It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the time of Lists, it was the time of bloggers complaining about Lists….

:: Aaron is bemused by VH1’s Top 100 Songs of the Last Twenty-Five Years. (For some reason, VH1 had the entire list on the linked page, but now it’s gone, and numbers 81-100 can be found somewhere by following circuitous links. I didn’t look any farther for the rest of the damn thing, though. I saw it once, and that was quite enough.) I don’t have anything to say, really, except to note that I can’t conceive of any list other than “Songs Written By Human Beings on the Planet Earth between 1975 and 1998, Inclusive” that should include both “Another Brick In the Wall, Part II” and “MMMBop”. (Just think: some music “expert”, somewhere, was giving some input for this list. Thus, the words “Hey, ‘MMMBop’ is a really great song!” actually crossed someone’s lips. Probably the same person who keeps laughing with Carrot Top instead of at him.)

:: The King of Dietary Fiber has some choice words for the folks at E!, on the occasion of their Ten Worst Sequels list. Yes, they list The Phantom Menace as number one. No, I’m not going to rant about it, because my compatriot already does. (Well, OK, just a little bit: anyone who cites TPM‘s opening crawl as an example of what’s wrong with the film is a damn idiot, and that’s that. We can’t have a movie about a war that’s brought on by a taxation-and-trade dispute? Well, shit, they’d better not make any more movies about the American Revolution, then.) I am flummoxed, as is my lieutenant, by the inclusion of The Color on Money. Now, this isn’t my favorite movie — I’ve only seen it a couple of times — but I never thought it a bad movie by any means; actually, I recall it as being pretty good. I seem to recall Ebert complaining that the movie doesn’t show the outcome of the pool-match between Newman and Cruise at the end, but as I recall, the point isn’t that they’re playing for it all, but that Newman is back in action. I may be wrong there, however. It’s been a long time. But anyway, how can this list possibly omit the Highlander sequels (not that the first one was any good to begin with, but there it is)? Or the Superman movies (I’d include all of them, really). Oh, and not only is Speed 2: Cruise Control not as bad as everyone thinks, but Speed wasn’t quite as good as everyone thinks. Both are slick action flicks, nothing more.

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Interesting thing I noticed on SiteMeter lately: I have a regular reader who, when her visits are logged by SiteMeter, apparently has whatever page she had been viewing immediately prior to visiting mine listed on my SiteMeter as the referring page. So these pages didn’t actually link me after all. I’m not sure why SiteMeter does this for her, and apparently for no one else (as far as I can tell, anyway), but I typically don’t give it much thought. Except for this morning, because the non-linking referrer was InstaPundit. I saw that in my log, and I got all a-twitter for a minute, thinking that Insty had linked me and that I was about to receive more traffic than ever before. Alas, ’twas not to be….

(Yeah, this is a slow blogging day….)

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Rachel‘s right: the statement she overheard in her class, with reference to Hillary Clinton, is indeed “asshatted”. The problem, though, is that Rachel’s own statement is also asshatted. And what’s more, I’d probably bet money — if I had some — that more people would advance Rachel’s claim than the other poor deluded soul’s. So, if anything, I think Rachel unfortunately takes home the “asshatted” prize here. Or, putting it another way, which is more likely: that in ten years, the person uttering the original statement still believes it, or that in ten years, Rachel still believes her own statement?

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Whoa….I’m on the new Blogger….whoa….(grabs desk to keep room from spinning)

Immediate impressions: I prefer looking at my log on a different browser window entirely while I’m posting, so I’ll just keep doing things that way. Also, I have to assume that my archiving ability will return at some point? I’m proceeding from the assumption that my archive posts still exist on the BlogSpot servers, and that this is a bug that needs to be worked out. It’s a nice-looking interface, though. I’ll give it a chance for a while, since, well, I don’t have much choice otherwise. (It occurred to me that I could go to MovableType and host Byzantium’s Shores on my ISP’s web space, where my template graphics are already stored, but I think I’d still rather wait until I can afford full-hosting at LogJamming or Hosting Matters or some such place. That, and I’d still want my own domain name, which I can’t afford right now.)

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Well, that was a short stint on unemployment. I guess Greg’s happy that the Big Tax Cut created a new job, just for him, eh?

(BTW, Greg, if your new job puts you in any kind of position to hire a freelance copywriter….well, you know….)

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OK, here’s a question: is it really that hard to read pages that have light text on dark backgrounds, or is this just something that people believe because someone “in the know” once told them that this is the case? I’ve never considered light-text on a dark background hard to read, in-and-of itself — in fact, I remember playing text-adventure games for hours on an Apple II and other ancient dinosaur-computers where there was no choice other than light text on dark background, and I didn’t go blind. (I wear glasses for mild farsightedness, but that’s about it.) But then, the vast majority of weblogs I read are dark-text-on-white or some other light color, so I can’t say that if I had to sit for hours in front of light-text-on-dark, I wouldn’t find it hard. I guess I like a contrast more than anything. So is this site, for example, hard to read?

