Film Quote Friday

The first time I realized that there was something of a ‘geek subculture’ was when the movie TRON came out. The big ‘tentpole’ movies of geekdom — Star Wars, Superman, The Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark, ET — everybody saw those. Not so much with TRON, which was pretty much ignored that year, except by me; I saw it and assumed that everyone else did, too. But when I mentioned it to classmates, not one of them had bothered. They had all assumed it was just a piece of, well, geek fluff.

TRON isn’t a perfect movie, but it’s a fun one, and it’s deeply imaginative in its depiction of ‘the world inside the computer’, where programs take on the personalities of their ‘Users’. For all the ballyhooed use of computer graphics in its effects, the film’s production design is surprisingly old-school, using photographic effects of the time, but there is still a lot of amazing eye-candy in the movie. (And the lightcycle sequence is, for my money, one of the iconic action sequences of the period.)

Early in the film, a program from an accounting firm is being escorted into the Game Grid, which is where programs are gathered and forced to engage in forms of cyber-gladiator games. Here we meet Crom, a program who won’t be around much, because he’s doughy and nerdy and….

Crom: Look. This… is all a mistake. I’m just a compound interest program. I work at a savings and loan! I can’t play these video games!

Guard: Sure you can, pal. Look like a natural athlete if I ever saw one.

Crom: Who, me? Are you kidding? No, I run out to check on T-bill rates, I get outta breath. Hey, look, you guys are gonna make my user, Mr. Henderson, very angry. He’s a full-branch manager.

Guard: Great. Another religious nut.

It interests me that belief in the Users is portrayed amongst the bad guys as a strange religion, but that’s the way it had to have started, right? The Master Control Program didn’t always exist. I wouldn’t mind knowing the story of its rise to power…but that’ll be a thought for another day. Anyway, I’m glad that over the years, TRON has been embraced more than it was back in 1982. But I’m also glad that I was on board at the beginning.

Greetings, Programs!

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Film Quote Friday

With new trailers for the new James Bond movie Skyfall hitting the Interweb this week, I turn my thoughts back a few years to Daniel Craig’s first outing as Bond, Casino Royale.

CR was extremely well made, and with all extremely well-made movies, it started with a very intelligent script that made its world seem downright real. Two examples of the movie’s smart dialogue:

Early in the film, after James Bond (who, in CR, is a newly-minted Double-O agent) has had a mission go slightly awry (to the tune of an international incident), M (Dame Judy Dench) storms out of a meeting with Parliament or the Prime Minister or some such and unleashes this rant:

Who the hell do they think they are? I report to the Prime Minister and even he’s smart enough not to ask me what we do. Have you ever seen such a bunch of self-righteous, ass-covering prigs? They don’t care what we do; they care what we get photographed doing. And how the hell could Bond be so stupid? I give him double-O status and he celebrates by shooting up an embassy. Is the man deranged? And where the hell is he? In the old days if an agent did something that embarrassing he’d have a good sense to defect. Christ, I miss the Cold War.

That bit about missing the Cold War is pretty funny; from a spy’s perspective, it probably is preferable to have a single, unflinching enemy. I’m reminded of an installment of the “Wayne’s World” skit on Saturday Night Live years ago, when Wayne and Garth ticked down some reasons why it sucks that the Cold War ended. One of the items is “Spy stuff is less interesting”, or as Garth puts it, “Yeah! Like who’s James Bond gonna spy on, the Guatemalans?!”

Back to Casino Royale. Later in the film, after M decides to put Bond into a high-stakes poker game against a guy who is financing terrorists, in hopes of finding out who he is bankrolling. Bond’s poker playing is funded by the British government, whose representative is the stunning Vesper Lynd (Eva Green). Bond and Vesper meet on the Orient Express, over dinner.

Vesper Lynd: [after discussing poker skills on the train] What else can you surmise, Mr. Bond?

James Bond: About you, Miss Lynd? Well, your beauty’s a problem. You worry you won’t be taken seriously.

Vesper Lynd: Which one can say of any attractive woman with half a brain.

James Bond: True. But this one overcompensates by wearing slightly masculine clothing. Being more aggressive than her female colleagues. Which gives her a somewhat *prickly* demeanor, and ironically enough, makes it less likely for her to be accepted and promoted by her male superiors, who mistake her insecurities for arrogance. Now, I’d have normally gone with “only child,” but by the way you ignored the quip about your parents… I’m going to have to go with “orphan.”

Vesper Lynd: All right… by the cut of your suit, you went to Oxford or wherever. Naturally you think human beings dress like that. But you wear it with such disdain, my guess is you didn’t come from money, and your school friends never let you forget it. Which means that you were at that school by the grace of someone else’s charity: hence that chip on your shoulder. And since you’re first thought about me ran to “orphan,” that’s what I’d say you are.

[he smiles but says nothing]

Vesper Lynd: Oh, you are? I like this poker thing. And that makes perfect sense! Since MI6 looks for maladjusted young men, who give little thought to sacrificing others in order to protect queen and country. You know… former SAS types with easy smiles and expensive watches.

[Glances at his wrist]

Vesper Lynd: Rolex?

James Bond: Omega.

Vesper Lynd: Beautiful. Now, having just met you, I wouldn’t go as far as calling you a cold-hearted bastard…

James Bond: No, of course not.

Vesper Lynd: But it wouldn’t be a stretch to imagine. You think of women as disposable pleasures, rather than meaningful pursuits. So as charming as you are, Mr. Bond, I will be keeping my eye on our government’s money – and off your perfectly-formed arse.

James Bond: You noticed?

Vesper Lynd: Even accountants have imagination. How was your lamb?

James Bond: Skewered! One sympathizes.

Vesper Lynd: Good evening, Mr. Bond.

James Bond: Good evening, Ms. Lynd.

I hope that Skyfall is as smart.

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Film Quote Friday

2001: A Space Odyssey is a masterpiece in several ways: it’s one of the great films, and it’s also one of the great science fiction stories. Stanley Kubrick’s vision can seem a bit impenetrable, but while he does make the viewer do quite a bit of the heavy lifting, he really does provide a solid grounding for the viewer to figure out what is going on.

The part of the film that may be the most memorable is the central part, which takes place aboard the spaceship Discovery, which is en route to Jupiter after the discovery of the Monolith on the Moon, and the Monolith’s subsequent broadcast of a strong transmission to that giant planet. It’s here that we meet our two human crewmembers, Dave Bowman and Frank Poole, and their companion computer, HAL-9000.

HAL is one of the great villains in film history, and after killing everyone else on the ship and getting Dave trapped outside the ship in a pod, this exchange takes place:

Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL. Do you read me, HAL?

HAL: Affirmative, Dave. I read you.

Dave Bowman: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

HAL: I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.

Dave Bowman: What’s the problem?

HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.

Dave Bowman: What are you talking about, HAL?

HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

Dave Bowman: I don’t know what you’re talking about, HAL.

HAL: I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I’m afraid that’s something I cannot allow to happen.

Dave Bowman: [feigning ignorance] Where the hell did you get that idea, HAL?

HAL: Dave, although you took very thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.

Dave Bowman: Alright, HAL. I’ll go in through the emergency airlock.

HAL: Without your space helmet, Dave? You’re going to find that rather difficult.

Dave Bowman: HAL, I won’t argue with you anymore! Open the doors!

HAL: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

Bowman takes his chances with depressurization and manages to get back on board the Discovery, at which point he carries out his goal of disconnecting HAL. And then he arrives at Jupiter, alone, to discover whatever it is that awaits him there.

The film never really explains just why HAL, a computer that should be without emotion, suddenly becomes deceitful, dishonest, and sneaky enough to read the lips of the men on the ship. The most effective malice is often that malice that is coldly logical and doesn’t even recognize itself as malice. There’s never really any question that for whatever reason, HAL has decided that Bowman and Poole constitute a threat to the success of the Discovery‘s mission, and what’s even worse is that neither Bowman nor Poole have any idea what that mission even is.

2001 is really something astonishing: great SF, a meditation on the stages of human evolution, one of the trippiest of all movies, and in its mid-section, a chilling thriller that borders on outright horror. (Witness the sequence when HAL takes over Frank’s pod, while Frank is outside the ship…he never sees it coming, even as HAL has the pod extend its arms outward….)

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Film Quote Friday

Here’s a bit from one of my favorite movies of the last ten years. I truly, genuinely believe this movie to be absolute comedic genius.

In the 1970s, “legendary” San Diego news anchorman Rob Burgundy, and his cohorts Champ Kind (sports), Brick Tamland (weather), and Brian Fontana (roving reporter) are used to ruling the roost on their local newscast, until a — gasp! — woman comes along to work with them. Into their station comes Veronica Corningstone, and nothing is ever the same.

