Month: September 2003

Oh, cool! There are a lot of neat metaphorical names out there for the collected efforts of we bloggers, e-journal writers, and online essayists. “The Blogosphere” is the most popular, obviously. Along that line, I would prefer “The Blogiverse”, personally, but ultimately my favorite is “Blogistan”, the suffix of which characterizes blogs as a kind of realm-unto-themselves where outside concerns might not matter as much, and where there is constant “battling” among camps (although blogger battles are infinitely preferable to the kind you find in real-life places whose names end with “stan”). But I’ve just come across a really nifty new one, based not on cosmology or geography but on biology:

The Islets of Bloggerhans.

Now that is a terrific metaphor! It comes from the Islets of Langerhans, which are the groups of cells scattered throughout the pancreas that make insulin and other enzymes essential to digestion. It’s also one of the few poetically-named biological features; the name sounds more like a place that Gulliver should have visited on one of his travels.

(The article in which I see this term for the first time is a takedown of Glenn Reynolds and the whole “Cruz Bustamante is a racist” thing that I’m not paying much attention to, because I’m not in California.)

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Education has been on the mind a bit lately, both from Blogistan (such as this fine education-centered blog) and from the fact that my kid will be entering some kind of schooling quite soon. It’s pretty much an article of faith that our schools don’t do well enough, and no, they probably don’t. We’re constantly being told that test scores are down, we’re always hearing horrific anecdotes about the kids who identified Montana as our enemy in World War II or who spell “rabbit” with three M’s. We hear about schools being used to inculcate certain values that not everyone wants their kids to have. We hear about sex in schools, and I personally am troubled by all of the arts and sports-program cutting that goes on. (It depresses me to no end to see parents complain to TV cameras at the school board meetings when those programs are cut, when those same parents voted down tax increases in the last election that would have kept those programs going.)

But then, I see America right now, and we’re still the world’s wealthiest nation, we’re still the main economic engine for this planet, we’re still producing musicians and novelists and painters and filmmakers. No, kids don’t know all the stuff that I’d like them to know. But a lot of ’em know stuff that I never knew. So maybe the kids are morons, and it’s just taking them a long time to put our country on the rocks. Or maybe they’re not morons at all, and we need to lighten up or rethink what we consider to be moronic. Or maybe the truth lies somewhere in the middle. Most likely, everybody is a moron. Now, that is a democratic view.

Ultimately, I think the proper purpose of education is best described as “minimizing stupidity”. Unfortunately, we seem to be in an era in which identifying stupidity just isn’t done; and anyway, I’m lately wondering if stupidity is hardwired into the human condition.

I’ve also been thinking a bit lately about homeschooling, and I’m pretty certain that I don’t want to do it. And I get worried when I read things like this post by Holly Lisle, in which she blatantly states that everybody should be homeschooling. I’m sorry, but I can’t get behind that. I really can’t. I think the option should be there, but I see no reason to assume that the legions of people out there who would be homeschooling are a priori better teachers than the people employed by the schools. Good teaching is a skill, and not everybody has it. I really don’t think that a dramatic upswing in homeschooling would really have the effect that its adherents think it would. I don’t know if it would be a complete trainwreck either, but I keep returning to a point made facetiously by George Carlin: “Kids are like anyone else. There’s a few winners, and a whole lot of losers.” Well, it seems to me that would apply to homeschoolers as well. (But not you, if you’re teaching your kid at home. You are brilliant. It’s the other folks.) And I think that we need to really consider hard the reasons people may have for homeschooling their kids. If the local school system is really that bad, and it could well be, that’s one thing. If you don’t want your kid learning about evolution, though, that’s something else.

(ASIDE: Maybe it’s because I am a liberal, but my eyes tend to glaze over whenever someone from the conservative or libertarian sphere characterizes public schools as a massive liberal values indoctrination program. First of all, judging by the political climate these days, it doesn’t really seem that the great liberal scheme to use schools to trot out armies of identically-thinking liberals is working particularly well. Secondly, it’s not usually all that clear just which “liberal” values are being foisted, anyway. “They just want to turn all kids into little liberals” is, pretty much, twaddle.)

Another odd thing about teachers is that I’m less and less convinced that there’s much we can do, quantitatively, to see how “good” they are, except probably through test scores of their classes over time. I remember some teachers fondly because, to me, they were great teachers; they reached me on some level and taught me something I haven’t forgotten. Other students, encountering the exact same teacher, might not have liked them nearly as well, or not at all. There were teachers I loved whom classmates of mine couldn’t stand, and there was one very popular teacher in my high school whom I absolutely hated. As far as I was concerned, the woman was the nexus of all evil in our county, and I’m pretty sure she thought the same of me.

