Assuming that you have not visited all 48 of the ‘lower’ or ‘Continiguous’ states, of the ones you haven’t visited, which one would you most like to see and why? (I specify the ‘lower 48’ because Hawaii and Alaska are too obvious. Everybody wants to see those!)
A Pile of Doorstops?

So this year I’m re-reading all of George RR Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire (which, when I piled all the books in my arms, I realized should be retitled A Dirge of Back Pain and Eye Strain). I’ve been meaning to do this for a while, and I figure with A Dance with Dragons sitting on my shelf still un-read, it’s time to take the whole series on again. A big reason for this is the long time it took Martin to get this last book out; it’s been so long that I simply don’t remember a lot of the finer details of the series, so I think I might miss out on something if I don’t do the refresher work. I remember reading A Game of Thrones for the first time way back when we’d first moved into our very first apartment in Buffalo, which would have been late 2000, so it’s nearly twelve years since I read that one; a similar period. Wow, this series has been going on for a long time!
I’m reading Game of Thrones right now, actually, and just last night passed the halfway mark. As readable as these books are — the first two, at least — they’re so long that reaching halfway feels like an accomplishment. These are the kinds of books where you sit down, read fifty or sixty pages, and not really feel all that much closer to the end. It takes a lot of reading before the part of the book in my right hand starts to feel noticeably smaller, you know?
I will, of course, post thoughts on each book as I finish them. It’s interesting to me right now, though, that my favorite characters are still my favorite characters, and also that a few characters I didn’t like so much the first time through are more palatable now, which I suppose is partly because I have some idea of where their respective stories are going. I’m also keenly interested to see how my impressions of the books stand up: my recollection is that there is a distinct diminishing of returns with each successive novel; Game is great, Clash is really good, Storm starts to verge on the reading equivalent of sensory overload, and Feast is pretty much of a slog. Is this the way of it? We’ll find out!
Oh, and I’m not re-reading all this straight through. No, I’ll be alternating these books with something else each time. I really don’t want to spend that long of an uninterrupted time in Westeros. That way, madness lies! But anyway, that’s what’s happening. Winter is coming; dark wings, dark words; A Lannister always pays his debts; yada yada yada!
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My retail heaven!
A bookstore? Overalls? In the same place?! Oh that I have not been given leave to live in such a Shangri-la!
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2012 Classics Challenge: “Heart of Darkness”
I’m actually doing a reading challenge in 2012, called the “Classics Challenge”, and hosted by the blog November’s Autumn. The idea is to read seven works of classic literature, of which only two can be re-reads. (You can peruse my list of books here.) Then, on the fourth of every month, November’s Autumn will post a series of prompt questions (first month here) to encourage people to post about their books.
(Side note: I’m seeing a lot of ‘challenges’ like this around Blogistan suddenly. Maybe next year I’ll host one – a F&SF reading challenge, maybe? Something to think about…and I’ve got time!)
So, I decided to start my reading with Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness. Why this one? Well, among other things…it’s short. I chose a mixture of book lengths for my list; there are a couple of short works mixed amongst a couple of doorstops. But why did I choose Heart of Darkness for my list, to begin with? Well…uhh…here’s an embarrassing admission.
I thought I was choosing a different book.
I actually wanted to read that book where a bunch of kids end up stranded out in a jungle or someplace in the wild, and lacking adult supervision, they end up forming a kind of savage society. And I knew that Heart of Darkness dealt with folks who revert to savagery when they spend time in remote wilderness, so I briefly thought that they were the same book. I started Heart of Darkness on New Year’s Day, and got about twenty pages into it before I realized that what I’d really intended to read was Lord of the Flies by William Golding.
Oh well. I was twenty pages into a short (93 pages) novel, so I wasn’t going to stop. Heart of Darkness it was.
And I finished it three days later. One book down, six to go, and I’m only four days into the new year as I write this! Huzzah!!
So anyway, on to Heart of Darkness.
