When Santa cracks open a cold one

Boy, I’ll bet Santa gets really tired this time of year! I envision him getting home after flying all over the world and just staggering into the bedroom, grumbling something guttural at Mrs. Claus, collapsing into his recliner, accepting a spiked beverage of some sort from his personal elf, and then flipping on his TV to watch whatever it is that Santa watches. Elf porn, maybe. Or football.

Anyway, Christmas was a very nice affair here at Casa Jaquandor. I gave The Wife several books, a couple of DVDs, the new Loreena McKennitt CD, and a few other cool things; she gave me a new Henley shirt (I love Henleys, and my older ones are getting seriously ratty, thus requiring an upgrade over the last few months), a gift card to Borders, a set of utensils for making and consuming sushi (now I gotta learn to make sushi!), and a couple other items. The Daughter, of course, cleaned up: a toy puppy that wags its tail and actually licks you, one of those GigaPet games, a couple of board games, a few books, and so on.

Christmas dinner was a pork tenderloin on which I applied some kind of rub before we roasted it, scalloped corn, acorn squash (baked in a mixture of maple syrup and some other stuff), and the requisite rolls and biscuits.

Oh, and the new computer? It rocks. For a time yesterday I shut the world out, by watching parts of Revenge of the Sith on my computer screen. Life can not conceivably get any better!

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Someone is coming….

It’s time to sign off for the Holy Day, the Mass of the Christ, and so on. We’re snow-free in Buffalo, believe it or not. But so what? They’re snow-free in Phoenix, AZ, and yet they celebrate Christmas there, too. Stuff before I depart:

:: This is also an end of sorts for an old and trusty friend. The computer on which I have written every post thus far of this blog has been showing its age for quite some time now, and the time for replacement is at hand, with said replacement coming via the generosity of my parents, who would have to both live to the age of 189 if I was to ever completely repay the things they’ve given me, both tangible and not, over the years. The old computer, a HP Pavilion, made its debut in our home in late 2001, before this blog even launched. Five years later, it still works OK, although with creaks and whines on occasion. It no longer plays The Daughter’s games on CD-ROM, unfortunately, and it freezes up on occasion requiring a cold boot. But I’ll miss this durable machine, even as I launch the new one. Five years on one computer? Who does that? So anyway, one additional reason I’ve had so little time for posting lately is the preparation work for the new machine — making backup CDs of all the data from the old computer so I can migrate all our documents and photos, downloading the latest versions of Firefox, OpenOffice, and various other programs that we use so I can load them right onto the new machine.

So, anyway, when next I post — probably Tuesday or Wednesday, if all goes according to plan — it’ll be on the new computer.

:: We put our Christmas tree up very late this year. It went up Friday night. It would have gone up a week or two previous, but at one point in mid-December The Wife and The Daughter both suffered colds that made anything more ambitious than ladeling soup down their throats unpalatable. Both mended just fine, though.

As for the tree, I’ll put some photos of it up at some point (maybe), but remember that last year I posted some photos of our most beloved Christmas ornaments, here, here and here.

:: Here’s a nice bit of Christian perspective.

:: Shamus’s DM of the Rings comic takes a strange turn.

:: ABC had The Sound of Music on last night, and The Daughter insisted on watching the first hour or so, which was fine by me, even though I can’t imagine why networks will show their own series in Widescreen formats but not a friggin’ movie. Nope, we got pan-and-scan Sound of Music, which always disappoints.

By the way, from watching this movie, I always thought that the word for “a girl who’s just entered the convent” is “postulate”, which I found baffling since in a geometry and logic context, “postulate” means something completely different. Then a few weeks ago I’m reading a newspaper article about the declining number of nuns in the Catholic Church, and I discovered that I’ve been mis-hearing the word “postulant” all these years.

:: Our Christmas dinner this year will be a pork tenderloin (not sure how we’ll season it), scalloped corn, an acorn squash (I’m slowly coming to accept the squash as something that doesn’t taste bad), crescent rolls, and biscuits. In case anyone was wondering.

:: Finally, here’s a poem I offered last year at this time. It’s one of my favorite works of Christmas literature.

“Noel: Christmas Eve 1913”, by Robert Bridges (1844-1930).

