Give me the jelly donut OR I WILL KILL YOUR FAMILY!!!

A note on 24, which I’m watching religiously this year, although I haven’t yet watched this week’s two episodes (so no spoiling them, you bunch of lubbers!). While the various plots and schemes Jack is working to thwart are entertaining as always, it seems to me that this year’s theme deals with the nature of the kind of work Jack Bauer does.

Everyone who has watched the show knows that Jack occasionally does things that are morally questionable in the name of getting an upper hand on the bad guys. He tortures. He threatens family members. He threatens good guys at gunpoint. Jack does a lot of frankly awful things, always under the belief that the end justifies the means. There are no rules he won’t break in order to save lives. This year, the show is grappling with this aspect of Jack’s character by contrasting him with FBI Agent Renee Walker, who is his strong ally this year but constantly finds herself blanching at the things he has her do, and some things she does on her own.

Agent Walker does the same horrible things, but she feels horrible doing them, and more than that, she is increasingly appalled at Jack’s ability to not be affected by the things he does. No matter what they do, Jack is able to brush it off in his constant desire to move on to the next part of the mission, and when Agent Walker breaks down in his arms sobbing after their actions have caused the death of a young woman who one hour before had no idea what she was involved with, the only wisdom he can offer is “You learn to live with it.” The show seems to be admitting that Jack is doing things that are wrong, but is also contending that sometimes you have to do something wrong to prevent something even worse from happening. Call this what you will: Lesser of two evils. Ends justify the means. You have to break eggs to make omelettes.

While it interests me that the show is addressing this stuff, I don’t think it’s doing so completely honestly. It would be easy for them to show Jack going too far, wouldn’t it? Sometimes I wonder if they’re not suggesting that, but pulling back slightly. Take Dubaku’s girlfriend, for example. Jack and Agent Walker put that girl in a terribly dangerous position, and her position became even more perilous when something unforeseen happened to take Jack and Walker out of the equation for a moment and into a place where they couldn’t protect her. If the show really wanted to unflinchingly look at the implications of Jack’s actions, they might have had Dubaku kill the girl before attempting escape; then we’d have to wonder if Jack really did the right thing or not. Instead, they had the girl attack Dubaku’s driver while in mid-high speed chase, thus causing the crash that results in Dubaku’s capture but also results in her death. That girl died a hero.

That leads to my main complaint: all of Jack’s dark actions are portrayed as working out the way he needs them to, and that’s terribly unrealistic, isn’t it? Not that I’m expecting realism from 24, but if they really want to explore the darker nature of Jack’s work, then they need to confront the awful reality that sometimes Jack is going to go too far, and worse, that sometimes his actions aren’t going to work out. Take torture, for example: when Jack tortures, it always works! When he threatens a villain’s family, it always works! Jack’s “extreme interrogations” invariably result in him getting the information he wants. Nobody ever stonewalls him. Nobody ever feeds him a bullshit story in an attempt to buy time. Nobody ever looks at Jack as he threatens to blow up their home planet if they don’t tell him the location of the Rebel Base and tells him that they’re on Dantooine when they’re actually on Yavin IV.

How effective would that be, anyway? Wouldn’t that be an incredibly gripping tale? Wouldn’t it be amazing to see Jack’s techniques failing him and seeing the bad guys gain the upper hand on him that way? I wonder if we’ll ever see this happen? In any event, it seems to me that the producers are saying this year: “Sure, Jack does bad things, but hey, he’s got to and they always work so it’s all good.” I find that less than satisfying, morally and dramatically.

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Watching 24: 5 pm to 6 pm

Wow! Proof that I don’t wear overalls ALL the time. How about that! But with this, I am now up-to-date on my episodes of 24.

Here I provide an exaggerated reaction to a pretty good little car chase that opened this week’s episode, with Jack and Renee pursuing Dubaku. Did they get him?

[SPOILERS – highlight to read]

Well, sure — after Dubaku’s girlfriend reached forward and covered the driver’s eyes or grabbed his arms or something, causing him to crash. She died in the resulting wreck, sadly enough — another 24 cast member who pays the ultimate sacrifice for being unlucky enough to meet Jack Bauer. Meeting Jack Bauer tends to be a cause of soon and sudden violent death, doesn’t it?

