Mea culpa.

I goofed a bit, folks, in writing this post, the “Seven Things” post. See, I wrote the intro first, saved it as a draft, and then came back later and wrote my seven things…but I forgot about the proviso I’d written in the first part of the post, in which I indicated that I’d list six true things and one false one.

So…all those things are actually true. And now I feel bad, so here are another seven things, with one genuinely false statement. Ye Gods….

1. I once had to get a tetanus shot when I paddled my kayak through a barbed-wire fence. (No, not at high speed, but I did get scratched a bit in trying to push my way through the fence.)

2. I own exactly two neckties, and the last time I wore one was when I had a job interview four years ago.

3. It’s been a long time since I had the stuff, so I can’t be too sure if it’s still the case, but I used to like Vegemite.

4. I have never owned a pair of Levi’s.

5. The first Major League Baseball game I ever attended saw the Phillies fall to the Pirates. This was in 1983 or so.

6. My graduation gift from my parents, when I graduated college, was a Persian kitten.

7. My favorite comic strip as a kid was…(oh, lord)…Family Circus.

OK, folks, there it is. One of these really is false. I promise!

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Book Quiz!

I don’t think I’ve seen this quiz before I ran across it at Sheila’s place, which seems odd, because surely by now I’ve seen (and done) every blog quiz that exists, right?

Anyway, it’s about books:

What are you reading right now?

The Star King by Jack Vance; Wind, Sand and Stars by Antoine de Saint Exupery; The Discovery of Poetry by Francis Mayes; The Forgetting Room by Nick Bantock.

Do you have any idea what you’ll read when you’re done with that?

Yes. And no.

I’ve fallen hard for personal travel narratives, so I have a few of those out of the library right now. I also have three books by Anais Nin out — a collection of essays, a general-purpose reader, and what appears to be a later portion of her unexpurgated diary — but after dipping into these, I think I’d rather start at the beginning and track down Volume One of that diary for myself.

I also need to do some dipping into the various Year’s Best anthologies of SF and fantasy.

What magazines do you have in your bathroom right now?

Our bathroom isn’t big enough to keep many magazines; usually there’s just the most recent issue of Time in there. I do read magazines in there; it’s just that I bring them back out when I’m done. You know how it is. (That said, Cooking Light is a good magazine for in there.)

What’s the worst thing you were ever forced to read?

I loathed The Yearling, and I loathed the teacher who assigned it, especially when she gave me a low grade on my report because I dared admit that I thought the book was boring dreck.

A close second would be Ordinary People, the dysfunctional-family novel that had me rooting for the characters to reach for the full bottle of sleeping pills.

What’s the one book you always recommend to just about everyone?

I tend to be very gun-shy about recommending books. The ones I’d most tend to recommend are deeply personal to me on some level, to the point that I’d likely have a difficult time reconciling it if I recommended it to a close friend only to receive a “Meh” response.

That being the case, I have a very dear friend to whom I have gifted copies of, among others, GGK’s Lions of Al-Rassan, Bantock’s Griffin and Sabine series, and Joel ben Izzy’s The Beggar King and the Secret of Happiness. I have no idea if she’s read any of them. In a way, it doesn’t matter.

Admit it, the librarians at your library know you on a first name basis, don’t they?

I don’t know if they do or not, but it wouldn’t surprise me. We visit weekly. I’m always nonplussed when I meet voracious readers who don’t use their libraries; way I see it, why should I limit my reading to only those books I can afford to buy?

Is there a book you absolutely love, but for some reason, people never think it sounds interesting, or maybe they read it and don’t like it at all?

See above, really. I do wish I knew more people who loved the kinds of books I do, though. My reading soulmate is out there, somewhere!

Do you read books while you eat? While you bathe? While you watch movies or TV? While you listen to music? While you’re on the computer? While you’re having sex? While you’re driving?

In order: only if dining alone; no, since I shower, although I did read books while soaking in my parents’ hot tub before I moved out; if others in the clan are watching something I don’t much care about; yes; I used to, in order to pass time while waiting for downloads in my dial-up days; I can’t read with my eyes closed (wow, did I just reveal too much information about myself); Lord, NO! Bad things happen that way, like you can die in a fiery wreck, and then you’re just a burnt crisp who doesn’t even get to find out who did it or if Prince Flatulent manages to save the Realm.

When you were little, did other children tease you about your reading habits?

Not really. In early grade school, I gave them other material to work with, by virtue of being the fat kid with no fashion sense at all and no athletic ability to speak of (save swimming, which I was apparently no slouch at). Later on, in high school, classmates would voice their befuddlement at the mere idea of reading for pleasure, but this was never teasing or ridiculing, just “Wow, I don’t know how you do that.”

