OK, I tried adding BlogMatrix‘s RSS feed to Byzantium’s Shores yesterday, and the thing still isn’t working. Can anyone else who’s using this service speculate as to why it’s not working? Sean, maybe?

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I’m all for the onward march of technology, but…well, in the words of Jerry Seinfeld, “Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.”

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Is there any stupid thought about the left that Glenn Reynolds will leave unsaid? (It’s his very last line.)

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The Cigarette-Smoking-Man to my Agent Mulder is annoyed at the lack of respect in the entertainment media these days for withholding spoilers. While I’m generally not obsessive about staying “spoiler-free” — I don’t actively seek out spoilers for movies, books and TV shows, but I don’t automatically shy away from them, either — he’s definitely got a point. People seem to think nothing of dropping the big news in articles, such as the TIME article about the upcoming Matrix sequel that my CSM cites. And it goes a lot farther than that.

:: TV promos advertise when shows have surprise endings, completely ignoring the fact that much of the impact of a surprise ending stems not just from the surprise, but by our discovery that there’s a surprise in the first place. “Don’t miss the last five minutes” is always a disclaimer on NBC, as if anyone’s going to watch fifty minutes of an hour-long show and then say, “Oh well, we’ve seen enough. Let’s check ESPN.”

:: When Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace was still a month away from release, the soundtrack CD was issued. So Star Wars fans went out to buy the new CD, and when they glanced at the track listing, they find titles such as “Qui Gon’s Noble End” and “Qui Gon’s Funeral”. Annoyance galore.

:: Book blurbs these days increasingly spoil a book’s contents and plot points, or the book’s cover art will depict a climactic event that’s pretty essential.

It would be nice if we could restore at least some of the thrill of discovery to our entertainment.

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I may have posted this before, but I honestly don’t recall, so I’ll do so again. Joseph Duemer taught a class this past semester in which one of the requirements was that the students therein write a blog. They can all be perused here.

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A couple of more book-and-litrichaw notes for today:

:: A writer named James Frey is apparently aspiring to some lofty heights, and using a lot of profanity in voicing those aspirations. I do want to read his book. (And come to think of it, has anyone else had the experience that people whose last name is “Frey” tend to be a little…off?)

:: SF writer Charles Stross, one of the “new wave” of Scottish writers bringing energetic writing to the genre, has an interesting article on his blog detailing his process of novel-writing and his suggestions for first-time novelists. Upon reflection of how I’ve been going about it, I’ve pretty much done none of what he suggests. My process basically boils down to, “Write the whole story, and then revise it and revise it and revise it until it no longer sucks.” Your mileage may vary.

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A long-standing bit of cultural faith is that of all the millions of people who bought copies of Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time, a small percentage thereof actually read it — most simply bought it so they could have it on their shelves and feel the vibes of brilliance cascading off it. A literary status symbol, not unlike toting around a copy of David Eggers’s A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.

(I did read Hawking’s book. But I make this claim with the adjoining disclaimer that my most frequent utterance whilst doing so was “Huh?” I also read the Eggers volume, which I greatly enjoyed. But since I came away from it with my heart most certainly not broken, I think I missed something there, too.)

There are many reasons why we read the books we do, and there are times when we select our books as status — what we read reflects on who we are. Richard Bach once wrote, “If I want to understand someone quickly, I look at his bookshelf.” This is also true of presidential candidates, who are always selecting those books that make them look either reflective, statesmanlike, or deeply faithful. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with this per se — especially if they’re actually reading these books and not just dropping titles. But still, I’d love to hear a candidate say something like, “Well, I’m reading Lord of the Rings for the sixth time. And there’s a new cookbook out by Alton Brown that’s a hoot. I recently finished the new Tom Clancy, and I think I’m going to stop buying him in hardcover — he’s just too bloated. And say, when exactly does the new Harry Potter come out?”

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In film music geek news, composer Alan Silvestri (Back to the Future, Contact, Forrest Gump) has been released from his duties for the upcoming film Pirates of the Caribbean. This is, of course, a development of staggering bogusity. SIlvestri is a gifted composer of accessible, and yet distinctive, film music and I was really looking forward to hearing the results of his encounter with the “Big Swashbuckler” genre. Now, instead we’ll get another bland, cookie-cutter score from Hans Zimmer’s Media Ventures factory. So, yes, whoever is responsible for this decision should be made to walk the plank. Pronto. Geek mode “off”.

(And it’s my blog, so if I want to make up words like “bogusity”, I will do just that. Harumph. Where the hell is my coffee?!)

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Hey, a victory for the good guys! Kevin Drum has eclipsed Little Green Footballs on the Ecosystem. Go team!!

(But I’m still a “Crawly Amphibian”. Must….get….links….)

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I watched the last fifteen minutes or so of Alias‘s season finale last night. It was what I call a “Type II Cliffhanger”. This is a cliffhanger where the show ends just after a huge revelation is unveiled about the plot or characters, and then we’re left wondering (a) if it’s true and (b) if so, what are the implications thereof? The classic Type II Cliffhanger, of course, occurs in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, when we’re left wondering, “Jeez, is Darth Vader really Luke’s father?”

TESB isn’t exclusively a Type II Cliffhanger, though; it’s actually a blend of Type II, Type III, and the more familiar Type I. Type I is simply when you leave your characters in serious jeopardy for their lives, and that’s where the word “cliffhanger” comes from in the first place. In TESB this is the freezing of Han Solo. Other notable examples are the assassination attempt that closed out the first season of The West Wing, and the X-Files episode “Anasazi”, in which we fade out with Mulder trapped in a buried and burning railroad car.

One of the most famous cliffhangers of all time, though, is the shooting of J.R. Ewing on Dallas. You might initially think this is a Type I cliffhanger, but it’s not — it’s Type III. J.R.’s survival wasn’t much in doubt (the character was by far the most popular on the show, which was then entering the height of its popularity). So what’s Type III? That’s when you either set up a mystery to be cleared up next year (or next movie), or simply leave the story unfinished. J.R.’s shooting, then, is actually known better by its mystery: “Who shot J.R.?” Likewise, TESB invokes Type III in a couple of ways — it leaves the Rebels on the verge of utter defeat, it leaves us wondering if Luke will ever become a Jedi, we wonder who “the other hope” that Yoda had mentioned earlier is, et cetera. This is all in addition to Vader’s revelation (Type II) and Han’s unresolved fate (Type I).

Which brings me to Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. I found it funny, when the film came out, how many reviewers complained about the film’s lack of an ending. But Peter Jackson could have done even worse: he could have ended it the way the book ends. The film is Type III all the way: the final war against Mordor is being set up, and Gollum is scheming to lead Frodo and Sam into certain doom. But while most of the Type III stuff still applies in the book, when you reach the last page Gollum has already led the two Hobbits into certain doom. The book literally ends with the gates slamming shut with Sam on the outside, and the final sentence is this: “Frodo was alive but taken by the enemy.” Classic Type I, and I can imagine the howls of protest that would have erupted in theaters nationwide if Jackson had brought us to that point and then rolled the credits.

I suppose there could be a Type IV cliffhanger. This is the “accidental” cliffhanger, which exists for shows whose futures aren’t certain at the time of writing, so that the writers have to leave things open enough for subsequent plotlines if they’re renewed but settled enough for closure if they’re not. This is what happened to Ed this year, what with the “at last” admission of love between Ed and Carol Vescey. It also happened on the second-to-last season of Magnum, PI; a surreal episode involving Magnum’s death was made and televised, but then the show was suddenly renewed, so some backtracking was in order.

And that, friends, is more than you ever wanted to know.

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