Jay-walking

As far as late-night TV goes, I’m a Letterman guy through and through, with one notable exception: I am hopelessly addicted to Jey Leno’s “Headlines”, which takes place during each Monday’s show. For those who haven’t seen this feature, it’s when Leno displays a series of goof-ups that appear in print publications throughout the country that either represent Freudian slips upon reading, or just plain stupidity in action. I always find this feature hilarious.

However, last night Leno had a first: a “Headline” that wasn’t really a “Headline”. It was a program for a Christmas hymn sing or something like that, with the first hymn up was “The First Nowell”. Leno parodied this obvious misspelling of “Noel”, pronouncing it in exaggerated fashion “No weellllll.” However, the word is not misspelled; “Nowell” is merely the old English way of spelling the word, before “Noel” became standard. Many older hymnals, psalters, and other songbooks list the carol as “The First Nowell”.

So Jay Leno really dropped the ball on that one. Good thing that was the very first Headline, and the rest of the bit worked fine.

Share This Post

Call For Questions?

I’ve tried this in the past without much result, but my traffic’s been up a lot lately (and it was already trending upward before it exploded on November 28), so I figure there may be more newer readers who’d like to toss out questions for me to answer — what I think of certain stuff, why I do certain things, the like. There’s an open mike in the comments, there.

So, anybody want to pose a query or two?

Share This Post

Ornamental Goodness

Last week I posted a few photos of favorite Christmas ornaments. Here are a couple more:

This is a neat one, although the effect isn’t as pronounced in the photo. It’s a kind of chiseled glass globe, hollowed out and inset with a little Nativity scene in brass. What makes it really cool is that there’s a hole in the bottom, through which a single bulb from one of the light strands is inserted; the bulb’s light is then scattered throughout the ornament, prism-like, by the glass. It’s very striking.

This one is also from the Past Times company. It’s one of a set of three little crowns, based — according to the catalog, anyway — on the crowns of England’s Plantagenet Kings. I have no idea if that’s true or not, but I love the way these look.

Yeah…I know.

Share This Post

Buffalo’s Return?

Craig responds to a series of articles that the Buffalo News has run all year, under the umbrella title “Why Not Buffalo?”, as in, “Other cities are doing OK. Why not us?”

Lots of answers have been explored in the series, and a lot of optimistic developments have been cited, as well as a lot of creative new directions for a city that’s often seen as old and decrepit. But as Craig notes:

Local opinion is still focused on building the trappings of a successful city and not on the underlying reasons for our lack of progress (poverty and population loss.) Chief among those reasons is our local and state governments’ crushing tax burden that makes businesses here uncompetitive and dissuades outside companies from locating here. Area development crusaders do want governmental reform, but what they’re calling for is reform of the process — how can we get government to deliver all the services we have now more efficiently?

The majority of them rarely if ever, mention those taxes and regulations. Now, it is true that recently we’ve seen some recognition here that small business — entrepreneurialism — could play a key part of Buffalo’s economic future.

That’s right. There is a lot of good stuff going on, but a true Buffalo resurgence can only happen if New York State in general adopts a more business-friendly attitude. There’s no getting around it: entrepreneurship isn’t going to “play a key part”. It’s the ball game. Now, we can look at this as either New York making it too hard for businesses to start up and stay in business, or we can look at it as other states making it easier for businesses to start up and stay in business, but what really matters is that the businesses are starting up someplace else, and there’s a reason for that.

The real answers to “Why not Buffalo?” can be found by going to business owners all over the country and simply posing that very question.

Now, I’m no faithful Capitalist — I do believe in regulation of business and progressive taxation and government services and all the rest of that. But it’s got to be clear that the scale has tipped too far toward government in this state. People don’t live in a place because of government. They live in a place because they can live there. Too many people don’t believe they can live here.

As I pointed out on Craig’s comments, I think that the series of articles in the News actually did provide a valuable service: they’ve played a part in rekindling some optimism around here. If anyone’s going to take on Albany and get the business climate in Upstate NY changed, they’re going to have to be optimistic first.

Share This Post

Sentential Links #29

Last month, before my attentions were consumed by sadder events, I was providing a bit of blogger uplift to the folks who left AOL Journals for other blogging venues after AOL forced ad-banners on their already-paying customers’ journals. I meant to collate all of the links to former AOLers in Blogistan in one post, but I never got around to it. So that’s what I’m doing in this Very Special Edition of Sentential Links! Check all of these out. Lots of good stuff out there.

:: This morning, like most mornings in the fall and winter, I hear crows just outside my window.

:: None of this is original, but it helps me to remember that great joy can come to the ugliest, lowest and darkest of places.

:: The drumming was inspiring and achingly beautiful in its complexity…… and there were somehow far more drummers than the fifteen to twenty women and two wonderful teens in that room. The drumming very much feels prayerful and sacred and I wish that you all could experience this at least once in your lifetime.

