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A couple of responses to some things posted by Rachel Lucas:

:: The story contained in this post, assuming it really happened (and I have no reason to assume that it didn’t), is certainly nauseating. That someone would go to such lengths to behave in such a fashion is despicable. But for God’s sake, Rachel, that is not a reason to tar all anti-war people with the same damn brush. I am so unbelievably tired of seeing this kind of thing, on both sides of the political spectrum, and it doesn’t help matters when we keep resuscitating the myth — whether it’s the left-wing myth or the right-wing myth — that it’s the other side that does mean-spirited, vindictive crap to “us poor regular folks who are just trying to go about our business”.

:: Rachel also defended, in two separate posts, the notion of violence as a solution to problems. I am not anti-war, certainly, and I’ve never subscribed to the idea that war is inherently bad — well, not that, but the idea that war is never the correct answer to a particular problem. However, when thinking through problems like these — especially the Robert A. Heinlein quote — I worry that the pendulum is pushed too far in the other direction, namely, that war and violence are more a solution than they really are.

The problem I have with war is not so much that it doesn’t work, because that’s simply historically false: World War II was a pretty effective solution to the Hitler problem and the Imperial Japan problem; the American Revolution was a strikingly effective solution to a host of problems between England and her colonies. The problem with war is that it seems to me best geared toward solving very specific problems — and then, not so much solving the problem from the standpoint of addressing why the problem happened in the first place, but simply removing the problem altogether — and that’s about it. If I may indulge in a poker metaphor, war tends to shuffle the deck, or worse, upset the table and spill everyone’s chips to the floor. And while it is certainly true that the specific objective for the war may be achieved — the illegally invading army may be pushed back to its own country, the evil dictator may be killed or removed, the ruling faction’s policy of “ethnic cleansing” may be halted — it’s spectacularly hard to know whether the situation that exists after the achievement of that objective is any more conducive to long-term peace and prosperity than the situation that existed before it. War is not unlike surgery to remove cancerous tissue: it may work in that regard, and it can pave the way to health and prosperity afterwards for the person undergoing the surgery. But it can also lead to more health problems, more pain and suffering for the patient, and ultimately not play much of a role at all in whether the patient lives for another five years or merely another five weeks.

That’s why I waffled so long on the current war, and it’s why my ultimate support of this war is still quite soft, even as we’re fighting it. Getting Saddam Hussein the hell out of power — and, if need be, the hell off this mortal coil altogether — is, in itself, desirable. The problem I keep running into is whether the world will really move into a better position afterward. I’m supporting the war because I simply can’t envision a peaceful and just world that includes Saddam in charge of Iraq. But I’m also scared because I can envision any number of violent, warlike futures that arise not because Saddam’s still alive, but because he’s dead.

So, I disagree with pacifists who maintain that war and violence are never the answer. But I’m completely unconvinced that war and violence are ever the entire answer, either.

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One of my favorite authors is Christopher Moore, who writes darkly humorous novels that usually have some supernatural element — his tone usually reminds me of some of the comedic episodes of The X-Files, particularly the ones written by Darin Morgan or Vince Gilligan. My favorite books of his are still the first ones I read, Island of the Sequined Love Nun, a whacky story about an airline pilot who is forced into a kind of exile in the South Pacific, and Bloodsucking Fiends, a love story about a boy and his vampire girlfriend. I found his most recent book, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal something of a mixed bag — some of it was very funny indeed, but the dark tone of the book’s last hundred pages or so didn’t work as well.

Anyway, Moore has a new book coming out in a couple of months: Fluke, or I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings”. The novel is describe as “a rollicking adventure involving an age-old conspiracy, top-level military secrets, a highly evolved super race with a penchant for baked goods, the source of all life on the planet, a very bizarre long-distance love affair, and a megalomaniac undersea ruler thrown in for good measure.”

I can’t wait.

(BTW, I was introduced to Moore by a certain being of pure evil who shall not be named.)

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I tend to not be as anal as some when it comes to matters of language. Just for one example, I’m not one of those people who decries the use of the word decimate as meaning “destroy a large percentage of” (as in, “Homer sure decimated that box of donuts”), on the basis that decimate‘s original meaning was quite specific: “to destroy one-tenth of”. Language shifts and meanders, and words that mean one thing today might well mean something quite different a hundred years from now. This is one reason why readers tend to have a hard time when they first read Shakespeare, for example.

But one thing that does bug me is our insistence on abbreviating words or coming up with “shorter” versions of words, quite often for no reason other than “the coolness factor”. Blog is one such word. I find the word blog inherently ugly — for some reason, it sounds to my ears more appropriate to describe, well, something relevant to a proctological exam. Plus, it’s a shortened form of Web log, which seems to me just fine and not in need of “reduction” or abbreviation. I fail to see where we gain anything by going from six letters to four, except that somehow we’ve consensually agreed that blog is cool whereas Web log is nerdy, I guess. I tried avoiding blog when I started Byzantium’s Shores, but I’ve come to concede the word even though I don’t like it.

So, this morning when I checked the news on MSN, I found a side-headline in their war coverage that read as follows: “World Reax”.

Reax.

