Sunday Burst of Weirdness

Hoo-boy….

:: How to draw Dick Cheney.

First Step: Draw Dick Cheney. Yah, I know that’s a bit of a leap, I remember my old “how to draw superheroes” books where the first step would be a box, and the second step would be Captain America.

Of course, my visual arts mojo is such that drawing the box would trip me up.

:: Move over Pauline Kael! An AICN persona reviews the new movie 300:

I can’t spoil the plot because THANK GOD THERE ISN’T ONE. Just ass kicking that kicks ass that, while said ass is getting kicked, is kicking yet more ass that’s hitting someone’s balls with a hammer made of ice but the ice is frozen whiskey.

Ummm…OK then.

:: A dead whale carcass washes up on a beach in South Africa; South African police tow the carcass out to the waters off a place called Seal Island. I don’t know anything about Seal Island, but I can only assume that it’s called Seal Island by virtue of being home to lots of seals. And we all know what beasties love to munch on seals, right? Yup, sharks. Lots of sharks. Lots of Great White sharks. Who now have a nice big rotting whale carcass to nibble at. And by “nibble”, I mean, “take big honking bites out of”.

Here’s the nearly seven-minute video of the feeding frenzy. It’s pretty grisly stuff, as you might surmise, so keep that in mind, all ye queasy creatures out there. But it’s worth watching in that “Mutual of Omaha Wild Kingdom” way that always fascinated when the lion ran down the wounded gazelle…and that’s all before the guy in scuba gear goes into the water to get a better look.

And what do you suppose happens when a bunch of boy sharks and girl sharks get together and fill their bellies? Well, their thoughts may well turn to thoughts of, well, doin’ the underwater grind. A scientist hypothesizes that dead whale carcasses may well be essential to the continuation of the Great White species, by providing the opportunity for full-stomached shark orgies.

This is officially the greatest thing ever posted to YouTube, and quite possibly the entire Interweb. Icky dead things being fed upon by ravenous sharks, followed by scuba diving bravado, followed by the making of little sharks? I honestly can’t think of a way for this to get any better, unless it would be for one of the scientists to get up the next morning, when the carcass has been reduced to just chunks of internal organs held together mostly by gristle, and climb onto the carcass in an attempt to get even closer footage of sharks feeding….

Seriously, greatest thing on teh Internets EVER.

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