:: That means boys, if your woman is listening to Alanis Morissette a lot, you better get on your best behavior, and pronto…. lest you find yourself the object of some divine whiplashing words.

:: Every year around this time, I write a letter to my dear friend Kristin to let her in on the happenings in my life since I saw her last.

:: I wonder now if selective memory for everyone is a good idea. By that I mean would it not be better to lay out all your memories side by side and decide which ones to keep and which ones to erase?

:: I like to eat my Skittles (and other multi-colored candies) in color order. First all the orange. Then all the green and yellow, in pairs, to make lemon-lime. Then purple. Then red. My husband thinks this is odd (he just chows on them by the rainbow handful). I like to savor the individual flavors.

:: Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if she had had one of those back alley abortions. Would my soul have found another way to come to her? Were our destinies always planned as mother and daughter? Why so young? Why did my Dad have to be murdered in 1979?

:: My grandmother is nearing 100 this winter, nearly blind and deaf, fretting away her final days with only her thoughts to occupy her. I hope she remembers nights like this, when nature’s power held sway right off her own back porch.

:: After I left Florida with out saying a word to anyone, my mother put a missing persons report out on me.

:: You’ll never guess what I discovered in one of the filing drawers of my double-wide cubicle.

:: Blame the rhino in my head!

:: My gift to all of you who humored me as I recounted the day Holly was born is to share 18 years of Holly and her Christmas tree.

:: I remember when I first realized I was parenting for everyone else but my children.

:: My “caffeine low” light is flashing.

It’s entirely possible that I missed someone who might have sent me their link. If that’s the case, and you’re still around, either re-send or leave a link in comments.

Share This Post

A finish’d tale

I had scheduled the posting of the Epilogue to The Promised King, Book One for two weeks ago today, but clearly, circumstances being what they were at the time, I pretty much totally forgot about it until just the other day. If anyone out there is just dying to know how the story turned out (well, the first half of it, anyway), here’s the Epilogue.

As always, all previous chapters are available over there; just check the sidebar links and enjoy. The Promised King will lay fallow for a time, as Book Two isn’t even done yet. I am planning to start attacking it in earnest after the Holidays are over, and my current hope is to start serializing Book Two sometime next summer. (Don’t worry — The Welcomer doesn’t end with a cliffhanger; it merely leaves a lot of unresolved threads.)

Anyhow, when I’m ready to start posting Book Two, I’ll announce it here, obviously.

(This post will stay at the top of the main page here until Monday afternoon’s postings dislodge it, so scroll down for newer content on Sunday.)

Share This Post

Sunday Burst of Weirdness

This looks familiar, but I can’t remember if I’ve linked it before and I’m too lazy to search right now, so here it is, either for the first time or not: Cthulhu Carols! Perfect sing-along fun for the whole family!

Rudolph the Red Nosed Cultist
had a few insanities
and if you ever saw him
he’ll be chanting with great glee
Cthulhu fthagn Ia – aa
He is sleeping ‘neath the foam
as he stared out the window
through the bars where he made his home
Then one foggy moon streaked eve
Cthulhu came to say
Rudolph with your mind so brave
won’t you be my eternal slave
then all the other cultists
join Rudolph the mighty high priest
has joined Cthulhu in his lair.

I’d like to hear Burl Ives singing that, no?

(via Dr. Myers)

UPDATE: OK, a two-fer this week, since I spotted this goofy timewaster over at Lynn Sislo’s Undervisited Blog. You get to — well, this is odd — design your own Hell.

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle I Limbo

Oakland Raider Fans
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

George Bush
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Osama bin Laden
Circle IV Rolling Weights

PETA Members
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Scientologists
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Republicans, Libertarians
Circle VII Burning Sands

People who make fun of my overalls
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Objectivists
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

This is NOT meant seriously, in any way, shape or form! If you fall into any of the above categories, I am not suggesting that you’re really to be condemned to Hell. (Although I’m still reserving judgement on the folks in those bottom two layers…evil ones, they are….)

Share This Post

Bad team. Bad team. Bad. Not good. Icky, in fact.

As expected, last night the Buffalo Bills managed to make the 2005 season their third ten-loss season in the five years that Tom Donahoe’s been in charge. I’ll echo the general sentiment that it’s time for a change at the top, as I argued last week.

Since the Bills will almost certainly be picking in the Top Ten in the NFL draft next April, I will be most displeased if they don’t take the best defensive lineman available in the first round and then two offensive linemen with their next two picks, in whatever rounds those end up. If they fail to do this…well, I’ll post mean things about them. And we don’t want that, do we?

