The Buffalo Bills just lost their home opener to the New York Jets, 28-20. They looked great out of the gate, with JP Losman being really on-target with the ball and with Willis McGahee running well, but three turnovers by Losman, some bad defensive tackling (especially in the second half), and more bad offensive line play in key situations allowed the Jets to win. So let’s can the playoff talk, OK, Buffalo? The key term this year is still “growing pains”.

The Bills looked talented to me today, but not seasoned. JP Losman’s two fumbles resulted from his failing to react to pressure. (His interception was a deep pass on which his arm was hit as he released, so I’m cutting him a little slack there.) Still, Losman showed to me a lot of heart in the way he kept battling until the very end — he scored a rushing touchdown himself with little more than a minute left, and then tried to do a tying drive after the Bills recovered an onside kick, but he couldn’t pull it out.

Since a lot of people were mentally pencilling the Bills in for a playoff spot after they beat Miami last week, I fully expect them to go off the deep end the other way this week and bitch up a storm about Losman. And yes, he made mistakes that were probably the biggest reason the Bills lost today. But he did a lot of good stuff in this game, stuff I’ve been waiting to see him do, and the fact still remains that good teams find a way to overcome mistakes like the ones he made today.

The defense didn’t record a single turnover. Nate Clements, the overrated cornerback who dubbed himself “playmaker” two years ago, once again didn’t figure in a single play until he got called on a tripping penalty that helped a Jets scoring drive. The defensive line failed to generate any consistent pressure on Chad Pennington. The tackling was often poor.

And the offensive line? Well, Losman’s protection was better than usual, and Willis McGahee had a good day running the ball. But on a crucial goal-line situation in the fourth quarter, the line couldn’t command the line of scrimmage enough to get the ball through to the end zone.

So today, the Bills showed a lot of talent and a bit of heart at the end. But when the real chances were before them to either respond to a big play with one of their own or to get back in the game, they failed.

Like I said, I’m down on Losman’s results today, but I’m not getting down on him as a player. He’s still young, and even in spite of the bad mistakes he made today, he did a lot of good things that I’ve been looking for (big passing plays, mostly). He showed a ton of ability today; now we need to start seeing some growth.

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My love of spiced rum (“spum”, naturally, given that “spam” is “spiced ham”) is well-documented, but I’ve just discovered vanilla rum (“vrum”, obviously!), which makes an ordinary 6-oz glass of root beer taste like a root beer float with some kick. Vrum! Yum!

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I alluded yesterday to a certain genre of book I’ve been reading lately, wherein people write memoirs of their lives after they make fairly drastic changes, like moving to an entirely new locale and taking up a new lifestyle. Here are some brief notes on two such books, plus a third that partly fits that description.

First I read Piano Girl: Lessons in Life, Music, and the Perfect Blue Hawaiian. This book reads as something of a companion piece to the movie Mr. Holland’s Opus, in which a guy who wanted to be a serious composer ends up taking a job as a music teacher, just for a little while, to pay the bills until he can make money composing — and next thing he knows, he’s been teaching his entire life and found a life of meaning in it. The author of Piano Girl, Robin Meloy Goldsby (official site), tells how she fell in love with the piano, learned to play it well, looked to become a classical musician for a time — but instead made a career out of playing the piano in cocktail lounges all over the country, and later, the world.

Goldsby’s book is basically a collection of short vignettes relating tales from her life as a cocktail lounge pianist, and she tells these stories mostly with a lot of charm and wit. She is openly aware that her work does not require tremendous musical skill, but she also reveals that being a fine lounge musician requires entirely different sets of skills — voluminous knowledge of the songs, social skills for dealing with patrons and management, and so on. I’d always figured that places like the Hyatt in Manhattan just hired any old out-of-work pianist to play in their bars; I had no idea that such musicians are also represented by agents in a highly competitive environment. Not a profound book, but an entertaining look into a musical world we usually don’t much consider.

Then there was Almost French: Love and a New Life in Paris, by Sarah Turnbull. Turnbull was a journalist from Sydney, Australia who was traveling in Europe when, while in Bucharest, she met an intriguing Frenchman named Frederic. First she agrees to spend a week with him in Paris, and then she ends up moving in with him and, eventually, marrying him.

Almost French focuses less on Turnbull’s relationship with Frederic than on her relationship with Paris and with France itself, although there is a great deal of relationship stuff here. France is well known for being less than cordial to foreigners, and Turnbull’s experience is no different. Much of the book details missteps Turnbull takes in her attempts to break the ice with various French acquaintances, and her growing realization that she can live to ripe old age in Paris and she will still always be a foreigner.

