Tag: Star Wars

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Fixing the Prequels – The Phantom Menace (part two)

part one

As we continue fixing The Phantom Menace, we have reached the point where Qui Gon and Obi Wan have escaped death on the Trade Federation ship and are sneaking down to the surface of Naboo. There’s a scene where Queen Amidala speaks to Nute Gunray, and this scene is followed by the Queen conferring with her highest counselors. I would change none of this. I like the mystery here as it’s unfolding: the Queen’s belief that the ambassadors have arrived and commanded the Federation to make settlement, while the Federation insists that the ambassadors have never arrived. Likewise, the scene in the Naboo throne room is well done, and I’d leave that alone completely. Where I’d start tweaking things is when we reconnected with the two Jedi.

Remember, Qui Gon and Obi Wan have stowed away on separate ships and plan to meet somehow on the planet surface. Nute Gunray warns his battle droid captain that the two Jedi are no longer aboard the ship in orbit, and that they are therefore almost certainly stowing away. This sets up a bit of sneaking around for the Jedi, but this sneaking around didn’t happen onscreen, which is a bit of a pity. In reality, the original script has things going slightly differently as was filmed. As the droid army ships land, we see Obi Wan pop his head out of a pond, look around, and then disappear again beneath the water. Then we’d cut to the Viceroy warning the droid captain that the two Jedi have escaped the orbiting ship and are therefore likely on the planet. And after that, we meet Jar Jar Binks.

Okay. Before getting to specifics, let’s discuss Jar Jar in general. Basically, Jar Jar is probably the single most hated facet of the prequel trilogy. While I never hated him – in fact, I rather like him – he’s got some serious execution problems. He gets a bit too much screen time, and he’s almost uniformly the goofy screwball for the entire time, not getting a moment where he can just stand there are quietly talk until late in the movie, by which time it’s too late. So that’s a place to begin with fixing Jar Jar.

It’s also interesting to note that Jar Jar isn’t just along for the ride; he has a definite character arc, mainly in TPM but also in the remaining PT. Jar Jar is the annoying kid who screws up a lot, but who has a lot of heart and ends up doing fairly well by himself and by his people. Where Lucas errs, then, is in not showing us early enough that Jar Jar has quite a bit of potential.

When we first see Jar Jar, he’s among the creatures running wildly in fear away from the giant droid army transports that are literally plowing their way through the forests of Naboo. Qui Gon is among these creatures, and finds Jar Jar directly in his way. Jar Jar, panicking, grabs onto Qui Gon and falls down, dragging the Jedi master to the ground with him, where they lay still as the droid transport moves right over the top of them. How to make this better? Well, I’d show a dispirited, lonely Jar Jar wandering lonely through the woods, searching for food – maybe he’d find a worm and reject it for taste – when he’d suddenly note an animal running by…and then another…and another, until it’s a full-fledged stampede. Then he’d see Qui Gon coming.

After the droid transport passes, I’d revise the ensuing dialog a bit:

QUI GON: You almost got us killed! Are you brainless?

JAR JAR: I spake.

QUI GON: The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. Now get out of here!

JAR JAR: No! No…mesa stay with you. Mesa help. Mesa Gungan. Wesa warriors.

QUI GON: That won’t be necessary. Now go…

At this point, Obi Wan comes bursting out of some nearby vegetation, closely pursued by a battle droid on a floating attack vehicle. Qui Gon quickly dispatches the battle droid, and attention once again turns to Jar Jar. However, in the shooting script, there’s a bit that answers the question of why Obi Wan didn’t just destroy the battle droid himself. It seems that he got his lightsaber soaked and now the battery’s dead. I like this, and I’d keep it. Here’s the gist of what I’d do:

QUI GON: I see you’re wet…did you seal your lightsaber before going under?

OBI WAN: (sheepishly) I forgot, Master. I was near to being discovered, and —

QUI GON: Indeed.

He takes Obi Wan’s lightsaber and tries to ignite it; the blade fizzles and shorts out.

QUI GON: It’ll dry out in time, although it won’t work perfectly until you replace the crystal. Remember, Padawan, this weapon is your life.

OBI WAN: Yes, Master.

Reading through the shooting script, I find a lot of little touches that I really think would have enhanced the final product. I wish that George Lucas had been a bit more willing to indulge longer running times in the PT. Another benefit of including this bit would be to presage an exchange in the next film, and to further establish the teacher-student relationship between Qui Gon and Obi Wan.