I also recall my eighth grade English teacher, who was just godawful. She was stiff and dull, she constantly gave us creative writing assignments that were better suited to fourth graders, she did our grammar lessons in robotic fashion, not one of the books she required us to read has stuck in my memory in the slightest degree…just horrible. When I later learned, on my first day of my senior year, that she would be my AP English teacher, my heart sank in the expectation of more drudgery and boredom. It turned out, though, that she was much more at ease with teaching seniors; it allowed her to indulge her real interests in literature as opposed to the stuff she’d done with us four years before. Just four years difference, teaching the same subject, made all the difference to her. I’m still amazed at the difference.

I’m not really sure if I have a point in all this, except that I’d like it if we could somehow find that balance between making sure kids know what they’re going to need to know to function in this world, and not choking the love of learning from them. Kids have to be taught to hate learning. If we could somehow figure out how to get them to never ask “Is this gonna be on the test?” or “Why do I gotta learn this?” again, I think a lot of our educational problems might go away. I had a prof in college (just for one class though, which was a pity because I liked the guy) who said he hated the “card game” approach to teaching, which you find everywhere. It’s when the teacher throws down a card (test question), and if the student wants to pass, he’d better have the right card to respond to each of the teacher’s cards. I worry that in the rush to do all this testing, we’re exacerbating the “card game” approach to education.

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Here’s a DVD technical question: As I’ve noted before, I use the Buffalo and Erie County Library system for a lot of my DVD viewing, because they have a great collection and I can request DVDs from anywhere in the library system and have them delivered right to my local branch, which is perfect, especially for older films or even foreign movies that aren’t stocked at the local BlockBuster. (People who live in big metro areas and don’t use their libraries might as well move to rural Montana.)

But, the B&ECPL has a practice of putting their nice, thick cataloging barcode labels right on the face of the DVDs themselves. This doesn’t seem to interfere with playback at all, except that while watching any DVD I check out of the library my player makes a “buzzing” noise that I suspect is the wobbling of the disc as it rotates at high speed, with said wobble resulting from that label’s weight throwing the disc out of balance. (These labels are thick.) I’m 98% certain that the labels are the cause of the buzz, because I never hear it when playing my own DVDs or ones I rent.

So, is there any possibility that playing these unbalanced DVDs can hurt my player, or is that buzzing just a minor annoyance?

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The Department of Weird Convergences, which has apparently been on vacation near Crawford, Texas, wishes to note the following bumper stickers, noted within six inches of one another on the back of a Chevy pickup the other day.

:: A 700 Club sticker (with logo) that read, “This is still One Nation UNDER GOD.” (Emphasis as marked on the sticker.)

:: One of those images of a little boy, with his trousers dropped and his posterior in full view, with an arcing line clearly meant to depict a stream of urine, impacting a “Ford” logo.

The Department is wondering if slapping the second sticker in such proximity to the first sticker has any “blunting” effect on the first sticker’s message. Anyone?

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I once met a man with a wooden leg, named Smith.

I’d forgotten what a good movie Mary Poppins is. The songs are all wonderful, and the acting is all first-rate. Although, I must admit that Dick Van Dyke’s fake Cockney accent gets a tad grating after a while. But the film is undoubtedly the best pure musical Disney ever made. In fact, if it weren’t for that Disney label – – had Fox or Warners made it, for example – – the film would probably be remembered as one of the finer musicals as opposed to a family/kids movie. It’s also a terrific fantasy: it creates a whole little world within London where magic can happen and wonderment can be found. Here’s an urban fantasy from yesteryear.

Of course, watching the film now, I can’t help but keep reflecting on the “Sherry Bobbins” parody that The Simpsons did….

(So, what was the name of his other leg?)

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Olympus Mons, the planet Mars.

Like everyone else, I’ve been going outside to scope out the planet Mars over the last week or so. I’m as fascinated by Mars as anyone – – a planet that’s somewhat Earthlike, but also violently different, where humans will one day set up their first colonies on another planet. (My firm belief is that colonization is our destiny, and we’d best be about it.) Mars is there, and it’s waiting. What are we waiting for?

(Here is a great gallery of Mars pics.)