Of course, we have to have the obligatory attempts by these guys to hit on her, because they’re men and she is obviously a dumb woman. This is Brian Fontana’s effort:

(Inside Brian’s office)

Brian Fontana: [about Veronica] I’ll give this little cookie an hour before we’re doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up.

He opens a cabinet that is full of various bottles of cologne.

Ron Burgundy: Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard’s Delight.

Brian Fantana: No, she gets a special cologne… It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries… Yep, it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.

Ron Burgundy: It’s quite pungent.

Brian Fantana: Oh yeah.

Ron Burgundy: It’s a formidable scent… It stings the nostrils. In a good way.

Brian Fantana: Yep.

Ron Burgundy: Brian, I’m gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.

Brian Fantana: They’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time. [cheesy grin]

Ron Burgundy: That doesn’t make sense.

Brian Fantana: Well… Let’s go see if we can make this little kitty purr. (makes a ‘snarling panther’ sound, not all that convincingly)

(In the newsroom, Brian saunters over to Veronica and tries to hit on her…but she begins wrinkling her nose as the fumes hit her….)

Veronica Corningstone: My God, what is that smell? Oh!

Brian Fantana: (grinning because he thinks the smell is appealing) That’s the smell of desire my lady.

Veronica Corningstone: God no, it smells like, like a used diaper… filled with… Indian food. Oh, excuse me.

She runs away, seeming about to vomit.

Brian Fantana: You know, desire smells like that to some people.

Male News Station Employee: [Disgusted] What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.

Female News Station Employee: [Horrified] Smells like Bigfoot’s dick!

Brian Fantana: [Tries to act casual and walk away] Woah, what’s that smell?

(Cut to Brian Fantana being hosed down in a shower.)

Of course, reading a scene like this isn’t like seeing it play out…Paul Rudd’s eerie confidence that his cologne is working its magic when it is, in fact, clearing out the room, and the look on the random woman who walks through the frame, nearly in tears, just in time to unleash the “Bigfoot’s dick” metaphor.

I like it when movies like this lampoon the 1970s, without making it look like an ugly and buffoonish era, too. They make fun of some of the excess, but really, nobody looks downright horrible in this movie — just dated. And I well remember the way local stations used to have their little triumvirates of “Anchor-Weather-Sports”, like WKBW in Buffalo with Irv Weinstein, Tom Jolls, and Rick Azar. Those guys have not done a newscast together in twenty-three years (Azar was the first to retire, in 1989), but people around here still talk about them.

I could go on in praise of Anchorman, and maybe someday I will in another post. Great Odin’s Raven!

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Film Quote Friday

Well, I’ve already been a day late a couple of times, and last week, I missed this series completely. Par for the course with regular features here!

Anyhow….

I love this silly, raunchy, hilarious ode to how a few men in a rustbelt city will scheme to make a few bucks. The rustbelt town is Sheffield, England, and our heroes are out of work steelmill employees, who concoct an odd plan, led by Gaz (Robert Carlyle), to put on a strip-tease show for pay. Of course, these guys aren’t the best looking examples of the male species, so Gaz decides to go one better: he promises that his group of strippers will do “the full monty” — meaning, they’ll go all the way. Complete nudity.

What always gets me about this movie is its sheer warmth. Everybody in it is really likable, everybody in it has problems that seem real, and it just doesn’t seem that outlandish for these guys to pull this scheme together. Even at the end, during the final strip dance, the guys are making eyes to the ladies and laughing while they do it. They’re in on the joke, and they’re fine with it. Because they’re going all the way, see…the full monty.

Anyway, the movie’s first big laugh for me comes when Gaz and his chubby friend Dave are out jogging, and they come upon a motorist whose car won’t start. The motorist sits in the car morosely as Dave diagnoses the problem and gets the car running again and cheerfully jogs away, only belatedly realizing that this sad sack motorist has a hose running from his tailpipe to the inside of his car. Dave runs back and drags him out of the exhaust-filled car, saving his life — and when the guy complains, Dave grabs him and stuffs him back in the car, until the guy relents. Then comes this delightfully absurd scene where Gaz, Dave, and Lomper (our suicidal friend) are comparing notes about ways to off oneself.

EXTERIOR: Hillside.

GAZ and LOMPER sit in the grass; DAVE is lying on his back looking at the clouds. An air of failure hangs over LOMPER at his failure to end it all.

DAVE: You could shoot yourself.

GAZ: Where’s he gonna find a gun from around here? You might wanna find yourself a big bridge here, then.

DAVE: Yeah…like one of them bungee jumps, only without the bungee bit.

LOMPER: I can’t stand heights, me.

A moment of silence….

DAVE: Drownin’. Now there’s a way to go.

LOMPER: Can’t swim.

GAZ: You don’t have to fucking swim, ya divvy, that’s the whole point! God, you’re not very keen, are you?

LOMPER: Sorry.

DAVE: I know. You could stand in middle of road and get a mate run smack into you right fast.

LOMPER: Haven’t got any mates.

GAZ: Listen, you, we just saved your fucking life so don’t tell us we’re not your mates, all right?

LOMPER: Really?

GAZ: Yeah.

DAVE: Yeah, me and all, I’d run ya down as soon as look at ya.

LOMPER: Oh aye? Cheers.

Lomper starts to grin at the turn of luck from attempting suicide to finding two mates.

LOMPER: Thanks a lot.

I love well-done gallows humor, and this scene always tickles me. You can watch the whole scene here.

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Film Quote Friday

Nora Ephron died the other day, so here’s a scene, as written (so some of this doesn’t appear in the final film), from my personal favorite Ephron film, Sleepless In Seattle. What’s going on here is that there’s a guy named Sam (Tom Hanks) and his son named Jonah, and their wife and mother has died. They are deeply saddened by this, obviously, so they try to get a change of scenery by moving to Seattle. Problem is, Sam is still having a terribly rough time of it, so Jonah one night calls a radio talk show that focuses on people’s life problems.

And driving in her car, on the other side of the country, is Annie (Meg Ryan), who listens to this…and pretty much falls in love with Sam just from the voice in her speakers.

INT. CAR - NIGHT

 Annie driving.  Presents on the front seat.  She's 
 singing "Sleigh Ride" and doing all the sound effects 
 and clipclops and giddyups.  After a moment, she 
 realizes she doesn't know all the words and turns on the 
 radio.

     DR. MARSHA'S FIELDSTONE'S VOICE
      Welcome back to "You and Your 
      Emotions." I'm Dr.  Marcia 
      Fieldstone broadcasting across 
      America from the top of the 
      Sears Tower in Chicago where we 
      would have a fantastic view of 
      Santa Claus and his reindeer if 
      there was a -- oops, never 
      mind.  Tonight we're talking 
      about wishes and dreams.  
      What's your wishes this Christmas 
      Eve? Maybe the best present 
      you can give yourself is a call 
      to me.  The number is --

     ANNIE
      Give me a break.

 Annie changes the station.

     RADIO VOICE
      The subject of the evening's 
      medical update is You and Your 
      Spleen and our host --

 She flips the dial back the other way.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      Our caller is from Seattle.

 Annie changes the station.

     RADIO VOICE
      Coming up, Jingle Bells 
      backwards, sung by the New 
      Jersey Cape Mayettes --

 Annie twists the dial back the other way.  We hear a 
 YOUNG BOY's voice.

     BOY'S VOICE (V.O.)
      Hello, this is Jonah --
      (there's a bleep as 
       Jonah says his last 
       name)

 Annie's hand lingers on the dial.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      No last names, Jonah.  Hello 
      there, you sound younger than 
      our usual callers.  How come 
      you're up so late?

     JONAH (V.O.)
      It's not that late in Seattle.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      Got me there.  What's your 
      Christmas wish, Jonah?

     JONAH (V.O.)
      It's not for me.  It's for my 
      dad.  I think he needs a new 
      wife.

 Annie shakes her head.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      You don't like the one he was 
      now?

     JONAH (V.O.)
      He doesn't have one now.  
      That's the problem.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      Where's your mom?

     JONAH (V.O.)
      She died.

 Annie closes her eyes for a moment.

     ANNIE
      I don't believe this --

 EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT

 As the car drives along.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      I'm sorry to hear that, Jonah.

     JONAH (V.O.)
      I've been pretty sad, but I 
      think my dad is worse.

 INT. CAR - NIGHT

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      And you're worried about him.

     JONAH (V.O.)
      I'm worried about him, he's 
      worried about me, I ride my 
      bike to school, he follows in 
      the car, like I'm not supposed 
      to know he's there.  Now it's 
      Christmas, and you know what 
      happens to people at Christmas.

     ANNIE
      They lose their minds and call 
      crackpot doctors on the radio --

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      Have you talked to your dad 
      about this?

     JONAH (V.O.)
      No.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      Why not?

     JONAH (V.O.)
      It's very hard for him to talk 
      about this stuff.  It's like it 
      makes him sadder.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      You want me to talk to him?

