Tag: Fixing the Prequels: AOTC

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Okeyday, wesa back!

Continuing with our script-doctoring of Attack of the Clones, Obi Wan and Anakin have just apprehended the assassin who was trying to kill Padme, only to have that assassin killed by the toxic dart possibly fired by someone wearing a rocket jet pack. After that sequence is done, we cut to the next morning, when Obi Wan and Anakin report to the Jedi Council on what’s been going on:

INTERIOR: JEDI TEMPLE, COUNCIL CHAMBER – DAY

OBI-WAN and ANAKIN stand in the center of the Council Chamber. The members of the Jedi Council are seated in a circle surrounding the two Jedi.

YODA: Track down this bounty hunter, you must, Obi-Wan.

MACE WINDU: Most importantly, find out who he’s working for.

OBI-WAN: What about Senator Amidala? She will still need protecting.

YODA: Handle that, your Padawan will.

MACE WINDU: Whoever hired the assassin you caught last night will certainly hire another and another until the job is done, so until Obi Wan can get to the bottom of this plot, you, Anakin, will escort the Senator back to her home planet of Naboo. She’ll be safer there. And don’t use registered transport. Travel as refugees.
Anakin tries to conceal his eagerness at this assignment.

ANAKIN: As the leader of the opposition, it will be very difficult to get Senator Amidala to leave the Capital.

YODA: Until caught this killer is, our judgment she must respect.

ANAKIN: She may need more convincing than the judgment of the Jedi Council.

MACE WINDU: Anakin, go to the Senate and ask Chancellor Palpatine to speak with her.

The two Jedi exit the Council Chamber.

Here’s where I’d make an addition. There was an exchange between Yoda and Mace Windu that happened earlier in the script, but didn’t happen in the film. I mentioned it in the last installment, and here’s where I’d put it. After Obi Wan and Anakin leave the Council Chamber:

MACE WINDU: Two attacks on the Senator, and we still cannot see who is behind this?

YODA: Masking the future, is this disturbance in the Force.

MACE WINDU: The prophecy is coming true, and the Dark Side is growing. It’s been ten years, and the Sith still have yet to show themselves.

YODA: …Out there, they are. A certainty that is.

This scene, and several that follow, are basically scene-setting talking scenes, without much to really address in terms of outright “fixes”. In the scene above, I only add a couple of lines to clear up the nature of the danger Padme still faces.

Next, Anakin goes to Palpatine to ask him to basically order Padme to go home incognito. I like this scene a great deal and wouldn’t change it at all. Here’s the scene:

INTERIOR: SENATE BUILDING, PALPATINE’S OFFICE – DAY

ANAKIN and PALPATINE stand at the window of PALPATINE’S office and look out over the vast city.

PALPATINE: I will talk to her. Senator Amidala will not refuse an executive order. I know her well enough to assure you of that.

ANAKIN: Thank you, your Excellency.

PALPATINE: And so, my young Padawan, they have finally given you an assignment. Your patience has paid off.

ANAKIN: Your guidance more that my patience.

PALPATINE: You don’t need guidance, Anakin. In time you will learn to trust your feelings. Then you will be invincible. I have said it many times, you are the most gifted Jedi I have ever met.

PALPATINE and ANAKIN turn away from the window and walk through PALPATINE’S office towards the door.

ANAKIN: Thank you, your Excellency.

PALPATINE: I see you becoming the greatest of all the Jedi, Anakin. Even more powerful than Master Yoda.

What’s good here is how much is established in a very brief conversation. Anakin has a relationship with Palpatine that has clearly been blossoming for some time; clearly Palpatine wasn’t just gilding the lily at the end of TPM when he told young Anakin that he’d be following Anakin’s career with “great interest”. This establishes that Palpatine has taken a hands-on approach with Anakin, even as Anakin has been learning of the Force.

Also, this exchange establishes that Anakin, the once fatherless boy, now has not one but two father figures in his life, Obi Wan and Palpatine, who are deeply divergent figures to begin with (even before it turns out that Palpatine is a Sith Lord). Anakin is constantly being pulled in two directions, which is what ultimately creates the conflict within him that first leads him to embrace the Dark Side and, much later, to reject it. There’s a lot of this kind of subtlety woven throughout the Prequel Trilogy; it’s too bad that Lucas never gets credit for it.

This exchange doesn’t just establish that Anakin has two father figures, but also establishes the different approaches those two father figures take in Anakin’s upbringing. Obi Wan is the stern taskmaster much of the time, constantly focusing on Anakin’s errors and his need for control, while Palpatine is all about enabling Anakin, praising him, feeding his ego. Palpatine knows what he’s doing, after all. He’s planting the seeds in Anakin’s eventual fall from grace.

After this scene, we cut back to the Jedi temple, where Obi Wan is conferring with Yoda and Mace Windu:

INTERIOR: JEDI TEMPLE, ATRIUM – DAY

MACE WINDU and OBI-WAN walk along the Temple corridors. YODA accompanies them, riding in a small floating chair.

OBI-WAN: I am concerned for my Padawan. He is not ready to be given this assignment on his own yet.

YODA: The Council is confident in this decision, Obi-Wan.

MACE WINDU: The boy has exceptional skills.

OBI-WAN: But he still has much to learn, Master. His abilities have made him… well, arrogant.

YODA: Yes, yes. It’s a flaw more and more common among Jedi. Too sure of themselves they are. Even the older, more experienced ones.

MACE WINDU: Remember, Obi-Wan. If the prophecy is true, your apprentice is the only one who can bring the Force back into balance.

OBI-WAN: If he follows the right path.

While this scene is always cool to watch, what with the giant atrium of the Temple and Yoda hanging out on his floating chair, the scene doesn’t really accomplish anything. Obi Wan’s misgivings should be addressed, but not here, I don’t think. I would actually cut this entirely, and instead cut from Anakin’s meeting with Palpatine to his scene with Padme in the apartment. Here’s that scene, as written by Lucas and Hales, with a few notations of mine scattered within:

INTERIOR: APARTMENT BUILDING, AMIDALA’S APARTMENT – DAY

ANAKIN looks as PADMÉ and JAR JAR talk, standing near the door of the anteroom to PADMÉ’S bedroom. DORMÉ moves about packing luggage.

PADMÉ: I’m taking an extended leave of absence. It will be your responsibility to take my place in the Senate. Representative Binks, I know I can count on you.

JAR JAR: Mesa honored to be taken on dissa heavy burden. (pompously) Mesa accept this with muy muy humility and da…

PADMÉ: Jar Jar. I don’t wish to hold you up. I’m sure you have a great deal to do.

JAR JAR: Of course, M’Lady.

JAR JAR bows and goes out. PADMÉ walks briskly to ANAKIN. She is in a very bad mood.

ANAKIN: I’m sure that he’ll do fine–

PADMÉ: (cutting him off) I do not like this idea of hiding. Had I known it would have come to this, I would never have agreed to Jedi protection.

Anakin tries not to look stung by this.

ANAKIN: Don’t worry, now that the Council has ordered an investigation, it won’t take Master Obi-Wan long to find this bounty hunter.

PADMÉ: (frustrated) I haven’t worked for a year to defeat the Military Creation Act not to be here when its fate is decided!

ANAKIN: Sometimes we have to let go of our pride and do what is requested of us.

PADMÉ: Pride?!? Annie, you’re young, and you don’t have a very firm grip on politics. I suggest you reserve your opinions for some other time.

[NOTE: I like this reaction of Padme’s. It wasn’t in the movie, but I like that she’s willing to bite back at Anakin, and it further shows that she’s not seeing him as a grown-up yet.]