(I’m wondering because in the midst of complaining about some stuff, Rachel Lucas specifically states that she refuses to read light-text-on-dark, which means she’ll never link me, I guess. But then, she’ll also never link me because I am a “liberal wanker”, so it probably doesn’t matter anyway.)

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Collaboratory is showing some signs of life again, after a fallow-period; and as always, fascinating things abound at Laputan Logic, with written number systems up for the usual amazing discussion. Check them out.

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The number of cars parked in the lot at Borders struck me as a bit odd this morning, but I didn’t give it any thought. I also didn’t give much consideration to the police car sitting in front, which I chalked up to the presence next door of Krispy Kreme. But when I saw a large number of men milling about outside the store, I started to suspect that something was up. Some of these people were wearing those vests with all the pockets, that outdoors-type folks wear. Some wore shirts with the American flag printed on them. A couple of guys were dressed in nice suits, with lapel pins in the shape of rifles. And two fellows wore t-shirts with the Second Amendment printed on the back — one of which was complete, while the other excised that troublesome first phrase in the Amendment.

Yup, strange things were afoot at Borders.

I went inside, where I was promptly greeted by one of the store’s workers. I’m never greeted at Borders. Not that the folks who work there are unfriendly, but it’s not Wal-Mart: they don’t pay someone to stand there and greet people. Glancing back into the store, I saw a huge throng of people gathered in the area between the book and music sections, with many more men dressed in much the same manly-fashion as the fellows outside. The worker approaches me with a notepad as I’m attempting to look through the magazines, and asks, “Are you here to see Mr. LaPierre?”

It was then that I noticed the immense display stand off to the left, which was jam-packed with books whose cover depict an American eagle, next to a table laden to groaning with more copies of the same book. Unbeknownst to me, in my biweekly jaunt to Borders to see what’s new, I had wandered into a Wayne LaPierre booksigning.

It was a strange thing to behold. First, I had no idea that this event was taking place, so the mere fact of seeing that many people in Borders on what should have been a slow Tuesday was off-putting in itself. But then I looked over the crowd itself. There really wasn’t any one characteristic shared by all of them, except that where most of the men were dressed in some way which made their gun-views (or political views in general) well-known, the women who were there for the signing (and there were more than a few) were dressed like…well, like they’d dress if they were going to the grocery store or whatever else they do when they’re not at work. I don’t doubt their commitment to the Second Amendment cause, but it struck me that the women were unwilling to actually incorporate that cause into their fashion for the day.

Other than that, there were other things I noticed. A few of these folks were standing rooted in a single spot, clutching their four copies of Mr. LaPierre’s book in a white-fingered grip and looking quite as if this was the only way they’d ever be caught dead purchasing books outside a Wal-Mart. But there were other folks, also with their copy in hand, walking around book-shopping like normal.

So, in some ways, the crowd attending Mr. LaPierre’s booksigning conformed to what I would expect of a crowd attended such an event. But in other ways, the crowd did not conform to any such expectation. And when you think about it, that’s probably the way it is with any group.

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Time for some Star Wars babbling. (As opposed to “Angry Star Wars ranting about evil whining fans”)

The Nixon to my Eisenhower has some thoughts about Han Solo and his recent listing as one of the AFI’s Top Heroes, at the expense of Luke Skywalker. He’s got some interesting thoughts, and he’s got me thinking now. (Damn him!) My thought is: We all know that Luke experiences a hero’s journey. Does Han?

I say, yes, he does. In some ways, he even has a longer journey to make than Luke, considering where he starts.

When we first meet Han, he is a cynical space smuggler and pirate. He conducts himself with swagger, he shoots first and maybe asks questions later (but probably not), he generally acts before really thinking everything through, he showboats for the benefit of the ladies (well, lady, but you get the idea), et cetera. He is, as my VP notes, a “scoundrel”. And even though he has, in his words, “flown from one end of this Galaxy to the other”, his worldview is, if anything, even more limited than Luke’s, because he only sees things in terms of their immediate importance to him. So the farmboy who’s never left Tatooine has a wider, more inclusive worldview than does the space pirate who has “seen it all”. This is the essential point to understanding Han Solo’s heroic journey.

(This is also why George Lucas’s decision to have Greedo shoot first is such a mistake: it undermines our understanding of where Han Solo is, as a character. Han’s shooting of Greedo contrasts with Yoda’s later admonition to Luke that a Jedi “only uses the Force for defense, never for attack”.)

Han’s actions in A New Hope are almost exclusively geared toward self-preservation, whether it’s working to get the Falcon off the Death Star or whether it’s taking a lucrative (he thinks) charter so as to earn enough money to pay off Jabba the Hutt. Even after their daring escape from the Empire’s clutches, Han says to the Princess: “I’m not in this for your revolution, and I’m not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well-paid. I’m in it for the money.” This comes some time after Luke has taken his first baby-steps with using the Force, when Obi Wan says, “You’ve taken your first step into a larger world”. For all his provincial farmboy naivete, Luke has already jumped past Han Solo.