Anyway, we move on to Jar Jar’s statement that the Jedi should go to the Gungan city, the hidden city. Here again I’d have Jar Jar point out that the Gungans are warriors. In fact, I’d drive this point home, the idea being that Jar Jar’s big problem is that he’s a failed warrior in a civilization of warriors. Other than that, I’ve always liked the entire bit with Jar Jar first saying that the Jedi should go to the Gungan City, then saying that he can’t take them there because he’s banished, and Qui Gon and Obi Wan manipulating Jar Jar’s fears to convince him to take them to the Gungan City after all: “Do you hear that? That is the sound of a thousand terrible things headed this way.” “And if they find us, they will smash us, crush us, and grind us into oblivion!” I like that exchange a great deal.

So we’re at the lake where Jar Jar points out that they are going underwater. Here again I’d have Jar Jar point out that the Gungans are warriors, maybe in noting that the Jedi shouldn’t expect a warm welcome – something like, “Gungans are warriors and no liking strangers, so don’t expecting a warm welcome.”

And as long as I’m going into detailed stuff about TPM, I frankly think that the first sight of the Gungan city, as they swim over an underwater cliff and see all those golden bubbles hanging there before them, is one of those beautiful sights that fill each of the Star Wars movies. That’s one of the visuals that makes me a Star Wars fan.

The scene with Qui Gon and Obi Wan requesting aid of the Gungan rulers doesn’t really work as well as it should. First of all, that facial tic of Boss Nass’s – the one where he suddenly shakes his head and wobbles his jowls back and forth – needs to go. I’m not really sure what that’s all about.

Second, the scene should play the differences between the Gungans and the Naboo up a little more, and again, accentuate the “warrior Gungans” thing a bit more:

OBI WAN: When the droids have taken control of the Naboo, they will come after you.

BOSS NASS: Wesa no think so. They not knowing wesa are here. And wesa warriors! We can fight them if they come.

OBI WAN: But you and the Naboo form a symbiont circle. What happens to one happens to the other. You must see this.

BOSS NASS: Dissen not true. Wesa no need the Naboo, wesa no care about the Naboo, and the Naboo no care about us. Yousa must leave now.

QUI GON: (waves his hand) Then speed us on our way….

And so on. When we get to Qui Gon’s intercession on Jar Jar’s behalf, I’d again alter the dialogue slightly:

QUI GON: What’s to become of Jar Jar Binks?

BOSS NASS: Hesa been banished three times, and hesa come back each time! So hesa to be punished.

I especially like here the benevolent smile Boss Nass gives when he indicates that Jar Jar is to be “punished”, followed by Jar Jar’s swallow of fear. The rest of this scene plays out all right, and then we’re into the whole transit through “the planet core”.

Now, I know that they’re not really going through the planet’s core. And I have no problem with that, OK? So no complaining about that. The entire underwater sequence of TPM has actually always been one of my favorite parts of the movie, and the only changes I would make would be mostly cosmetic. Jar Jar, for example, talks too much through the whole sequence.

There’s a line in the script that isn’t heard in the movie; Obi Wan asks of Qui Gon something like, “Master, why do you keep dragging these pathetic life forms with us?” I don’t know why that line got cut, since its echoing line later on the movie (on Tatooine) is still present. I suspect that it makes Obi Wan too much of an egoist jerk, but I’d rather that line have stayed. As they pilot the sub away from the Gungan City, something like this:

JAR JAR: Through the Core? In a bongo? Dis is nutsen.

OBI WAN: Why do we always end up with some pathetic life form tagging along with us?

QUI GON: All life is bound by the living Force, young Padawan, and even the strongest Jedi needs allies.

JAR JAR: Where we going?

QUI GON: You’re navigating, aren’t you?

JAR JAR: I no go through the Core in just a bongo! We get crunched dere!

QUI GON: Well then, the Force will guide us.

The sub steers into a deep hole, followed by a giant fish.

OBI WAN: Why were you banished, Jar Jar?

JAR JAR: Dis a longo tale but small part be…mesa clumsy.

OBI WAN: You were banished because you were clumsy?

Jar Jar looks sadder and sadder.

JAR JAR: Mesa never be Gungan warrior now.