A frosty Christmas Eve when the stars were shining
Fared I forth alone where westward falls the hill,
And from many a village in the water’d valley
Distant music reach’d me peals of bells aringing:
The constellated sounds ran sprinkling on earth’s floor
As the dark vault above with stars was spangled o’er.
Then sped my thoughts to keep that first Christmas of all
When the shepherds watching by their folds ere the dawn
Heard music in the fields and marvelling could not tell
Whether it were angels or the bright stars singing.
Now blessed be the towers that crown England so fair
That stand up strong in prayer unto God for our souls
Blessed be their founders (said I) an’ our country folk
Who are ringing for Christ in the belfries tonight
With arms lifted to clutch the rattling ropes that race
Into the dark above and the mad romping din.
But to me heard afar it was starry music
Angels’ song, comforting as the comfort of Christ
When he spake tenderley to his sorrowful flock:
The old words came to me by the riches of time
Mellow’d and transfigured as I stood on the hill
Heark’ning in the aspect of th’ eternal silence.

Peace

May you all know peace and love on this Christmas Day, and all the days to come.

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Sunday Burst of Weirdness

Not all weird stuff, actually, but something of a grab bag of niftiness:

:: From the Beeb comes 100 Things We Didn’t Know Last Year. We now know that sex is a fairly dangerous activity for giant squid, that you’re significantly more likely to be bitten by a human than by a rat, what the most frequently misspelled word in the English language is, and something about the linguistic capabilities of baboons, among other things. Check it out.

:: I may have missed it on Dr. Myers’s blog, but Japanese researchers actually have video of the capture of a giant squid. The deep-water shots of the giant squid being baited that they got a few years back were cool enough, but this is astounding. (Anybody speak Japanese? And do Japanese newscasts really use cheesy music in the middle of their stories like that?)

:: I’ve probably linked this or something like it before, but if you like your gods old — I mean, impossibly ancient and cosmic in their powers — then what are you doing celebrating Christmas, when you can be celebrating the Winter Solstice properly, by honoring Cthulhu, complete with carols for the Old Ones like “I’m Dreaming of a Dead City” and “Do You Fear What I Fear”!

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Why can’t cars just be fueled by hot air?

This afternoon I got annoyed while trying to buy gas, and slipped out with a string of salty words. With The Daughter in the back seat. I hate when I do that, and I’m trying to break that habit immediately. (I apologized to her seconds later.) I was angry that I’d been cut off in the line for the pumps (not huge lines, just two or three cars deep), and I ended up going somewhere else. But as I drove away, I thought about what had happened, and I realized that it wasn’t at all the fault of the motorist who’d pissed me off. It was the gas station’s fault.

Here, via Google Maps, is the gas station in question:

Beneath that canopy are four sets of pumps, for eight pumps total, so you have room for four cars gassing up to either side of the cashier’s booth, which is in the middle of the whole operation. I guess we’re all familiar with the basic concept of the gas station, right? Pumps that dispense from the right and others that dispense from the left, to be used by motorists depending on what side of the car their gas port is on? OK.

The problem here is that this gas station is surrounded by parking lot, which means that there is no set way for cars to approach the pumps. Assuming the top is “north” (actually, it’s more northwest, but we’ll call it north to save time), cars pulling in via the driveway just to the east there should come about and approach the station from the south, and thus queue up depending on what side of the car they fuel on. But at this station, alone of every gas station I ever use in this area with any frequency, nobody does that.

Here’s a rough diagram:

NORTH
1 -|- 2 3 -|- 4
——–cash——–
5 -|- 6 7 -|- 8

The numbers indicate pumps.

Today, I pulled in to get gas. My car fuels from the passenger side, so I took stock of the situation. You’d think that I would come down that driveway, swing around to face north, and then pull into an appropriate pump — in my diagram, one of the odd-numbered pumps — to either side of the cashier booth, still facing north.

Alas, this was impossible. I’m sitting south of this whole mess, down below pumps 5, 6, 7, and 8. The car at pump 3 is facing north, fueling from his passenger side. OK. But the car at pump 7 is facing south — i.e., facing me — fueling from his driver side. So I can’t really pull up to pump 7 as if lining up, because to do so will block that motorist’s exit. And at pumps 1 and 5, both cars are facing south, fueling from their driver sides. At pumps 4 and 8, the cars there are actually facing each other — pump 8 is facing north, pump 4 is facing south — so again I can’t just queue up there in the wrong direction either. Pump 6 was actually vacant, but someone at pump 2 was facing south, so even if I’d back into pump 6 to fuel from my passenger side, I’d be blocking that guy when he tried to exit.