ANAKIN: Sorry, M’Lady. I was only trying to…

PADMÉ: (trying to shut him up) Annie, please–

ANAKIN: (suddenly angry) Don’t call me that.

PADMÉ: What?

ANAKIN: “Annie.”

PADMÉ: I’ve always called you that… it is your name, isn’t it?

ANAKIN: It’s Anakin. When you say Annie it’s like I’m still a little boy… and I’m not.

[NOTE: I like this bit, too. Padme does, over the course of the movie, stop calling Anakin “Annie”, and this gives that a bit of context. I like that he’s basically asking her to see him as more than the little boy from ten years before. That’s how it should be.]

PADMÉ: I’m sorry, Anakin. It’s impossible to deny you’ve…(looks him over) …that you’ve grown up.

PADMÉ smiles at ANAKIN. He becomes a little shy.

ANAKIN: Well…Master Obi-Wan manages not to see it…

PADMÉ: Mentors have a way of seeing more of our faults than we would like. It’s the only way we grow.

ANAKIN: Don’t get me wrong… Obi-Wan is a great mentor, as wise as Master Yoda and as powerful as Master Windu. I am truly thankful to be his apprentice. Only… although I’m a Padawan learner, in some ways… a lot of ways… I’m ahead of him. I’m ready for the trials. I know I am! He knows it too. But he feels I’m too unpredictable… Other Jedi my age have gone through the trials and made it… I know I
started my training late… but he won’t let me move on.

PADMÉ: That must be frustrating.

ANAKIN: It’s worse… he’s overly critical! He never listens! He just doesn’t understand. It’s not fair!

PADMÉ cannot suppress a laugh. She shakes her head.

PADMÉ: I’m sorry… You sounded exactly like that little boy I once knew, when he didn’t get his way.

ANAKIN: I’m not whining! I’m not.

[NOTE: I’d ditch this last line, just have him glare at her.]

PADMÉ just smiles at him. DORMÉ laughs in the background.

PADMÉ: I didn’t say it to hurt you.

ANAKIN: I know…

There is a brief silence, then PADMÉ comes over to ANAKIN.

PADMÉ: Anakin…

They look into each other’s eyes for the first time.

PADMÉ: Don’t try to grow up too fast.

ANAKIN: I am grown up. You said it yourself.

ANAKIN looks deep into PADMÉ’S eyes.

PADMÉ: Please don’t look at me like that.

ANAKIN: Why not?

PADMÉ: Because I can see what you’re thinking.

ANAKIN: (laughing) Ahh… So, you have Jedi powers too?

DORMÉ is watching with concern.

PADMÉ: It makes me feel uncomfortable.

ANAKIN: Sorry, M’Lady.

ANAKIN backs away as PADMÉ turns and goes back to her packing.

Once again I wonder if some stuff got edited out after filming, or if the scene was filmed the way it showed up in the film. Some stuff just isn’t in the movie, and reading this over, I think that the scene works better as written rather than as shot. For one thing, Anakin’s sudden complaint about Obi Wan’s tutelage has a bit better context, in terms of the scene; he’s confident at first, but the conversation quickly goes into areas he’s not nearly as confident about, so he blunders a bit. His defenses down and his feigned confidence shaken, he slips into complaining about his feelings about his lack of progress as a Jedi (or what he sees as a lack of progress), then he can’t help but tip his hand about his attraction to Padme, and that line of Anakin’s in which he tries to recover some control my making light of what’s happening (“So, you have Jedi powers too?”). It feels more like a conversation here.

But I like how she points out that he sounds like the boy she knew, and I like how the script has Dorme hanging in the background, hearing what’s going on. Basically, though, I’m finding as I proceed in detail through these movies that a lot of these scenes actually work better as written than they did as eventually filmed or edited in the final movie, which leads me again to wonder if George Lucas’s drive to bring each movie in under a certain time limit (as far as running time) was his undoing when the films aren’t quite as successful as they could be.

(By the way: I love the visual with which this scene opens: hovering worker droids replacing the window that Obi Wan had jumped through the night before.)

Next we cut to one of Coruscant’s spaceports, where Padme and Anakin are about to leave for Naboo:

EXTERIOR: CORUSCANT, SPACEPORT FREIGHTER DOCKS, TRANSPORT
BUS – DAY

A small bus speeds toward the massive freighter docks of Coruscant’s industrial area. The spaceport is bustling with activity. Transports of various sizes move supplies and passengers as giant floating cranes lift cargo out of the starships. The bus stops before a huge, intergalactic freighter starship. It parks in the shadows of an overhang.

INTERIOR: CORUSCANT, SPACEPORT FREIGHTER DOCKS, TRANSPORT
BUS – DAY

ANAKIN and PADMÉ, dressed in Outland peasant outfits, get up and head for the door where CAPTAIN TYPHO, DORMÉ and OBI-WAN are waiting to hand them their luggage.

CAPTAIN TYPHO: Be safe, M’Lady.

PADMÉ: Thank you, Captain. Take good care of Dormé… The threat’s on you two now.

DORMÉ: He’ll be safe with me.

They laugh, and PADMÉ embraces her faithful handmaiden. DORMÉ starts to weep.

PADMÉ: You’ll be fine.

DORMÉ: It’s not me, M’Lady. I worry about you. What if they realize you’ve left the Capital?

PADMÉ: (looks to Anakin) Then my Jedi protector will have to prove how good he is.

DORMÉ and PADMÉ smile. ANAKIN frowns as OBI-WAN pulls him aside.

[NOTE: I like this last line. It should have been in the movie. Also, I should note that I like the actress who plays Dorme. She’s pretty and in this brief scene she does some nice things with facial expressions.]

OBI-WAN: Anakin. Don’t do anything without first consulting either myself or the Council.

ANAKIN: Yes, Master.

OBI-WAN: (to Padmé) I will get to the bottom of this plot quickly, M’Lady. You’ll be back here in no time.

PADMÉ: I will be most grateful for your speed, Master Jedi.

ANAKIN: Time to go.

PADMÉ: I know.

PADMÉ gives DORMÉ a last hug. ANAKIN picks up the luggage, and the TWO PEASANTS exit the speeder bus, where ARTOO is waiting for them.

OBI-WAN: Anakin, may the Force be with you.

ANAKIN: May the Force be with you, Master.

They head off toward the giant Starfreighter.

PADMÉ: Suddenly, I’m afraid…

ANAKIN: This is my first assignment on my own. I am too. (looking at Artoo) But don’t worry. We’ve got Artoo with us.

They laugh. OBI-WAN and CAPTAIN TYPHO watch ANAKIN and PADMÉ disappear into the vastness of the spaceport with ARTOO trundling along behind them.

OBI-WAN: I hope he doesn’t try anything foolish.

CAPTAIN TYPHO: I’d be more concerned about her doing something, than him.

EXTERIOR: FREIGHTER DOCKS – CORUSCANT – DAY

The freighter slowly takes off from the huge docks area of Coruscant. It soon moves into the crowded skies.

Two final notes here: I’ve always liked Anakin’s line “Don’t worry, we’ve got Artoo with us.” That’s a good line; after all, nothing’s ever as bad if you’ve got R2-D2 with you, right? And visually, the freighter that Padme and Anakin take from Coruscant to Naboo is one of my favorite starships in the entire PT. I love its dull exterior and the fact that it looks exactly like what it is: a big ship that takes stuff from one place to another. And John Williams’s scoring of the departure is a wonderful little cue.

That’s where we’ll leave off for now. In the next installment, we’ll look at the arrival on Naboo, as well as the adventures of Obi Wan Kenobi, Private Eye!

Excelsior, Star Warriors!!