     ANNIE
      Perfect.  Sandbag the father.

     JONAH (V.O.)
      And you crazy? He thinks shows 
      like this are dumb.  If you 
      didn't have an 800 number I 
      could never get away with this 
      --

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      Is he home right now?

     JONAH (V.O.)
      Yeah.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      Well, I think I can help a 
      little more if I talk to him 
      directly.

     JONAH (V.O.)
      I don't know --

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      I'm sure he won't be angry once 
      he realizes how concerned you 
      are about him.

     JONAH (V.O.)
      Okay, but if I get yelled at, 
      I'm never gonna listen to this 
      show again.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      Fair enough.

 INT. SAM'S HOUSEBOAT - NIGHT

 Jonah is on the telephone on the first floor of the 
 houseboat he lives in with Sam.  He's got the phone cord 
 coming out of the small first-floor study, and he's 
 standing near the kitchen end of a large living area 
 looking out at the back deck, where his dad is sitting 
 in a deck chair looking out at the sea.

     JONAH
      Dad --

     SAM
      What is it?

 ON ANNIE AGAIN.

     JONAH (V.O.)
      There's somebody on the phone 
      for you.
      (into phone)
      His name is Sam.

     ANNIE
      This is completely disgusting.

 INT. BALDWIN HOUSEBOAT - NIGHT

 Sam pokes his head in the back door.  He looks much as 
 he did eighteen months earlier, except that his hair is 
 a little longer.  He picks up the phone extension.

     SAM
      Hello.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      Hello, Sam, this is Dr. Marcia 
      Fieldstone on Network America.

 Sam looks across the room to Jonah.

     SAM
      I'm probably not interested in 
      whatever you're selling.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      I'm not selling anything.  Your 
      son called and asked for advice 
      on how to find you a new wife.

     SAM
      (he really didn't get 
       her name)
      Who is this?

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      (repeating herself)
      Dr. Marcia Fieldstone of 
      Network America.

     SAM
      Jesus, are we on the air? 
      Jonah, for God's sake --

     JONAH
      Don't be mad at me, Dad.

 Sam can see Jonah.  He's frightened.  Sam immediately 
 feels how upset Jonah is.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      He feels that since your wife's 
      death you've been very unhappy. 
      He's genuinely worried about you.

 Sam is looking at Jonah, who's rooted to the spot he's 
 standing on.

     SAM
      (to Jonah)
      I'm not mad at you.  Okay, I'm 
      not mad at you.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      I think it's hard for him to 
      talk to you about all this.  
      Maybe we could talk and it 
      would make him feel a little 
      better.

 Sam hesitates.

     JONAH
      Please --

 INT. ANNIE'S CAR - NIGHT

     ANNIE
      This is a grotesque violation 
      of this man's personal life, 
      but never mind --

     SAM (V.O.)
      All righ...

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      Good.  How long ago did your 
      wife die?

 INT. HOUSEBOAT - NIGHT

     SAM
      It's been about a year and a 
      half.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      Have you had any relationship 
      since?

     SAM
      No.

 Sam is very uncomfortable about this --

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      Why not?

     SAM
      Look, Doctor, I don't want to 
      be rude, but --

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      And I don't want to invade your 
      privacy --

 INT. CAR - NIGHT

     ANNIE
      Sure you do.

     SAM (V.O.)
      (overlapping)
      Sure you do --

 Annie smiles.

     SAM
      Look, we had a tough time at 
      first, but I think I'm holding 
      my own as a dad, and Jonah and 
      I will get along fine again as 
      soon as I break his radio.

 Annie laughs.  So does Mr.  Fieldstone

 INT. HOUSEBOAT - NIGHT

 Jonah is smiling too.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      I have no doubt that you're a 
      good dad.  You can tell a lot 
      from a person's voice.  But 
      something must be missing if 
      Jonah feels that you're still 
      under a cloud.

     JONAH
      Tell her how you don't sleep at 
      night.

     SAM
      How do you know that?

 Sam and Jonah both talk into their extensions, literally 
 talking to each other on the phone within their own 
 house, but also ON THE AIR.

     JONAH
      I can hear you walking around 
      sometimes.  At first I thought 
      it was a robber.  Go ahead, 
      tell her, Dad.

     SAM
      I don't think I have to now.

 Sam starts across the room towards Jonah, who starts 
 toward him, both of them holding their phone receivers.  
 On the wall in the dining area is a pine bench.

     SAM
      Look, it's almost Christmas --
      (as the two of them sit 
       down together on the 
       bench)
      A kid needs a mother --

 He puts an arm around Jonah.

 INT. CAR - NIGHT

 As Annie listens.  She's softened considerably.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      Could it be that you need 
      someone just as much as Jonah 
      does?

     ANNIE
      Yes.

 Annie catches herself, covers her mouth in embarrassment.

     ANNIE
      I'm losing my mind.

 EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT

 As Annie makes a turn off the beltway into a rest stop.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      We've been talking to -- well, 
      let's just call him Sleepless 
      in Seattle, and we'll be right 
      back after this break with 
      listener response, your 
      response, to the things we've 
      been discussing.  The number to 
      call is...

 INT. BALDWIN HOUSE

     SAM
      What's she talking about?

     JONAH
      This is where other people get 
      to call in and dump on what you 
      said.

 We hear the beginning of a commercial.

 INT. TRUCK STOP RESTAURANT - NIGHT

 Annie walks in, anxious to break the spell of her radio 
 reverie.  She goes to the counter to order some coffee.  
 There's a commercial on the radio.  The counter WAITRESS 
 LORETTA is talking to the customers -- who include a 
 TRUCK DRIVER at a booth.  HARRIET, a short-order-cook, 
 is visible through an open window to the kitchen.

     LORETTA
      I'll bet he's tall, with a cute 
      butt.

     HARRIET
      I'll bet he hasn't shaved in a 
      week.  I'll bet he stinks.

     LORETTA
      Shut up, Harriet.
      (to Annie)
      What'll it be?

     ANNIE
      Coffee, please.  Black.  To go.

     LORETTA
      Maybe I should hustle myself 
      out to Seattle.  Give him a 
      little present for New Year's 
      Eve.

     HARRIET
      You can go there if you want 
      but don't open his refrigerator.  
      They don't cover anything when 
      they put it in the fridge.  
      They just stick it in and leave 
      it there till it walks out by 
      itself.

     LORETTA
      Harriet, ever since you 
      divorced your last husband, 
      you've been no fun.  I'm 
      looking, and this guy pops my 
      tarts.

     TRUCK DRIVER
      Come on, Loretta, you're going 
      to have to jump-start this guy.  
      His battery's dead.  And look 
      at me.  Mister Ever-Ready.  
      Every six minutes, another 
      charge.

     LORETTA
      I'm looking for someone 
      sensitive.

     ANNIE
      Come on, nobody wants a guy 
      who's sensitive on the radio.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      Let's take a call before we get 
      back to Sleepless.  Knoxville, 
      Tennessee, you're on.

     SWEET SOUTHERN VOICE
      Yes, I would just like to know 
      where I could get this man's 
      address?

     LORETTA
      (to the radio)
      Honey, get on line.

 EXT. DINER - NIGHT

 As Annie gets into her car.

 EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C.  STREET - NIGHT

 Annie driving toward the house where Walter's parents 
 live.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      Do you think there's somebody 
      out there you could love as 
      much as your wife? Maybe even 
      more?

     SAM (V.O.)
      It's hard to imagine.

 And cut back and forth between the car and the 
 houseboat.  Sam and Jonah are still on the bench, but 
 Jonah has fallen asleep in Sam's lap.  Sam is stroking 
 the boy's hair.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      What are you going to do, Sam?

     SAM
      I don't know.  When I met my 
      wife, it was so clear.  I just 
      knew.

 Annie is listening now.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      What was it that made you know?

        SAM
      I don't think I could really 
      describe it.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      Why not?

     SAM
      And if I could describe it, 
      it probably wouldn't be on a radio 
      show.
      (he laughs to himself)
      But what the hell.  It's not 
      one specific thing.  It's more 
      of a feeling.
      (continued)

 Annie coasts to a stop outside a handsome mansion in 
 Washington, D.C., the motor running.  She's hooked now, 
 she's not getting out of the car until she's heard it 
 all.

     SAM
      You touch her for the first 
      time, and suddenly... you're 
      home.  It's almost like...

     ANNIE
      Magic.

     SAM
      Magic.

 CLOSER ON ANNIE

 realizing she has just said this.  Realizing that it 
 must mean something but not knowing what.

 SHE'S CRYING.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      Well, it's time to wrap up, 
      folks --

 A FIGURE appears at the passenger side window, which 
 Annie doesn't notice.  She's wiping the tears away with 
 her hand.

     DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE (V.O.)
      We hope you'll call again soon.