And it’s at this point that someone else comes in behind me, swings around, and queues up behind the south-facing guy at pump 1 — which would mean that if I backed into pump 6, the guy at pump 2 wouldn’t be able to move until either I or the new guy lining up in the wrong way moved forward.

Adding to all this confusion is that the driveway isn’t even the only way to enter the gas station area — it’s situated in an outlying parcel of a large strip plaza, so cars are always coming not just from that driveway but from the other three or four possible directions as well. At non-busy periods, this usually isn’t a problem, but on busy days it’s quite the bungle of traffic as people basically take the “Look out for number one” approach to getting to these particular pumps.

It doesn’t have to be this way, obviously. Here’s the other gas station I tend to frequent regularly:

Here, the pumps are under that long canopy directly south of that blue-roofed building at top. (That’s the convenience store, and that long building running north-south over to the right is a carwash.) Here, cars enter the operation from the south, and as can be seen, there just isn’t room for them to swing about the north and come at the pumps from the opposite side. Here, everybody queues up to enter the pumps from the same side, exits from the same side, and everybody’s happy. (In a particularly ingenious stroke, this station recently made their turnover at the pumps even quicker by installing this super-long hoses that will reach either side of your car no matter which pump you use, meaning that unless you’re driving a Hummer with a pumped-up chassis, you can run the hose to the opposite side of your car if you have to.)

This isn’t difficult stuff here, folks. The main idea behind channeling large amounts of people through a limited service space is pretty simple: clearly mark where they’re supposed to go, and in what direction, and you won’t have big problems. The fact that the gas station that frustrated me today (as it often does) is operated by one of Buffalo’s main grocery store chains (not mine, though!) makes their half-assed operation all the more baffling. These folks know better.

OK, end of rant.

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Has anyone seen my senses?

For reasons quite easy to understand, I went out shopping last night and today.

Oy.

It actually wasn’t that bad. The trick is to know what you’re getting into. If one simply accepts, even as one sets out to pick up those last two or three gifts, that the excursion will end up taking three hours (when the exact same trip performed on, say, a Tuesday in March would take ninety minutes), one will do just fine. And I find that for the most part people are being fairly pleasant, amongst the crush of people. I just keep trying to be observant, get out of their way when they’re obviously looking for something, and so on. It’s not that hard to stay pleasant even while fighting the Crowds of Christmas. I’ve come to realize that there’s an extent to which it’s true that we can influence our own moods and such, so rather than see all the other people around as annoyances and obstacles, I choose to see them as people who are racing against the clock to buy nice stuff for the people they love. So why be a prick about it?

A few notes from the shopping front today and last night:

:: Isn’t it great when stuff’s on sale that isn’t marked as being on sale? It’s cool to see the sum at the register turn out to be ten bucks less than the mental tally you’ve been keeping in your head. I love that.

:: Exception to the above thing about Christmas shoppers really being nice people: The woman who checked out in front of me at Target last night was so engrossed in her friggin’ cell phone conversation that she took forever to gather up her bags while I was cashing out myself. In fact, she lingered so long that she actually picked up my bag, prompting the lovely cashier to yell out, “Hey, that’s not your bag!” The lady just looked, shrugged, and plunked my bag back down, without even breaking her conversation long enough to apologize.

So yeah, don’t tell me that yakking on a cell phone while driving is some holy right that the government shouldn’t be legislating away.

:: Buffalo readers: if you’re generally of the anti-Walmart stance, and you’re not doing part of your Christmas shopping in East Aurora, then it’s time you started. It’s precisely the kind of small-town retail environment that the anti-Walmart crowd is always waxing rhapsodic about. And it isn’t just Vidler’s, either. I just love East Aurora. It is, to me, what the Elmwood strip is to the Buffalo Rising crowd. And frankly, it’s the kind of thing about our whole region that we should be advertising all over the Great Lakes region. Small-town shopping districts like East Aurora’s are wonderful, magical places. East Aurora should be the Northeast’s answer to Galena, Illinois. (And if you haven’t been to Galena, what are you waiting for? It’s only a twelve hour drive from Buffalo, right down US 20! Go!)