In the actual script (and the film), Jar Jar goes on to describe some of the clumsy things he’s done. The problem is that it’s hard to understand what he’s talking about in the first place (what’s a “heyblibber”?), and it only serves to fill up some time while the big fish looms behind them. I think it works better if it’s just left at Jar Jar being clumsy, something we already know, and the unexplained nature of his banishment serves to better underscore his disappointment in himself (enhancing his character arc) and the manner in which he’s not representative of most Gungans.

Anyway, now the big fish attacks. I’d like to have seen this drawn out slightly before the even bigger fish attacks the big fish, freeing the sub. That said, Qui Gon’s sage observation that “There’s always a bigger fish” is a good line.

There’s a brief scene next on the bridge of the Trade Federation ship, where Nute Gunray reports to Darth Sidious that the invasion is going well. But he omits any mention of the Jedi who escaped, and when his second-in-command points this out, Gunray replies, “No need to report that to him until we have something to report.” I like this scene, and wouldn’t change anything about it.

Back to the sub, where they’re cruising along through the water when they lose power. I’d add an observation here as to the cause – “The smaller fish did some damage before the bigger fish got him, Master” – and then let it play out as in the movie. I like Jar Jar’s shrill panic, especially when the get the lights back on and find that they’re right in front of some other beastie. In fact, I’d have milked that a bit, and had Jar Jar’s shrieking go on a few seconds more before Qui Gon conks him out with the Jedi Nerve Pinch. (Well, that’s basically what it is, right?) However, instead of having Obi Wan say “You overdid it” – was Qui Gon not supposed to conk Jar Jar out? — I’d have Obi Wan simply say, with great relief, “Thank you!” For freakishly obsessive Star Wars fans, this would echo a similar moment between Han Solo, Princess Leia, and an incessantly-talking C-3PO in The Empire Strikes Back.

After they’d escape the second beastie to another bigger fish, I’d like to hear something like this:

QUI GON: We’re getting closer to the Naboo City. I can feel it in the Force.

OBI WAN: Good. I don’t know how many more bigger fish are going to save us, down here.

JAR JAR: (moaning from his sleep) Are wesa dere yet?

So there we have it: a beginning to the redemption of Jar Jar Binks. Next time, we’ll look at the invasion of Naboo, the rescue of the Queen, and the beginnings of Padme’s subterfuge.

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Snap-hiss

Last week I posted a YouTube thingy collating the ten best sound effects of Star Wars, and I indicated that I thought one sound was horribly missing while one made no sense to be included at all. Here it is again:

The one that I don’t think belongs there at all is the Techno Union guy. I think he’s a neat touch, but he’s a throwaway gag, really. What’s missing? The Millennium Falcon, obviously. That ship has a totally distinctive sound to its engines, such that in the movies you can always tell when the Falcon is onscreen or approaching. The best example of this comes during the Battle of Endor in Return of the Jedi, when there’s a tracking shot that follows some Rebel fighters as they pursue a group of TIE fighters. All of a sudden, you hear the Falcon‘s engines offscreen and the ship then roars into the frame from above, as if overflying the audience.

Other ships have different sounds as well: Slave One‘s engines have a roar of their own, and I love the “lumbering bomber” drone of the Naboo cruiser that lands on Coruscant at the beginning of Attack of the Clones.

Other great sounds in Star Wars? The pod-racers in The Phantom Menace are terrific; many of them have distinctive sounds, especially Sebulba’s racer with that pounding pulse it makes. The blasters held by the destroyer droids have their own sound, apart from most of the other blasters in the series; Han Solo’s blaster also has its own sound. The various astrodroids throughout the films also all have their own sounds, although all are roughly similar to R2-D2’s familiar beeps. And if you really listen carefully, you can tell that the lightsabers don’t all sound the same either. Luke’s green lightsaber from RotJ has a different ignition sound than his earlier, blue saber; Count Dooku’s saber also has its own ignition sound.

That’s what makes the sounds of Star Wars so great: objects of similar types make similar sounds, but none of them ever really make the same sound. This is the type of thing that mechanics know; two cars of the same make, model and year will nevertheless sound slightly different at idle. (George Lucas probably knows this, as he’s an old car hound.) Everything in Star Wars always sounds like a real thing with real moving parts. I love that.