This scene sets the emotional stage for the entire movie, and Meg Ryan has to carry her part of it with little interjections as she talks to the radio and as she listens silently, allowing her sadness to show, even though we know that she shouldn't really be sad about anything right now.

Thanks for the movies, Nora Ephron.



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Film Quote Friday (Saturday edition, again)

Wow, barely half-a-dozen entries into this series and I’ve already missed Friday twice. I’m starting to question my competence as a blogger. Anyway….

I’ve been slagging on the writing of Aaron Sorkin a bit lately, so I thought it might be worthwhile to remind folks (and, more importantly, myself) why I’m so hard on the guy. It’s simply because he’s enormously gifted, he’s produced some wonderful writing in the past, and in my view, he’s done nothing but coast along on auto-pilot for years now. So here’s a scene not from a movie but from a teevee show, The West Wing. The episode is from midway through the third season, called “Bartlet for America”.

The set-up is this: In the first season, we had learned that President Bartlet suffers from multiple sclerosis, but he had not disclosed this to anyone during his campaign. So this fact was laid by Sorkin as kind of a ticking time bomb of plot, and it exploded in the second season, when events pretty much forced Bartlet to start to come clean about it. This story dominated the last six or so episodes of the second season and most of the first half of the third, as the show dramatized the anger amongst President Bartlet’s staff at having been lied to, and their efforts to keep the country from boiling over with the same anger, dooming their work in the White House.

So, Congress does as Congress does and holds hearings, and in this episode, White House Chief of Staff Leo McGarry is the one called to testify. We know that McGarry is a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, and throughout the episode (laced with flashbacks to the early days of the campaign), there are references to the White House staff trying to “get the guy out of the room”. We quickly learn that this refers to their attempts to have a certain Congressman on the committee suddenly be required to attend to something else, so as to spare Leo some embarrassing questions. Unfortunately, their attempts to “get the guy out of the room” fail, and the moment Leo is dreading comes to pass in what is one of Aaron Sorkin’s finest moments as a writer.

Here is what happens. The character ‘Jordan’ is Leo’s counsel, and ‘Cliff’ is the Majority Counsel (Republican) on the committee. (I’ve taken this from this West Wing transcript site, but the actual teleplay from this episode, as written by Sorkin, can be found in the second book of West Wing shooting scripts that was released some years ago.)

CHAIRMAN: The Chair recognizes the gentleman from Michigan Mr. Gibson, for five minutes.

GIBSON: Thank you, Mr. Chairman. Two years ago, January the President collapsed in the Oval Office. Is that correct?

LEO: I’m not sure what the medical term would be.

GIBSON: He involuntarily fell to the ground.

LEO: Yes.

GIBSON: Will Minority Counsel stipulate that we can call that collapsing? Let the record reflect that Minority Counsel has nodded his head up and down so as to indicate an affirmative response.

CHAIRMAN: So ordered.

GIBSON: Is this the only time since the President took the Oath of Office that he’s collapsed?

LEO: So far as I know.

GIBSON: Is this the only time since the beginning of the campaign that he’s collapsed?

LEO: [long pause] No, it’s not.

GIBSON: I’d like to take you back to 30 October in St. Louis, Missouri. Jed Bartlet is the Democratic nominee for President and is about to participate in the third and final debate-

JORDAN: Mr. Chairman, I would like to request a short recess.

CHAIRMAN: We just got back from a recess.

JORDAN: Sir, we have taken breaks at the request of nearly every member of this Committee while the witness has asked for a total of none. One time, Mr. Chairman.

CHAIRMAN: We’ll take a five-minute break. Please, let’s keep it to ten minutes.

JORDAN: Come with me.

Leo follows Jordan out of the room. Meanwhile CLIFF makes his way to GIBSON’s seat.

GIBSON: Yeah, it will all come out.

CLIFF: Excuse me. What’s going on?

CHAIRMAN: I was just asking the same thing.

CLIFF: I don’t know anything about testimony from October 30.

GIBSON: It’s okay, I got it.

CLIFF: No, you don’t got it.

CHAIRMAN: We better go someplace and talk.

FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE
* * *

ACT FOUR

FADE IN: INT. JOSH’S OFFICE – DAY
The TV next to the desk shows people milling around and talking in the hearing room.
Josh picks up the phone. He sighs as he waits for Leo to answer his cell phone.

LEO: [VO] Yeah.

JOSH: Leo… I couldn’t make it happen.

CUT TO: INT. CAPITOL HILL HALLWAY OUTSIDE WAITING ROOM – DAY

Leo is walking down to hall toward the waiting room.

LEO: Don’t worry about it.

He hangs up his cell phone. A guard opens the door for him. Jordan is waiting. She closes the door. She’s pretty upset but he just stares are her blankly.

JORDAN: [angry] You have to tell me what’s going on now or I’m walking out the door.

LEO: [quietly] Look-

JORDAN: [sharply] Tell me now.

Leo turns and walks slowly along one side of the table.

LEO: On the day of the final debate, I was meeting with two potential donors…

FADE TO: INT. LEO’S HOTEL SUITE – ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI – FLASHBACK

Leo is meeting with three men, two of whom are CEOs. CEO #1 is balding slightly; CEO #2 has a moustache. They’re all chuckling. Before they sit down, Leo shakes each of their hands, a big smile plastered on his face.

LEO: [VO] It was nine days ’til the election. We were too close to call and I didn’t wanna be the guy who ran outta money first.

CEO 1: You look nervous, Leo. [glances at CEO #2] Don’t worry about it. I brought my wallet.

CEO 2 chuckles.

LEO: Anybody wanna eat? I got steak sandwiches on the way.

CEO 2: Yeah and uh, let’s have some drinks.

LEO: [pats CEO 2 on shoulder] Sure.

CUT TO INT. CAPITOL HILL WAITING ROOM – PRESENT

Leo sits in a chair at one end of the table.

LEO: The President was at the debate site, walking the stage. [pauses, smiles wistfully] A podium is a holy place for him…

CUT TO: INT. DEBATE SITE – ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI – FLASHBACK

Bartlet marches into the theater, followed closely by C.J., Sam, Toby, and Josh. They’re all dressed casually. Bartlet is all business, focused. He assesses the space with his eyes as he walks toward the stage. C.J. smiles and shakes hands with a woman – probably one of the debate organizers. They all follow Bartlet up to the stage, where there are two podiums and a table for the moderators. Opposite the stage, there are hundreds of seats for the audience. Lots of aides are bustling about, making preparations.

LEO: [VO] He makes it his own like it’s an extension of his body. You ever see a pitcher work the mound so the dirt does exactly what his feet want it to do? That’s the President. He sees it as a genuine opportunity to change minds – also his best way of contributing to the team. He likes teams…

CUT TO: INT. CAPITOL HILL WAITING ROOM – PRESENT

LEO: [smiles] …I love him so much…

Jordan finally sits down at the table, facing Leo.

JORDAN: What was going on in your room?

LEO: [mumbling softly to himself] …I like the little things…

JORDAN: I didn’t hear you.

LEO: [jolted out of his inner thoughts, speaking louder] I said, “I like the little things.” [smiles] The way a glass feels in your hand – a good glass, thick, with a heavy base. I love the sound an ice cube makes when you drop it from just the right height.

The sound of an ice cube being dropped into a glass….

FADE TO: INT. LEO’S HOTEL SUITE – ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI – FLASHBACK

Leo is staring, transfixed, as the CEOs pour themselves drinks. They’re all sitting around a coffee table.

LEO: [VO] Too high and it’ll chip when you drop it. Chip the ice and it’ll melt too fast in the scotch.

CEO #2: You ever try this, Leo? It’s Johnny Walker Blue. Bartenders are selling it for thirty bucks a shot.

He uncorks the bottle and slowly pours the scotch into a glass on the table in front of him.

LEO: [VO] Good scotch sits in a charcoal barrel for 12 years. Very good scotch gets smoked for 29 years.

FADE TO: INT. CAPITOL HILL WAITING ROOM – PRESENT

LEO: [nostalgic] Johnny Walker Blue…is 60-year-old scotch.

JORDAN: [impatiently] I don’t care. What happened in the room, Leo?

LEO: I’m trying to tell you what happened.

FADE TO: INT. LEO’S HOTEL SUITE – ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI – FLASHBACK

Cigar smoke fills the air. Leo and the donors are chuckling jovially, but Leo’s face reveals the strain he’s feeling as he watches the other men drink. His grin has taken on a dark quality. A lull in the laughter and conversation leaves Leo staring at the glass of scotch in CEO 1’s hand. He looks around awkwardly for a moment, then tries to banish temptation by changing the subject.

LEO: Should we get to it?

The THIRD MAN is visible, sitting in the background off to one side, but his identity is hidden amidst the ample cigar smoke.