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NFL 2003, continued.

OK, I’ve weighed in on the Bills and the rest of the AFC East. Now I’ll go on about the rest of the league a bit. (Not every team, though. I have my limits.)

:: If the Minnesota Vikings, my favorite NFC team, were to win the Super Bowl, I think it might make the third page of the Buffalo sports section. That’s how hard it is to come by Vikings news out here. The Vikes struck me as a disaster-in-waiting at the beginning of last year, and for a time I genuinely believed that they should waive Randy Moss and just go right into a rebuilding project. Moss appears, though, to have moved a bit beyond his stupid attitude, and the Vikes in general appear to be improving, as far as I can tell. Every year there’s at least one playoff team that totally surprises me. Last year it was the Browns. This year, it could well be the Vikings.

:: My second-favorite team overall is the Pittsburgh Steelers. I only root against the Steelers if, and only if, they are either playing the Bills or a Steeler victory would hurt the Bills (by, say, denying them home-field advantage or a playoff berth). That said, I expect that for the thirty-seventh consecutive year, the Steelers will get to the playoffs, that they will fail to advance to the Super Bowl, and that in the postgame press conference Bill Cowher will look like his jaw is about to burst into flame while his eyes blast Cyclops-like death-rays. But at least it won’t be a case of Kordell Stewart suddenly realizing he’s in a big game and thus lowering his play to the level of a drunken Arena Leaguer. That’s progress, right?

:: So Jake Plummer is in Denver now. Maybe he’ll flourish under a new system, better coaches and better ownership. But he’s also got a number of years’ worth of bad habits, bred or allowed to fester under the aegis of a crappy organization in Arizona. But maybe he’s just the guy, now that a few years of Brian Griese has allowed the memory of John Elway to move, just slightly, into the area of local legend as opposed to the immediate past, to lead the Denver resurgence. The Broncos should have been better last year than they were.

:: And speaking of Arizona, so Emmitt Smith’s going to finish out his days there. Big whoop. The only real question mark for Smith now is if, when he finally decides to hang ’em up – – probably after this year – – Jerry Jones will let him sign one of those one-day deals next summer just so he can officially retire as a Cowboy.

Here are a couple of questions about the Cardinals: Do Cardinals fans exist? And, if so, does it bother them that the greatest moment in their franchise’s history, receiver Rod Tidwell’s touchdown catch to beat Dallas and put the Cards in the playoffs, was a fictional moment from a movie?

:: Will Oliver Willis, Blogistan’s source for All Things Redskins, be smiling this year? Well, Oliver strikes me as the kind of football fan who can find something to smile about even in a 3-13 year, so it’s all relative. He won’t be dancing in the streets celebrating the ‘Skins’ return to the Super Bowl, but he’ll probably be encouraged with a 9-7 campaign.

:: So, who will actually win the divisions this year? Below are my predictions. Consider that last year, I correctly predicted six of eight division winners. Heh. Indeed.

AFC East: Buffalo

AFC North: Pittsburgh

AFC South: Tennessee

AFC West: Kansas City

AFC Wildcards: New England, Denver

NFC East: Philadelphia

NFC North: Green Bay

NFC South: Tampa

NFC West: San Francisco

NFC Wildcards: St. Louis, NY Giants

The division I’m “iffiest” about is the NFC West. I’m mainly picking the Rams in the playoffs for sentimental reasons – – I just really dig Kurt Warner, and I’d like to see him return to form. I also think that my predicted order-of-finish in the NFC East could very well be reversed; the Giants just might be hungrier than the Eagles. (Each team has good reason to be hungry.) And there are always the Falcons…but Michael Vick’s hurt right now, which might put them in a hole to start with. I’d also watch out for Minnesota, Seattle and Cleveland this year, too. Each of those teams could be a major spoiler or even get into the playoffs. Finally, I’m wary of leaving Oakland out of my post-season mix, but I also think they don’t have enough gas in the tank to overcome the younger teams in their division.

:: And finally, who will win the Super Bowl? Well, looking at the last six Super Bowl champions, a pattern emerges.

1997: Denver

1998: Denver

1999: St. Louis

2000: New England

2001: Baltimore

2002: Tampa

2003: ???