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part one
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Wow, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? The hectic nature of the holiday season put this, and a couple of other ongoing blog projects, on hold, but now we’re into January and it’s time to get back to business.

Before I do, though, a reader wrote in regarding the Fixing the Prequels project:

Hello. Out of curiosity: The prequels ranked high on your Favorite Movies list, yet you’ve expended quite a bit of effort in making extensive changes. What gives?

I only ask this because The Phantom Menace and Revenge of the Sith are two of my favorite films, and if I were to rewrite them, it would feel like I’m waving a white flag to the bashers.

That’s a reasonable question. If I love the Prequel Trilogy (the PT) so much, why am I going to so much effort to examine their flaws? Well, it’s never been my contention that the Prequels are perfect. Far from it, actually; the PT is, as a rule, more problematic than the OT. I can’t really argue otherwise. But what I can argue – what I do argue – is that the PT’s flaws aren’t nearly as pronounced as most people think them to be, and that in fact the PT manages to rise above the flaws and tell a very compelling story. There is a lot in the PT that is not bad; in fact, there’s a lot in the PT that is downright good, and there’s a fair helping of stuff in the PT that is frankly great. This whole exercise is as much about addressing the real flaws as it’s about pointing out the numerous – and oft-ignored – strengths of the PT, and putting the flaws in a better context than “OMG, Jar Jar sucks and therefore everything George Lucas touches sucks and by extension the original films must have sucked as well except for the little bit of good stuff in them which is only there because Gary Kurtz was there to keep George from infecting everything with the LucasSuck Virus anyway.”

Look: there will always be people who can’t get beyond Jar Jar, or Anakin saying “Yippee!” or ever having been a kid in the first place (I suppose they’d rather that Darth Vader had popped into existence, fully adult and evil), but my feeling is that if you can see that Jar Jar really does undergo some character evolution, and that Anakin’s fall isn’t that unrealistic at all, then maybe you’ll see a lot of the better stuff in the PT that so often goes unnoticed.

Yes, there are many places in the PT where George Lucas makes some mistakes. Most of these are in the writing, but even so, it’s always seemed to me that the writing problems amount to fixing dialogue and explaining stuff and tying other things together. His story in the PT, the plot itself, seems to me pretty robust, which is another case I try to make.

On a more “meta” level, I’m reminded of something Leonard Bernstein once wrote – two things Leonard Bernstein wrote, actually. Both can be found in his wonderful book The Joy of Music. In one, Bernstein writes a dialogue between himself and a Broadway producer who can’t understand why Bernstein’s newest show (I’m guessing “On the Town”?) didn’t have a single hit in it. From this they go to discussing Gershwin, with Bernstein ripping apart the Rhapsody in Blue as being basically a series of jazz tunes dressed up in standard European orchestrations and tied together with cadenza-like passages and not a whole lot of real development of musical ideas. Bernstein’s interlocutor is stunned, saying, “But you love the Rhapsody! You’ve recorded it a bunch of times! How can you riddle something you love full of holes?” Lenny’s response is to note that what’s bad, structurally, about the Rhapsody in Blue doesn’t change the fact of the wonderful, wonderful tunes within it. What’s good in the Rhapsody is so good that it outweighs what’s wrong with it. (Earlier in the book, he makes a similar case regarding Beethoven, whose music has real, demonstrable flaws that don’t subtract from Beethoven’s stature as one of the towering figures of all human art.)

(This is paraphrased, obviously; Bernstein’s book can be read here, with the essay in which Gershwin comes up starting on page 52.)

Well, whether what’s good about the Prequel Trilogy is good enough to outweigh what isn’t good is open to debate. I think it is. The Pod Race, the battle with Darth Maul, the machinations of Senator Palpatine, and the meeting of Anakin and Padme are enough to make me forgive Jar Jar stepping in a pile of shit. And so on. This whole exercise is largely quixotic, but I am hoping that people who encounter it may look at the PT in maybe a little bit of new light.

Thanks to David for the question! And with that, let’s get back to Attack of the Clones.

We’ve just left our Jedi friends in Senator Amidala’s apartment as they make security preparations. We cut to a secret meeting between an assassin named Zam and a bounty hunter in armor that’s very familiar to Star Wars fans. Noting that they really need to get this job done, Jango Fett gives Zam a pair of presumably poisonous centipedes, which she then loads into a droid and sends on its way.

After that, in the script there’s a brief scene that didn’t make it into the movie. Back in the Jedi Temple, Yoda and Mace Windu have a brief discussion:

INTERIOR: JEDI TEMPLE, CORRIDOR – NIGHT

MACE WINDU and YODA walk down the long hallway, silhouetted by a lit room at the end.

MACE WINDU: Why couldn’t we see this attack on the Senator?

YODA: Masking the future, is this disturbance in the Force.

MACE WINDU: The prophecy is coming true, the Dark Side is growing.

YODA: And only those who have turned to the Dark Side can sense the possibilities of the future.

MACE WINDU: It’s been ten years, and the Sith still have yet to show themselves.

YODA: …Out there, they are. A certainty that is.

There is a long silence as they walk away. Only footsteps are heard.

I like this exchange, but its placement here seems odd, so I would not reinstate this scene here. Instead I’d convey this information later on, someplace else. More on that later.

Now we cut back to the Senator’s apartment, where she is sleeping while Obi Wan and Anakin maintain their watch. I’ve always enjoyed this part of the film, and I think the discussion of Anakin’s dreams of his mother would be better served if we’ve already seen one of those dreams, as I did in the last installment. They discuss the security arrangements, and they talk about Anakin’s dreams, which are deeply troubling him. This is the first spot, really, where the Jedi start to let Anakin down, isn’t it? Anakin’s suffering very vivid visions of his mother in terrible danger, and Obi Wan’s answer is basically “Well, just wait it out.” Throughout the PT, the Jedi have the incredibly bad habit of taking the wrong things seriously, turning left when they should be turning right, and paying rapt attention to what the right hand is doing at the expense of paying any heed at all to the left.

Obi Wan’s distrust of “politicians” is also interesting, in light of his later insistence (at the end of RotS) that his allegiances are to democracy and the Republic. The Jedi don’t seem to be terribly thoughtful agents of governance, which is another factor in their extremely quick downfall when it happens. Obi Wan cites Padme’s status as a politician as a reason why Anakin should not be attracted to her, which is fairly odd; one would think that Padme, at least, would have earned his respect during the Naboo affair. Thus, a bit of change is called for in the dialogue:

ANAKIN and OBI-WAN continue their conversation, moving out onto the apartment’s balcony.

OBI-WAN: You look tired.

ANAKIN: I don’t sleep well anymore.

OBI-WAN: Because of your mother?

ANAKIN: I don’t know why I keep dreaming about her now. I haven’t seen her since I was little.

OBI-WAN: Dreams pass in time.

ANAKIN: I’d rather dream of Padmé. Just being around her again is… intoxicating.

OBI-WAN: Be mindful of your thoughts, Anakin, they betray you. You’ve made a commitment to the Jedi Order… a commitment not easily broken… and don’t forget she’s a politician. They’re not to be trusted.

ANAKIN: How can you say that Padme is not to be trusted? After what happened ten years ago…you knew her then!

OBI WAN: I know. But that was ten years ago, and she’s spent the time since she was Queen in the Senate, which is something completely different. That kind of power can change a person.

ANAKIN: And you think she’s changed? Become power-hungry?

OBI WAN: It is something to fear with anyone in the Senate.

Something like that, I think.