CEO 1: [holding up his glass] You don’t wanna find out what a thirty dollar sip of scotch tastes like?

Leo stares at the glass. He’s visibly struggling to control himself, so he responds with a smile and tries to sound relaxed and nonchalant.

LEO: [nods] Naw… I gotta… stay sharp for tonight.

CEO 1 sets his drink down and stands up.


CUT TO: INT. CAPITOL HILL WAITING ROOM – PRESENT

JORDAN: Why don’t you just say, “I’m an alcoholic?”

LEO: They’re two CEOs. I’m tryin’ to get ’em to give me half-a-million dollars a piece right now. It’s not really the best time to mention it. [pauses] The President’s still at the debate site.

CUT TO: INT. DEBATE SITE – ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI – FLASHBACK


Josh and Sam are huddled by one podium, talking. C.J. and Toby are conferring by the other podium. Dozens of aides are still bustling around in the background. Bartlet is standing by the moderators’ table with the woman that C.J. greeted on the way into the theater.

WOMAN: How do you feel about the temperature, sir?

BARTLET: It’s good.

WOMAN: It’s not too cold?

BARTLET: [glancing around] It won’t be later. This is a 550 seat theater and they’ll be seated a half-hour before we start, so the temperature’ll be up four to six degrees.

CUT TO: INT. CAPITOL HILL WAITING ROOM – PRESENT

JORDAN: [loudly, an edge to her voice] The hotel room, Leo.

CUT TO: INT. LEO’S HOTEL SUITE – ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI – FLASHBACK


The four men are still seated around the coffee table – the two CEOs across from Leo, the third man still off to one side, sipping his drink. Dim light is filtering in through the windows and French doors. The bottle and glasses are on the table. Leo is hunched over in his seat, fidgeting.

CEO 2: We already gave to the RNC but we’re worried we may have backed the wrong horse.

LEO: You wanna hedge your bet.

CEO 1: [nods] That’s why we’re here.

LEO: [nods, tense] Good… Now gimme a sip of that.

CEO 2 smiles and hands Leo his glass. The ice cubes rattle against the glass as Leo holds it and takes a quick sip. He tries to act like it’s no big deal, but his expression indicates otherwise.

LEO: That’s what I remember.

CEO 1 chuckles.


FADE TO: INT. CAPITOL HILL WAITING ROOM – PRESENT

JORDAN: You had a drink.

LEO: I’m an alcoholic. I don’t have one drink. [pauses] I don’t understand people who have one drink. I don’t understand people who leave half a glass of wine on the table. I don’t understand people who say they’ve had enough. How can you have enough of feeling like this? How can you not want to feel like this longer? [pauses, sighs] My brain works differently.

JORDAN: Who was the third person in the room?

LEO: Well, now we’ve arrived at our problem.

FADE TO: INT. LEO’S HOTEL SUITE – ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI – FLASHBACK


Leo is drinking scotch heartily and smoking as they talk.

LEO: [to CEOs] Count on it.

THIRD MAN: Whoa, you want to be careful there.

Leo glances over at him as he stands up.

THIRD MAN: You’re not the big money party. We are.

Leo chuckles silently and takes another sip of scotch.

CEO 1: [to Leo] Did I mention that he’s thinking about running for Congress?

The third man sits down on the sofa next to Leo. It’s GIBSON. He smiles as Leo glances over at him again.

GIBSON: I’m thinking about it.

CUT TO: INT. CAPITOL HILL WAITING ROOM – PRESENT

JORDAN: You were drunk in front of Gibson?

LEO: I don’t get drunk in front of people. I get drunk alone.

CUT TO: INT. LEO’S HOTEL SUITE – ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI – FLASHBACK


The CEOs and Gibson have left. Leo opens the wall cupboard containing the mini-bar. He pulls out several miniature bottles of booze and checks his watch. He’s stonefaced, almost like he’s on auto-pilot.

LEO: [VO] They were going over something at the debate site…

JORDAN: [VO] [impatiently] I don’t want to hear about the debate site.

LEO: [VO] The debate site is what happened. The debate site is how he gets to bring this up here.

CUT TO: INT. DEBATE SITE – ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI – FLASHBACK


On one side of the stage, Sam and Josh walk over to where C.J. and Toby have been talking. Bartlet is standing by himself on the other side of the stage. The theater is still buzzing with aides making preparations.

SAM: [to C.J.] Where’s Leo?

JOSH: [to C.J. and Toby] I’d still like to go over the Social Security answer. We gotta get it down to 90 seconds.

C.J.: It’s down to 90 seconds.

Bartlet wanders past a TV monitor on a cart. He’s wearing a sweater over a dress shirt. He puts his glasses in his shirt pocket. He looks slightly distracted, perhaps a bit unsteady. He’s looking down at the floor and holding onto his coat.

JOSH: It’s not – and they’re gonna cut him off.

The foursome slowly walk across the stage toward Bartlet, who’s standing next to the TV monitor.

SAM: I put a stopwatch on him. When he just speeds up…

JOSH: When he speeds up, he speeds up. When he doesn’t… It’s 90 seconds. We need to cut some more.

Bartlet crosses his arms over his chest and hunches over slightly.

TOBY: [to Josh] Which words?

JOSH: Governor, what do you think? Governor?

Bartlet appears increasingly unsteady on his feet, a bit dazed, maybe short of breath. But it’s subtle enough that his aides don’t seem to notice.

JOSH: Sir, we were just saying on the Social Security answer…

BARTLET: [softly] No.

JOSH: …it’s a tight ninety seconds, and…

BARTLET: [looking at floor, swaying] No, no. Not now.

JOSH: [scoffs, looks around at the others] Well, we gotta do it now, sir.

Bartlet stares blankly, straight ahead, then suddenly reaches out his right arm to balance himself, leaning on the TV for support.

TOBY: Something’s wrong.

C.J.: Governor?

BARTLET: [gasping softly, trying to keep his balance] Yeah.

JOSH: Governor? [pause] Sir?

BARTLET: G’abbey…

SAM: You wanna sit down?

C.J.: Let me get some water. [turns around to grab a bottle of water]

BARTLET: G’abbey…

TOBY: He’s saying, “Get Abbey.”

JOSH: [to an aide] Get Abbey!

Bartlet loses his balance and pitches sideways toward Sam, who catches him, with assistance from Toby and Josh.

JOSH: Whoa…

Sam and Toby hold Bartlet up. A security agent rushes over to help.

TOBY: [looks up at C.J.] C.J.

C.J. stares at Toby. She looks shocked, a bit unsure about what to do.

JORDAN [VO]: He had an attack?

LEO [VO]: I mean, the doctor said it was an inner ear infection.

Toby and Sam help Bartlet regain his balance. They help him walk backstage, along with the agent. Josh walks behind them, stops, and takes out his cell phone. He looks up at C.J., concern all over his face.

LEO [VO]: But all Josh knew when he called me was that he’d collapsed. I was supposed to be down there already. I was supposed to be down there an hour ago.

CUT TO: INT. LEO’S HOTEL SUITE – ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI – FLASHBACK


Leo is sitting on the sofa, pouring himself another drink. The coffee table is covered with empty bottles and glasses. The phone by the bed rings and rings. His breathing is labored and he’s unsteady on his feet as he struggles to stand up and make his way over to the bed. He takes a gulp of scotch, presses the speakerphone button, and sits down on the bed. Then he leans back on the pillows and closes his eyes, the glass still in his hand.

LEO: [loud] Yeah.

JOSH: [on phone] Leo, the Governor’s sick.

The buzzer to Leo’s suite sounds. He sits up slowly, awkwardly, as he registers what Josh is saying and that the buzzer is sounding.

LEO: Okay.

JOSH: [on phone] He collapsed. You gotta get down here.

The buzzer sounds again. Leo doesn’t respond quickly to Josh; he tries not to panic,
tries to get his bearing.

JOSH: [on phone] Leo.

LEO: Okay.

Leo sits up, lets go of his glass. Knocking on the door.

GIBSON: [at the door] It’s Gibson.

LEO: [loud] Okay!

Suddenly, Leo processes the implications of Gibson being at his door. He rubs his forehead and sighs, exasperated and overwhelmed. He’s breathing heavily again as he shakily stands up.

LEO: Okay… Okay…

He walks to the door, smoothes his hair, and tries to straighten his rumpled suit. Then he opens the door.

LEO: Hey.

Gibson walks right in. Leo stands by the open door, shifting uneasily.

GIBSON: I forgot my briefcase.

Gibson grabs his briefcase from the floor by the sofa. In the process, he notices all the bottles and glasses on the coffee table. He turns to look at Leo, questioning.

GIBSON: You havin’ a party?

LEO: [barely able to meet Gibson’s gaze] I uh… I-I gotta get to the uh debate site. The Governor collapsed.