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Fixing the Prequels – The Phantom Menace (part one)

Long-time readers will know that I am a member of that terribly small, but incredibly zealous, band of folk: those who admire and enjoy the Star Wars prequel trilogy. I enjoyed, and continue to enjoy, each one of them, and I refuse to view them as disastrous films done in by George Lucas’s money-grubbing hubris. The Daughter and I just watched The Phantom Menace this past weekend, and damned if I still can’t see what it is about that movie that everybody hates with such fury.

But while I do openly admit to loving these films – long posts about each film can be found linked in my sidebar – I do also admit that the films are flawed. Not fatally flawed, in my view, but there are things in each prequel film that could have been done better. So, in this series of posts, I’m going to set out exactly what I think should have been done differently. We’ll start, obviously, with The Phantom Menace, and then proceed on to Attack of the Clones and, finally, Revenge of the Sith.

First, a couple of points about this fairly Quixotic project. One, I’m not going to be bitching a lot about who should have been cast in this or that role (well, with one exception, but that’s less about the actual performance given and more about the character in question) or directed. This isn’t going to be a “Lucas is Teh Suck as a director!” kind of thing, OK? Two, I’m not going to vastly rewrite the prequel stories, because I think the stories and plotting of the prequels are quite solid and well done. What I’m more about here is fleshing out the stories themselves so they work better, not tossing them out entirely. I’m not doing fanfic here. Lastly, for the sake of brevity, I shall employ the following abbreviations:

TPM = The Phantom Menace
AOTC = Attack of the Clones
ROTS = Revenge of the Sith
ANH = A New Hope
TESB = The Empire Strikes Back
ROTJ = Return of the Jedi
PT = Prequel Trilogy
CT = Classic Trilogy

So, on to The Phantom Menace. Here’s how TPM would look if I’d made it.

Intro scenes.

I remember when the backlash started against this film, quite a few commentators complained about the text of the opening crawl, about trade routes and taxation and whatnot. “The film’s thirty seconds old, and I’m already bored!” went the refrain, and frankly, what a stupid refrain that was. The American Revolution, after all, had its routes in clashes and quarrels over taxation and trade routes and the like, and yet no one complains about American Revolution stories on an a priori basis. So the opening crawl stays.

Next, the sequence with the Republic ship landing on the Trade Federation cruiser. I actually like this opening too, and I wouldn’t change anything about it, save one small detail: the accents of the Trade Federation guys. Not because of all that idiotic stuff about them looking and sounding “Chinese” (for my money, they always sounded less Chinese and more like Count Dracula – I kept waiting for them to express their desire to “sok your blod”), but because they’re frankly hard to understand much of the time. The only time in TPM that Darth Sidious is actually referred to by name comes in one of these early scenes, and the accent makes the name almost unintelligible.

There’s also a bit in the original script where two worker droids in the landing bay note the arrival of the Republic ambassadors; one says something like “A Republic cruiser! Do you think that’s trouble?” And the other replies, “I’m not made to think.” I like that exchange and I wish it had been included in the movie.

So, the Republic ship has landed, and the two Jedi ambassadors have been escorted into a waiting room. Here’s where the first thing I’d correct about the prequels crops up: the relationship of Obi Wan Kenobi and Qui Gon Jinn. What’s wrong here is that the script, as filmed, doesn’t really draw the student-teacher relationship strongly enough. This is the young Obi Wan, the impulsive one who would make some bad decisions later on; this is the young Obi Wan on whom the older Obi Wan in the Classic Trilogy would look back somewhat ruefully. We don’t get enough of a view of Obi Wan as the student who doesn’t know everything.

This scene has Obi Wan noting that he feels something strange out there in the Force, something “elsewhere…elusive”. This should have been given to Qui Gon; his greater experience with the Force should make him the one feeling that something is amiss with this otherwise simple-looking matter of a trade dispute. It should have gone like this:

QUI GON: I have a bad feeling about this.

OBI WAN: I don’t sense anything.

QUI GON: This is supposed to be a simple trade dispute, and yet there’s something elsewhere…elusive. Learn to listen to the living Force, young Padawan, and it will tell you things that are not readily apparent.

OBI WAN: Master Yoda has said that I should focus my attention on where I am, and what I’m doing. The future is always in motion.

QUI GON: Yes, well…Master Yoda and I have had our disagreements.

OBI WAN: How do you think the Trade Viceroy will react to the Chancellor’s demands?