If you don’t like France, nothing in this book will change your mind. (Anyone tells me what kind of pants I should wear just because it’s not nice for the bakery guy, my response is, “F*** the bakery guy”.) I certainly have less interest in visiting Paris after reading Almost French; Turnbull makes it seem like a society where one is supposed to simultaneously rigidly conform to social norms and still not care one whit what other people think of you. It’s a strange thing. But I did like this book.

And just this morning I finished a wonderful book, Little Chapel on the River: A Pub, a Town, and the Search for What Matters Most, written by Gwendolyn Bounds (official site). Bounds is a writer for the Wall Street Journal who lived in an apartment building in lower Manhattan when 9-11-01 happened. With her apartment rendered unlivable after the attacks, Bounds and her room-mate end up moving to a little town called Garrison, fifty miles up the Hudson River from NYC, where Bounds becomes part of the daily life in a bar and convenience store called Guinan’s.

Little Chapel on the River poses an interesting contrast with Almost French. Where Sarah Turnbull can never become a part of Parisian culture, Wendy Bounds becomes part of Garrison’s culture very easily, and her gift for making that little bar come alive shines on every page. Seriously, folks, this book is as good an evocation of a setting as any I’ve ever read. We’re talking Lord of the Rings quality here: in the same way that I come from Tolkien feeling like I’ve physically been in Middle Earth, I come away from Bounds’s book feeling like I’ve been in Garrison, and that I’ve met the denizens of Guinan’s bar: Fitz the ex-Marine, Jane the hard-luck woman who helps out, Walter the next-door neighbor who constantly toes the fine line between “frugal” and “skinflint”, and above it all, Jim Guinan the aging bar-owner and his adult children with whom he doesn’t always get along so well.

This book is funny, bittersweet, and encouraging; it is one of the best books I’ve read in a long time.

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NBC, you suck. Not only have you done something stupid, but in doing so, you’ve put me on the same side of an argument as Brent Bozell, a guy whom I find precisely as unpalatable as I do Ann Coulter. Thanks a lot.

Basically, NBC has decided to put VeggieTales on its Saturday morning lineup, but has required that the show’s overt Christian content be removed before each episode airs. Now, it’s true that the show can be appreciated on plenty of levels besides the Christian one — unlike Bozell, I think VT is successful not because it’s Christian but because it’s good — but it’s still a show that’s mainly centered on a certain set of premises, and NBC has basically cut most of that loose. Ugh.

And to think that just twenty years ago NBC was the network of Little House on the Prairie. Boy, we’ve come a long way. I don’t think that we need more Christianity on network TV, or less Christianity on network TV. I’d just like to have more quality stuff on TV, and less attention paid to who’s going to be offended by what.

I learned this via Shamus, whose take on this I pretty much completely agree with. Phil Vischer, the creator of VeggieTales, has his own blog, and looking it over, he seems perfectly happy to have his creation neutered just so it reaches a bigger audience (“Kids are going to be meeting Bob and Larry on network TV! Yay!”). This seems kind of sad, but it’s worth remembering that as wonderful a creation as VT is, Vischer himself has a history of apparent cluelessness. Just read his version of how Big Idea Productions ran into trouble, and you’ll see a frightening blend of naivete combined with a lack of business sense. Go here and read the series of posts entitled “What happened to Big Idea?”

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Lynn evidently got a search-engine hit regarding Patrick Stewart’s suggestion of a favorite tea for Captain Picard on Star Trek: The Next Generation, which was rejected in favor of Earl Grey, which is now known in Trekker circles as Picard’s curt instruction to the replicator: “Tea: Earl Grey, hot.” According to this 1998 interview with Stewart, this is true:

In Star Trek you drink a lot of Earl Grey. Do you see that as a man’s tea?

When it first came up that Captain Picard was going to drink a lot of tea I suggested lapsang souchong, but the producers thought that nobody would know what it was. I must urge people not to send me any more Earl Grey. I’ve got so much of it now I could open a tea shop.

So there we have it: Stewart did indeed suggest lapsang souchong tea. (I’ve never tried that tea, myself.) Of course, that was a pretty dumb thing for producers to do; I’m sure audiences would have figured it out. But what always baffled me about Captain Picard was that he was a Frenchman, and yet, all of his passions are for British stuff! What was that about? He was always reading Shakespeare whilst sipping Earl Grey. Shouldn’t he have been reading Proust over glasses of red wine?

There’s other good stuff in that interview, by the way. For instance:

Have you ever had a comb-over?

Oh God, I did that for a while and it was horrible.

What’s your least favourite synonym for ‘bald’?

