Colin Cowherd is a giant doodie-head.

I was listening to WGR, the local sports-radio talk station, on my way to work this morning, because WNED was playing some baroque thing that I didn’t want to listen to. (Probably Vivaldi.) Sometimes WGR likes to promote their programming by airing small snippets, a minute or less, from something said on one of their shows the day or two before. This morning, they played a clip of Colin Cowherd, the guy who is on from 10:00 to noon, the slot vacated some years ago on the ESPN Radio network by Tony Cornhiser.

I’ll be honest: I can’t stand Colin Cowherd. I hate his voice, he has a bizarre man-crush on Tom Brady, and he generally fills his airtime with one stupid utterance after another. The clip WGR played this morning was a case in point. He was apparently referring to a suggestion (made by whom, I don’t know) that the NFL set aside its local teevee blackout rules this season, as several teams are apparently in serious trouble with regard to selling out their stadiums. The franchises he named at Jacksonville and San Diego. Cowherd indicated that he’s not inclined to support such a rules change, since smaller towns, like Buffalo, manage to support their teams by selling out all the time.

Setting aside the issue of whether it makes sense for the Bills, seemingly hopelessly mired in mediocrity for a decade, are selling as many season tickets right now as they did when they were the AFC’s best team and going to the Super Bowl every year, it might have been nice to hear Cowherd saying something positive about Buffalo — but then he proceeded to crap all over it, noting that football is all there is to do in Buffalo since our weather is awful (it isn’t, but good luck telling him that) and…

…wait for it…

…that Buffalo is…

…(I couldn’t believe my ears)

…geographically isolated.

Yes. Colin Cowherd said that Buffalo is “geographically isolated”, whereas San Diego is not because it’s close to LA and Las Vegas.

Well.

According to this site, it is 130 miles from San Diego to LA and 340 miles to Las Vegas. So, for Buffalo to be “geographically isolated”, all other destinations of note would have to be quite a lot farther away from Buffalo than LA and/or Vegas are from San Diego. Right? Well, to me, if you can drive someplace in less than eight hours, you can consider yourself un-isolated from that particular destination. Assuming 70 miles an hour, here are some places within eight hours of Buffalo by car:

So, Buffalo to Chicago: 540 miles.
Buffalo to Indianapolis: 510 miles.
Buffalo to Boston: 470 miles.
Buffalo to Washington, DC: 410 miles.
Buffalo to New York City: 370 miles.
Buffalo to Detroit: 360 miles.
Buffalo to Philadelphia: 360 miles.
Buffalo to Pittsburgh: 220 miles.
Buffalo to Cleveland: 190 miles.

And, of course, Buffalo to Toronto is about a hundred miles.

Yeah, Colin. Buffalo is totally isolated. Look at a map next time, doofus.

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