You really have to wonder sometimes about the Jedi and love. The whole concept seems so alien to a lot of them, as though love is driven out of them at an early age in some way. This is never discussed at all in the PT, and I have no idea if the subject comes up in any “Extended Universe” books or materials, but once again I note the parallels (which George Lucas may not realize or have intended) between the Jedi and the Knights Templar, that famed band of monastic knights during the Crusades who were, among other things, sworn to celibacy. Anyhow, nobody other than Obi Wan has the slightest idea that Anakin harbors strong feelings of attraction toward Padme, and Obi Wan has no idea how to deal with those feelings at all. (He doesn’t do a whole lot better later on, when it’s Luke agonizing over whether to help Han and Leia. His, and Yoda’s, advice then remains the same: forsake them and follow the Jedi way. Maybe Luke Skywalker’s greatest triumph isn’t his making possible the redemption of Darth Vader; maybe it’s to demonstrate that love and being a Jedi aren’t mutually exclusive things?)

Back to AotC, though. I’ve always liked the way Lucas set up the entire “second assassination attempt” bit, with the probe droid cutting the window open, and Padme sleeping, and R2-D2 sweeping his eye around the room and not seeing anything while the two centipedes hide in the shadows. This whole sequence is really well done. (Odd, you know, since Lucas is such a hack director. I’m rolling my eyes, here.)

So the Jedi sense something amiss and burst in, where Anakin bisects the centipedes with his lightsaber (some very nice precision work with the blade there, too; an inch the other way and he slices Padme’s head open!), and Obi Wan leaps out the window to grab onto the probe droid. Next Anakin goes upstairs, grabs a speeder, and gives chase.

(Some hilarious bloopers from this sequence can be seen as an Easter Egg on the DVD. Hayden Christensen did a lot of wiping out when running across the sets; in one, he’s running out of Padme’s bedroom when he wipes out, leaving Natalie Portman and the other extras there laughing. There’s also a funny bit of Christensen getting too enthusiastic about “piloting” the speeder, pulling the control arm off the dashboard, and a terrific one of Ewan McGregor “piloting” the speeder and then shifting into a bit of “funky rhythm”. Anyway….)

Now, really, the entire Coruscant sky chase is, in my opinion, one terrific action sequence. Only a few problems exist here, for me. As usual, much of it is dialogue related. In the first place, this is where it becomes clear that Obi Wan addresses Anakin with some variant of “My young apprentice” or “My young Padawan” way too often, making a lot of the lines cumbersome. I’d eliminate a lot of that. And then there’s this exchange, which comes right after Anakin pilots his speeder so that a free-falling Obi Wan can land safely inside:

OBI-WAN: What took you so long?

ANAKIN: Oh, you know, Master, I couldn’t find a speeder I really liked, with an open cockpit… and with the right speed capabilities… and then you know I had to get a really gonzo color…

[This last bit about the color isn’t heard in the movie.]

They zoom upward in hot pursuit of ZAM as she fires out the open window at them with her laser pistol.

OBI-WAN: If you’d spend as much time working on your saber skills as you do on your wit, young Padawan, you would rival Master Yoda as a swordsman.

ANAKIN: I thought I already did.

OBI-WAN: Only in your mind, my very young apprentice. Careful!! Hey, easy!!

OK. If we’re going to have Anakin say something smart-assed, can’t we have him say something actually smart-assed? “I just wanted a speeder with the right speed capabilities”? Ugh, what a bad line. What would I do? Well, maybe something like:

OBI WAN: What took you so long?

ANAKIN: Well, Master, I decided to take into account everything you’ve ever said about my “impulse control” and not jump out the eight-hundredth floor window.

OBI WAN: The Living Force guided me to do that.

ANAKIN: And, thanks to me and this speeder, you’re still living. Which way did the assassin go?

OBI WAN: That way.

He points in a direction that is particularly heavy with sky traffic.

ANAKIN: Oh, good! I haven’t done this in a long time.

He steers the speeder straight into oncoming traffic, causing much consternation and uproar among the other pilots and generally wreaking havoc. Soon he is gaining on ZAM. Meanwhile, Obi Wan is hanging on for dear life.

OBI WAN: And there’s a reason you were punished severely the last time you did this!

ANAKIN: That was for fun, Master. This is Jedi business. Don’t worry, the Living Force is guiding me now.

I think that Lucas was going for banter between Obi Wan and Anakin, but a lot of the time it comes off as Obi Wan being the stick-in-the-mud teacher type. Now, that’s actually called for some of the time, but I think the tone trends too heavily in that direction.

Anyway, I’ve always liked the Coruscant skyline chase a lot, and there’s really not a whole lot I’d change, except perhaps for the exchange when it seems that Zam has given the Jedi the slip:

OBI-WAN: Well, you lost him.

ANAKIN: I’m deeply sorry, Master.

ANAKIN looks around front and back. He spots something. He seems to start counting to himself as he watches something below approach.

OBI-WAN: Well, this is some kind of shortcut. He went completely the other way!

ANAKIN: …Excuse me for a moment.

ANAKIN jumps out of the speeder. OBI-WAN looks down and sees Zam’s speeder about five stories below them cruising past.

OBI-WAN: I hate it when he does that.

ANAKIN miraculously lands on top of the Bounty Hunter’s speeder. The speeder wobbles under the impact. ZAM looks up and realizes what has happened.

That little exchange doesn’t quite work, because Obi Wan is reduced to being a terrible grump here. I’d replace it thusly:

Anakin brings the speeder to a sudden halt, hovering in midair in the midst of a bunch of buildings.

OBI WAN: We’re stopping? Did you lose him?

ANAKIN: Well–

OBI WAN: Did he go the other way?

ANAKIN: I don’t know yet.

OBI WAN: Well, why are we hovering here, then?

ANAKIN: I’m about to follow your example, Master.

OBI WAN: What?

Anakin grins at Obi Wan and then jumps out of the speeder, plummeting downward through the cityscape to end up landing directly on top of Zam’s speeder.

OBI WAN: I hate it when he does that.

Obi Wan takes the controls and continues the pursuit. Meanwhile, Anakin is pulling himself onto the top of Zam’s speeder.

The rest of the chase I’d leave as-is, all the way to the bar. One little moment I like is Anakin losing his lightsaber and Obi Wan snatching it out of the air, and the way that Obi Wan gives Anakin the mini-lecture about taking care of his lightsaber. (This, alert readers may recall, actually mirrors a scene from the original script of TPM, which I would have restored to that movie.) There’s the nice line of Obi Wan’s, “Why do I get the feeling you’re going to be the death of me?” After that line, there’s another exchange in which Anakin protests that Obi Wan is like a father to him; I’d actually cut that exchange, leaving Obi Wan’s line as it is. One problem I’ve noticed about George Lucas’s dialog writing is that it’s not so much that he writes bad dialog, but that he tends to overwrite his dialog, so perfectly good lines that would stand out as good lines get obscured because he adds more than he needs to.

(One common objection that always bugs me is the whole “People don’t talk like this” objection. Ummm…so what? Nobody talks in iambic pentameter, either, but that doesn’t render Shakespeare useless. And no, I’m not comparing Lucas to Shakespeare. I’m just saying that the actor’s job is to make it sound like that’s the way his or her character would talk. Nobody talks the way the people talk in The Lord of the Rings, either, but nobody complains there, because the illusion is better created of a world where people do talk like that. I’ve never had the fundamental objection to George Lucas’s dialog that many have, though. Even if a lot of it could withstand some fine-tuning.)

OK, now Obi Wan and Anakin are in the bar, looking for an assassin who is a changeling. I love the exchange that comes now:

ANAKIN: I think he’s a she… and I think she’s a changeling.

OBI-WAN: In that case be extra careful… (nods to the room) Go and find her.

OBI-WAN goes away.

ANAKIN: Where are you going, Master?