What’s the last thing you stayed up half the night reading because it was so good you couldn’t put it down?

I’m actually pretty good at putting books aside to get some sleep, since eventually I actually do fall asleep, which I always take as a sign that it’s time to reach for the bookmark. I did plow through the second half of Harry Potter Episode VII in a single afternoon. And yes, I distracted The Daughter by having her play computer games for…well, let’s just say it was longer than I should have, OK?

And there you go.

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Quite contrary….

We are now making our way through the Little House books with The Daughter, reading a bit of them to her each night at bedtime. I’m missing large portions of the story, though, because she continues reading after we do our requisite fifteen minutes or so, which means that each night I’m picking up quite a ways after the place I’d left off. The books seem really disjointed that way.

But one thing I notice is that each time in the books that little Laura gets into some bit of trouble, no matter how small, Our Narrator (grown-up Laura, obviously) solemnly informs us just how good older sister Mary is, and how Mary never gets in trouble because she’s just so good. And sure enough, Mary in the books seems to be a few diddlies away from leaving the Ingallses and becoming a Flanders.

That’s that, I guess. It sounded more interesting before I wrote it.

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Seven Things, again….

It missed my notice until the other day that Mark hit me with the venerable “Seven Things” quiz-meme, and before I could get my entry done, Aaron hit me with it as well. I’m sure I’m expected to do fourteen things, but no dice: I’ll still do seven. Harumph.

So, this is just seven things about me, or something like that. But I’m doing a twist: one of these items is false. Try and guess which one. I dare you!

1. When the Bills first appeared in the Super Bowl (SB XXV, against the NY Giants), I was in college in Iowa and no place in town served Buffalo-style chicken wings at the time, so I had to make do with a big box of KFC’s “Hot Wings”, which were apparently not terribly popular in that town as every time I went in there to order Hot Wings, they had to fry them to order. I chalk this up to the generically bland cuisine in Iowa, where four shakes of the pepper shaker can render some dishes too spicy for local palates.

2. I never wore overalls in public until my junior year in college, at which time I took a lot of ribbing for wanting to fit in with all the native Iowans (very few of whom actually wore overalls, so I’m not sure what they were getting on about anyway).

3. The sharpest, most agonizing physical pain I have ever endured in my life came when I was in seventh grade and I had a very bad cold that settled into my ears, giving me an ear infection for the ages. That was bad enough, but the doctor prescribed two antibiotics, one to be taken internally and the other in the form of ear drops. Problem was, my ear canal was swollen shut to the point where the drops couldn’t get in, so my mother jammed the dropper down in there.

4. It’s the epitome of the cheesy ballad, but I can’t get enough of Carrie Underwood singing “Inside Your Heaven”.

5. In second grade we lived in Elkins, WV, where one of my best friends was the son of a coal miner. When I went to his apartment once, he showed me the room where his entire family slept, mom and dad and his siblings alike, in a series of beds lined up against one wall. (That kid was just a great guy, too — Randall Riley was his name. He loved fishing. For only having spent one year in Elkins, some of the friends I made there stand out very strong in my memories — as does my teacher, Sandy Pnakovich, who I recently learned through a bit of Googling died in hospice care a few years ago, of some form of cancer, I suspect.)

6. The first science fiction novel that I remember reading, outside of media tie-in books like the Star Wars novelizations and James Blish’s novelizations of Star Trek episodes was The Time Machine by HG Wells.

7. As much as I enjoy wit and funny wordplay, I also love a good madcap slapstick farce…and yet I cannot stand the Three Stooges. Laurel and Hardy? I like them…and I could watch Abbott and Costello until doomsday. But the Stooges? Not a fan.

OK, that’s all. I’ll actually tag some people now, although probably not the required seven: Kellie (whom I don’t think I’ve ever tagged before), Roger (who’s probably done this already), Steph and Nettl (tagging both halves of a couple here!), and sticking with the couples-tagging, Scott and Kim. Oh heck, what’s one more to get the required seven for the Seven Things quiz? Vicki, here it is!

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A couple of sporting thoughts

One: on a scale of relative outrage, I think that the Michael Vick thing so far outpaces the Barry Bonds steroids thing that they’re not even remotely in the same reality. One guy takes drugs to give him some extra ability on the field. The other kills dogs because he thinks it’s fun to kill dogs. Bonds: jerk. Vick: depraved, disgusting individual.