QUI GON: These Federation types are cowards. Blockading a planet with minimal defenses is one thing, but defying two Jedi ambassadors? The negotiations will be short.

Something like this would establish Qui Gon as the clearly superior Jedi in this scenario, as well as plant the notion of Qui Gon as something of a Jedi rogue. One of the underappreciated aspects of the entire Prequel trilogy, in my view, has always been the extent to which the Jedi are depicted: many commentators seem to miss the fact that the PT depicts not the Jedi in their prime, but the Jedi when they are in serious decline as an order, when their focuses have become too inward and when they have become too arrogant and decadent in their own power. Here we’d highlight the notion that all is not perfect in the Jedi world, by establishing the notion of a Jedi Master disagreeing with Yoda, who at the time TPM came out was the only true Jedi master (along with Obi Wan Kenobi) with whom we were familiar.

I also like the opportunity to have Obi Wan’s lines reflect a bit of dialogue spoken to Luke in The Empire Strikes Back. In truth, I think that the PT did a fair job of harkening back to the CT, but I’d make the parallels even stronger.

Next, we have the Trade Federation guys confer with Darth Sidious. This scene works pretty well, I think, except that again it’s undermined a bit by the thick accents of the Federation baddies. Also, there’s some dialogue from the original script that didn’t make it into the final scene. Additionally, I’d have the Federation guys show some fear and fealty to Sidious when his hologram appears, something like this:

A hologram of DARTH SIDIOUS appears before Viceroy Gunray and his lackies.

SIDIOUS: I instructed you to not contact me except in the event of emergency, Viceroy.

GUNRAY: Forgive me, Lord Sidious, but the Chancellor’s ambassadors have arrived, and they are Jedi knights.

SIDIOUS: The Chancellor involved the Jedi? That was unexpected.

DOFINE: [this is the other Federation guy] Your plan has failed, My Lord. We cannot go against the Jedi.

SIDIOUS: You fear two Jedi more than you fear me, Dofine? Viceroy, I don’t want this stunted slime in my sight again!

Dofine slinks away.

GUNRAY: Then what shall we do, My Lord?

SIDIOUS: Nothing has changed. A confrontation with the Jedi was inevitable, so we must act now. Begin landing your troops on Naboo.

GUNRAY: Invasion? So soon? Is that…legal?

SIDIOUS: I will make it legal.

GUNRAY: And the Jedi?

SIDIOUS: The Chancellor should never have involved them in this matter. Kill them immediately.

The hologram fades. Gunray turns to his subordinates.

GUNRAY: Begin jamming the communications from the planet, and prepare the armies for invasion.

DOFINE: Yes, Viceroy…but how will we kill the Jedi?

GUNRAY: Droids. Lots of droids.

Then cut back to the rest of this sequence as it unfolds in the film; I’ve always found this whole sequence pretty effective. The only change I’d make is that when the destroyer droids arrive, I’d draw attention to Obi Wan’s suddenly being overmatched: he would try to hold them off himself for a moment or two while Qui Gon continues to cut through the door. This would highlight the notion that he’s young and impulsive. Qui Gon would thus have to stop cutting through the door in order to bail out his young Padawan.

There’s also a line that I like in the original script; Obi Wan remarks, as they’re fighting battle droids, “Offhand I’d say that this mission is past the negotiation phase.”

Oh, and the business with the two Jedi suddenly displaying super speed in escaping the destroyer droids? I’d ditch that and have them escape in some other way – maybe by cutting open a coolant pipe or something to make a distraction. The super speed thing doesn’t really work; it’s a Jedi ability that is only seen this one time and never really comes into play again even though there are times when it seems just what the doctor ordered. The less of that, the better.

Finally, the two Jedi arrive in the landing bay, where they discover the droid armies boarding their ships for the invasion of Naboo. Here I’d highlight the Jedi’s surprise that the Trade Federation is actually invading.

OBI WAN: Battle droids?

QUI GON: It’s an invasion force. They’re invading Naboo.

OBI WAN: From a dispute over trade routes to invasion? I don’t understand.

QUI GON: Nor do I. They destroy our ship, try to kill us, and now an invasion…something else is at work here. We have to warn the Naboo and contact Chancellor Valorum. Stow aboard separate ships, and we’ll meet on the planet.

OBI WAN: Yes, Master. At least you were right about one thing: the negotiations were short!