OBI-WAN: For a drink.

There’s something mischievous in Obi Wan’s eye as he goes off for his drink; it’s almost like he is sending Anakin to do the dirty work, but instead, he knows that the assassin will likely try to take him out first, since he’d just be standing there, nursing a drink. And that’s exactly what happens.

(Oh, the drug pusher that Obi Wan convinces Forcefully to “go home and rethink his life”? That’s one of my favorite bits in any one of the Star Wars movies. At the midnight screening on opening night, that bit got a huge laugh. Of course, it also had its detractors; I remember reading somewhere online someone whining that this was George Lucas taking a shot at cigarette smokers. Jeebus. The lengths to which some people will go to take offense at a Star Wars movie amaze me sometimes.)

So, while Obi Wan’s having his drink, Anakin is walking through the crowd, looking for the assassin who is in turn stalking Obi Wan. The way Lucas shot this sequence is terrific, especially the Anakin-POV shots of the bar crowd looking at the young Jedi approaching them and moving out of his way. It’s all right out of a Western, isn’t it? What’s really nice here is the way we get a real, solid glimpse into life in the Star Wars universe for people who aren’t involved in any kind of war, star war or otherwise. Plus, the whole sequence is full of little visual touches for the fans: one of the big-screen teevees in the bar is showing a pod race; the signage out front has a scrolling marquee of alien faces, one of whom is the triangular-headed guy from the cantina in ANH. And speaking of that cantina, there’s nice synchronicity in Obi Wan whipping out his lightsaber and chopping off the right arm of a blaster-wielding assailant in a bar, here in AOTC, which is something he’ll do again twenty-plus years later with his partner’s son at his side.

Great moment: the swagger in Anakin as he says to the bar patrons, “Jedi business. Go back to your drinks.” I do wish there’d been a bit of crowd reaction here; one area that the PT always seems to ignore is the public opinion regarding the Jedi. Are they beloved? Are they a shadowy group no one knows much about? How seriously are they taken? They can’t be held in too high a regard, since Palpatine manages to get the entire Galaxy behind the Jedi purge in RotS.

Now Obi Wan and Anakin drag the assassin into the alleyway for a bit of interrogation. There’s not much to be said about this scene, except that wow, Jango Fett sure managed to stake himself out on the perfect ledge overlooking this action, didn’t he? I don’t know, this doesn’t bother me much, but it could have been made a bit better perhaps by having a couple of shots throughout the chase of Jango following their progress, and maybe him coming to light upon the ledge as Obi Wan and Anakin come outside. As for the dialogue in this scene itself, I’d only make a small change. The assassin starts to confess after Anakin basically says “Tell us. Tell us now!” It seems a bit quick for her to confess, so I’d make a small change here:

ANAKIN: Who hired you? Tell us.

Zam only looks at him. Suddenly Anakin’s eye’s flash with anger and he snaps his wrist forward, grabbing firm hold on Zam’s neck in a strangle-hold.

ANAKIN: Tell us now!

OBI WAN: Anakin….

ZAM: It was a bounty hunter named agghhhhh….

A hissing sound heralds the arrival of a toxic dart in Zam’s neck. Zam dies without saying another word. Obi Wan carefully pulls the dart from Zam’s neck.

OBI WAN: Toxic dart, but how–

They hear the firing of thrusters and look up to see an armored man flying away from a ledge above them via a rocket-pack.

ANAKIN: We’re no closer to knowing who’s after Padme.

He gets up angrily and starts to walk up the alley, but Obi Wan stares at the dart.

OBI WAN: We know more than we did….

One final point here, before I wrap up this installment. One frequently-lauded aspect of the OT was the way everything looked lived-in and used; it wasn’t a sterile SFnal environment but instead looked like a real place where people lived and worked and got dirt under their fingernails and all that kind of stuff. The PT, however, made things look a lot shinier and nicer; at least, so went the complaint. I’m not convinced that’s totally true, but the environments in the PT do tend to shine more than their OT counterparts, at least for the most part. Tatooine is still a grungy place, of course. But Coruscant always seems so clean, right?

Except for this alleyway outside the bar where not many people go. Here, there’s a lot of garbage piled in the corners and the edges of the building; this suggests to me that the ultra-clean environment of Coruscant is something of a misnomer. Things are cleaner than they’re going to be in years to come, but they’re starting to slide a bit. I like that.

And on that note, we’ll wrap it up for this time. Next time we follow Inspector Obi Wan Kenobi as he goes off to do some detecting work, while Anakin plays bodyguard to the Senator. Excelsior!

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part one

Returning to Attack of the Clones, we’ve just left the Chancellor’s office where Palpatine has just prevailed upon Senator Amidala to accept the protection of the Jedi for the time being, after the attempt on her life. We also have already fleshed out the political situation a little more, giving more of a face and feel to the Separatist movement that threatens the Republic.

Now, we’re ready to meet our heroes: Obi Wan Kenobi, now a Jedi Master, and his Padawan learner, Anakin Skywalker.

In the film, we cut from the Chancellor’s office to the elevator on Senator Amidala’s building, where Anakin is really nervous. For a few reasons I’ll discuss afterward, though, I would add a bit of material before the elevator scene. Here’s what I would do:

EXT: Tatooine – The Dune Sea.

Riding across the Tatooine landscape on an eopie [those are the cow-like things on Tatooine, seen a few times in the PT] is SHMI SKYWALKER. She looks tense, nervous; something is wrong here. The appearance of the scene is glaring and washed out; this is a look to Tatooine that we haven’t seen before. There is no sound at all, until she crests one dune in particular and then the sand before her gives way, causing her eopie to slide down the deepening slope. Before her, at the bottom of a giant bowl of sand, opens the mouth of s SARLACC. Shmi screams in terror–

INT: Coruscant – Jedi temple – bedroom.

ANAKIN SKYWALKER suddenly awakens, his face covered with sweat and his breathing labored.

ANAKIN: Mother!

He’s just had a nightmare about his mother. He blinks, sips some water from a glass on the table next to his bed, and rises. Ten years older since we’ve las seen him, Anakin is tall, muscular, and confident in his motions. He gets a hold of himself and heads into the other room.

INT: Coruscant – Jedi Temple – living room.

Anakin walks into his sparsely furnished living room and moves to the exact center of the circular chamber, where he makes a Force gesture toward a lockbox that pops open, releasing the four REMOTE DROIDS that had been at rest inside. The remotes stream toward him, automatically assuming the attack; they bear down on Anakin and start firing their electro-shock rays at him. Instantly he drops to the floor and rolls to one side, summoning his lightsaber to his hand as he does so. Activating the blade, he begins to do battle with the remotes, deflecting their shots with his lightsaber and evading them with seeming ease. He smiles a little in self-satisfaction, when suddenly the remotes kick into a higher gear, bringing their attacks even faster now. Anakin keeps up, but the remotes increase speed again, and one manages to get a shot through Anakin’s defenses, zapping him on the shoulder. Anakin suddenly lunges in anger, bissecting the remote with one fast and mighty slash of his weapon. The other remotes zip away from him to hover in one corner of the room. Anakin prepares to charge them, when another lightsaber is activated and intercepts his own. Anakin, surprised by the new presence, turns to find himself face-to-face with his teacher, OBI WAN KENOBI.

ANAKIN: Obi Wan!

OBI WAN: They’re just remotes, Anakin. You don’t have to kill them every time.

ANAKIN: I’m sorry, Master.

OBI WAN: Did you know that you go through more remotes than any other two Jedi combined?

ANAKIN: You said it yourself, Master. They’re just remotes. I needed the practice. There wasn’t much action on Ansion.

OBI WAN: (mildly offended) There was plenty of action!

