Ayup:
Evidence has been found that William Tell and family were avid bowlers. However, all the league records were destroyed in a fire and we’ll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
Bad Joke Friday
Bad Joke Friday
GOOD Joke Friday!
A friend posted this on Facebook, and in honor of St. Patrick’s Day, here it is!
—
It was raining hard and a big puddle had formed in front of an Irish pub.
An old man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water. A curious gentleman asked what he was doing.
‘Fishing,’ replied the old man.
‘Poor old fool’ thought the gentleman, so he invited the old man to have a drink in the pub.
Feeling he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked, ‘And how many have you caught?’
‘You’re the eighth.’
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Bad Joke Friday
Eep! I almost forgot about this! Take it away, Mr. Astrophysicist Man:
Geologists are important for our understanding of rocks on Earth and on other planets. So never take them for granite.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) March 10, 2017
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Bad Joke Friday
Bad Joke Friday
I admit, this isn’t funny. At all. I’m only using it because the parenthetical note is funnier than the joke, and because this is a vintage bad joke that was apparently printed in 1921.
(via)
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Bad Joke Friday
Stolen from Tumblr:
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.”
The guy says OK, and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they’re all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and says, “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?”
The guy replies, “I did … today I’m taking them to the beach!”
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Bad Joke Friday
Long joke today!
This is a story that takes place in a world very much like our own, with one key difference.
There is a lever that, when flipped, will end the world.
No fanfare. No build-up. No warning.
Just, no more world.
The lever is located just off the side of the road in a perfectly ordinary small town in the middle of Ohio. No guards, no gate, nothing standing between it and the rest of the world.
But everyone knows that if that lever ever gets flipped, the world will end.
Needless to say, no one flips the lever.
This is also the story about a very naughty lizard named Nate.
Nate likes to cause trouble. He’s also curious. Very curious.
And he wonders, if he flips the lever, will the world really end?
Now, instead of simply wondering about it, he decides to fulfill his scientific (annoying) curiosity.
Nate decides he’s going to find out for sure.
So, Nate, who currently resides in Indiana, decides to walk to Ohio, find the lever, flip it, and see if the world really ends.
The journey is a long one. It’s the middle of winter, on top of the distance, and Nate endures harsh conditions. He makes his way through the wind and ice and snow, he survives thirty days and thirty nights in the freezing conditions. He meets many people and animals.
Unfortunately, he doesn’t learn that the real lever is the friends he’s made along the way, and continues on his quest.
Finally, after over a month of travelling, Nate sees it.
All that stands between him and the lever is a simple dirt road.
Nate begins to cross the road.
This is also the story of a man named Dave.
Dave is currently driving home after a long, hard day at work. Dave is unhappy at his job. He wants to quit and go back to graduate school, but his girlfriend Jennifer is pregnant. He knows he has a responsibility to his unborn child, so he stays at his mindless, soulless accounting job so he can provide for them.
Dave is finding a rare moment of joy in a song that just came on the radio, singing along, when he realizes that he’s about to run over a small lizard that’s crossing the road.
The only way to avoid running over the lizard is to swerve off the road. Dave considers doing this, until he sees the lever that, if flipped, will end the world.
Although Dave is a kind man, a non-violent man, as well as a noted reptile-lover, he runs over the lizard, squashing Nate flat like a pancake, and continues the drive home without another thought.
Nate is dead.
The moral of the story?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Better Nate than lever.
(stolen from Tumblr)