:: Also Buffalo readers: if you, or anyone you know, wears workwear (like Carhartt) or a medical uniform (nursing scrubs or chef coats) on a regular basis, the Work’n Gear location on Walden Ave on Cheektowaga is closing and is thus marking everything down like crazy. (Yes, I’ve already cleaned them out on overalls in my size. Well, not the Carhartts. Carhartt stuff is way more expensive than I can afford, even at twenty percent off, which is kind of a bummer because those dark green ones look kinda cool.)

:: No snow. Ugh!

:: From the “Keep your voice down, dear” department: a guy was exiting Target last night with his wife, some kind of large piece of electronica — a big TV, perhaps — on a flatbed cart, promising his wife how he’d demonstrate his gratitude that she’d finally let him get the gizmo he wanted. Let’s just say that if certain things either work or don’t work in the way they’re intended, this fellow may be getting another big present in late August or September.

:: I used to do my Christmas shopping early. Like, October. I’d get the main things I wanted to give people then, and use the “real” shopping season to get little things to fine-tune Christmas the way I wanted. This year, I went with the “Shop at the last possible second” approach. I don’t recommend this. Next year, I’m back to doing it early.

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The candle still burns

The Cosmos is all that is or ever was or ever will be. Our feeblest contemplations of the Cosmos stir us — there is a tingling in the spine, a catch in the voice, a faint sensation, as if a distant memory, of falling from a great height. We know we are approaching the greatest of mysteries.

Carl Sagan died ten years ago today. Many famous people have died over my lifetime, but Sagan’s passing is the only one that I really, truly mourned. Every single news story I read about the latest photographs from the Mars rovers or the Cassini probe makes me wish he was still here, that great popularizer of science who doggedly continued to labor in planetary astronomy when everyone said that the real interesting stuff was in the stars, not in the planets.

I was nine years old when I first encountered Sagan, as his landmark PBS miniseries Cosmos debuted. My fourth-grade teacher had a poster for it and everything. I was the “science geek” of the class, so of course I watched the show — but so did a number of friends of mine, including one kid who lived on a farm. Being nine, we didn’t understand much of what the show was about. I expected a show about space, maybe a planetarium-type of exposition on PBS, so I was confused by all the biology and history. But there was something compelling about it anyway — Sagan’s voice, for one thing, which I always found very charismatic, and the writing, which was rich in poetry.

In Cosmos, I learned for the first time of a thing called “evolution”. I learned about Mars, of the likelihood of extraterrestrial life, of the nuclear threat. I learned of skepticism, and for the one kid in the class who didn’t groan when the teacher said “Take your science books out”, I thrilled to hear science described not as a subject but as a tool, and the “best tool we have”. And as a nine-year-old, I was thrilled to learn that the word “Googol”, naming the number identified by a 1 followed by one hundred zeroes, had been coined by another nine-year-old.

No, I didn’t understand much of Cosmos, even though I owned a copy of the book (my parents advanced me two months’ allowance to buy it).

Even today, I’m stopped on the street or on an airplace or at a party and asked, a little shyly, if I wouldn’t — just for them — say “billions and billions”.

“You know, I didn’t actually say it,” I tell them.

“It’s okay,” they reply. “Say it anyway.”

For a while, out of childish pique, I wouldn’t utter or write the phrase, even when asked to. But I’ve gotten over that. So, for the record, here goes:

“Billions and billions.”

During my college years, we had a thing called May Term. This was a shortened “third semester” during which students took a single course over a four-week period. During my freshman year May Term, I took astronomy as a science elective. Alas, my professor wasn’t nearly as interesting a speaker as Carl Sagan — he had a high-pitched, nasal voice and said “ummm” a lot — and the class was actually held in the school planetarium (a room whose existence was the school’s best-kept secret). So there we were, in a dark room sitting in seats that reclined back to 45 degrees, listening to a prof with a droning, high-pitched voice. Little wonder that the friend with whom I took the class traded off with me on “snore patrol”. It wasn’t a bad class, though, and the lab portions, involving stargazing at night, were a lot of fun. And I spent my afternoons reading Cosmos. A year later, while taking some other course during May Term, I watched the entire Cosmos TV series on the VCR. The tiny video store up at the corner actually had them all on their rental shelves.

Some years later, after I graduated, I learned that Sagan had written something of a “sequel” to Cosmos. I bought Pale Blue Dot the second I saw it in the bookstore, and read it almost immediately. A few years after that, I bought The Demon-haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark, and read it almost immediately. I remember seeing Sagan on Nightline, in which he reacted to something that was in the news from the world of astronomy, and in which he noted that he’d come through his recent illness fairly well, and that he hoped that a new period of increased funding for basic scientific research was in the offing.