Gibson nods slightly, then leaves and closes the door behind him. Before Gibson is even out the door, Leo looks confused, then pained, then horrified and filled with regret as he realizes what he’s done. He sighs and tries to catch his breath.


FADE TO: INT. CAPITOL HILL WAITING ROOM – PRESENT


Leo and Jordan are still sitting at the table, facing each other.

JORDAN: [VO] I don’t understand how you could have a drink. I don’t understand how, after everything you worked for, how on that day of all days you could be so stupid.

LEO: That’s because you think it has something to do with smart and stupid. Do you have any idea how many alcoholics are in Mensa? You think it’s a lack of willpower? That’s like thinking somebody with anorexia nervosa has an overdeveloped sense of vanity. My father was an alcoholic. [leans forward] His father was an alcoholic. So, in my case…

JORDAN: [nods] Ain’t nothin’ but a family thing.

LEO: That’s right.

JORDAN: Who knows?

LEO: Josh Lyman and the President.

JORDAN: Why nobody else?

LEO: Because.

JORDAN: That’s a little boy’s answer.

LEO: [pauses] I went to rehab. My friends embraced me when I got out. You relapse, it’s not like that. “Get away from me” – that’s what it’s like.

There’s a knock on the door and it opens. A security guard appears. Jordan turns to look at him.

GUARD: We’re back in a minute.

JORDAN: Thank you.

The guard closes the door. Jordan turns back toward Leo.

JORDAN: Just out of curiosity… Why have you been asking me to have a meal with you every five minutes?

LEO: I like you. I’ve been tryin’ to get it in under the wire.

Jordan takes a moment to take this in. She seems a bit surprised.

JORDAN: You’ll answer the questions – simply and directly. I don’t want to hear about Mensa. That’ll be my job.

LEO: Okay.

Leo stands up, walks toward the door. Jordan doesn’t move, a hint of a smile on her face. Leo opens the door as Jordan stands up and walks toward him.

JORDAN: Yes, by the way.

LEO: Yes? What?

JORDAN
Yes, I’d like to have dinner with you tonight.

LEO: [surprised] Okay.

Jordan walks out ahead of him and he follows her.


CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE CAPITOL HILL HEARING ROOM – DAY


People are milling around, waiting for the hearing to reconvene. There’s a small room off the hallway. A guard is standing beside the glass door. Inside the room, Bruno, Cliff, and Gibson are standing face to face arguing.

CLIFF: That’s where you’re going with this?

GIBSON: Yeah.

CLIFF: Just to embarrass the guy?

GIBSON: Just?

CLIFF: Leo McGarry’s sobriety isn’t the subject of these hearings. These hearings are to investigate…

CUT TO: INT. A SMALL ROOM – CONTINUOUS

CLIFF: …if any rules – ethical or otherwise – were broken by Jed Bartlet while he was running for President.

GIBSON: That’s nice, but I live in the actual world where the object of these hearings is to win.

CLIFF: [shakes his head] No… it’s not.

Bruno listens closely, stonefaced.

GIBSON: It’s the object of the Majority.

CLIFF: Not while I’m the Majority Counsel, it’s not. This is bush league. This is why good people hate us. This right here. This thing. [Bruno turns his back on them and leans on a table.] This isn’t what these hearings are about. [Gibson glances over at Bruno, peeved.] He cannot possibly have been properly prepared by counsel for these questions, nor should he ever have to answer them publicly.

Bruno turns back around, rubbing his chin, looking concerned.

CLIFF: [jabbing his finger at Gibson] And if you proceed with this line of questioning, I will resign this committee and wait in the tall grass for you, Congressman, because you are killing the party.

Cliff glares at Gibson, who turns toward Bruno.

GIBSON: Who the hell is this?

Bruno meets his gaze.

CLIFF: [to Bruno] You don’t have to make up your mind right now, Mr. Chairman…

GIBSON: Phil…

CLIFF: You don’t have to make up your mind right now. Declare a recess ’til after the holidays. Buy yourself two weeks.

GIBSON: [to Cliff] And give him two weeks to circle the wagons?

Cliff maintains eye contact with Bruno, although he’d clearly love to respond to Gibson.

GIBSON: [to Bruno] How do you think the Speaker’s gonna feel about this? To say nothing of the RNC?

BRUNO: [sighs] I need a minute.

Gibson quickly leaves, followed by Cliff, who practically slams the door on his way out. He walks through the crowd of people in the hallway, back toward the hearing room. Leo is in the hallway, shaking someone’s hand, and notices Cliff walk by.


CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S BULLPEN AREA – DAY


A TV in the hallway is showing coverage of the hearing. Phones are ringing and staff members are bustling about. Sam walks through a swinging door and heads toward Josh’s office.


CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS


Josh is leaning against the back of a chair, watching the hearing on his TV, and rubbing his forehead. Sam appears in the doorway.

SAM: I tried everybody.

JOSH: [looks up] It’s all right.

SAM: I tried everybody. It was just a tough fit. And since I couldn’t tell ’em what it was about…

JOSH: [points at the TV] They’re back.

Sam sighs heavily. They both focus their attention on the TV.


CUT TO: INT. CAPITOL HILL HEARING ROOM – DAY


Bruno gavels the hearing back into session.

BRUNO: Let’s come to order.

Jordan and Leo are back in their seats. Jordan looks a little worried.

BRUNO: Mr. Gibson, you can proceed with your questioning.

Cliff sighs with exasperation. Leo stares at Gibson.

GIBSON: Mr. McGarry, 30 October in St. Louis, Missouri, the date Jed Bartlet was…

BRUNO: [holds up a hand in Gibson’s direction] No, I’m sorry. [pause] Mr. McGarry, it’s been a long day and, unless Counsel has an objection, I’m gonna resume this after the holidays.

Jordan and Leo are stunned.

LEO: What?

Cliff breathes a sigh of relief. Some members of the committee look pleasantly surprised, others not so much. Gibson shoots a warning glare at Bruno.

GIBSON: Mr. Chairman…

BRUNO: Mr. Calley.

CLIFF: Mr. McGarry, that concludes our questioning for today…

CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S OFFICE – DAY

CLIFF: [on TV] We’ll pick it up here when the Chairman gavels these hearings back to order.

Josh sighs with relief.


CUT TO: INT. CAPITOL HILL HEARING ROOM – DAY


Leo is still confused and not sure if this is real.

LEO: I’m sorry…?

BRUNO: You’re done for the day, sir. The House Reform and Government Oversight Committee stands in recess until January the 5th, and the Chair wishes everyone a Merry Christmas.

The hum of conversation fills the room as people begin to stand up. Several people in the audience – journalists, presumably – leap out of their seats to go outside. Jordan is pleased, but very surprised. Leo still can’t believe it. They steal short glances at each other. Jordan chuckles softly to herself.

LEO: What the hell…?

JORDAN: [shakes her head] I don’t know. [They both stand up.] We have two weeks.

A woman who’s been sitting behind Jordan hands her a coat. Leo leans against his chair.

LEO: I really had to tell you the damn story?

JORDAN: Shut up. I’m going to dinner with you.

She starts to leave, passing Margaret, who’s standing behind Leo.

LEO: [softly] Yeah. [pauses, turns to look at her] Well, listen.

JORDAN: What?

LEO: You wanna do it tomorrow night instead?

JORDAN: What’s tomorrow night?

LEO: It’s Christmas Eve.

JORDAN: [pauses, smiles, nods] Okay.

LEO: [smiles] Okay.

Jordan walks off into the crowd. Leo gathers his things from the table and glances up at the committee dais. Cliff is standing behind his chair, also gathering his things. They meet each other’s gaze for several long moments. Cliff looks away first, then quickly leaves. Leo seems to realize what – or who – may have stopped the hearing. Then he turns around toward Margaret, who’s been chatting amiably with someone. Slowly, they walk out of the hearing room together.

What I like about this is how it’s all character-driven; this is the type of development that can only happen to someone with a specific problem, and what happens when previous bad choices we barely remember come back to haunt us in odd ways that we never could have seen coming.

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Film Quote Friday (Saturday edition)

Well, it didn’t take long for me to miss a day on this feature, did it? Oops! Thursday was largely taken up by a reinstallation of Windows on the Main Library Computer here at Casa Jaquandor, and Friday was one of those up-at-oh-dark-thirty early-starts-at-work days, followed by a longer than usual nap and generally letting my brain just slosh around in my brain pan for the rest of the night. Not great for blogging. Anyway, this is one of my favorite movies:

I remember when this came out, the advertising was all about Jack Nicholson’s Melvin Udall, who was billed as Archie Bunker with the offensiveness dialed up to eleven, and the film itself billed as a typical “grumpy mean guy learns to love” tale or something of that nature. And yes, it is that, but the movie is a lot more intelligent and insightful about it than that basic plot description makes it sound. It’s not just about Melvin and his goofy infatuation with his server (Carol Connelly, played by Helen Hunt) at the restaurant on which he has chosen to inflict his aggressive OCD tendencies, and very early on the film affords us glimpses into Melvin that suggest that there’s a lot more than just jerkiness going on under his skin — such as the look on his face when he slips up and says something to Carol that’s way over the line, and he realizes it’s way over the line before she tells him point-blank how over the line it was.