This is the purpose that Han ultimately serves in the story: to provide contrast to Luke’s heroic journey. (This is one reason why people who complain that there is no Han-analogue in the prequels are missing the point: they’re misunderstanding why Han is in the story to begin with. A scoundrel/rogue in the prequels would stick out like a sore thumb in the story those films are telling.) Han is constantly one step behind Luke in terms of heroic development.

Toward the end of ANH, Han begins to show signs of doubt, but he still finds it hard to commit. (A man with commitment issues! Who’d have thunk it!) But in the end, commit he does: he turns around from his own self-interest, and instead comes back to help Luke at his most crucial moment. This is the moment where Han, too, takes his first step into that larger world (figuratively speaking; he’s clearly not entering “the Force”). Note his words to Luke: “You’re all clear, kid, so let’s blow this thing and go home.” (My emphasis.) He doesn’t say, “Let’s blow this thing and get back to the base”. He says, “Go home”. He’s starting to identify with the cause, in some small measure.

Of course, it takes him a while. After ANH, he delays his payment of Jabba to help the Rebels, although he never actually joins them. But as The Empire Strikes Back opens, Han has had a scare — a bounty hunter on Ord Mandell — and decides it’s time to get back to business. He makes no commitment to return to the Rebels once he pays Jabba; his manner conveys that he really thinks he’s leaving these people for good, and getting back to what he had been doing before. Of course, he gets sidetracked again: concern for Leia keeps him from lifting off and flying away to his own tasks when the Empire arrives at Hoth, and then he gets her out of there on his ship. The film doesn’t establish this, but through all the problems with the Falcon‘s hyperdrive and the asteroids and the space slug and the mynocks and the betrayal at Bespin, presumably Han’s plan is to get Leia to the Rebel rendezvous and then go take care of Jabba. He never gets there, of course. But he’s getting more involved, because he’s in love with Leia. (I think this is pretty clear. If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have gone back into the Rebel Command Center when the whole place is falling apart. He sure didn’t go in there out of concern for General Riekann.)

So, it’s on to Return of the Jedi, in which Han’s heroic journey becomes complete. A lot of Star Wars fans don’t like how Han is handled in that film, but I disagree, because this is where Han has been headed all along. Just a few years before, it would be unthinkable to him that a handful of people would risk their lives to wrest him from the clutches of Jabba the Hutt, and this shows Han that his previous life is over. Thus it passes that, once he’s rescued and his eyesight returns, he doesn’t just accompany the other heroes to the Rebels. He joins them, making himself part of the whole and explicitly admitting, for the first time in his life, that there is something in the Galaxy that’s bigger than himself and his smuggling and debts to Hutt mobsters. Of course, Han can’t totally suppress his former impulses, so he cracks wise and blunders a bit when trying to sneak up on some stormtroopers in the forest and whatnot. But he accepts a dangerous mission, sticks with it until the end, and in a touching scene gets mad at Leia and then immediately apologizes and takes her in his arms as she cries. Such behavior, such concern for others, was unthinkable to the Han Solo of ANH or the first part of TESB. (ROTJ probably overdoes the wisecracking-Han element at the expense of the more serious Han, but the serious stuff is there.)

I confess that I’m not sure why so many fans are down on Han in ROTJ. Maybe it seems a tad anticlimactic that Han basically takes three films to get to where Luke was at the end of one. I found his journey perfectly satisfying. Harrison Ford has said that he wanted Han to die in ROTJ, but I think that would have been a terrible decision, and I’m glad Lucas vetoed it. I don’t have a problem with heroes dying heroic deaths (Fionavar Tapestry, eh, Michelle?), but Han…I don’t think so. There was a heroic death, and it was a big one: Vader/Anakin. Anything else would have been overkill: the loss of such a beloved character as Han Solo would have detracted from the emotional focus on the conflict in Vader’s soul, thus cheapening it. And quite frankly, I wouldn’t have wanted to see Leia’s sadness at losing the man she loves at the saga’s end. (Lando dying, which I still believe is apocryphal, would have also struck me as a false note.)

Han Solo is ultimately a hero because he learns that sometimes “Us” is more important than “Me”. His journey isn’t the central one on the original trilogy, but it’s a heroic journey nonetheless.

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Today marks the entrance into the market of my two latest stories. The baseball one, “One More Dying Quail”, was inspired by the Gregg Easterbrook “Tuesday Morning Quarterback” football columns that I enjoy so much. Easterbrook likes to refer, every so often, to “the Football Gods”, as in: “Mike Martz should not have run up the score against the Jets, because the Football Gods were watching, and that’s why they lost the Super Bowl.” So, I wrote a story about the actual “Baseball Gods”.

And the other story, the Snow White one, has a very simple idea: just what ever happened to the Huntsman, anyway? The guy who was supposed to kill Snow White and present her heart to the Queen in that nice little box, but instead spared her life and tricked the Queen with the heart of a pig? I’ve never had a story pour out of me like this one did — the first draft was done in a week, and in editing I only excised about 200 of its original 7500 words. Of course, my experience matters not a whit; it’s the editors who matter. We’ll see….

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