ANAKIN: For you! I had to stay and fix the ship after your so-called landing.

OBI WAN: And a fine job you did, my young Padawan. That ship’s never flown better.

ANAKIN: The Jedi aren’t mechanics. And did you turn up the intensity settings on my remotes? I didn’t do that!

Obi Wan gives him a sheepish grin and shrugs.

ANAKIN: How long have you been doing that? Why are you here, anyway? Shouldn’t you be practicing your piloting or something? We’re on leave….

OBI WAN: Not anymore. It seems that a certain high-ranking Republic dignitary is in need of Jedi protection, at the request of the Chancellor himself.

Anakin groans….

ANAKIN: Not another protection job, Master! All we ever do is stand around looking mean in the face of a threat that never materializes. Can’t Master Shak-ti take this one?

OBI WAN: No, it’s ours. As I said, we’ve been requested personally by the Chancellor. Meet me on the shuttle pad in thirty minutes. And you might want to touch up your hair.

ANAKIN: (touching his disheveled hair) Why?

OBI WAN: Oh, I just think you may find yourself more enthusiastic about this assignment once you know who we’re protecting. Thirty minutes.

Obi Wan turns and exits, leaving Anakin to puzzle over that last thing he said.

OK. What I’ve done here is, first of all, to try to turn up the banter between Anakin and Obi Wan. It’s important that we establish that their relationship isn’t just that of teacher/student, or father figure/son figure. They’re also friends; remember, many years later, when reminiscing about Anakin with Luke Skywalker in ROTJ, Obi Wan says that “Anakin was a good friend.” So we need to see more of that dynamic between them. (I do think that Lucas did a pretty good job in depicting that aspect of their relationship in the finished products; I just think it could have been highlighted even more.)

Also, I include a brief dream sequence. I always thought it a bit of a problem in AOTC that we don’t actually see any of Anakin’s dreams of Shmi’s danger; all that happens is that we’re told of them (and later we see Anakin in bed having the dream but not actually seeing the dream itself, a moment that’s awkward in another way – but we’ll get to that at a later time). I imagine George Lucas came to the same conclusion, since in RotS he would show us Anakin’s premonitions of Padme’s dolorous fate.

I also establish here that Anakin’s a man of action, and rather impulsive; he’s been on leave for mere hours and he’s hankering for action, and he’s got a bit of a problem in not giving in to anger. (Obviously that little aspect of his character will end up having some disastrous consequences later on.) I also take the opportunity to give a little glimpse into what daily life is like for a Jedi. It’s not all-lightsaber fights, all the time.

OK, now we cut to the elevator scene, which I always liked a lot, and only tweak just a bit, again to bump up the level of banter between Obi Wan and Anakin. Obviously now Anakin knows who they’re going to protect, and he’s a tad nervous about it. I always found it interesting, by the way, that Anakin’s now nervous about meeting Padme again; ten years before, he’d been serenely confident around her, having no problem at all telling her that she’s as beautiful as an angel and carving her a pendant out of wood and stuff like that. Now, he’s nervous. What’s changed? Well, he’s a teenager now. That’s awkward as hell, for all concerned.

(And by the way, before I get back to the script, let me say that I have no objections at all to Anakin Skywalker being an awkward teenager, even if he’s at the end of his teen years. A lot of fans have over the years objected to the Prequels on the basis that it’s just inconceivable that a villain as odious as Darth Vader could have his genesis in teen love, but that’s never bothered me at all. This was set up from the very beginning, really, when in ANH Obi Wan describes Vader to Luke as a person “a young Jedi who was a pupil of mine, before he turned to evil”, and the way Vader himself greets Obi Wan after twenty years by saying that he’s no longer a student but a master. OK? OK.)

Anyhow, the elevator scene:

INT: APARTMENT BUILDING ELEVATOR – TWILIGHT

ANAKIN and OBI-WAN ride in a windowed elevator attached to the outside of the Senate Building. They are on their way to SENATOR AMIDALA’S apartments. ANAKIN nervously rearranges his robes, which are spotlessly clean.

OBI WAN: I’ve never seen your robes that clean before.

Anakin says nothing; he just keeps fidgeting.

OBI WAN: Did you repair the stitching yourself? That’s nice work.

Anakin still says nothing.

OBI WAN: My robes could use some stitch repair as well.

Still nothing.

OBI-WAN: You seem a little on edge.

ANAKIN: Not at all.

OBI-WAN: “Not at all”? I haven’t felt you this tense since we fell into that nest of gundarks.

This grabs Anakin’s attention.

ANAKIN: You fell into that nightmare, Master, and I rescued you, remember?

OBI-WAN: Oh. Yes.

Obi Wan chuckles, knowingly, and Anakin realizes he’s been tricked into acting less fidgety. Anakin laughs as well.

OBI WAN: You’re sweating. Relax. Take a deep breath.

ANAKIN: I haven’t seen her in ten years, Master.

OBI-WAN: She’s not the Queen anymore, Anakin.

ANAKIN: That’s not why I’m nervous.

OBI WAN: Just remember, she’s not a remote, either. I’d hate to have to explain that to the Council.

ANAKIN: I’ll keep that in mind, Master.

Now we’re in the apartment, and here comes Jar Jar Binks!

INT: APARTMENT BUILDING, APARTMENT CORRIDOR – TWILIGHT

The door to the apartment slides open. JAR JAR walks into the corridor, where TWO JEDI are exiting the elevator. He recognizes OBI-WAN and becomes extremely excited, jumping around, shaking his hand.

JAR JAR: Obi! Obi! Obi! Mesa sooo smilen to seein yousa. Wahooooo!

OBI-WAN smiles.

OBI-WAN: It’s good to see you, too, Jar Jar.

JAR JAR notices OBI-WAN’S APPRENTICE.

JAR JAR: …and this, I take it, is your apprentice…Noooooooo! Annie? Noooooooo! Little bitty Annie? (Looks at Anakin) Noooooooo! Yousa so biggen! Yiyiyiyyi! Annie!!

ANAKIN: Hi, Jar Jar.

JAR JAR grabs hold of ANAKIN and envelops him in a big hug.

JAR JAR: Shesa expecting yousa. Annie… Mesa no believen!

They move toward the main living room of the apartment.

ANAKIN: You’re a diplomat now, Jar Jar?

JAR JAR: I am parten of de official Naboo delegation. Boss Nass himself appointed mesa.

ANAKIN: Not like battle, is it?

JAR JAR: Sometimes itsa worse!

INT: SENATE BUILDING, APARTMENT – EVENING

PADMÉ is in a conference with CAPTAIN TYPHO and DORMÉ. JAR JAR enters the room, followed by the TWO JEDI.

JAR JAR: Senator? Desa Jedi have arriven.

PADMÉ and TYPHO rise as OBI-WAN and ANAKIN stop before the SENATOR. OBI-WAN steps forward. ANAKIN stares at PADMÉ. She glances at him.

OBI-WAN: It’s a pleasure to see you again, M’Lady.

PADMÉ walks over to OBI-WAN and takes his hand in hers.

PADMÉ: It has been far too long Master Kenobi. I’m so glad our paths have crossed again… but I must warn you that I think your presence here is unnecessary.

OBI-WAN: I’m sure the Jedi Council has its reasons.

She moves in front of ANAKIN.

PADME: And your Padawan learner…(now she recognizes him) Annie? (stares) My goodness, you’ve grown.

They look at each other for a long moment.

ANAKIN: (trying to be smooth) So have you… grown more beautiful, I mean… and much shorter… for a Senator, I mean.

OBI-WAN looks disapprovingly at his apprentice. PADMÉ laughs and shakes her head.