Some time after that — I don’t recall how much — my mother told me that Carl Sagan had died.

I don’t know to what extent ignorance of science and mathematics contributed to the decline of ancient Athens, but I know that the consequences of scientific illiteracy are far more dangerous in our time than in any that has come before.

Obviously I never went into a life of science. I studied music and philosophy, on my way to working in restaurant management, a brief stop in sales, and finally retail maintenance (whilst always writing). Carl Sagan’s influence in my life is one of attitude: skepticism coupled with enormous wonder, and the certainty that science is absolutely essential to understanding the universe and our place within it. From Carl Sagan I learned that the Universe — the Cosmos — is a place of wonder and beauty and amazement. I think of his work often, when I look on the stars or read about the planets. When I read Kim Stanley Robinson’s Mars trilogy, I detected Sagan’s influence there as well. As Sagan wrote in Cosmos:

The power of [Percival] Lowell’s idea may, just possibly, make it a kind of premonition. His canal network was built by Martians. Even this may be an accurate prophecy: If the planet is ever terraformed, it will be done by human beings whose permanent residence and planetary affiliation is Mars. The Martians will be us.

Earlier in that same chapter, Sagan relates the sad story of a friend of his, a scientist named Wolf Vishniac, who developed an experiment for the Viking lander that would test for the presence of microbes in the Martian soil. Vishniac’s experiment was eliminated in a cost-cutting gesture, and then Vishniac himself died while on a scientific expedition to Antarctica. Later, Robinson featured the Martian crater named for Vishniac in his epic trilogy.

Perhaps one day our descendants will stand beside the waters of a Lake Sagan on a planet in some other star system, and perhaps they’ll wonder about the writer whose every word glowed with the hope that one day we’d be out there, if we survived our technological adolescence. I hope so, too.

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.

We have heard so far the voice of life on one small world only. But we have at last begun to listen for other voices in the cosmic fugue.

Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every yougn couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar”, every “supreme leader”, every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there — on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.

For we are the local embodiment of a Cosmos grown to self-awareness. We have begun to contemplate our origins: starstuff pondering the stars; organized assemblages of ten billion billion billion atoms considering the evolution of atoms; tracing the long journey by which, here at least, consciousness arose. Our loyalties are to the species and the planet. We speak for Earth. Our obligation to survive is owed not just to ourselves but also to that Cosmos, ancient and vast, from which we spring.

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Christmas in Blogistan!

I’m going to invent a game here, or a blog-meme, or some such thing. Basically, I’m going to pick a bunch of bloggers at random — some from my blogroll, some not — and describe what I’d give them for their ideal Christmas present, based on what I’ve read from them in the past. OK? OK!

:: For Lynn Sislo: I will chain Joss Whedon in her basement for one year, wherein she can extract from him as many Firefly tales as his brain will produce under durress.

:: For Sean: I will arrange for Tom Brady to visit him so they can toss the ole pigskin back and forth in Sean’s backyard for a while, not unlike that episode of The Brady Bunch in which Jow Namath visits Bobby. (I will also arrange for Tom’s ACL to rupture while at Sean’s house, thus earning him the eternal enmity of StuPat fans worldwide. Heh!)

:: For Alan: I will arrange for one leg of The Amazing Race to end on the Buffalo waterfront, where Alan will get to be the person standing next to Phil and say “Welcome to Buffalo”. (Sadly, Alan will be driven from town on a rail when he slips and says to one team, “Welcome to Clarence.”)

:: For Mrs. M-Mv: A full-size semi truck loaded with wood planks and cinder blocks, for the construction of ad hoc bookshelves. Oh, and a First Folio.

:: For John Scalzi, a cybernetic brain implant that will track his Amazon sales rankings in realtime. Oh, and a fuzzy kitten which he will name “Phluphie”.

:: For Scotty, one of these.

:: For Lynda, round-trip air tickets to the destination of her choice, anywhere in the world. Oh, and a Boston Creme pie.

:: For my readers: my gratitude for the patience of when I get into political moods, or for when I go off on a Star Wars obsession, or when I indulge myself in obscure jokes that nobody but me gets and I don’t realize it until I’m the only one laughing.

