Sunday Stealing (Thursday Edition)

I’m looking for something to post, so here’s a quiz from Sunday Stealing.

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

I can’t imagine The Wife “betraying” me in any way more serious than, oh, eating the last piece of leftover pizza for lunch when I’d been looking forward to having it for dinner. My reaction to this would be to pout a bit.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

For George Lucas to come to me with his story notes for Star Wars Episodes VII, VIII and IX and tell me, “I’d like you to write the scripts.”

3. What is the one thing most hated by you?

Broccoli. Foul, vile weed!

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

After setting aside enough to take care of my family for the rest of our natural lifetimes, I’d give big chunks of cash to various institutions in the Buffalo Niagara region. Or something like that.

5. Could you fall in love with your best friend?

I did that already. Married her, too! Yay, me! (This is getting sappy. I’m already regretting this quiz.)

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

Loving someone. Being loved is pretty cool, too.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?

Twenty minutes. Then I’m out of here!

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

Use my political or financial power to coerce his superiors to send him off to someplace dark and distant, at which time I would take her to my bed. Or something like that. (If I had no political or financial power with which to coerce his removal from the scene, I suppose I could kill the unlucky SOB. Or, more likely, just glower at him every time I see him, the stupid jerk with his receding hairline and complete lack of a chin….)

9. If you’d like to act (movies, stage) with someone, who would it be?

I’d like to be that guy in the tavern who says portentous things and is called “Old-timer”. If I have an onscreen death, I’d like it to be bloody and in slow-motion.

10. What do you expect of your loved one?

Put up with my annoying tendencies, cook me dinner regularly (but not always — I like to cook too), watch at least some of the things I like a lot with me, either wear overalls with me or just accept that I wear them, go with me to bookstores and let me go with her to craft stores, give me the occasional pie in the face. You know, the usual stuff.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?

I’d probably use a mirror. [rimshot]

12. What’s your fear?

Learning that I am related by blood to Tom Brady.

13. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor?

This question sucks.

14. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

On a work day: Glare at the alarm clock and say “shit”. On a weekend: Look around, go back to sleep.

15. Do you ever hold back in a relationship?

Nope. I’m a “full speed ahead” kind of guy.

16. If you fell in love with two people simultaneously, how would you pick?

I would require each to engage in a series of challenges to prove who loves me the most. The challenges would be increasingly absurd and odd and, eventually, demented and life-threatening.

17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?

Sure. (Except for December 2, 1998, when The Wife ate for her lunch the piece of pizza I’d been saving for dinner. I will be avenged! Avenged, I say!)

18. What are your three most important expectations in love?

Understanding, laughter, food. Not necessarily in that order.

(Some of these answers may not have been serious answers…but the quiz was pretty gonzo, so I feel no guilt about this.)

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