Oh well. I watched a bit of the Redskins-Cowboys matchup, and if I close my eyes, I flash back to Bills seasons past: “Bledsoe…under pressure…down he goes!” And it seemed like the FOX Sports people showed Gregg Williams (a Redskins assistant coach) a lot more than they showed Joe Gibbs (the ‘Skins’ head coach). I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see Williams as a head coach again next year…with the Jets, perhaps?

And now that the Colts have lost, they can rest their starters so they’ll be at full strength for if and when the Stupid Patriots show up in the playoffs, because yesterday the StuPats showed their awesome mettle by beating the Buccaneers at home. That’s how you prove your dominance: by winning a December game on a cold and wintry day against a team whose lifetime record in games played outdoors in temperatures under 40 degrees is something like 2-60.

Anyway, next week the Bills play the Bengals, who are still in the playoff “hunt”. Chalk up loss number eleven.

Share This Post

Fifteen Things About….

….Music!

Yes, I’m swiping the “Fifteen Things” format, from the books and writing ones, and making one about music. This is brand new. I’m breaking totally new territory here. Blazin’ a trail, all my own. Whoop!

1. The earliest music I remember hearing is my parents’ record player, with stuff like the original cast album of The Music Man, some Neil Diamond and John Denver (“Song Sung Blue” and “Country Roads”, to name two songs in particular), the Frank Sinatra album A Man Apart, and some old country stuff.

2. I remember really digging the song “Afternoon Delight”, when I was something like two years old. Now that I know what that damn song is about, I can only imagine that my parents found this absolutely hilarious.

3. My sister, who is six years older than me, started listening to classical music at some point, probably while she was taking piano lessons. I don’t remember any works, but I remember the sounds of orchestral music from her bedroom. (Coupled, later on, with groups like The Doors.)

4. The first record album I ever bought with my own money was the soundtrack to The Empire Strikes Back. I wore that old double-LP out over the next seven or eight years. I’ve never gotten over my love of John Williams.

5. I bought nothing but film score records until I was in high school, when rock and classical took over. Another very early film music purchase was Jerry Goldsmith’s Star Trek: The Motion Picture, which also led to a lifetime love of that particular composer.

6. As I note here, coming to Hector Berlioz took some work, but I love his music like no other composer now.

7. Beethoven’s Symphony #9 and Rachmaninov’s Symphony #2 both hit me right between the eyes.

8. My favorite rock band is either Van Halen or Pink Floyd (depending on what day you ask me).

9. My first instrument was the French horn, but I switched a year later to the cornet, and finally made the transition to the trumpet two years later. (The cornet and the trumpet are nearly the same instrument, really, so moving between them is basically a matter of whichever one you happen to pick up at any given moment.) I sucked at the trumpet for about two years, when I then decided that I didn’t want to suck at it anymore, and actually started practicing. I got pretty friggin’ good after that.

10. I really tried to convince myself that I could play jazz well, but I finally had to admit that I just couldn’t. My ear for improv was never more than “slightly better than a rank beginner”, and my temperament was far less to “jamming” than to symphonic playing.

11. With all due respect to Haydn and Hummel, my favorite concerto for the trumpet is Arutunian’s. Of the works I actually got to perform, my favorite trumpet parts were for the opening movement of the Mahler Symphony #5 (we had an outstanding transcription for wind ensemble in college), Hanson’s Symphony #2, Bizet’s suites from Carmen, and “The Trumpet Shall Sound” from Handel’s Messiah. Of the works I never got to perform, my favorite trumpet parts are in Strauss’s Alpensinfonie, Scriabin’s Poem of Ecstasy, Saint-Saens’s “Organ” Symphony, Stravinsky’s Petrouchka, and the last movement of Beethoven’s Ninth.

12. I fell in love with Celtic music during a chance hearing, on NPR, of “Thistle and Shamrock” back in 1990 or so. It really was pure luck.

13. People who look disparagingly at the wind ensemble (or concert band) as a viable music ensemble piss me off. If you’re willing to take string quartets or piano sextets or any other combination of players seriously, then the wind ensemble shouldn’t be off limits to serious musicmaking, either.

14. People who look down at film music also piss me off. Form isn’t the whole ballgame, folks.

15. I hate hate hate hate hate the idea that classical music should be seen as the musical equivalent of caviar, Dom Perignon champagne, or any of the other “finer things” that should only be accessible by the elite who are capable of truly appreciating them. Given the choice between seeing Kleinhans Music Hall half-filled for a Buffalo Philharmonic concert by people in formal wear, and seeing it sold out to people in polo shirts and khakis, I’ll take the latter, every time.

OK, that’s that.

Share This Post

Fifteen Things About Writing

The other day I tackled a Fifteen Things About Books list-thing, and now here’s my take on a supplemental meme offered up by John Scalzi: fifteen things about me and writing. Again, some of this stuff may be familiar to long-term readers of this blog.

