Tag: Teevee

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Teevee Notes

So, how’s the new season of teevee shaping up?

:: New show I like: Hawaii Five-0. I’ve said this before, but I do like the chemistry amongst the leads and the cantankerous relationship between Garrett and Danno. I just wish the show’s production design wasn’t exactly like CSI:Miami. Of course, Grace Park goes a long way.

:: I kind of liked the pilot episode of Outlaw, the new Jimmy Smits show, but I didn’t like it enough to not forget about the show for two weeks afterwards. I’m a big fan of Jimmy Smits (The Wife is an even bigger fan of his!), but my favorite show of his was Cane, the soap opera he starred in a few years back in which he was the head of a family whose fortune is made in making rum in Florida. Unfortunately, that show didn’t last long.

:: Shows I like that I haven’t started watching yet this year: Grey’s Anatomy (wow — it’s been a fave of mine ever since Season One), 30Rock, and House.

:: Shows I’m not liking as much as I used to: The Office, CSI:Miami. Both have, in their own way, become just too farcical to take even remotely seriously.

:: Reality: The new season of Hell’s Kitchen is just OK. Maybe it’s too soon after the most recent season, or maybe this go-round’s competitors are lacking, but the show seems to be amping up the lunacy and taking the focus off the cooking as much as possible. This disappoints me. I know that the show’s main selling point is watching Gordon Ramsay blow a gasket every week, but it gets a bit old.

I’ve noticed, by the way, that Ramsay’s favorite adjective is “amazing”. As in, “Today you will cooking with the most amazing fresh salmon!” “You’re to prepare a dish using the most amazing Kobe beef!” “My wife and I just had the most amazing….”

Survivor‘s Wednesday timeslot blows. Haven’t seen it yet this year, except for the first one.

The Amazing Race is off to a good start. The Race looks pretty demanding this year. Typically they’d spend several episodes in Europe before moving on to another continent, but this time, they were in England for one episode, and then BAM! They’re off to Ghana. Wow!

The Apprentice is also in bad-timeslot hell for me. Oh well.

:: I still like The Mentalist, but I wish more and more that Patrick Jane would be wrong once in a while, and that they’d either ramp up the “Red John” storyline to a conclusion soon or just forget the whole thing. Endlessly dragging on the tale of the “superkiller who continues to elude the hero” gets old after not as long a while as many teevee writers seem to think. (Witness the wonderful NBC show from the 90s, Profiler, which dragged its own “superkiller after the heroine” mytharc thing for so long that by the time it was resolved, it had pretty much lost all of its steam.)

:: I need to watch at least one episode of CSI:NY, just because I want to see Sela Ward again.

:; The prospect of a new Wonder Woman teevee series would make me happy, if it wasn’t being developed by David E. Kelley, whose work I have always hated. Ugh. To know that there’s a Joss Whedon script out there for a Wonder Woman movie that will never be produced is bad enough, but David E. Kelley? That would be like announcing the filming of a new Star Wars trilogy, to be written and directed by Michael Bay.

:: I’d like to see the new J.J. Abrams spy show on NBC, but I don’t think I’m gonna get time for it.

That’s about all for right now in Teevee Land!

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Post hoc, ergo….

This morning, the TODAY Show (don’t ask me why it was on, I loathe the morning shows) did a story about a chef in a New York City area restaurant who killed himself by jumping from the George Washington Bridge. It turns out that three years ago, this fellow came in for some pretty harsh criticism via Gordon Ramsay on the Kitchen Nightmares show. So of course, TODAY‘s segment focused almost entirely on the Ramsay angle, highlighting the fact that a contestant on Hell’s Kitchen also killed herself after her appearance on that show. (Here’s a CBS story with details.)