And then we’re on to Naboo. Next up…the rehabilitation of Jar Jar Binks.

(Seriously.)

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Shhhh! Writer at work!


Writer at work, originally uploaded by Jaquandor.

Stop botherin’ me. I’m writin’ here.

Sorry about the dearth of posting the last few days, folks, but the week here at Casa Jaquandor got a bit unexpectedly busy over the last few days. Not bad busy, just a whole lot of stuff that ended up on the plate and being more time-consuming than I’d figured at the time. Plus, I’ve been fending off a minor head cold. Regular posting should begin again tomorrow.

By way of a progress report: I’ve been doing a lot more fiction writing lately — I finished a draft of a horror story a few weeks ago (which is now laying fallow for a time before I edit it) and I’ve started my first-ever actual attempt at a SF story (about two-thirds of the way through the first draft). I’ve also started noodling about with a space opera novel concept I’ve had percolating about my head for a few years now (this one, actually, although I started it over completely) and, believe it or not, a screenplay. And I also mean, once the Halloween festivities are over, to finally get back on track with The Promised King. I’ve also been doing some more reading, movie-watching, music-listening, and I have some longer essays in the hopper for eventual appearance in this space. So, fear not, regular readers: new content is in the offing!

I’d like to thank everyone who has delurked already, and welcome any other lurkers to do likewise, if you’re comfortable. I truly appreciate the fact that anyone at all thinks this blog worth following!

In closing, here’s a nifty item: the Top Ten Sound Effects of the Star Wars movies:

This list is almost perfect: One sound is, in my opinion, inexplicably absent. Which one? Why — that’s for you all to guess! (For extra credit, guess which one I’d replace.)

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Look at all the pretty spaceships….

I was just reading a message board thread somewhere — never mind where, not important — where several folks hold forth on the notion that the opening space battle in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith is hard to follow because there’s so much visual stuff going on. I can only read that and wonder if they bothered trying to pay attention, or if they just closed their eyes and thought of England or something.

I saw that thing twice in the theaters on opening day, and even on DVD at reduced size, I’ve never had problems following that space battle. In fact, Lucas makes it easy to follow by putting his two hero Jedi in spaceships that are totally unique in the entire battle, designing those ships so their cockpits resemble those of the TIE fighters we know so well from the original trilogy, giving those two ships helpful little tongues of blue flame jetting from the engines (possible because the battle takes place in upper atmosphere), and he cuts to dialogue that explains what the hell’s going on. Anakin says something like, “We’re heading for the ship that’s crawling with vulture droids!”, and then the very next shot shows a ship that’s crawling with droids, and so on.

What I actually admire most about that space battle is that it seems to correct a problem I had with the spaceship effects in The Phantom Menace, in that too often the ships appear to move in a way that’s independent of the fact that the ships have mass. Compare the Queen’s starship lifting off from Naboo with, say, the Millennium Falcon lifting off from Mos Eisley or Hoth and you see what I mean. However, by the time of Revenge, the ships all seem to have quite a bit of weight involved. If that makes sense.

Anyway, geek moment over.

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Sunday Burst of Weirdness (Tuesday Edition)

Whoops. I just didn’t get around to it, folks. So here’s some weirdness:

:: Lynn has what is either the greatest T-shirt in history, or the evilest. It’s printed with spoilers. Don’t believe me? Check it out — but there may be spoilers there.

:: Pound for pound, the best source for pure strangeness is Warren Ellis, who today has a link to the most appalling idea for a reality-TV show ever. Sooner or later, all Monty Python sketches come true, it seems.

And three bits of video weirdness in honor of Star Wars. First, two of my favorite fan-made parodies: Emperor Palpatine receiving a call from Darth Vader after the Death Star’s destruction, and a spoof trailer for Episode III (made before the real Ep. III came out).

After that, here are a couple of actual original theatrical trailers. First, here’s how audiences were tempted to see the original Star Wars:

“Lightyears ahead of its time!” “Somewhere in space all this may be happening right now!” Oy.

And then there’s The Empire Strikes Back:

Does the voice in the TESB trailer sound familiar to anyone?

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Thirty years ago, in a Galaxy far, far away

It all began thirty years ago today.