What’s the pattern? Well, aside from the repeat-champion 1998 Broncos, every one of these champions is a team that, to that point in franchise history, had never won a Super Bowl before. (Even the 1996 Packers could be considered part of this trend, since their previous championship had been 30 years before.) The era of parity and free agency has genuinely created an atmosphere where any team, run coached and managed well, can put together a Super Bowl champion. If 2003 keeps to this formula and crowns a brand new champion that has never won it all before, I expect it to be one of these teams: Buffalo, Tennessee, Atlanta (even though I’m not even picking them to make the playoffs!) or Philadelphia. Of those teams, the Titans and Eagles are probably the most desperate to win before the current window closes and they go back into cap-forced rebuilding.

But I don’t think that’s going to happen this time out, because I think we’re going to see a repeat champion for the first time in five years. I think that Tampa will win it all, again – – mainly because they’re returning pretty much the exact same team that won it all last year. They are still ascendant. Free agency hasn’t stripped them yet, their players are not too old yet, and they are built around physical defense. About the only thing that I can see keeping them from winning a second consecutive Super Bowl is injuries. Who will they beat? Tennessee, probably. So that’s my pick: The Buccaneers over the Titans.

Repeating in the NFL has always been tough, but I don’t think it’s any more tough in the free agency era than it was before. It’s simply that the formula is different. If you can put together a Super Bowl-caliber team, and win that first championship early in the four or five years that are at most what you’ll have to do it, then you’ll be able to do what the Bucs are able to do this year: come back from a championship with almost the same personnel. What’s harder now is creating a dynasty: building a franchise that dominates for year after year over a long period. I expect we’ll see repeat champions at about the same clip as before: one will come along every five, six, or seven years. (Between the 1978/1979 Steelers and the 1988-1989 49ers, there were no repeat champions. But the period between 1988 and 1998 saw three repeats – – the 49ers, the Cowboys, and the Broncos.)

So, that’s it. I will, of course, track the progress each week in boring fashion. So, I’m ready for some football!

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Kevin Drum notes the latest example of school officials overreacting to a student’s creative writing exercise. As Kevin notes, this bizarre belief on the part of many in education today that we can somehow eradicate brooding teenagers is causing a lot of problems. I did a fair amount of brooding myself, and I recall that some of my teachers accepted it and tried to “channel” it, while others apparently had no use for the non-popular sports types like myself. In general, I suspect that the brooding types are never really trusted, which is a particular bummer now that we’ve managed to convince ourselves that every brooding heart may be a beat or two away from sliding over the edge to murderousness. (Wow…”muderousness”, what a word…)

I’m also probably lucky that my main creative outlet in school was music. I did write, but that was always “back burner” stuff and it was always Star Wars fanfic. Had my current love of horror developed back then, I probably would have generated some grim material indeed. But then, I’ve never really been one for using my fiction to vent the problems of my inner life. I don’t base characters in my stories on people I know, nor do I put my characters into situations in which I have been before. I may borrow someone’s interesting habits or something like that, but that’s about it. So even in my “brooding teen” days, I would have been vanishingly unlikely to write a tale in which I arranged the deaths of my hated teachers. (And besides, my brooding was pretty tame, and there were only a handful of teachers I really disliked in school.)

Kevin’s parting shot here is this: Everywhere you look, it’s either overreaction or underreaction. Is it just the curse of humanity never to get things right? I’m sure that Kevin knows that the answer here is basically “Yes”. We’re basically a pendulum species that will never, ever quite reach the center where we find Nirvana, Heaven, Righteousness, or whatever you want to call that state of pure morality. Sometimes we swing way too far one way, other times we sway too far the other. All we can really hope for is that over time the wildness of our swings lessens a bit, and that our moral pendulum never again approaches, say, the position where buying and selling other human beings for servitude is OK; and what keeps the pendulum swinging in the first place is that no one knows what its rest-position would be, anyway.

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One of the small side effects of hanging out in online writers’ forums is that writers (in my experience) tend to be cat people, and inevitably there comes a post every so often in which someone’s beloved cat passes away. If one is also a cat person, these posts are always very sad. There was such a post on a Usenet group I read the other day, and amongst the follow-ups of condolence I found this charming quote:

“Yes, dogs provided companionship while man was at the hunt. But it was cats who insisted that we invent houses and discover fire.”

I don’t know where that comes from, but man, is that a great quote.

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Just in case anyone is wondering where my comments have gone, apparently the YACCS server croaked at some point early in the weekend, and due to (a) the fact that it is a weekend and (b) it’s a long holiday weekend at that, the outage has lasted longer than normal. Hopefully commenting will be restored tomorrow sometime.

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