Now, the TODAY segment didn’t come right out and imply that Ramsay’s harsh criticism was a factor in the suicides, but it didn’t really highlight any other thoughts about what might have driven these two people (of hundreds that Ramsay has interacted with on his shows) to suicide. So, did Ramsay’s tough words and rants play a role? I’m inclined to doubt it. Take it from someone who knows: the restaurant industry is not exactly a biz where you’ll find lots of well-adjusted folks working in low-stress environments.

Come to that, I wonder what the suicide rate is for restaurant workers, anyway. We only heard about these two by virtue of their connection with one of the most famous of all celebrity chefs, after all.

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The Behaviors of Mr. Costanza

I’ve been a fan of Seinfeld for years – even the much-lamented ninth and final season. I didn’t even hate the series finale, even though it wasn’t nearly as funny as it should have been; I thought it was a nifty idea to wrap up the series, even if the execution wasn’t what we might have hoped. I’m not sure I can name my favorite character, but there’s a good chance that it would be George.

Why George? Well, everyone’s there for a different version of insanity. From Elaine, we get female insanity; from Kramer, we get pure insanity that’s not really grounded in any form of reality. From Jerry we get pure narcissism, and from George, there’s the insanity that comes from being an eternal loser. I just tend to find the bizarre things that befall George, and the even more bizarre ways he responds to them, to be the heart of the show’s humor. George is a guy who always mistakes opportunity for a chance to remain inert, and vice versa; so consistent is George in his instincts always being wrong that one of the show’s better episodes actually had George consciously choosing to do the exact opposite of what his immediate instincts called him to do, with George tasting actual success as a result.

Throughout the show’s run, George Costanza engaged in one bizarre act after another, suggesting an interesting exercise of the “What would you do?” variety. Let’s examine some of these!

Scheme to see a woman naked after she saw me naked, and laughed.

No, I would not do this. It just can’t work out the way you want.

Failing to see said woman naked, trick her into eating something that’s against her religion.

Geez, no!

Eat something that was sitting on a piece of paper on the top of the pile of items in a garbage can.

Heavens, no. I’ve had many a moment of “Wow, why would someone throw that out? It’s perfectly good!” But once it makes physical contact with something else in a garbage can, that’s it. It’s garbage.

After my parents are mis-informed of my “death”, allow them to keep thinking I’m dead for a little while because “they need the break”.

Well, my parents aren’t lunatics, so clearly, no.

Try to sneak a loaf of marble rye into my future in-laws’ home after my parents took the original marble rye home with them.

You know, I always felt bad for George in this spot. He’s trying to cover the fact that his own parents are lunatics. If I had George’s parents, I just might try something odd like this.

Wear sweat-pants in public.

Maybe it sounds odd coming from an unrepentant overalls-lover like myself, but the only time I ever wear sweat-pants in public is if I’m out for a walk or something like that in cold weather, or if I have to go out fairly late to pick something up from a store – like maybe if The Wife gets home from work and she’s sick and we’re out of cough medicine, or if I’m cooking dinner and I discover that I’m missing a key ingredient. But really, in cases like those, I’m just as likely to throw on the overalls as sweat pants. In college, sweat pants were a big part of my wardrobe, but not so much these days. I think I only own two or three pairs, each of which is more than ten years old.

Push women and children and elderly ladies with walkers out of the way in my haste to get to the door when I smell smoke and think there’s a fire.

Gosh, I hope I’m a better person than this!

Scheme to get caught cheating on my current girlfriend, who refuses to break up with me.

This was one of my favorite George storylines. I wouldn’t do this, but this was really funny.

Concoct an elaborate scheme to preserve my high score on a coin-op videogame that has stood for over ten years

Obviously not…but I keep meaning to ask my electricians at work if it would be possible to do what George wants!

(See, he and Jerry visit their old high school pizza place, where George discovers that the old Frogger machine in still there, sporting his fifteen-year-old high score. He decides he wants to buy the machine and take it home to preserve the score for all time, but Jerry points out that as soon as he unplugs the machine, his score will disappear. So George contracts some electricians to move the game without losing power. His scheme fails, obviously, because it’s George, but I’ve always wondered if this could be done!)