When I accepted the job on Star Trek in 1987 my daughter, who was then 15, used the expression “To baldly go where no man has gone before”. I thought that was tremendously funny. I actually find the whole subject of my head really boring. I’ve also got a big nose, but people don’t ask me about that because it would be rude. Somehow it’s always open season with baldness.

I’ve always thought that Stewart was blessed with the perfect noggin for baldness, but that’s just me.

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I’ve just realized that I never posted anything about the Buffalo Bills’ defeat of the Miami Dolphins last Sunday (final score 16-6).

That game, coupled with the Bills’ surprisingly tough play in a loss at New England on opening day, seems to have fueled a lot of optimism over the Bills in these parts, with some people on the radio talk shows saying things like, “Hey, if the defense keeps playing like this, and the offense keeps playing OK without making any huge bonehead mistakes, and if the division is really as bad as it looks, and if the Bills sacrifice a live chicken to Jo’Bu every full moon, maybe they can make the playoffs this year!”

Well, not so fast. They got a surprising road win, which is huge — it’s also JP Losman’s first road win, which is nice to see, even if he did throw for only 83 yards on a handful of pass attempts. Hey, whatever works. And for the guys at FootballOutsiders.com who are making fun of the Bills for taking the same general approach to offense that last year’s Chicago Bears took, I’d only point out that based on last year, I didn’t read a single good thing about Rex Grossman heading into this year — and that guy, with some experience and some winning under his belt went out last week and threw for over 300 yards and four touchdowns. So, if Losman follows the same path, you know, I’m fine with it.

Of course, the Bills won’t follow the Chicago blueprint to the playoffs, because their defense isn’t nearly as good as the Bears’ was last year. I still think a 6-10 record is realistic for this team. But if eight or nine of those losses look like the loss to the StuPats, and if the wins look like the Miami game, I’ll be pretty optimistic for 2007. Especially if the Bills can finally address the offensive line, once and for all, next offseason. (Yeah, we’re rid of Bennie Anderson and Mike Williams, which are both good developments — but the current line is still only good enough to kind-of hold its own at the line of scrimmage, and from what I’ve seen thus far, Melvin Fowler is just Trey Teague in a different body.)

Like many Bills fans, I did chuckle at the sight of Mike Mularkey in the Dolphins’ coaching booth, staring cluelessly at his clipboard as he tried to send in a play that would work, and I suddenly realized what his problem is: Mularkey focuses on one play at a time, to absolute exclusion of everything else. The guy has no offensive or coaching philosophy whatsoever; he has no general approach to anything. He literally picks one play at a time, completely regardless of situation or what his team’s strengths or weaknesses are. For Mike Mularkey, it’s as if every single play in a football game is a discrete unit in itself, and he makes his calls on that basis alone. That’s why he refuses to take advantages of obvious mismatches, such as pounding the ball against a team with an undersized offensive line, and that’s why he abandons the run in situations that scream out for it. The thought never even occurs to the guy to react to what the opposing defense is giving him.

And I think that’s the biggest difference I can see with this year’s Bills over last year’s, made all the clearer by being able to see Mularkey in action for the other team. This coaching staff has an approach, and they’re sticking with it. Will it work out by producing a playoff-caliber team in either 2007 or 2008? Who knows — but I’m feeling optimistic. For me, the 2006 season is all about how I’m going to feel heading into 2007.

(And I think Takeo Spikes should relax. Yes, he’s on a rebuilding team. But if you have a coaching staff and a front office who are on the same page and who know what they’re doing, which based on early returns may well be the case in Buffalo, rebuilding in today’s NFL only takes a season or two. So bring on the Jets!)

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John and Roger did it, and since they’re always stealing my goofy meme-stuff, I figure I should return the favor. Here’s what I plan to watch on TV this season. (I end up taping a lot of shows for The Wife, who works when they’re on, and then we watch them later whenever an opportunity arises.)

Monday Night:

8:00: Deal or No Deal. The Daughter likes this show; I mainly do computer stuff or read while it’s on. If it’s not on at all, I may watch Antiques Roadshow.

9:00: Nothing. That’s usually bed time, so I’m reading to the Daughter and doing whatever afterwards. I might leave the CBS sitcom lineup on; that Charlie Sheen show is usually good for a laugh or two, but I can take it or leave it. (Isn’t this to be the Heroes timeslot? I may give that a try.)