Joseph Conrad lived from 1857 to 1924 and wrote in English, despite the fact that he was a native of the Polish Ukraine and did not speak English until his twenties. Looking into Conrad’s life, I was confused by this – but the history of the national borders of Europe is a messy one. The city of Conrad’s birth is in the present-day Ukraine, but apparently at the time it was considered a part of Poland.
From what I read, Conrad tends to write his stories and novels in nautical settings, and Heart of Darkness is nautical as well, although the chief motif is not the sea but rather the river as seen from the sea, as a pathway leading inland, into a heart or sorts. Heart of Darkness tells a fairly simple story, plot-wise; four men wait on a boat at the mouth of the Thames for the turning of the tide, so they can sail back upriver. While they wait, they listen to one of their number, a man named Marlow, tell about another time he had to sail upriver: years before when he had been contracted by a Belgian trading company to go up a river into the heart of the Congo in search of another company representative, a man named Kurtz, from whom little has been heard.
Marlow’s story is grim. He tells of the travails of getting a boat up that river, whilst contending with the savagery of the local population, savagery which it later turns out has been joined by Kurtz himself. Marlow encounters severe mechanical troubles, uncooperative trade company representatives, attacks by the locals, and the like until he finally reaches Kurtz, finding the man in failing health living in a camp surrounded literally by heads on spikes. Kurtz dies on the way back down the river, and Marlow must journey back to England and tell Kurtz’s fiancee what has happened. She demands to know Kurtz’s last words, and even though they were “The horror! The horror!”, Marlow tells her that her name was the last thing he pronounced.
Heart of Darkness, for all its brevity, was a fairly tough slog. It consists of long, dense paragraphs of description of a dark, dank, muddy, hot place that is unpleasant in nearly all its particulars, and the small cast of characters consists of a largely unsavory lot. There really doesn’t seem to be any mystery as to why Kurtz regressed to savagery; Conrad’s answer seems to be that it is inevitable when one is so solidly sequestered in a place as dark, as grim, as the Congo. I found it difficult reading a book that treats the aboriginal peoples of Africa as nothing more than savages whose only function, storywise, is to provide a contrast to the civilized whites and illustrate the depths to which they can descend.
However, I’m not entirely sure that Conrad totally intended this. As the book closes, Marlow comments that the mouth of the Thames also seems to lead into a heart of darkness. So on the one hand, perhaps his racism is partly forgivable given the time in which he wrote; on the other, perhaps he doesn’t see savagery as inherent in certain peoples of Africa but as something that lurks within all people. Certainly Marlow seems wary of the darkness that lies within his own country, and the darkness that he mind find there, lurking within his own heart.
One other thing I plan to do during this Challenge in 2012 is check out filmed adaptations of the books I read (inasmuch as I can find relevant ones). The go-to film for Heart of Darkness is Francis Ford Coppola’s Apocalypse Now, which transports the book to the Viet Nam war. I’ll be posting about that something later this month (or early next).
I close with a quote:
Droll thing life it – that mysterious arrangement of merciless logic for a futile purpose. The most you can hope from it is some knowledge of yourself – that comes too late – a crop of unextinguishable regrets. I have wrestled with death. It is the most unexciting contest you can imagine. It takes place in an impalpable greyness, with nothing underfoot, with nothing around, without spectators, without clamour, without glory, without the great desire of victory, without the great fear of defeat, in a sickly atmosphere of tepid scepticism, without much belief in your own right, and still less in that of your adversary. If such is the form of ultimate wisdom, then life is a greater riddle than some of us think it to be. I was within a hair’s breadth of the last opportunity for pronouncement, and I found with humiliation that probably I would have nothing to say. This is the reason why I affirm that Kurtz was a remarkable man. He had something to say. He said it. Since I had peeped over the edge myself, I understand better the meaning of his stare, that could not see the flame of the candle, but was wide enough to penetrate all the hearts that beat in the darkness.
Images via.
My next book in the 2012 Classics Challenge is The Arabian Nights.
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Sentential Links
We’ll have some linkage…but first, here’s Peter Dinklage!
OK, now the linkage!