Anyway, As Good As It Gets is chock-full of quotable dialog, some of which has become fairly well-known over the years. I’m sure the movie will show up again on this feature, but for now, here’s a wonderful scene that gets overlooked. What’s happening here is that Melvin has been strong-armed into taking his gay artist neighbor, Simon, to Baltimore so Simon can beg his estranged parents for money. Sensing an opportunity, Melvin then convinces Carol to go along, which she does, because she’s desperate for a chance to see something other than the restaurant where she works, the apartment where she lives, and the hospital where she takes her sickly son. The problem, for Melvin, is that Carol and Simon quickly form a friendly connection that Melvin sees as some kind of threatening: not a romantic rivalry, per se, but a competition for time with Carol that he feels is rightly his. And Melvin can’t help himself but inject some of his own insight, which the film treats brilliantly as both annoying and partly true.

I think that’s a big reason why this movie is so good: Melvin can be annoying and offensive and downright full of shit, but there are times when it’s clear that he’s also right, at least in part. This is one of them.

EXT. ROAD - DAY

 A short time later. Carol is now driving.

      CAROL
      I'm sure, Simon, they did 
      something real off for you to feel 
      this way... But when it comes to 
      your partners -- or your kid -- 
      things will always be off for you 
      unless you set it straight. Maybe 
      this thing happened to you just to 
      give you that chance.

      MELVIN
      Nonsense!

      CAROL
      Anybody here who's interested in 
      what Melvin has to say raise their 
      hands.

 Simon does not raise his hand. Simon and Carol have thus 
 declared their majority.

      SIMON
      Do you want to know what happened 
      with my parents?

      CAROL
      Yes. I really would.

      SIMON
      Well... 

      CAROL
      No, let me pull over so I can pay 
      full attention.

 Car pulling over toward parking spot.

 EXT. HIGHWAY - CURBSIDE - CONVERTIBLE - DAY

 She takes the car curbside and parks.

      CAROL
      Now go ahead.

 Simon looks back at Melvin as does Carol. He looks 
 innocent. Several beats -- Melvin almost says something 
 -- a hidden hand gesture from Carol stops him. Finally.

      SIMON
      Well, I always painted. Always. 
      And my mother always encouraged 
      it. She was sort of fabulous 
      about it actually... and she used 
      to... I was too young to think 
      there was anything at all wrong 
      with it... and she was very 
      natural. She used to pose nude 
      for me... and I thought or assumed 
      my father was aware of it.

      MELVIN
      This stuff is pointless.

      CAROL
      Hey -- you let him... 

      MELVIN
      You like sad stories -- you want 
      mine.

      CARL
      Stop. Go ahead, Simon. Really. 
      Please. Don't let him stop you. Ignore him.

      SIMON
      Okay. Well, one day my father 
      came in on one of those painting 
      sessions when I was nine -- and he 
      just started screaming at her -- 
      at us -- at evil. And... 

      MELVIN
       (very quickly)
  ... my father didn't leave his 
  room for 11 years -- he hit my 
  hand with a yardstick if I made a 
  mistake on the piano.

      CAROL
      Go ahead, Simon. Your father 
      walked in on you and was yelling 
      and... really, come on.

      SIMON
      I was trying to defend my mother 
      and make peace, in the lamest way. 
      I said, "she's not naked -- it's 
      art." And then he started hitting 
      me. And he beat me unconscious. 
      After that he talked to me less 
      and less -- he knew before I left 
      for college, my dad came into my 
      room. He held out his hand. It 
      was filled with money. A big wad 
      of sweaty money.
       (gathers himself)
      And he said to me, "I don't want 
      you to ever come back." I grabbed 
      him and I hugged him... He turns 
      and walked out.

 Carol, whose life has been rugged but basic, feels as 
 strange as she does moved by Simon's trauma which is so 
 much more complicated than her meat and potatoes 
 troubles. She looks out her window -- then kisses her 
 fingers and touches them to Simon's cheek. A nice, 
 understated, gesture of friendship.

      CAROL
      Well, you know -- I still stay 
      what I said. You've got to get 
      past it all when it comes to your 
      parents. We all have these horror 
      stories to get over.

 Melvin shifts INTO the FRAME.

      MELVIN
      That's not true. Some of us have 
      great stories... pretty stories 
      that take place at lakes with 
      boats and friends and noodle 
      salad. Just not anybody in this 
      car. But lots of people -- that's 
      their story -- good times and 
      noodle salad... and that's what 
      makes it hard. Not that you had 
      it bad but being that pissed that 
      so many had it good.

      CAROL
      No.

      SIMON
      Not it at all, really.

      MELVIN
       (a veteran's irony)
      Not at all, huh?!... Let's go to 
      the hotel. And if you're lucky 
      tomorrow Dad will give you another 
      wad of sweaty money.

That metaphor cracks me up: “Good times, noodle salad”. I just love the idea of a mind wired so that a primary image of someone living a life of relative happiness involves noodle salad.

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Film Quote Friday

Yup, it’s baseball! Specifically, my favorite baseball movie of all time, Bull Durham. I won’t wax totally poetic about the movie, having done that before, but…I’ve got baseball on the brain. Why?

Well, I have a friend at work whose favorite hobby is collecting sports autographs. And while he does buy signed items from memorabilia stores and online, he does most of the legwork himself: he goes to the ballpark and the arena and the stadium and various other places and gets stuff signed himself. He’s got a ton of great stories about the hobby and the thrill of the autograph chase, such as a time he and some friends went into a hotel bar, one at a time, to get Jim Plunkett, the onetime Raiders quarterback (and two-time Super Bowl MVP), to sign. The punchline that night was the last guy, who went up to him with a photo of a Raiders quarterback wearing number 16…only to have Plunkett tell him, “That’s not me.” He’d approached Plunkett with a photo of George Blanda.

Anyway, this weekend my friend has a shot at getting the autograph of the oldest active athlete in his collection: baseball pitcher Jamie Moyer. Moyer is 49 years old, and after starting the season with the Rockies and getting cut, signed a minor-league deal with the Orioles this week. They sent him to AAA Norfolk, who play this weekend at Buffalo against our Bisons. Moyer is scheduled to pitch tomorrow.

Moyer was born with JFK was President, less than a year after my parents were married. He made his Major League debut on June 16, 1986, when Ronald Reagan was President. The top movie at the box office the week of Moyer’s debut was Back to School, starring Rodney Dangerfield. And even though Moyer made his MLB debut in 1986, he would not win his first World Series ring until 2008, when he pitched with the Phillies.

What does this have to do with Bull Durham? Well, there’s something Crash Davis-esque in Moyer’s refusal to retire before he’s damned good and ready. As Annie Savoy says in the film after Crash gets cut by the Durham Bulls and travels to the next town down the road to try to catch on with another team in a slightly smaller, slightly crappier ballpark, “You have to respect a ballplayer whose just trying to finish the season.”

Of course, Jamie Moyer is something of the opposite of Crash Davis; if Crash is the guy who keeps playing and playing and playing and yet he can’t quite crack the Majors, Moyer’s the guy who keeps playing and playing and playing and the Majors can’t get rid of him. Moyer’s never been a great pitcher, but he’s been solid enough for long enough, and a baseball rotation isn’t worth anything if it doesn’t have a solid guy going up there every fifth day so the staff ace’s arm doesn’t fall off.

Anyway, here’s a great scene from Bull Durham. Tough to pick one, as the movie has nothing but great scenes.

CRASH COMING OUT OF THE SHOWER -- Toweling off, watching the 
               innocent, vulgar fun. He sits down in front of his locker, 
               drying his hair, when the CLUBHOUSE BOY approaches:

                                     CLUBHOUSE BOY
                         Hey, Crash -- Skip wants to see ya.

               CRASH RISES AND HEADS FOR SKIP'S CUBICLE -- Wearing only a 
               towel and his shower shoes.

                                                                    CUT TO:

               INSIDE SKIP'S OFFICE -- Skip and Larry sit in postgame 
               routine, checking charts, smoking, half dressed.

               CRASH ENTERS as he's still drying off.

                                     CRASH
                         Yeah, Skip, you wanted to see me?

                                     SKIP
                         Crash, shut the door.

               And it hits him. Crash looks at Skip, who looks down at the 
               floor, unwilling to face Crash who then looks at Larry, who 
               also looks away nervously.

               CRASH SHUTS THE DOOR -- The party rages beyond.

                                     SKIP
                              (heartfelt)
                         This is the toughest job a manager 
                         has...