Of course, I didn’t see it on opening day; I was five, after all, and it took a while for the thing to become a Big Cultural Phenomenon. My mother says that when she saw in the papers what was going on with this space movie, it was she who decided that come hell or high water, her kids were going to see it. So it was late summer, I think, by the time we finally saw it. Maybe it was early summer. Actually, I honestly don’t recall. The movie came out while we were finishing the school year in LaCrosse, Wisconsin; then we moved to Portland, Oregon. That’s where I saw Star Wars the first time.

And I didn’t like it.

Again, I was five, and I just didn’t get the thing. The only movies I knew were Disney stuff, and my only exposure to SF prior to this was a flick called The Cat from Outer Space. But my sister? She was ga-ga for Star Wars and talked about it constantly. So much so that somehow she won me over, and when I consented to go see it a second time, I thought it was the greatest thing ever.

And I still think that.

Three years later, at the same theater (the Westgate in Beaverton, OR, which I believe is now no longer there):

And then, after we moved to Western New York:

So anyway, thank you, George Lucas and everyone else.

Here are some links to older Star Wars-related posts of mine:

The Saga, complete
Why I love The Phantom Menace
Why I love Attack of the Clones, part one
Why I love Attack of the Clones, part two
Why I love Attack of the Clones, part three
Why I love Revenge of the Sith

The Star Wars toy I coveted above all, mine at last!
Emperor Palpatine calls customer service
A representative post in which I defend the honor of George Lucas
A big Star Wars poll
My favorite visual moments from the Star Wars movies

I’ve done a lot more Star Wars-related blathering than those on Byzantium’s Shores, but those are a good start.

Last week I splurged on The Making of STAR WARS, and I’ve started reading it, but I’m taking this one very slowly so as to savor it and absorb as much of it as possible.

Also, some outside links: D. Trull is another guy who, like me, thinks the Prequels are actually pretty damned good. I’ve been sitting on this link for quite a while, so long actually that everyone’s probably already seen it, but here’s Steampunk Star Wars. Also, some time ago a reader e-mailed me about The Secret History of STAR WARS, which I have not yet read. (I’ll get to it, eventually!)

I don’t know if I’ll have a chance to watch the original film today; there’s lots of other stuff on my plate right now, obviously. But I wasn’t going to allow cruddy life events now let me miss out on Star Wars‘s thirtieth birthday!

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Of strings and astromech droids….

What better way to celebrate my blog’s “rebirth” onto New Blogger than by geeking out for a bit? So here’s a timely descent into some serious Star Wars geekery! A reader e-mailed me a link to this essay a couple of weeks back, and I’ve been tossing it around in my head ever since. It’s a bit of speculation into what goes on between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope, as well as an exploration of possible character motivations in the Original Trilogy that we didn’t realize at the time. The basic conclusion drawn is that the Rebellion’s most important unsung heroes, and de facto special agents from the earliest possible point, are R2-D2 and Chewbacca. It’s a really fun essay to read, and you have to love the creativity employed in developing its thesis. So, let’s rip it apart in the best geek fashion!

First of all, there is this claim made near the outset:

As we now know, the rebel Alliance was founded by Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Bail Organa. What can readily be deduced is that their first recruit, who soon became their top field agent, was R2-D2.

Well, not really. We don’t really know that Yoda and Obi Wan were involved in the birth of the Rebel Alliance. They’re involved in that, to a small degree, but the prime player here is Bail Organa (along with Mon Mothma and, before her death, Senator Amidala). The genesis of the Rebellion is never shown in the theatrical release of Sith, but there are a number of deleted scenes from that film, available on the DVD, that show the earliest hints of rebellion.

(A side discussion could be had here on whether scenes cut from the films constitute “canon”. First of all, we’re talking about George Lucas here, and you can never rule out old scenes showing back up in future cuts of the movies. Second of all, the scenes were written and filmed by George Lucas, and in just about every case that I can think of, were eliminated for reasons of story structure or pacing concerns, and not because any of the scenes established story precedent that Lucas later decided went against what he was trying to do. So I think we can assume that events depicted in cut scenes actually happened, and we just didn’t get to see them because they made the movies slower.)