Anyway, there’s something else that bugged me a bit in this episode. After the chase ends and they have Dubaku in custody, Jack has the EMTs cut into Dubaku’s torso so as to get at the flash drive he has had implanted there. On this flash drive is a list of all his co-conspirators in the US government, and it’s the only copy of the database they know to exist. This is a HUGE piece of evidence, and Jack has to make sure it gets to the people at the FBI. So does he take it there himself? No — he has some cop do it, a cop he’s never met before. Huh-whuh?! The most important piece of evidence in this entire case finally comes into your possession, and you entrust it to some dude you’ve never ever seen before? That struck me as terribly, terribly odd for Jack to do. But anyway.

Note the SPOILER text above. That’s because I’m invoking a new rule. Last week, while driving to the library on Thursday, I was listening to Schopp and the Bulldog, which is a show on our local sports talk radio station featuring Mike Schopp and a guy who goes by “Bulldog”. Hence the title. Anyway, they have a daily feature called “Ten Opinions in a Row”, in which they trade opinions on anything they want, sports-related or no. Well, one of them — Bulldog, I think — starts to give an opinion on that week’s episode of 24, which had aired just three nights before; he gave away the episode’s plot twists and discussed the preview for next week’s episode. But I hadn’t yet watched that week’s episode, so I was already a bit annoyed.

But then the other one started to do the very same thing, but instead of 24, he was talking about LOST, and suddenly Bulldog and the other guy in the booth (there’s a third guy who’s always there, even though the show doesn’t have his name on it) start shushing Schopp because he’s giving away spoilers! And I’m thinking, you just spoiled the hell out of 24, so why is LOST sacred as to spoilerage? Well, someone else made that point, saying “Gee, it just aired last night. Some people haven’t watched it yet.” Well, ditto 24! Lots of people DVR stuff and don’t watch it for days at a time, right? So I therefore have the following new Law of Teevee Spoilerage: it is forbidden to discuss spoilers for an episode of a teevee show without warning within one week of that episode’s airing. Once a week is past, all bets are off.

Yes, this only applies to the US. I know, you 24 fans in Europe won’t see these episodes for another year or something like that. Sorry, but in that case, the spoiler warning is, I think, implied. But here, it needs to be stated outright within one week.

And I’m now seriously rethinking this series. I look like the world’s biggest dork.

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Watching 24: 4 pm to 5 pm

The race is on to catch Dubaku! They’re so close…so, so close…and yet, as happens in nearly every single episode, Dubaku has either managed to escape before Jack and Renee get there, or some unforeseen complication has sprung up, this time in the form of the warrants suddenly issued for Jack’s arrest by the FBI mole, which had DC police forming a blockade around Jack’s car as he frantically chased after the escaping Dubaku. Curse you, FBI mole!

And the mole’s identity was finally revealed in this episode, after quite a lot of the show making us wonder which FBI underling the mole was — Janeane Garofalo, or the Tobey MacGuire lookalike. BTW, I’ve always thought Janeane Garofalo is kinda cute, but this show is making her unbelievably dour and frumpy. It’s not unlike what ER did to poor Maura Tierney. Oh well.

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Watching 24: 3 pm to 4 pm


Oh, COME ON!!!, originally uploaded by Jaquandor.

Well, this shot didn’t turn out the way I’d hoped; it looks more like I’m air-guitaring the solo from “Hot For Teacher”. Oh well.

What I’m actually doing is expressing my consternation that Jack Bauer was about five seconds too late, or just missed by that much; he shoots the bad guy, but as the bad guy tumbles backward, he manages to get off his final shot, plugging the First Gentleman in the stomach. So close, Jack!

(I am also starting to think that these posts are making me look like a complete idiot.)

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Watching 24: 2 pm to 3 pm

Due to all the craziness of recent weeks, I am now two episodes behind on my 24 watching. Aieee!!! So I finally started getting caught up, earlier this evening. Now I’m only one episode behind…at least for the next six minutes, because that’s when the newest episode airs, which means I’ll be right back to being two episodes behind. But I should be able to catch up.

In this episode, Jack and Company busted up Dubaku’s operation, destroyed the CIP device…or the CPU device…or the CUP device…or the ICUP device…or whatever it is they’re calling it. Yay, Jack! But here I’m getting all sad and stuff because some character who had been introduced in this episode committed a very brave act of self-sacrifice, for which he died. I’ll always remember you, Chemical Planet Manager John Brunner!!!