10:00: CSI: Miami. I was discussing this show at work today, actually — David Caruso’s acting is absolutely absurd, but it’s either absurd in a way that you love it or in a way that you hate it. I, personally, love it — he’s the heir-apparent to the William Shatner school of emotive line delivery, where it’s as if every syllable he utters is part of a soliloquy, no matter whether he’s on screen with anyone else or not. When my interlocutor pointed out that Shatner’s got some respect lately and has long since realized he’s very spoofable, I decided that Caruso is Shatner circa 1982 or so. Caruso is now enjoying his TJ Hooker phase.

Case in point: For reasons too involved to go into in depth, this season’s premiere of CSI: Miami took place in Rio de Janeiro. The opening scene had Caruso’s character, Horatio Caine, striking his uber-dramatic Carusonic pose in front of that giant statue of Jesus that overlooks Rio from a mountaintop. Was there evidence of some sort up there? Was that statue’s base a crime scene? Nope. It had no relevance at all to the story. Someone with the show simply decided that they couldn’t film in Rio without having Caruso act all Carusonic in front of the giant Jesus statue. It was awesome, let me tell you.

(And when Caruso’s not on the screen, there’s a good chance that Emily Procter is. So I still win!)

Tuesday Night:

8:00: House. (Or Nova, if it’s interesting and House isn’t on.) I like House a good deal, although I do think they need to start shaking up the format a bit; the way it is now, you know that the main medical mystery won’t be resolved at all until about 8:50.

9:00 – 11:00: Gee, nothing, really. Tuesday’s a wasteland, although that will change in January when American Idol returns. (Also if Scrubs is still on Tuesdays when it gets back.)

Wednesday Night:

8:00 – 10:00: Again, nothing as of yet, although Jericho sounds interesting, so I may give that a whirl.

10:00: CSI: NY. My least favorite CSI show, really. I tend to read while it’s on. Might give The Nine a try; might not.

Thursday Night:

8:00: My Name is Earl, followed by The Office. I’ll watch these two shows in reruns, even.

9:00: CSI. Still the best of the CSIs, with the best characters and the most dark humor.

10:00: Gray’s Anatomy, which I taped an hour before whilst watching CSI. I’m frankly a bit tired of the whole “Meredith and Dr. McDreamy” subplot, but I still like this show. ER died for good in my mind last year, although it limped along for The Wife. But then she finally lost patience too when they did yet another “Send some character to Africa” story that was just like all the other “Send some character to Africa” stories, and then the worst cliffhanger episode on a network drama since Dynasty‘s “Moldavian Wedding Massacre”. And since I recently saw that the show’s idea-dry producers are bringing Sally Field back yet again, we’re both done. I doubt we’ll even watch the season opener to see if Nurse Sam and her brat kid finally die horribly. In its heyday, one of the best shows on TV ever. Now, a total embarrassment.

Friday Night:

8:00 – 11:00: Nothing at all. If The Wife is off, this will be catch-up-on-stuff-on-tape night; otherwise, it’ll be movie night. (Although I may give this Men in Trees show a try, if it sticks around at all.)

Saturday Night:

8:00 – 11:00: Again, nothing at all. I don’t much care about college football. This will be another movie night or taped-shows night, unless something else that I like ends up in a Saturday time slot. But even then I might not care enough to follow a show to Saturday night, which can even become a “no TV of any kind” night on occasion in our home. Seriously: at 6:00 pm, NPR here has Thistle and Shamrock on until 8:00, when Marian McPartland’s wonderful Piano Jazz takes over. But starting at 10:00, I can indulge a wonderful two hours of comedy: our local FOX affiliate has back-to-back Simpsons eps then, followed by the local PBS station at 11:00, with Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

Sunday Night:

1:00 pm: The Buffalo Bills, or playoff football after the regular season ends.
7:00 pm: America’s Funniest Home Videos. Yeah, yeah. Another show the Daughter gets to pick.
8:00 pm: Whatever’s on until The Amazing Race starts around 8:30. Best reality show of them all; I’m kicking myself for missing the first seven or so seasons.
10:00: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, courtesy of the good folks of Toronto. Will the show have legs? Who knows?

So that’s it. I have to admit that more and more I’m thinking, “Screw the original telecasts of shows — I’ll watch them on DVD when they come out.” I like immersing myself in a show’s world for multiple episodes at a time; especially with shows that have ongoing arcs or storylines.

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I was just weeding out some old e-mails, and I re-discovered that Will Duquette sent me this a couple of weeks back:

Har har! I suppose I could be trendy, but in the words of Aaron Sorkin, I don’t have that kind of time!

I’ve never seen Cow and Boy before, and will have to check it out. (Being honest, though, I must note that “Cow and Boy” sounds like a title Gary Larsen might have thought up before settling on The Far Side!)

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