Yoda and Obi Wan’s approach to what happens after the rise of the Empire is shaped by their experiences as Jedi, and their approach is Jedi-centric. The children are taken into hiding because they represent the Galaxy’s last hope, not some rebel faction brewing in the Galactic Senate. Throughout Attack of the Clones and Sith, Obi Wan is always expressing mild disdain to outright distrust of the political body of the Republic, and given how the Senate specifically endorses the formation of the Clone Army, the outlawing and destruction of the Jedi, and the shift from democracy to Empire, I suspect that Obi Wan would just as soon not involve the Rebellion in his efforts against Palpatine and Darth Vader at all. By the time Obi Wan finally meets Luke Skywalker as a young man on Tatooine, he seems to have almost no idea at all of what’s going on out there in the Empire. He’s been waiting for a Jedi apprentice.

The same can roughly be said of Yoda. In fact, he’s even more out of touch than Obi Wan, stuck in exile on the uncharted swamp world of Dagobah. In fact, it seems that he’s become bitter and disillusioned in that time, since he initially refuses to train Luke when he arrives, and since when Luke abandons his training, Yoda basically says to Obi Wan, “I told you that kid was gonna screw this up.” Yoda tells Luke to eschew his friends in the Rebellion, and that “only a fully-trained Jedi Knight” can hope to stop Vader and the Emperor. The impression is rather strongly conveyed that Yoda doesn’t care one whit about the Rebellion; without a newly-minted Jedi to take care of the Sith, the Rebellion’s just window dressing. The Rebellion is aimed at taking down the Empire. Yoda and Obi Wan are looking to take down the Sith. That’s an important distinction.

Moving on, the article makes a number of other statements that seem to conflict with the films. In order:

Both droids know that Yoda and Obi-Wan are alive and are plotting sedition with the Senator from Alderaan. They know that Amidala survived long enough to have twins and could easily deduce where they went.

Well, is this really the case? At the end of Sith, do both droids know of the birth of the twins? I don’t remember seeing them present during the birth scene, nor do I recall them present during the discussion between Bail Organa, Yoda, and Obi Wan about what to do with them. Here’s a point where the film could have clarified things, perhaps with a simple line of dialogue such as having Yoda instruct Bail Organa to report to the Senate that Senator Amidala is dead and that her baby was lost as well. (Remember, Anakin never knew that Padme was going to have twins, and he doesn’t realize Leia is his daughter until Return of the Jedi.) But anyway, I’m not sure we can assume that the droids know about the twins, or where they have been taken.

(As an aside, I never had a problem with Obi Wan hiding Luke on Tatooine with his aunt and uncle. If Vader believes that his child was never born, why would he ever go back to the Lars Homestead? This never struck me as the obvious plot hole that many other think it is. Here too, though, a simple dialogue exchange would have cleared it up:

OBI WAN: I will take the boy to his family on Tatooine.

YODA: Is that wise?

OBI WAN: Anakin is dead and only Vader remains. He will never go back there.

But even so, I was never bothered by this.)

As Star Wars opens, R2 is rushing the Death Star plans to the Rebellion. R2, not Leia. The plans are always in R2. What Leia puts into him in the early scene is only her own holographic message to Kenobi. Leia’s own mission, as she says in the holographic message, is to pick up Obi-Wan and take him to Alderaan – or so she thinks.

This is somewhat belied by the text of Leia’s message to Obi Wan: “I have placed information vital to the survival of the Rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit.” She wouldn’t say that if she hadn’t put the plans there. The film’s implied course of events makes much more sense: Leia is about to be captured before she can recruit Obi Wan, and she has to get him the plans, so she puts them in R2 and sends him to find Obi Wan on his own.

Later on, the writer turns to Chewbacca and his own status as a Rebel agent from the very rise of the Empire. This is all entertaining, although here’s one item that clashes a bit in my eye:

When R2’s urgent message came through only days before, the only way for Chewie to get back to Tattoine in time was to make the “mistake” that forced Han to dump his cargo to avoid capture. As a down side, this led to Solo’s getting a death mark out on him from Jabba the Hutt. Chewie was a bit upset about the need for that but figured they weren’t going to be dealing with Tattoine for much longer.

I honestly don’t know about this. Something about it seems wrong. Maybe it’s the idea that R2 is just beaming messages all over space, to Chewie and who knows who else.

(Oddly, in the fanfic “Star Wars remix” thing I wrote years ago, I literally made my analogue of the Han Solo and Chewbacca characters agents for the Good Guys [who weren’t a Rebellion, actually, but were in a war against an evil Empire].)

Those are the only things in the article that ring highly false to me; everything else is rough speculation. Geeky retconning is always fun!

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