From dung, a rose bloometh

The Honorable Mr. Jones, a talented writer who turned away from The Craft when he realized that he needed to, you know, eat and live under something other than cardboard, decided to try the Buffalo News‘s recent short-story contest, and he posts his resulting tale here. Check it out. It’s under 1500 words (about four pages of a mass-market paperback), so it won’t be too taxing.

I also wrote a submission for the contest, and if I don’t win I’ll post my own results here. (The two winning stories are to be printed in the News this Tuesday, so I’m assuming that I lost, but maybe they’re waiting until tomorrow to notify winners. I can hope, can’t I….) I won’t claim that Matt’s story and my story are better than the two stories that will actually appear in the paper, since I want to at least maintain an air of modesty, but….you know.

Share This Post

Too….many….identities….

Paul wonders why anyone would want to use more than one screen-name, either on AOL or any other service that allows such features. I have two reasons for doing this:

1. One is professional. When I was trying to launch my freelance copywriting business (which never really got off the ground, alas — but I can always try that again when I have better footing), I wanted to have an e-mail address dedicated to just that, and use my “Jaquandor” address for personal stuff as well as fiction-writing related e-mail. It just made things easier to maintain.

2. Both AOL and EarthLink, my main Internet portals, offer webspace to each active screenname or e-mail address in use. This is big. It allows me space to store my own images for use in this blog (as well as the background graphics for The Promised King), and since I can basically give myself a new 10MB of web space by just creating a new e-mail address or screen name (I haven’t even used a third of the total aliases theoretically available to me), I shouldn’t have to worry about running out of space here for a long, long time.

3. I also have a Hotmail account that I use exclusively for my eBay-related correspondence. It’s just easier to have all of that e-mail going to one place.

4. My G-mail is just a backup, although I’ve started checking it more religiously after twice in one month discovering e-mails sent my way a week after the fact. This isn’t really an alias or anything like that, but it sort of qualifies.

So, I don’t really use multiple screen names or e-mail addresses in any attempt to obscure my identity from one set of online interactions to another; it’s more a bit of mental book-keeping.

(I should also note that I used to be fairly militant about remaining strictly pseudonymous, but I eventually realized that this wasn’t really important. It was about the same time that I realized that I have little to worry about from “identity theft”, since anyone stealing my identity will find that it gets them about as far as the nearest NFTA bus stop.)

Share This Post

Aw, MANNN….

Kim at ThymeWise links something called “MerleFest”, which sports what is just about the coolest name for a festival of some sort I’ve ever heard. And sure enough, following the link, I see that I wanna go to MerleFest. And I can’t. Dammit.

Maybe next year.

(There’s a strong connection between bluegrass and traditional Celtic music, and MerleFest just looks right up my alley. And my name’s not even Merle.)

(Oh, and Kim and husband Scott are committed Blue Staters, and they’re passing up a charity event in which they really wanted to participate to go to a music festival in a Red State. What’s all this about “flyover country” and “Blue Staters looking down on Red Staters” and all that rot? Harumph!)

Share This Post

Was it Gore-Tex?

Since I learned yesterday that Vice President Cheney attended a very solemn memorial service at Auschwitz garbed in a giant parka (as opposed to the standard black wool overcoat), I’ve been of mixed mind: it’s just not that big a deal, but I think it does speak to a certain oafishness on the part of the people who assured us, back on January 20, 2001, that “the grownups were back in charge”.

But what really bugged me about this whole thing was something else, something elusive, that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. But finally it came to me just a little bit ago: what bothers me is that I don’t want the Vice President of the United States looking like George Costanza when he’s abroad representing my country. I mean, compare:

The Vice President

George Costanza

Oy.

Share This Post

Did Lord Stanley have a saucer for that thing?

I don’t follow hockey much; basically I root for the Buffalo Sabres out of local loyalty, but that’s about it. I don’t really understand the finer rudiments of the game — I always get into it when the players are skating around and they have some good momentum going, but then they inexplicably stop completely, and the announcer says something like, “Oh, Grapinchuk crossed the blue line!” or “Grapinchuk is called for icing!” And I’m thinking, “Huh?” I even liked it when one of the TV networks had that little dot superimposed over the puck, with that laser-like special effect whenever the puck was passed or shot. It made the game easier to watch.

Anyway, hockey’s quite a topic on the local sports talk shows, because (a) Super Bowl hype won’t ramp up until next week (and, really, since everybody knows that StuPats are going to spank the Eagles, what’s the point?), and (b) hockey is Buffalo’s only sport when the Bills aren’t active. So I heard a proposal on one of the shows this morning, offered by some guy who called in. I didn’t catch the guy’s name, but his idea — a prescription for making the game of hockey itself more exciting — struck me as interesting, and I thought I’d summarize it here in case any of my hockey-knowledgable readers wanted to comment.

Basically, everyone on the radio agrees that NHL hockey has become so defense-oriented that the game is boring to watch. The fast pace is apparently gone. A popular idea for rectifying this is to increase the area of the ice, but that’s not really practical in most cases, since presumably few NHL arenas can accomodate a larger ice surface. What the radio caller proposed was this: if you can’t increase the size of the ice, get the same effect by reducing the number of players on the ice in the first place.

He proposed that the NHL switch to four-on-four hockey, with a concurrent reduction of roster sizes. Fewer players taking up the ice would, he argued, promote the kind of fast-paced, skating-centered game that the NHL used to be.

The obvious sticking point would be that the players’ union would not approve a plan that reduces the number of jobs available for players, but the caller had an answer for that, too: compensate for that by expanding the NHL to markets that have either been abandoned (Hartford, Quebec City) or new markets entirely.

Any hockey fans with thoughts on this? I have absolutely no idea one way or the other.

Share This Post

All the Pretty Houses

It turns out that Scott of The Gamer’s Nook likes Extreme Makeover Home Edition, which — I have to admit — I enjoy as well, although I have some nagging questions about the show:

1. Why is it always someone who’s really down on their luck, preferably with some disease that requires some kind of super-odd construction stuff? It would be nice just to see them pick a nice, healthy family that happens to live in a crappy house.

2. It’s cool that the nine year old son who’s really into, say, monkeys gets a room decorate with monkey-stuff to the gills. But what happens when that same nine-year-old son is a fourteen-year-old son five years from now who might not so much want to sleep in a monkey-shaped bed? Or when that same kid, two years later, wants to, you know, bring one of them girls by…”Uh, on second thought Susie, maybe we should just sit in the living room and watch a movie….”

3. The big one: Just how good can the quality of construction be after building a house in seven days? In the episodes when they pour new foundations, can the concrete even be completely dry before they start erecting walls?

4. Actually, this is the big question: Why, oh why, does each episode not feature more shots of those two really attractive women using power tools?! Always remember my Second Theorem of Womanly Goodness:

Attractive Woman + Workwear + Power Tools = Happiness


For proof of the Second Theorem, have a gander at Amy Wynn Pastor, a carpenter on Trading Spaces. Yup, that’s what TV needs: more women doing stuff with power tools.

(Kidding and light-hearted stuff aside, Scott also links a very worthy cause. Give if you can.)

Share This Post