Try to arrange my life so my significant other never interacts with my close friends.

Another classic episode that highlights the futility of George’s existence. Would anybody other than George Costanza ever even try this?

Hire a carpenter to modify my desk at work so I can sleep underneath it.

What a great idea! What a great, lazy idea! I love this idea! And with my growing carpentry skills, I might be able to do this myself!

Fake a disability to get a job.

Never. Even though it backfires on George.

Try to manipulate my co-workers into giving me the nickname “T-Bone”.

This was funny just because it was so gonzo on George’s part. It would never occur to me to try this.

Eat a candy bar with a knife and fork.

Hmmmm…why not?

Take erotic photos of myself as a way of hitting on the girl at the photo developing place

I loved Jerry’s response to this one: “Yeah, this plan can’t miss.” You could feel the disaster unfolding. (Of course, this one is completely out of date now, in the age of digital photography.)

Keep so much stuff in my wallet that I literally sit at an angle when it’s in my back pocket

No! I can’t stand an overly thick wallet. I cull it every so often.

Hide a suit in a men’s store so it will still be there the next day when a sale starts

I honestly think this was a pretty savvy move on George’s part!

Choose the cheapest possible wedding invitations.

Well, The Wife didn’t drop dead from licking them, so I guess I did OK on this!

Wear a toupee.

This is unlikely to come up in my life.

Get caught by my mother with a copy of Glamour magazine.

Erm…no. That’s all I have to say about that.

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Hey! DW!

Right now I’m kind of angry with my local PBS station. Why? Well, every fall, they shuffle their lineup of kids’ programming around. It’s almost always the same shows, but they just shift them into new timeslots so nothing’s ever in the same place. The Daughter likes to have the teevee going while she eats breakfast and for a little while when she gets home. When the shows on are shows we like (Fetch with Ruff Ruffman, Between the Lions), that’s great. When we end up with a bunch of crappy shows, it’s a whole lot of ugh.

(Shows we don’t like? Look, I will forever be a fan of HA Rey’s books, but the Curious George teevee show is horrifically bad. And there’s just something awfully nauseating about Clifford. Sorry, but I see that big red dog and I wonder why the town isn’t always pissed at him when he leaves his Ford Taurus-sized droppings. And of course, of all kids’ shows, the one that lends itself most to MST3K-style commentary is Caillou.)

Our favorite kids’ show, though, is really no contest. It’s Arthur.

From Byzantium's Shores: chronicling the misadventures of an overalls-clad hippie

Arthur is the story of Arthur Read, his family, and his friends in Elwood City. Arthur and friends are all anthropomorphized animals: Arthur and family are aardvarks, friend Buster Baxter is a rabbit, and so on. It’s hard to describe what’s so good about the show, but in general, it has a great sense of humor, with a lot of jokes slipped in that only parents will get; it doesn’t rely on sickening sweetness to make its moral lessons; it depicts a very well-realized town with a lot of interesting and quirky supporting characters.

Actually, I just now figured it out: Arthur is like a more wholesome, less subversive version of The Simpsons.

I just learned that Nail Gaiman will be making a guest appearance on Arthur, which led me to this article on Arthur as a “geeklet icon”:

1. Let’s start with more of those guest voices: Arthur’s had a bunch of these, and one of the things I think makes them awesome is that more often than not, the visitors are playing themselves, which can introduce parents and kids alike to new faces and ideas. Architect Frank Gehry’s been on the show, as has kinetic sculpture artist Arthur Ganson, and Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek. (Renamed “Alex Lebek” in the Arthur episode, for some reason.)

2. The value of reading is a huge underlying message: Arthur and his friends go to the library a lot. They did an entire musical episode which included a song and dance the benefits of a library card and another using The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde to illustrate the addictive power of books. Oh, and Arthur’s last name is, in fact, Read.