Now, come on. That’s just goofy. It really is. It can’t be because of space or line-length, because there are other headlines that are longer, with some taking up two lines. I doubt very much it would be that hard to write “World reacts” or “World reactions“, depending on what’s required. Now, maybe reax is some bit of military jargon that I’m simply unfamiliar with, and MSN is trying to hew to that line. But I’m not the military, and actual English is just fine for me. Let’s leave the soldier-talk to the soldiers who actually have a reason to talk that way.

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Well, I guess it’s clear how out of touch I am with comics: when I posted last week’s Image of the Week, I was unaware that Wonder Woman’s look has been “updated” to reflect a new time. Apparently she looks like this now, as contrasted with her original, WWII-era appearance:

OK, I guess. But I prefer long hair, really.

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Speaking of the NCAA Tournament, I’m reminded of a Puzzler once offered on NPR’s CarTalk. It goes something like this (paraphrasing liberally, as I’m not going to search their archives for the thing):

A guy in a small town somewhere decides, upon winning the Lottery, to open a bar somewhere in the Great Plains. After choosing the town — Sturgis, SD — by throwing a dart at a map, he opens his bar in late winter. Business is decent to start with, but after a few months he wants to drum up some publicity, so he decides that he’s going to hold an arm-wrestling tournament toward the end of summer. He pays a buddy of his to promote the thing on the Internet, sets up the dates, and waits for the participants to sign in. A few weeks later, he calls his buddy to find out how it’s going, and the buddy tells him:

“Man, I forgot to tell you: the dates we chose are during the Sturgis Bike Rally, when thousands of people on Harley motorcycles flock to town. We’ve got 16, 348 people signed up for the tournament! I gotta start setting it up, but first I gotta figure out how many matches that’s gonna take. That’ll take forever….”

“Wait a minute,” says the bar owner. “It’s a single-elimination tournament, right?”

“Yeah. But 16,348 people! How many matches is that?”

And without missing a beat, the bar owner tells him exactly how many matches the tournament will require. Question: How did he know, so quickly?

——-

Obviously one could figure this out with paper and pencil, dividing everything by two and counting up the matches. But in a tournament of this size, clearly this would take some time, especially for a couple of bumpkins living in Sturgis who are unaware of the Bike Rally each year! So, how does the bar owner know how immediately how many matches the tourney will require?

It has to do with the tourney itself. There are many kinds of tournaments: you can have a “Round Robin”, for example, where every entrant is guaranteed to play every other entrant at least once; or a “Double Elimination”, where each loser is placed in a “Loser’s Bracket”, with the winner of the “Loser’s Bracket” going on to the Championship and therefore every participant being able to lose twice before elimination. This, though, is a single-elimination tournament: Lose once, and you’re done. The bar owner is able to reason, then, as follows:

1. Each match will produce one loser.

2. The tournament, overall, will produce one Champion.

3. A participant can only lose one time.

Therefore:

4. The total number of matches must be equal to the total number of losers that the Tournament produces.

And then it’s simple arithmetic: since only one of the 16,348 participants can be Champion, the tourney will produce 16,347 losers — and thus take 16,347 matches to do it. QED.

So, basically, we learn that in any single-elimination tournament, the total number of games played is equal to (N – 1), where N equals the total number of participants in the tournament. Thus, the NCAA Tourney — being 64 teams — involves 63 total games. The Major League Baseball playoffs are decided by series, not individual games, but it works here too: eight teams enter the playoffs each season, so there are a total of seven playoff series held. And it even works in the NFL’s lopsided system, where four teams in the playoffs don’t even play the first round: twelve teams enter the playoffs, and eleven games later we have a Super Bowl Champion.

Thus ends the mathematical portion of Byzantium’s Shores.

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Jane Galt has an interesting article up about the recording industry and file-sharing. The fact is, the recording industry does have a certain moral position here — protecting their product against copyright infringement, which I as a writer-in-waiting can get behind, to a certain extent. But the industry’s efforts to fight for their cause have been so ham-handed, stupid, and Draconian that it’s hard for anyone to feel sorry for them.

Gee, a partially-moral position undermined by poor tactics, strategic bungling, dishonesty and the unavoidable stench of raving commitment to self-interest….now, that sure sounds familiar….

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You’d think that if anything were to get me excited about the NCAA basketball tournament, living in Syracuse while the Orangemen make a run at the Final Four (a win tomorrow, and they’re in) would be it. And yet, we’re moving next week, so I’m still ho-hum about the whole thing. Oh well.

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Shortly after 9-11-01 happened, Ann Coulter — the Right’s answer to Michael Moore — opined, “We should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them all to Christianity”. Well:

1. Invasion: Check.

2. Kill their leaders: In progress.

3. Convert them heathens: Waiting in the wings.

I seem to recall a Chinese curse or something that said, “May you live in interesting times.” I’m starting to understand just why that is considered a curse.

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Time for some random links and such…

:: Check out the mouse-navigation here. (Unless you’re afraid of mice.)

:: Heh. (By the way, Home is a great album.)

:: Sheila Viehl has a nifty post up about how to handle backstory in fiction.

:: All right, shouldn’t this be a sign of some kind of Apocalypse?

:: And finally, I just have to love the veiled threats we’re apparently making against Canada. Because, you know, restricted trade with Canada is just the thing for the ever-suffering economy of border cities like, oh, Buffalo.

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The official site of Kelly Sedinger: Reader, writer, photographer, and dreamer

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