PADMÉ: Oh Annie, you’ll always be that little boy I knew on Tatooine.

This embarrasses ANAKIN, and he looks down. OBI-WAN and CAPTAIN TYPHO smile. They all move toward the sitting area, Anakin rolling his eyes at himself as they do.

ANAKIN: (under his breath) You’ve grown “shorter”?

They all sit, Anakin and Obi Wan facing Padme and her assistant. Captain Typho remains standing, next to Jar Jar.

OBI-WAN: Our presence will be invisible, M’Lady, I can assure you.

CAPTAIN TYPHO: I’m very grateful you’re here, Master Kenobi. I’m Captain TYPHO, head of Her Majesty’s security service. Queen Jamillia has informed you of your assignment. The situation is more dangerous than the Senator will admit.

PADMÉ: I don’t need more security, I need answers. I want to know who is trying to kill me.

OBI-WAN: (frowning) We’re here to protect you Senator, not to start an investigation. That is a matter for–

ANAKIN: We will find out who’s trying to kill you Padmé, I promise you.

He’s looking earnestly into her eyes; only too late does he realize that Obi Wan is glaring at him. He’s done it again. He bites his lip in frustration and shame. OBI-WAN gives ANAKIN a dirty look.

OBI-WAN: We will not exceed our mandate, Anakin.

ANAKIN: I meant in the interest of protecting her, Master, of course.

OBI-WAN: We will not go through this exercise again, Anakin. And you will pay attention to my lead.

ANAKIN: Why?

OBI-WAN: What??!!

ANAKIN: Why else do you think we were assigned to protect her, if not to find the killer? Protection is a job for local security… not Jedi. It’s overkill, Master. Investigation is implied in our mandate.

OBI-WAN: We will do exactly as the Council has instructed, and you will learn your place, young one.

Now, finally, Anakin shuts up. Several awkward glances are exchanged throughout the room. Finally Padme decides to break the tension.

PADMÉ: Perhaps with merely your presence, the mysteries surrounding this threat will be revealed. Now, if you will excuse me, I will retire.

Everyone gives AMIDALA a slight bow as she and DORMÉ leave the room.

TYPHO: Well, I know I feel a lot better having you here. I’ll have an officer situated on every floor and I’ll be at the control center downstairs.

OBI WAN: What levels are above this one?

TYPHO: A speeder garage only, accessed by this stair….

Typho shows Obi Wan the door on the far wall leading to the roof; meanwhile Anakin turns to Jar Jar.

JAR JAR: Speakin’ out of turn? Mesa know that feeling. Are yousa sad?

ANAKIN: She hardly recognized me, Jar Jar. I’ve thought about her every day since we parted… and she’s forgotten me completely.

JAR JAR: Shesa happy. Happier den mesa seein her in longo time.

OBI-WAN: Anakin, you’re focusing on the negative again. Be mindful of your thoughts. She was pleased to see us.

ANAKIN: Master, I’m sorry for before.

OBI WAN: We will continue our long series of discussions of your impulse control later on, Anakin. For now, let’s check the security around here. Work will help you focus.

ANAKIN: Yes, my master.

For the most part, I’ve always liked this whole scene too. The only main fixes I’d make are to have Jar Jar’s speech be a bit more refined; he’s a diplomat now. I don’t imagine the diplomatic community on Coruscant would take him all that seriously if he were still wandering around jabbering and using words like “Okeyday!”. But I’d retain a little of his unique speech patterns, like “Mesa” and others.

I’d also highlight Anakin’s awkwardness, his awareness of his awkwardness, and his desire to impress Padme anew. Also, that bit I have there at the end, with Obi Wan referring to Anakin’s problems with “impulse control”, will come in handy in the next installment of this series.

So that’s where we’ll break off for now. Next time, the plot thickens as the assassin strikes again. Carry on, Star Warriors!

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Well, I suppose I’ve waited long enough, so it’s time to return to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away to pick my way through the second of the oft-derided, and in my view unfairly unappreciated, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy. So, bring ’em on: Attack of the Clones!

First, a couple of reminders from Fixing the Prequels: TPM:

1. I will be using these abbreviations throughout:

TPM = The Phantom Menace
AOTC = Attack of the Clones
ROTS = Revenge of the Sith
ANH = A New Hope
TESB = The Empire Strikes Back
ROTJ = Return of the Jedi
PT = Prequel Trilogy
CT = Classic Trilogy

2. This is not about ripping George Lucas a new one as a writer or director; nor is it about completely rewriting the PT from the ground up. Those who are looking for that kind of thing had best look elsewhere. My view toward the PT stands to this day: the films are very good, and often excellent; they tell gripping and fascinating stories; and they display amazing amounts of imagination. However, I do admit that they have flaws. Not fatal flaws, but flaws nonetheless. This series is about the flaws I perceive in the movies, and how I’d have fixed or avoided them.

As we go through AOTC, I may make some fairly surprising choices. In reconsidering this movie, it’s the prequel film to which I’d actually make the fewest wholesale changes. In light of what I see mentioned in discussions of this film, online and off, whenever the subject comes up, some of my choices might prove surprising.

So, with all prologue aside, it’s time to jump right in!

As with all Star Wars movies, we start with the opening crawl. Here’s the text:

There is unrest in the Galactic Senate. Several hundred solar systems have declared their intentions to leave the Republic.

This separatist movement, under the leadership of Count Dooku, has made it difficult for the limited number of Jedi Knights to maintain peace and order in the galaxy.
Senator Amidala, the former Queen of Naboo, is returning to the Galactic Senate to vote on the critical issue of creating an ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC to assist the overwhelmed Jedi….

Here’s a nifty beginning indeed. I remember all those people bitching about the politics in the opening crawl of TPM, but for some reason, here’s one that’s also political in nature, and yet, I don’t recall any complaints. In just four sentences, George Lucas creates a dangerous political situation that establishes that the Republic isn’t in a state of mere decay but in actual danger of collapsing; he names his new villain; and he establishes that the Jedi are meeting their match in their efforts to keep the peace. It’s one of the series’s better opening crawls.

Onto the opening sequence, which I’ve always loved. It’s mysterious and off-putting. Instead of the traditional pan down to the first planet of the movie, the camera pans up, for the only time in the Saga. The way this shot is done is a wonderful effect: we’re traditionally panning over a starfield, but then suddenly it seems that some of the stars are moving. A second later, Coruscant comes into view, and we realize that the moving stars are actually ships, hundreds of them, coming and going from the Galactic capital. Then the Naboo ships enter the frame from behind, a large transport ship escorted by three fighters. This transport ship has a unique low rumble, sounding like a World War II bomber, and as it approaches Coruscant, it begins to roll in order to properly orient itself with the planet.

It’s morning on Coruscant, and it’s very foggy, high up in the upper reaches of the cityscape. The tallest buildings poke through the clouds as the four ships come in to land. All’s well, until the explosion that kills Senator Amidala’s decoy. This was another terrific touch by Lucas: Padme’s use of a decoy through TPM is suddenly shown to have been a very good idea, one which she has kept in her bag of tricks.

In the original shooting script, we next cut to a sequence in the Senate, where Chancellor Palpatine announces Amidala’s assassination, which sparks new debate on the need for a strong response to the Separatists. Amidala then arrives, to everyone’s shock and delight, and begins to argue against military action. All of this was actually filmed and can be seen on the Deleted Scenes on the DVD, but cutting this sequence was a good decision on Lucas’s part; it really doesn’t do anything to establish the political situation that can’t be done in a much shorter time. (I’m not as thrilled with all of Lucas’s cuts from his original script for the final release, as we’ll see as we move on.)