My favorite Arthur episode, “The Ballad of Buster Baxter”, depicted Buster Baxter’s return to Elwood City after a year away, and his attempts to reintegrate himself into life there and the awkwardness thereof. This is the kind of story that’s easy to relate to, and the episode is pretty insightful about the fears involved: the kids wonder if Baxter has changed from being the kid they knew, while Baxter wonders how he can convince them he’s the same old kid while wondering how much they have changed. But even so, the best thing about the episode is the form: it’s told in a series of vignettes, connected together by the singing of a guitar-toting balladeer moose, voiced by Art Garfunkel. (Sample lyric, after the kids have decided that Buster probably likes all kinds of strange foods now, such as escargot: “Life can be tough as nails, when your friends think you’re a guy…who likes to eat snails!”) At episode’s end, as the balladeer is summing things up, Buster turns to Arthur and asks, “What’s with the singing moose?”

Yeah. Arthur rules. So WNED has it on at 1:00 in the afternoon now. Bite me, WNED!

(image via)

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The door that opens is the winner!

A couple of thoughts on the finale of Hell’s Kitchen (highlight to read):

:: Jay got a bit too cocky. He ran a good dinner service, but listening to his constant trash-talking just got annoying.

:: I also got tired of hearing him drool over Holli. That’s what blogs are for. (Did he really think he was going to get a shot with her?)

:: Holli’s kitchen brigade for the final service was awful. Or maybe it just seemed that way due to editing. But the show really made it look as though Jay’s kitchen was a well-oiled machine while Holli’s was a Model-T that was missing a few parts.

:: I love the way they cut to Benjamin’s pouty face within seconds of Holli being revealed as the winner. That was great.

:: I’ve gotta wonder if part of Holli’s win was Gordon Ramsay looking at Holli’s son and thinking, “Geez, I can’t make that kid cry.”

:: Jean-Phillippe apparently doesn’t much like getting dowsed with champagne. Which is why that moment was really funny.

:: More next season! Can’t wait!

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A quick thought on “Master Chef”

It’s basically American Idol with food, which is fine, because Hell’s Kitchen is basically The Apprentice with food.

Oh, and another quick thought: I’d like to go on this show, if only because when I got in there to cook, I’d whack that bald bearded dork with a frying pan and then say, “Sorry, fellas, that’s all I got. I just wanted to clock this guy with a pan.”

I loathe people who act as though they’ve just descended from Mt. Olympus.

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Get in there and make the dish!

Notes on Hell’s Kitchen. Spoilers, so highlight to read:

:: Ahhh, the “taste it and make it” challenge.

:: I didn’t think I could loathe Benjamin any more than I already did going into this episode, but damned if he didn’t manage to sink below that bar for the ninth or tenth consecutive week! I cannot stand this guy. Hate him. His constant baby-act “I shoulda won! I’m a better cook and I have passion and that person doesn’t and wah wah waahhhhh!!!” is the most grating thing I’ve seen on a reality teevee program in…I can’t actually remember one.

:: I don’t believe his back injury. I think it’s a tantrum. I also think he senses that he is not going to win Hell’s Kitchen, so he is trying to set it up so that if he gets eliminated, he can point to his back injury. And believe me, I know that cooking in a kitchen is hard work, but there’s no way that what Ben does is physically harder than what I do for a living, and I’ve had to carry around ten-foot ladders and work power tools and hoist heavy items all over the place after I’ve thrown my back out before. You pop a bunch of ibuprofens and get right on working.

Last season’s winner, Dave, worked the entire season after breaking his wrist in the first week or two. Man up, Ben. Lose the way you deserve to.

:: Jay is irritating to me as well. He just is. On the one hand he’s head-over-heels for Holli, but then he cuts her down when he’s talking to Ben. What a putz. He’s a good cook and probably the most deserving chef there right now overall, but I just don’t like him all that much.