Two: good article here on the NFL’s lunatic approach to rookie salaries. I hate this business of rookies, who have never played a single down in the NFL, holding out because they deserve more money, and I hate that this has made having the top pick in the draft a less attractive thing than it should be because the team with the top pick is saddled with a massive salary for that player before they ever make the pick. Rookie salaries should be capped, and capped hard. (Now, since the average NFL career is quite a lot shorter than that of other sports, I’d compensate by making rookies free agents a lot sooner — maybe their second or third years. That way, they can cash in with big contracts sooner, and run less of a risk of getting hurt before their initial rookie deal is up.)

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A quiz thing

I snagged this from Samantha says. You answer each question with three words, and only three words. Three. “Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.”

Here it is. (Yes, I cheat a bit as far as what constitutes a “word”. This I do because I always cheat on Internet quizzes.)

1. Where is your cell phone?:

It doesn’t exist.

2. Your boyfriend?:

Ummm…er…no.

3. Your hair?:

Longer than yours!

4. Where is your father?:

Home, I suppose.

5. Cheesecake?:

I’d love some!

6. Your favorite thing to do?:

Buy more books.

7. Your dream last night?:

She was there….

8. Your favorite drink?:

Spum and cola.

9. Your dream car?:

XP-38 Sport Landspeeder.

10. The room you’re in?:

Hmmmm. Rather messy.

11. George Bush?:

Ewwwwwww! It burns!

12. Your fears?:

Marshawn breaks leg.

13. Nipple rings?

I hate piercing.

14. Who did you hang out with last night?

My lovely daughter.

15. What you’re not good at?:

Basketball. I stink.

16. Your best friend?

She’s not here.

17. One of your wish list items?:

Tale of Genji.

18. Where did you grow up?:

All over America.

19. The last thing you did before survey?:

Got water bottle.

20. What are you wearing?:

Shocker! Not overalls!

21. Tattoo on the small of a back?:

Meh. No opinion.

22. Ketchup?

Like mustard better.

23. Your computer?:

My true love.

24. Your life?

Better soon, please!

25. Your mood?:

I want pie.

26. Missing?

She’s not here.

27. What are you thinking about right now?:

Three-word answers.

28. Your car?:

Meh. It starts.

29. Your work?:

Love it so!

30. Your summer?

I’ve had better.

31. Your relationship status?:

Off the market.

32. Your favorite color(s):

Purple, pink, blue.

33. When is the last time you laughed?:

Haaaaa! Just now.

34. Last time you cried?:

Waaaaa! Just now.

35. High school?:

Coulda done without.

Well, that was fun, eh?

(BTW, what’s with the Wikipedia article for the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch being tagged for “not citing references or sources”? What reference works or sources exist from which one might base reliable knowledge of the Holy Hand Grenade? I think the Wikipedians tend to believe that when they defecate, it comes out in the form of hewn marble.)

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Sunday Burst of Weirdness

Oddness abounds!

:: The alien from Alien, made of vegetables. Seriously. I never liked the Alien movies, but I always did kind of like the design of the alien itself.

:: It’s always fun to go back to basics, which for purposes of the Burst of Weirdness means finding nifty stuff based on Cthulhu. Here’s Termithulhu, which crosses Cthulhu with the Terminator.

(Both these links via SF Signal.)

:: There’s a David Fincher movie to be found in this creepy news story: a serial killer in Moscow who, after dispatching his victims, marks them off on a chessboard. Via Warren Ellis.

All for this week!

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I was hoping for DEATH.

I don’t usually take these quizzes, but hey, I like the Tarot stuff:

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery – when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

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Stop it, Ken. You’re freaking me out.

Ken Jennings, nine days ago:

I bet [J.K. ] Rowling’s first post-Harry Potter book -– talk about a hard act to follow -– will be a classic mystery of some kind. I don’t know if it’ll be a hard-boiled gumshoe case, a true-crime police procedural, a classic manor-house throwback, or what, but it’ll be a mystery novel. She’s been writing them all along, after all. It’s just that no one’s noticed.

In the news, yesterday:

J.K. Rowling has been spotted at cafes in Scotland working on a detective novel, a British newspaper reported Saturday.

The Sunday Times newspaper quoted Ian Rankin, a fellow author and neighbor of Rowling’s, as saying the creator of the “Harry Potter” books is turning to crime fiction.

Hey Ken, if you could e-mail me confidentially with the winners of the next ten Super Bowls, World Series, Stanley Cups, NCAA Men’s Basketball tournaments, and Kentucky Derbies, I’d be highly appreciative. Thanks!

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