So, in the film, instead of going from the attack on Senator Amidala to the Senate, we cut instead to the Chancellor’s office, where Palpatine and the Jedi leaders are discussing the situation. Here’s where I’d make the first significant alteration in the film. The problem is that in the movie as it was finally released, we don’t meet the film’s main villain until more than halfway through. When that happens, we need to know automatically that we’re looking at Count Dooku, and here’s where I’d make that correction:

INTERIOR: CHANCELLOR’S OFFICE – DAY

CHANCELLOR PALPATINE sits behind his desk with TWO RED-CLAD ROYAL GUARDS on either side of the door. YODA, PLO KOON, KI-ADI-MUNDI, and MACE WINDU sit across from him. Behind them stand the Jedi LUMINARA UNDULI and her Padawan, BARRISS OFFEE.

[ASIDE: This is the first time I’ve ever known that there was a Jedi named “Luminara Unduli”. A lot of the names in the PT tend to be clunky, but that is one wonderful name. Luminara Unduli!]

They are watching on the Chancellor’s immense viewscreen a news video of an elderly man, white haired and bearded, speaking before an audience of thousands in some alien world’s capital city. This is COUNT DOOKU.

DOOKU: You have all seen what has happened these last decades: the gradual erosion of a once great and proud Republic. Now, the Senate endlessly squabbles while the Chancellor accomplishes nothing, and the peace and harmony of every star system is threatened! Trade wars erupt with no enforcement of treaties! The crime syndicates take control of entire star sectors! The Jedi Knights dither over matters of doctrine while the people they are charged with protecting suffer! It is time for the Republic to either return to its roots, or cease functioning altogether!

The audience erupts in immense cheers. Palpatine, disgusted, makes a motion to Mas Amedda, who cuts off the transmission.

PALPATINE: So, your Count Dooku finds more converts to his cause.

YODA: “Our” Dooku he is no longer.

PALPATINE: His separatist movement grows stronger with every system he visits, and the people who come to follow him believe in him because he was once a Jedi, Master Yoda. And if the systems sworn to him begin signing treaties with one another, we could be facing a Galactic civil war.

PLO KOON: Which would make the creation of an Army of the Republic unavoidable, even though it goes against every tenet the Republic has ever stood for.

PALPATINE: I don’t know how much longer I can hold off the votes, my friends. More and more star systems are joining these Separatists. The attempt on Senator Amidala’s life has bought us time – I was able to dismiss the Senate into recess – but the vote will happen.

MACE WINDU: If they do break away from the Republic-

PALPATINE: I will not let this Republic, which has stood for a thousand generations, be torn in two. No matter how many speeches Count Dooku gives. My negotiations will not fail.

MACE WINDU: But if they do, you must realize that there aren’t enough Jedi to protect the Republic or enforce the Constitution. We’re keepers of the peace, not soldiers.

PALPATINE: Soldiers. Master Yoda, do you believe it will come to war?

YODA: The Dark Side clouds everything. Impossible to see, the future is. But do their duty, the Jedi will.

Now, in comes Senator Amidala and her contingent, including Bail Organa. for their audience with the Chancellor. Interestingly, they are announced as “the Loyalist Committee”, which seems to imply that the Separatist movement actually has some sympathy in the Senate, if not outright support. This isn’t really commented on, though, and soon we’re on to discussing Senator Amidala’s dangerous situation:

PADMÉ: Do you have any idea who was behind the attack?

MACE WINDU: Our intelligence points to disgruntled spice miners, on the moons of Naboo.

PADMÉ: But I think that Count Dooku was behind it.

There is a stir of surprise. They look at one another.

KI-ADI-MUNDI: He is a political idealist, not a murderer.

MACE WINDU: You know, M’Lady, Count Dooku was once a Jedi. He couldn’t assassinate anyone. It’s not in his character.

YODA: In dark times nothing is what it appears to be, but the fact remains for certain, Senator, in grave danger you are.

OK, here we have a bit of a problem. I’ve always felt that Padme’s suspicion of Count Dooku comes out of the blue; it’s not really set up at all. This ties into my original notion that Dooku’s introduction and establishment as the film’s new villain, combined with the fact that many don’t even realize he’s a villain until far too late, isn’t handled as well as it could have been. So I add an appearance via newscast by Dooku above, so when we meet him in person later on we’ll know who he is; also, I’d alter things in the conversation a bit to flesh out Padme’s suspicions:

PADME: Spice miners? I have had almost nothing to do with the policies that have aggrieved them. But I have been active in trying to resolve the Separatist crisis peacefully, and I have been named as a “Loyalist”. (Pause while she allows this to sink in) I believe that the Separatists were behind the attack. Perhaps even Count Dooku himself.

The Jedi look at one another in amazement; Palpatine leans back in his chair and adopts the stance of a fascinated observer.

KI-ADI MUNDI: My Lady, Count Dooku is a committed political idealist. He is not a murderer.

PADME: The Separatists have much to gain-

MACE WINDU: By killing you? How? All a high-visibility assassination could accomplish would be to drive sympathy in the Republic toward the Loyalists, and not the Separatists. It would make no sense.

PADME: Not everything always makes sense, Master Jedi. Remember the invasion of my own world, ten years ago.

MACE WINDU: I grant that, Senator, but Dooku was once a Jedi, and even though he left the order for arcane reasons, he is still bound by the Force. He couldn’t murder anyone.

With all this we have AOTC‘s first instance of one of the main recurring themes of the PT, namely, that a big reason the Jedi fall is that they’re almost always wrong about stuff. They can’t see the real threat even though it’s right in front of their faces, and even though Yoda and Mace Windu later on realize that they’re not seeing the whole picture, they still fail to totally grasp what’s going on. It’s all pretty chilling.

Continuing our scene, with a bit of dialogue I’m adding in (comment within):

PALPATINE gets up, walks to the window, and looks out at the vast city.

PALPATINE: Master Jedi, may I suggest that the Senator be placed under the protection of Your Graces?

BAIL ORGANA: Do you think that is a wise decision during these stressful times? From what I have heard, the Jedi are ill-equipped for bodyguard duties right now.

[ASIDE: As originally written, Bail Organa’s objection could be heard as him objecting not to the Jedi protecting Padme but to her receiving protection at all, so I clarify this.]

PADMÉ: Chancellor, if I may comment, I do not believe the…

PALPATINE: …”situation is that serious.” No, but I do, Senator.

PADMÉ: Chancellor, please! I don’t want any more guards!

PALPATINE: I realize all too well that additional security might be disruptive for you, but perhaps someone you are familiar with… say, an old friend like… Master Kenobi.

[ASIDE: I love the way Ian McDiarmid takes on a grandfatherly tone when he suggests this, even though he most certainly knows that Master Kenobi’s apprentice will be affected by being thrust together with Padme again.]

PALPATINE nods to MACE WINDU, who nods back.

MACE WINDU: That’s possible. He has just returned from a border dispute on Ansion.

PALPATINE: You must remember him, M’Lady… he watched over you during the blockade conflict.

[This line isn’t in the movie, but I like it.]

PADMÉ: This is not necessary, Chancellor.

PALPATINE: Do it for me, M’Lady, please. I will rest easier. We had a big scare today. The thought of losing you is unbearable.

AMIDALA sighs as the JEDI get up to leave.

MACE WINDU: I will have Obi-Wan report to you immediately, My Lady.

I do like the way the scene establishes that Padme is still pretty headstrong and unwilling to be pushed around, and also establishes Palpatine’s own gifts for manipulation. Good stuff.

And that’s a good place to leave off for the first post on AOTC. Next time, we’ll address something that’s always bothered me a little about how we meet Teenage Anakin. Excelsior!

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