:: Oh look, Ben is suddenly OK to work. I’m going with my “passive-aggressive temper tantrum” and “excuse for almost-certain failure” hypotheses.

:: The chefs run the pass tonight. This is always fascinating, especially when he has the sous chefs sabotage them to see if they catch the stunts.

:: Jay did the best up there; Holli recovered quickly from early jitters and only missed one of her quality checks, which came from an erroneous ticket put in by Jean-Philippe. Ben missed two. But Ben is a genius! He’s the only cook who can beat Jay! Asshole. And Autumn? God in Heaven, is she annoying.

:: Ben was sure quick on his feet. As noted above, I’ve hurt my back before, and while you can move around with effort if you’re determined, you are not that quick. I’m still thinking “Liar liar, Ramsay’s gonna set your portrait on fire”.

:: Please…eliminate Ben…eliminate Ben…eliminate Ben….

:: Autumn finally goes. About time. I think she managed to get this far by never being as bad as someone else. (I liked her little dig at Ben: “I never quit.”)

:: Second one…please give Ben the boot. Please oh please oh please.

:: YAY!!! At long, long last! Benjamin’s an arrogant, sexist douche. And I love the look on his face as he hands in his jacket.

:: Go Holli!!!

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Who the heck IS John Dory, anyway?

Spoiler thoughts from Hell’s Kitchen! Mouseover to read.

:: Holli and Jay go together like fig newtons and scrambled eggs. What an awful couple!

:: The “teach a clod to cook” challenge is entertaining. Autumn sucks, though. So does Ben — and Ben’s a culinary instructor! He can’t teach, he can’t lead, and he’s a douche.

:: Riding the Goodyear Blimp — how cool would that be! I’d love to ride a blimp.

:: I got a kick out of Ben and Autumn’s punishment for losing the challenge — they had to do maintenance tasks, like fixing wobbly tables and changing light bulbs and the like. Stuff that I do in my day job. I’d have had Jean-Phillippe’s list done in an hour!

:: Dinner service: Nothing really new. Autumn’s a sneaky clod, who won’t own up when she blunders. Ben stops talking. Jay’s a skilled, but arrogant, goof in blue hair. Holli just keeps on plugging, even through the rough spots. Rooting for Holli, but Jay might be the completest of the packages available for Ramsay to choose from.

:: Jay nominates Ben and Autumn, which sounds right, but also looks fishy because of his relationship with Holli. This is the clear reason why workplace relationships can be disastrous at times! Be careful, people!

:: Nobody goes home…heartwarming reunion with loved ones…gotta be a twist coming soon here….

:: Don’t show me Ben’s kid! I can’t hate him when he’s being all human and stuff!

:: The father of Holli’s kid — she seems to really have a thing for doughy guys, doesn’t she!

:: Two chefs will exit the show next week. Who knows!

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Some Random Observations

Comments on some stuff….

:: I’m still not much of a fan, but over time I’ve developed a small bit of appreciation for The Family Guy. Mainly, I find Stewie (the megalomaniacal English-accented baby) and Brian (the articulate, alcoholic dog) reasonably funny. Everybody else, not as much. But I don’t hate the show as much as I used to.

However, I’m in no danger of becoming a fan of Seth McFarlane’s in general. The Cleveland Show and American Dad are freakishly awful.

:: Last night’s Simpsons episode was a repeat of a Sideshow Bob episode I hadn’t seen before, that borrowed its plot from the movie FACE/OFF. Bob escaped prison by switching faces with a cellmate. A line I liked, from Bob describing his own removal of his own face: “As Krusty’s assistant for many years, I had been hit with so many pies that my face had lost all sensation!” Geez. One wonders what kind of pies Krusty’s using, that they hurt that much.