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Watching 24: 1 pm to 2 pm

Yeah, it’s a crappy photo. I took it with my phone while watching the episode on my laptop when we were approximately 25000 feet in the air, winging over Indiana or Illinois or one of those states somewhere in the middle, between Boston and Phoenix. Not the best logistics for watching this show, either: my laptop isn’t one of those small laptops, and the guy in front of me insisted on reclining his seat, so I had to tilt my computer so the screen was on my lap and the keyboard was against my chest. But I wanted to see what happens next, so I sucked it up.

As for the plot machinations, I was sad to see Tony’s bad-guy ally bite the dust, as he was an interesting character, if villainous. Could they be sowing the seeds of another fall from grace for Tony Almeida somewhere down the road? And how will the First Husband get out of the mess he is in, since there are two bodies in that apartment now that have his fingerprints all over everything, even if we know that he’s innocent of their murders? Did I miss it, or was there an explanation of just how Bill and Chloe, Jack’s CTU compadres, just happened to have handy some clothes to give to Agent Walker, now that her old clothes are all bloody? How long can it be before the Bob Gunton character is revealed to be the bad guy? (Because Bob Gunton is always the bad guy, which kind of stinks because Bob Gunton is one of my favorite character actors working today and I’d love to see him in a role where he’s not the jerk or bad guy. The best he’s had, in a memorable episode of Star Trek: TNG, was a good guy who’d gone horribly awry due to emotional trauma.)

What I’m really thinking about in this picture, though, is how I’m sitting there in a passenger jet watching an episode of a teevee show in which the terrorist bad guys make their point to the President by using their techno-gizmo to hijack the nation’s air traffic control system and crash two passenger jets together in mid-air, killing everybody and making a nice big fireball in the sky that’s visible from the Oval Office window. This kind of made me think of the scene in Airplane! where the in-flight movie starts off with a depiction of a very fiery plane crash.

If I ever go on a cruise, I’m watching Titanic.

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Watching 24: 12 pm to 1 pm

This season is pretty gripping stuff already, but I’m wondering if the writers may have reached a boil too soon. It’s getting really dense on this show, and one particular plotline — the bit with the President’s husband and his crusade to uncover his son’s murderer — is threatening to spin out of control a bit.

Anyway, I’m resorting to keeping notes now on what’s going on. If this season runs true to form, the show will lose some steam between hours 9 and 14 (this year, roughly between 5 pm and 11 pm) before ramping it back up again toward the finale. From what I’ve read about how the writers work on 24 — that they don’t really plot it all out before they start — that’s generally when they reach the point where they don’t know where they’re going.

Oh, and Agent Walker is the prettiest FBI agent on teevee since Dana Scully.

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Watching 24: 11 am to 12 pm


Who are the good guys, now?, originally uploaded by Jaquandor.

OK, I’m almost caught up with this series thus far; one more pic remains, from this week’s episode. This is the last shot from the first four episodes, that all aired on Sunday and Monday last week. Wow!

Anyway, here I’m noticing a pretty blond FBI agent and realizing that she’s played by Ever Carradine, an actress who formerly appeared on one of my favorite shows of all time, Once and Again, wherein she played Tiffany, the girlfriend of Jake Manning, the cheating ex-husband of Lily Manning (Sela Ward). What’s funny about this is that Jake Manning was played by Jeffrey Nordling, who on this season of 24 is playing…FBI Agent Moss, who is the boss of the Ever Carradine character! It’s a small TV world, huh?

Oh, and Jack Bauer rules.

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Watching 24: 10 am to 11 am (part trois)


Go Jack go!, originally uploaded by Jaquandor.

Last reaction shot for this episode. I thought I was done, but then Jack did something really awesomely Jack Bauer-ish. He was trapped in a parking garage, with FBI agents on either side of him, so he broke into a car, hotwired it, crawled down onto the floor, put the car in gear, and then floored it with his hand on the pedal, sending the car smashing through the outside wall of the garage and into the surface lot next door, allowing him to escape. Before doing all this, Jack said: “This is gonna hurt.”

But nothing ever hurts Jack Bauer too much, because he’s Jack Effing Bauer.

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Watching 24: 10 am to 11 am (part deux)


Huh-whuh?!, originally uploaded by Jaquandor.

Several reactions to this episode. Here I’m wondering just who Tony Almeida is working for. Did he become a bad guy for real? Or is he so deep undercover nobody knows about it anymore? WHO IS TONY WORKING FOR?!

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