:: For all of Buffalo, this in June 2007, followed by this in February 2008.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

(If I didn’t list you, it’s because I don’t have room to list everybody, I couldn’t think of what to get you, and you’d probably exchange it anyway.)

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Royale with Cheese

On Thanksgiving Night, the Wife and I got to go see Casino Royale. Now, almost four weeks later, I guess it’s time for me to say what I thought of the movie.

It’s really good.

Next!

OK, I’ll say more than that. Be aware, though, that I make no effort to avoid spoilers for the movie in this post. Yup, I’m gonna post me some spoilers. You have been warned. About the spoilers.

How good is Casino Royale? I’ve only seen it once, but I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and it very likely is the best Bond film in years. In fact, it seems to me to be able to crack my personal top five (which does not include Goldfinger). Over and above the film’s status as a “relaunch” of the whole Bond franchise, making the character a rookie who still has to earn his chops, it’s just a very well-made film. It’s well shot, well acted, well written, and well scored. The Bond series isn’t usually where one goes to see really good filmmaking in action, for the most part, but this one really clicks.

So what of the story?

I found it both maddening and fulfilling at the same time. Part of this is, no doubt, to the fact that the film plays with the conventions of the Bond series without totally embracing them, and thus the film is quite good at confounding expectations. Things happen in this movie that you don’t expect in a James Bond flick. In one brutal scene, Bond gets tortured. Shown as a fairly green agent, Bond makes mistakes and acts impulsively. We see Bond in over his head; we see him at times surviving various predicaments out of almost literal sheer luck; we see Bond unsure of himself and of his abilities.

That’s what makes the film’s ending so perfect. It’s the second Bond film to not end with 007 making love to the woman (one of many marks of quality Casino shares with the great OHMSS), but interestingly, as the film ends, Bond’s mission isn’t even over. That, I thought, was a pretty brazen bit of storytelling. There’s no final confrontation here with the villain; instead, we see Bond tracking down yet another name in the long chain of villains he’s been pursuing all through the film, and after shooting the man in the foot, Bond looms over him, rifle in hand, smiles, and introduces himself: “The name is Bond. James Bond.” Smash cut to the end credits, with those famous brass chords from the James Bond Theme blasting forth.

I can recall few films that have ended with so perfect a final shot. In that moment, a guy named James Bond becomes James Bond. And that’s what the film was about in the first place. Daniel Craig didn’t have to have the gravitas of a Bond actor through most of the film, because the film’s very story is about how he earned that gravitas in the first place.

Now, there are some narrative gaps in the film’s logic. The way things unfold after Bond is captured by LeChifre isn’t entirely clear, and it’s a bit unsettling that this is the second consecutive Bond film where a key plot point involves the failure of the powers-that-be at MI6 to do their homework on one of their own people. The Venice sequence is hard to follow as well (I wasn’t sure just why that building collapsed). But the sudden murder of Le Chiffre, whom we’ve assumed was the main villain in the classic Bondian sense, with a half hour left in the film was a nicely unsettling touch. Suddenly the audience is thrown into a position of being as ignorant as Bond, and watching Bond slowly catch up with the situation gives the last all of its tension as we realize that Bond has been betrayed, and just who the betrayer is.

I read the book of Casino Royale years ago, but I was able to note a lot of material in the film that was straight out of the book — the way Bond names a drink after Vesper, the way Bond’s mission appears doomed until a CIA agent named Felix Leiter introduces himself at the right moment, and the fact that Bond is betrayed by the woman with whom he’s fallen in love.

So where does Bond go from here? I’m wondering what the producers have in mind for the follow-up. Since the character has been relaunched, perhaps they could actually remake all of the original films, updating the stories to the present day. One thing’s for sure: as much as I think that Casino Royale has breathed new life into James Bond, I hope we don’t see a return to villains plotting to destroy the world anytime soon.

Welcome back, Mr. Bond. It’s good to see you again.

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Sentential Links #79

This will probably be the last installment of Sentential Links for 2006, as Christmas Day and New Years both fall on Mondays, and since my computer time will be sporadic at best over the next couple of weeks. (Although I do reserve the right to do a special edition or some such thing.)

Click away, folks!

:: My grandparents were very proud to be able to buy us all a steak dinner – something we could never afford.

However, this was a CHINESE FOOD restaurant. (Aieee!)

:: But in the end, most small presses have one very important thing in common with most big publishers:

They are out to make a buck. (This is part one in a series of lengthy posts about Colleen Doran’s experiences in the small-press comics world. Which reminds me that I need to get off my ass and finish reading A Distant Soil one of these days. At least, the first three volumes, at any rate.)