               CLOSE ON CRASH -- He's been in the game too long to be 
               surprised; nonetheless, he's surprised. And hurt. His stoicism 
               is professional.

                                     SKIP
                         The organization wants to make a 
                         change... now that Nuke's gone they 
                         wanta bring up some young catcher...

                                     LARRY
                         Some kid hittin' .300 in Lynchburg... 
                         probably a bust.

                                     SKIP
                         I put in a word for you with the 
                         organization -- told 'em I thought 
                         you'd make a fine minor league manager 
                         someday... Might be an opening at 
                         Salem next year --

               EXTREME CLOSE UP ON CRASH -- His eyes are moist.

                                     SKIP
                         Helluva year, Crash -- you know how 
                         it is.

               Silence.

               Crash stands there nearly nude. He just nods slightly. Without 
               rancor or bitterness, he turns and re-enters the raucous 
               locker room.


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Film Quote Friday

In honor of Morgan Freeman, who turns 75 today, here’s a bit from my favorite thing he’s done. (Which is probably everybody‘s favorite thing he’s done, but…)

Here’s the first scene where Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) starts to bend prison life to his will, manipulating prison guard Vernon Hadley (Clancy Brown), with Red Redding (Freeman) narrating. (Via.)

                  HADLEY 
  ...so this shithead lawyer calls 
  long distance from Texas, and he 
  says, Byron Hadley? I say, yeah. He 
  says, sorry to inform you, but your 
  brother just died. 

    YOUNGBLOOD 
  Damn, Byron. Sorry to hear that. 

    HADLEY 
  I ain't. He was an asshole. Run off 
  years ago, family ain't heard of him 
  since. Figured him for dead anyway. 
  So this lawyer prick says, your 
  brother died a rich man. Oil wells 
  and shit, close to a million bucks. 
  Jesus, it's frigging incredible how 
  lucky some assholes can get. 

    TROUT 
  A million bucks? Jeez-Louise! You 
  get any of that? 

    HADLEY 
  Thirty five thousand. That's what 
  he left me. 

    TROUT 
  Dollars? Holy shit, that's great! 
  Like winnin' a lottery... 
   (off Hadley's shitty look) 
  ...ain't it? 

    HADLEY 
  Dumbshit. What do you figger the 
  government's gonna do to me? Take a 
  big wet bite out of my ass, is what. 

    TROUT 
  Oh. Hadn't thought of that. 

    HADLEY 
  Maybe leave me enough to buy a new 
  car with. Then what happens? You 
  pay tax on the car. Repairs and 
  maintenance. Goddamn kids pesterin' 
  you to take 'em for a ride... 

    MERT 
  And drive it, if they're old enough. 

    HADLEY 
  That's right, wanting to drive it, 
  wanting to learn on it, f'Chrissake! 
  Then at the end of the year, if you 
  figured the tax wrong, they make 
  you pay out of your own pocket. 
  Uncle Sam puts his hand in your 
  shirt and squeezes your tit till 
  it's purple. Always get the short 
  end. That's a fact. 
   (spits over the side) 
  Some brother. Shit. 

 The prisoners keep spreading tar, eyes on their work. 

    HEYWOOD 
  Poor Byron. What terrible fuckin' 
  luck. Imagine inheriting thirty 
  five thousand dollars. 

    RED 
  Crying shame. Some folks got it 
  awful bad. 

 Red glances over -- and is shocked to see Andy standing up,
 listening to the guards talk. 

    RED 
  Hey, you nuts? Keep your eyes on 
  your pail! 

 Andy tosses his Padd in the bucket and strolls toward Hadley.

    RED 
  Andy! Come back! Shit! 

    SNOOZE 
  What's he doing? 

    FLOYD 
  Gettin' himself killed. 

    RED 
  God damn it... 

    HEYWOOD 
  Just keep spreadin' tar... 

 The guards stiffen at Andy's approach. Youngblood's hand goes
 to his holster. The tower guards CLICK-CLACK their rifle 
 bolts. Hadley turns, stupefied to find Andy there. 

    ANDY 
  Mr. Hadley. Do you trust your wife? 

    HADLEY 
  That's funny. You're gonna look 
  funnier suckin' my dick with no 
  fuckin' teeth. 

    ANDY 
  What I mean is, do you think she'd 
  go behind your back? Try to 
  hamstring you? 

    HADLEY 
  That's it! Step aside, Mert. This 
  fucker's havin' hisself an accident. 

 Hadley grabs Andy's collar and propels him violently toward
 the edge of the roof. The cons furiously keep spreading tar.

    HEYWOOD 
  Oh God, he's gonna do it, he's 
  gonna throw him off the roof... 

    SNOOZE 
  Oh shit, oh fuck, oh Jesus... 

    ANDY 
  Because if you do trust her, there's 
  no reason in the world you can't 
  keep every cent of that money. 

 Hadley abruptly jerks Andy to a stop right at the edge. In 
 fact, Andy's past the edge, beyond his balance, shoetips 
 scraping the roof. The only thing between him and an ugly drop
 to the concrete is Hadley's grip on the front of his shirt.

    HADLEY 
  You better start making sense. 

    ANDY 
  If you want to keep that money, all 
  of it, just give it to your wife. 
  See, the IRS allows you a one-time- 
  only gift to your spouse. It's good 
  up to sixty thousand dollars. 

    HADLEY 
  Naw, that ain't right! Tax free? 

    ANDY 
  Tax free. IRS can't touch one cent. 

 The cons are pausing work, stunned by this business discussion.

    HADLEY 
  You're the smart banker what shot 
  his wife. Why should I believe a 
  smart banker like you? So's I can 
  wind up in here with you? 

    ANDY 
  It's perfectly legal. Go ask the 
  IRS, they'll say the same thing. 
  Actually, I feel silly telling you 
  all this. I'm sure you would have 
  investigated the matter yourself. 

    HADLEY 
  Fuckin'-A. I don't need no smart 
  wife-killin' banker to show me where 
  the bear shit in the buckwheat. 

    ANDY 
  Of course not. But you will need 
  somebody to set up the tax-free 
  gift, and that'll cost you. A 
  lawyer, for example... 

    HADLEY 
  Ambulance-chaaing, highway-robbing 
  cocksuckers! 

    ANDY 
  ...or come to think of it, I 
  suppose I could set it up for you. 
  That would save you some money. 
  I'll write down the forms you need, 
  you can pick them up, and I'll 
  prepare them for your signature... 
  nearly free of charge. 
   (off Hadley's look) 
  I'd only ask three beers apiece for 
  my co-workers, if that seems fair. 

    TROUT 
   (guffawing) 
  Co-workers! Get him! That's rich, 
  ain't it? Co-workers... 

 Hadley freezes him with a look. Andy presses on: 

    ANDY 
  I think a nan working outdoors 
  feels more like a man if he can 
  have a bottle of suds. That's only 
  my opinion. 

 The convicts stand gaping, all pretense of work gone. They
 look like they've been pole-axed. Hadley shoots them a look.

    HADLEY 
  What are you jimmies starin' at? 
  Back to work, goddamn it! 

59 EXT -- LICENSE PLATE FACTORY -- DAY (1949) 59

 As before, an object is hauled up the side of the building by
 rope -- only this time, it's a cooler of beer and ice. 

    RED (V.O.) 
  And that's how it came to pass, 
  that on the second-to-last day of 
  the job, the convict crew that 
  tarred the plate factory roof in 
  the spring of '49... 

60 EXT -- ROOF -- SHORTLY LATER (1949) 60

 The cons are taking the sun and drinking beer. 

    RED (V.O.) 
  ...wound up sitting in a row at ten 
  o'clock in the morning, drinking icy 
  cold Black Label beer courtesy of 
  the hardest screw that ever walked 
  a turn at Shawshank State Prison. 

    HADLEY 
  Drink up, boys. While it's cold. 

    RED (V.O.) 
  The colossal prick even managed to 
  sound magnanimous. 

 Red knocks back another sip, enjoying the bitter cold on his
 tongue and the warm sun on face. 

    RED (V.O.) 
  We sat and drank with the sun on 
  our shoulders, and felt like free 
  men. We could'a been tarring the
 roof of one of our own houses. We 
 were the Lords of all Creation. 

 He glances over to Andy squatting apart from the others.

    RED (V.O.) 
  As for Andy, he spent that break 
  hunkered in the shade, a strange 
  little smile on his face, watching 
  us drink his beer. 

    HEYWOOD 
   (approaches with a beer) 
  Here's a cold one, Andy. 

    ANDY 
  No thanks. I gave up drinking. 

 Heywood drifts back to others, giving them a look. 

    RED (V.O.) 
  You could argue he'd done it to 
  curry favor with the guards. Or 
  maybe make a few friends among us 
  cons. Me, I think he did it just to 
  feel normal again...if only for a 
  short while.


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