:: I’m not following America’s Got Talent all that much — turning it on occasionally, mainly — but I do like the “Fighting Gravity” and “AscenDance” acts quite a bit. In fact, both acts are of similar types, so I wouldn’t mind seeing both win and end up doing acts in Vegas together. I’d love to see the show end with some act like this winning, as opposed to yet another singer. Three of four winners have been singers thus far (the second was amazing ventriloquist Terry Fator), and if I wanted to watch a mere singing competition, well…that’s what IDOL is for.

:: The weather this summer has been awful. June was cooler and rainier here than normal, and July has been one nearly unbroken stream of hot-and-humid. I am more than ready for August, which I’ve always found the most pleasant of the summer months. (Well, I guess I have to include September, but emotionally, I consider September to be an autumn month, even if it’s often in the 80s in September round here.) But this month has been too warm for me to enjoy doing much of anything outside at all.

:: I’m starting to feel the pull of the Siren Song of power tools of all kinds. I’m not sure that I have any real use for one those new Dremel Trio tools, but damned if I don’t want one. (No, I’m not going to buy one absent a use for it. I’m not that dumb.)

:: I feel pretty stupid when I have to go into Home Depot to exchange an accessory for a power tool of mine, because I bought the wrong accessory or the wrong size accessory or something similar. I should know what I need, dammit! (Specifically, it was the belts for my belt sander that I bought the other day. I needed 18-inch belts and got 21-inch ones because I wasn’t paying attention.)

:: People in West Seneca, NY are resisting the conversion of some buildings that already exist from a no-longer-being-used satellite college campus into housing for low-income senior citizens, on the usual basis that traffic will go way up (because apparently senior homes have traffic rivaling that of local shopping malls) and because it will “lower property values”. How it will do this, I have no idea. Personally, I wouldn’t mind having a new, built-in community of folks who will spend money in the town, especially since it would mean using pre-existing building stock, but that’s just me. Gotta love those NIMBY’s — they’re not just about preventing the dumping of nuclear waste in their backyards anymore!

:: Is it just me, or have fireworks displays become, well, boring over the years? Unless you’re watching the super-duper displays in New York or Washington or Boston for the 4th of July, or the amazing displays at Disney World, it’s just kinda nice and kinda dull now. “Ooooh, a red one! And now a green one! That one’s purple AND green! And a couple of those loud BOOMy ones just for effect! And now…a red one and a green one at the same time!”

Maybe, though, fireworks displays were always like this, and I only realize it now because these days, if you want, you can see fireworks somewhere on a weekly basis. At least in Buffalo, you can. When I was a kid, fireworks were on July 4, and that’s it. That’s the way it was, and we liked it!

:: People who drive in pristine white Oldsmobiles are extremely annoying. But even worse are people who drive around in Camaros as though they are pristine white Oldsmobiles.

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You get to hang out with Jean-Philippe! Yay!!!

Just a couple of reactions to last night’s Hell’s Kitchen, written as things happened. Spoilers, so highlight to read:

:: Ben is starting to sink a bit. I’m loving it. As Chef Ramsay noted, “At this point in the competition, the weak start to get exposed.” Ben’s faults are coming through, which is a good thing.

:: Jay spent a day with Holli. Therefore, I must kill him. Pistols at dawn, Jay!

:: Autumn is totally irritating.

:: I still hate Ben, I still love Holli, and Jay’s moves on her must result in his being dropped into a very high elevator shaft. With no elevator. Betrayer most foul!!!

:: Let me be clear on this: Holli’s behavior on this episode makes clear that she has no particular revulsion for guys with unusual hair who are also on the larger side. GAHHH!!!

:: Hmmmm…The Wife may read this. I may be spending tonight on the floor. Luckily, The Wife has also shown no particular revulsion for guys with unusual hair who are also on the larger side!

:: Ben tries to execute some kind of maneuver to make himself look good. Sous-chef Scott has none of it. Best moment of the season!

:: Gone tonight: Ed and Jason. Ben dodged a bullet, sadly enough. But Ben probably showed more outright skill than Jason did. I’m confident that Ben will probably be one of the next to go.

Back next week!

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