:: But these dreams lately have been weird. No, I’m not going to describe them. If I put them into words and posted them on the internet, it would just lead everyone to try to figure out what they mean, and I think that’s crap. (Heh. Drew’s blogging again. No one escapes Blogistan unless Blogistan wants them to escape!)

:: Two thirds of arguments, I think, could be boiled down to this final exchange.

“Was this really the best you could do?”
“Yes.”
“Then okay.”

:: It just appears to me that too many folks view heaven as nothing more than an adult-rated Romper Room.

:: I woke up yesterday morning with what can only be a sugar hangover. (Tell me about it. This year I’ve added a second pancreas.)

:: One of the small pleasures of doing customer service this time of year is answering the hundreds of customer e-mails that pour in – especially at the last minute from panicking people who are desperate that their attentions are seen to. (SDB linked this one. It’s worth nothing just for the stuff about when your credit card is denied: the retailer or restaurant or other business you’re transacting with is not told why your card is denied. The little machine doesn’t flash a message at us saying something like, “Holy shit, this guy is already $300 over his limit and hasn’t made a payment in months! Don’t take his card!” It just says, “Card denied” or “Transaction not approved” or something like that. This is one of those “Don’t shoot the messenger” moments.)

:: Dr. Joshua Coleman has discovered the way to improve a couples’ sex life and all the world is on the edge of their seat in anticipation to learn about his amazing new discovery… (Turns out the answer does not involve Cool Whip, so I can’t say I’m terribly interested. Feh!)

:: I saw a perfect description of the patriarchy while I was at Dickens Faire last week.

:: And Stephen Hawking agrees with me. So there.

:: As for me, I will no longer support him in any way. I’m going home tonight and I’m removing every Michael Crichton book from my library. (Thankfully, I’ve never read any Crichton.)

:: Architects who design bathrooms with two doors should be dragged out into the street and shot. (Huh? Two doors? Who the hell does this?!)

:: I realize, as this guy is whipping Daniel Craig’s crotch with tarred rope, that this is the Royal Premiere. That right now the Queen of England is watching Daniel Craig get whipped in the balls. (I can’t remember if I linked this before, but it’s worth revisiting.)

:: I would just like to take a moment to express my surprise and pleasure at being selected Time’s Man of the Year. (Me too!)

OK, there may be an installment of Sentential Links next week after all. It’s just too enjoyable a time, gathering them all. We’ll see.

Warp speed!

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A football addendum

Two things about yesterday’s football post:

:: In comments, a reader asks why I think NFL referee Ed Hochuli is biased against the Bills. Actually, I don’t really think that; Hochuli’s is the only name I could think of when writing that post, and I didn’t feel like Googling some other ref. I was joking about how Bills fans tend to get really incensed about bad calls against the Bills; however, having only really been around Bills fans, I can’t say if the same phenomenon exists among all NFL fandoms.

But I do think that the NFL refs should be full-time, and they should be very rigorously trained. There are enough bad calls on a frequent enough basis that the officiating needs some upgrading.

:: I griped a bit about the Football Outsiders website, whose editorial stance seems to be to say nothing about JP Losman unless it’s negative. Today’s a good case in point. From today’s Audibles at the Line column, here’s the total of what the FO.com folks have to say about yesterday’s Bills-Dolphins game:

Doug Farrar: Well, you have J.P. Losman and his weekly 90-yard bomb to Lee Evans. His first half against Miami: Five completions, 105 yards. Passes of 37, 33 and 28 yards to Evans and Robert Royal.

Michael David Smith: Jason Taylor is looking great as usual. Is that guy ever going to get old?

That’s it. That’s all they say about that game. Nothing about the progress of a Bills offense that is producing consistent scoring drives. Nothing about the Bills’ defense throwing its first shutout in over two years. And for that matter, they leave something out in that summation of Losman’s first half: Five completions, out of only eight attempts. It’s not like he went 5 of 19 in the first half; he went 5 of 8, and finished the game with a very respectable line of 13 completions, 19 attempts, 200 yards, 3 TDs, and zero INTs.

It seems that if Losman has a good game, the FO.com folks will either (a) completely ignore it, or (b) mention it in a way that makes it sound like he mainly sucked and just got lucky on a handful of plays.

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