It’s a Feline World

All the genetic research these days is fascinating. The implications are huge for things like when they identify the gene that makes people more prone to cancer and whatnot. But what I really want them to isolate is the gene that makes cats beg to go outside, so they can merely walk out, sniff the air, and come right back in. Or the gene that makes cats observe any object being placed on a floor, chair or bed, and deciding, “I’m going to lay down on that.” Or the gene that allows cats to sleep through all manner of incredibly loud noises, with the sole exception of the vacuum cleaner, which terrifies them utterly. Or the gene that makes cats carefully analyze the situation each time they want to make the roughly two-foot jump (total distance, that) from the floor onto my lap, when they can jump up heights of four feet or more without stopping to think about it at all in other circumstances. Or the gene that makes a cat walk across my lap, left-to-right, then back again right-to-left, and then left-to-right again, and so on until, having made at least four complete circumnavigations of my lap, deciding to lay down.