(By the way, before I begin, I see that Weirdwriter has collated a bunch of links to posts where other bloggers have completed one or both of these list-memes, here. Check them out. And check out Weirdwriter, too — looks like interesting stuff there, including his own fifteen things about books. There are too many interesting blogs out there — we need to thin the herd, folks! [No, he doesn’t mean that. -Ed.])

OK, writing stuff:

1. Writing’s something I always remember being pretty good at doing, but as a vocational desire, it’s been on again-and-off again. Sometimes I really want to write for a living, but more times I just want to write and have some people read it. The more the better, obviously, but a handful of people who really like what I write are better than lots of people going “Meh” at my stuff.

2. That said, I’d love to be a freelance copywriter. I tried doing this once before, when I was unemployed between getting canned from the telesales job and being hired at The Store, but I didn’t have enough resources to really get the ball rolling on that.

3. My first ever rejection slip was for my story “Graveyard Waltz”, which I wrote back in 1999 or 2000 and eventually posted here after I ran out of markets for it and basically decided that it was too amateurish an effort to be salable anyway. I was actually happy to get that rejection slip, as I took it as a sign that I was “in the game”. (Every subsequent rejection slip I’ve received has pissed me off, except for the very kindly written ones from Black Gate.)

4. In grade school, I tended to love creative writing assignments that allowed lots of latitude and detested ones that were rigidly restricted to a certain theme and subject matter. In recent years, I’ve come to regret blowing off the “Write a story from the point of view of the Thanksgiving turkey” assignment. I really could have amped up the horror quotient on that.

5. My fifth-grade teacher once grouped our class into four or five groups and had us each write a little Christmas play that we then had to perform/read to the class. My group — which included The ever-flammable Mr. Jones — came up with a comedic thing in which Santa is laid out by food poisoning, and thus the delivery of the presents falls to the Elves. The title was, naturally enough, How the Elves Saved Christmas. To this day I’m mystified as to how I avoided getting cast as the fat elf that gets made fun of the whole time. For years after that, I wrote stuff in screenplay format.

6. My writing output during Little Quinn’s lifetime was limited to a couple of very short stories, an article that appeared in The Buffalo News, and my postings here. I’m not entirely sure why that is, because I really do not believe for a second that life with Little Quinn, demanding as it was, really caused my “creative juices” to dry up. Things with him were hard, and everyday life with him was draining, but I think the larger factor there might well have been a combination of sloth and a desire to direct my energies elsewhere. I certainly decided that I care a lot less about getting published than I did before he came (hence the blog-serialization of The Promised King). But I did learn one very important lesson during Little Quinn’s life: brevity in fiction. Before he came, my shortest story came in at something like 7500 words. Since then, I’ve written several very short stories, and I have one that I wrote just last week that’s under 3000 words. I’m not sure if Little Quinn had any kind of causal relationship to my learning how to write short, but that’s when it happened.

7. Yes, I wrote Star Wars fanfic, in the form of screenplays to a series of “films” that took the basic Star Wars story, changed the names and some of the relationships, and told the same tale in the way that I would have told it. I still read that stuff with some affection. (Not so all the cross-over mash-up stuff we’d write in school, wherein James Bond and Indiana Jones would fight side-by-side against some Blofeld-style villain whose plots made no sense at all.)

8. I really do prefer writing fiction in longhand first, before I type it. I type fairly quickly, and longhand really slows the process down so I can think about what I’m writing.

9. Thanks to Stephen King’s On Writing, I harbor an irrational hatred of adverbs and I almost never use any verb of dialogue attribution other than “said”.

10. I have absolutely no interest in attending something like Clarion or a writing workshop. I have this pigheaded insistence on trusting my own instincts when writing, and not trying to tailor things for a specific audience.

11. I tend to be fairly brutal on my own writing when I’m editing drafts. Here’s a photo of two current manuscripts of mine to illustrate. On the left is a page of the current short story, and on the left is a rare attempt at poetry. Note all the red ink — those are my annotations, edits, and notes for revision.

12. I first heard the words “Show, don’t tell” in eleventh grade. I always had a hard time with this, because there’s a fine line between giving too much detail and not enough, and besides, sometimes telling is just fine if you can do it artfully enough.

13. Take it from me: grade school teachers tend to be less than receptive to a satirical approach to their writing assignments.

14. When I’m writing at the desk, my time tends to break down as one-third actual writing, one-third daydreaming whilst listening to the music on the headphones, and one-third reading something.

15. I used to be really bothered by people who can’t write to save their lives, but more recently I’ve come to see writing as a skill that people either have or don’t have, kind of like carpentry or piano-playing. I can write, but I can’t draw to save my life. Some people are the exact opposite. And some people, damn their souls for all Eternity, can do both.

OK, that’s it.

Share This Post