It’s a boy!

David Letterman’s kid was born, and as the title indicates, it’s a boy. Congratulations, Dave! On the vanishingly rare chance that he reads this, I’d like to offer a few thoughts.

1. It’s a baby. Don’t try that “Will It Float?” game with him.

2. Ditto that game where you toss things off the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater.

3. I have a sneaking suspicion that kids can’t taste things until they are three. Remember this when you fall into the “But you loved peas when you were a baby!” trap.

4. You’re raising a male, so if you’re wondering how best to raise your baby into a real man, take careful note of this lengthy bit of rumination on manhood…and do the exact opposite. Please oh please.

I was going to try to come up ten of these, you know, for a “Top Ten” list. But then I got lazy. Enjoy the kid, Dave!

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