:: The road to hell might be paved with good intentions, but the traffic on that road is governed by the law of unintended consequences. (I know, SOPA is going nowhere, but this is still an excellent post on the subject.)
:: You won’t hear me saying this much, but I agree with Santorum. (I do, too. What’s the world coming to!)
:: One thing I think everyone can agree on is that Velveeta considered to be the equivalent of Satanism. The antithesis of cheese, yet a cheese in and of itself, worshipped only by those who rebuke the whole concept of flavor itself. Hail Velveeta, the eternal and undying one! (The Wife makes a chicken casserole in which Velveeta is a prominent ingredient. I actually like the casserole…but Ye Gods, Velveeta is not cheese.)
:: Love them or hate them, the Star Wars prequels will not being going anywhere anytime soon. (You bet your ass, they aren’t!)
More next week!
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Sunday Burst of Weird and Awesome
Oddities and Awesome abound!!!
:: Seventy-five years ago, a whole bunch of special beer was brewed in Britain on the occasion of the coronation of King Edward VII. But that coronation never took place, because the King abdicated so he could marry the woman he loved (thus bringing a stutterer to the throne…note to self: write blog post about The King’s Speech). So the beer was left in a cellar and forgotten…until now.
:: In Siberia, a diesel truck ended up in a river. The river was deep enough to completely submerge pretty much the entire truck except for the cab and the engine compartment. The truck won.
One of the YouTube comments dubs the truck “Truck Norris”. I find it hard to disagree.
:: Nick Mamatas doesn’t think too highly of some common bits of writing advice. I tend to pretty much ignore all of it myself, by this point, and simply try to do the very best that I can on the story that I want to tell. Of course, I’m still an unpublished schlub, so who cares what I think, right?
More next week!
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All Things Pie
Pie on the brain lately!
:: Beth Howard, who has become one of my favorite bloggers, has been working on a book called Making Piece, which is about how she dealt with awful grief (her husband passed away suddenly at a terribly young age) by, among other things, throwing herself into pie-baking and from there to pie evangelism. Her book is now available for pre-order. I’ll definitely be getting a copy. I’ve found that learning new things, and becoming a bit obsessive about them, is a good way to (at least partially) deal with grief.
:: On the making of pie…I do love a good pot pie, although I hadn’t made one in quite a long time until last week, when I did what pot pies are for and made one as a way to use up some leftover meats. In this case I used leftover ham from New Year’s and leftover smoked beef sausage. The result was like this:

I thickened some beef broth with a roux and added some onion and sauteed mushrooms, in addition to the meats. The crust? Well…I really need to start making my own. This was a store-bought crust, one of those ones you unroll. The resulting pie was tasty, but a bit on the salty side. I’ll be revisiting the pot pie concept again soon, though — next week I intend to make some pulled pork, which I think would make an interesting pot pie!
Part of my problem with making pie crust is that we only really have one spot in the kitchen area suitable to the rolling out of a dough, and that’s our dining room table, which isn’t always free of obstruction. (Translation: we tend to pile an awful lot of clutter on our table.) Not that clearing the table takes very long, but it’s just a whole extra step, you know?
:: Speaking of baking pie, I wonder if this gizmo, which Roger Green e-mailed to me, actually works? It seems…well, it seems odd. Why not just bake two pies? How strange!
:: My favorite pie for eating has always been apple, which cries out for a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream and some caramel sauce drizzled on top:

I just can’t get behind that whole “cheddar cheese on apple pie” thing, though. Cheddar cheese and sliced raw apples are great together, but…I can’t make the leap from there to cheese-on-apple-pie. Sorry!
:: Roger also e-mailed me a while back a couple of posts by Mark Evanier, on the subject of pies as comedic props (i.e., pies for forceful application to people’s faces). It makes for interesting reading, as Evanier spells out some techniques (here and here) for what he considers ‘proper’ pie-throwing. Basically he says that pies for throwing should consist of a crust outside of the tin or pan, filled with shaving cream. I suppose he may have a point, if your pie-throwing is part of some kind of performed skit of stage show or something like that. Quick clean-up and the lack of any souring-milk aromas are certainly desirable factors. But as for myself, well…I’m not a stage actor, and I sure don’t want to get hit with something that tastes like soap because it basically is soap! Nope, if it’s going in my face, I want the real thing.
:: Finally, some funny behind-the-scenes photos. Here’s Natalie Wood on the set of The Great Race, whilst shooting that film’s pie fight:
(EDIT: I couldn’t remember where I got that photo from…but now I do. And contrary to Mr. Evanier, it turns out that all those pies in that pie fight were real! No shaving cream at all!
And here is actress Mia Sara, on the set of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. For some reason she’s getting pied. No idea why.
That about covers it. Pie is awesome!

A pie in the face is a wonderful thing!
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‘We can’t repel odor of that magnitude!’
I’m really glad I wasn’t drinking coffee yet this morning when George Takei posted this on Facebook, because I would likely have spit the coffee out all over the place.
Well, folks, with my embrace of poop jokes, I can safely say that this blog’s journey towards the Dark Side may be complete!
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Saturday Centus – The Return!
OK, folks, we’re now far enough into January that life is settling back down in a quasi-normal kind of thing. The Holiday season just past was a wonderful one, but it was also abnormally busy, even by my standards — the Holidays are always busy, but this time it was “Wow, what a whirlwind!” I eventually just had to put some things on the back burner, such as regular features of this blog — the Centus among them. Well, now I’m ready to jump back in again, so here we go…only, this week’s prompt assumes that I’ve done the last two prompts. This, therefore, means that I need to resort to trickery and skulduggery. In short…I am going to cheat, and do all three prompts in one.
Prompt the first was to write a cliffhanger; prompt the second was to resolve it; prompt the third is to give it an epilogue. OK? OK! So, I now offer a haiku. Line one is the cliffhanger, line two is the resolution, and line three, the epilogue.
Will he or won’t he?
He thinks and chooses, “I will!”
And therefore, he did.
A belated Happy New Year to all Centusians, and it’s good to see you all again!
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Onward and Upward!
I haven’t updated my progress on Princesses In SPACE!!! (not the actual title) in a while, so here’s where things stand. In the two months since my last word count update here, I’ve produced an additional 21,000 words, which is a nice total. That’s a bit off the pace of 500 words a day that I’ve been trying to maintain, but there were extenuating circumstances. (Sigh…aren’t there always?)
First, of course, the last update came a couple weeks before Thanksgiving, so I had to get through the Holiday season, with all its distractions and demands on time, which all conspired to produce more days where I didn’t produce a single word than I would have liked.
More demanding, however, was my realization a few weeks back that I needed to do some backtracking. I don’t like to backtrack or edit as I go; it’s my firm belief that “This way, madness lies”. I’m the kind of person who can get totally bogged down in my own editing, and I could lose myself in trying to make fifty or a hundred pages totally perfect in favor of getting the story told. And even with this bit of revision work, I really had to discipline myself to not get sucked into too much sentence-fixing.
So why the revision? As I noted at the time, I came to realize that a part of my backstory wasn’t as solid as it could have been, which meant that there were times when certain characters’ actions felt forced and contrived instead of something a person might actually do in that particular circumstance. So I had to suspend “forward progress” and retreat a bit into the narrative, doing some fixing work and strengthening some things and removing others.
Now, there are things that I know will have to be changed when I go back and do the real editing, and in most cases I just make a notation in a file I helpfully call “Notations for editing”, to which I will refer when I go back to fix things. In a lot of cases I can just set the changes in my mind and write from a certain point as if the changes are in effect. But this time, the changes were too involved to do that. I had to backtrack.
And now I’m done backtracking, with the helpful side effect that this work has helped the rest of the story crystallize in my brain a bit. That’s a very welcome development!
So at this point, I’m just about ready to start the final third of the book. Allegiances are revealed! Traitors are unmasked! Loves are declared! Spaceships are flown! Princesses are rescued and do some rescuing! And the Universe will never be the same! Until next time…Excelsior!!!
(So, how was my Stan Lee impersonation?)










