Lying Locke

The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch was pretty strongly hyped when it came out a few years ago; I remember seeing it mentioned on nearly every SF and Fantasy site I tend to frequent. I made mental notes to read it, and then kept forgetting about it…and forgetting about it…and forgetting about it…until I finally picked up a copy when I remembered it one day whilst standing in Borders. I read it soon after, and it turns out there was a reason for all the hype: it’s a really good book, an adventure story that actually rollicks. I read a lot of adventure tales, and not all of them actually manage to rollick. This one? Yup, it’s set at full rollick.

Locke Lamora is a thief who lives in the city of Camorr, which is most reminiscent of Renaissance Venice, with its canals and its tightly-clustered buildings piled atop muddy islands. There are differences, though: the entire city is dominated by structures made of “Elderglass”, left behind by some non-human race thousands of years before; the skyline is dominated by five towers of Elderglass that rise over six hundred feet above the rest of Camorr. Alchemy is also practiced in Camorr, alchemy to produce light and to hinder one’s enemies and to turn regular animals into docile beasts of burden in a creepy process called “Gentling”. Locke Lamora is apprenticed to a guild of thieves, but that guild eventually kicks him out when he unleashes a scheme that ends up costing a couple of his fellow thieves their lives. He falls in with another group of thieves, though, and after he’s grown up with the rest of these thieves, he and his friends form their own little thieves’ guild, calling themselves “the Gentleman Bastards”. Their goal is to get rich by fleecing those already rich, and as the book opens, Locke Lamora is already laying the groundwork for just such a scheme, pretending to be a dealer in highly valuable brandy from a distant kingdom.

However, dark things are afoot in the arrival in Camorr of a mysterious figure called the Gray King. who has his sights set on taking over rule over the entire city’s criminal underworld from a man named Barsavi. The Gray King’s plans also involve Locke Lamora, for some reason, and Locke ends up in a great deal of trouble before the book is even half done.

It was an interesting choice, using the tropes of high fantasy to tell a caper story like this, and Lynch does it all very well. Sometimes the dialog is a bit hard to accept; I’m sure we’ve all read bad fantasies where the characters all talk as if they’ve just been transported from the pages of Sir Thomas Malory to whatever fantasy they’re in now. The Lies of Locke Lamora isn’t like that. The dialog is earthy, full of expletives, and occasionally – very occasionally – the stuff being said sounds as though it needs to be said with a thick Jersey accent. At times it was a bit jarring, but if you tire of Fat Fantasy novels where everybody talks like Gandalf the White (“Run, Shadowfax, and show us the meaning of haste!”), then you might find pleasure here. The book is a caper story; imagine Ocean’s Eleven or The Thomas Crown Affair set in a fantasy world. There are double crosses, secret identities, plots and plans within plans and plots, and at the center of it all are Locke Lamora and his best friend Jean Tannen, frequently charing into situations with no plan whatsoever.

One of an apparent six planned sequels has already come out: Red Seas Under Red Skies. In this book, Locke and Jean arrive at a different city, a wealthy sea town called Tal Verrar, where the world’s most exclusive gambling house, the Sinspire, resides. Their plan is to break into the Sinspire’s vault and steal its contents. Do they succeed? I’ll never tell – but their plans do go awry when they find themselves embroiled in all manner of other intrigues at the very political heart of Tal Verrar, a frustrating state of affairs for two men who just want to steal lots of money from the rich. The plot of Lies is twisty enough, but Red Seas is, if anything, even twistier: the plot seems to lurch about every ten or twenty pages, so that what starts off as a caper story becomes a political thriller and then, about halfway through, a nautical tale and a pirate story. The plots and double-crosses come fast and furious in Red Seas, right up the very last page, which leaves our heroes in a bit of trouble whose resolution in the third book (still forthcoming) will, I hope, be as fascinating and enjoyable as what has gone before. I can’t wait.

(Red Seas does not necessarily assume that the reader has already read Lies, but it does help. The book’s opening is probably much more effective if one knows something of the history of Locke Lamora and Jean Tannen.)

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Sentential Links #181

Warning: these are all political, except for the last one. I’m in one of those moods.

:: I’m sorry to have to say this, but I really hope the teabag woman who thinks this is a great system, loses her health insurance and has to go get her health care in an animal stall. If she’s lucky enough to even get that. If she believes charity health care in soaking wet tents once a year is a mark of a well functioning market, she is so stupid she deserves it.

I’m not sure anymore if some of these people are even human.

:: When Teabag Joe and Jane show up at a health care town hall, they garner sympathy because they look like a regular frustrated person. Whatever their message is, it gains credibility because they’re not a career politician, they’re wearing shoes that don’t match their pants, and they seem genuinely angry about something. And in a debate about our personal health, that goes a long way. And this makes me wonder – why has nobody in the vaunted Obama operation, nobody holding any of these town halls, tried to contextualize their positions by using actual real people who want or need universal health insurance? Michael Moore found a bunch of people – sympathetic people – and I don’t know if you’ve heard this, but he’s fat. (Remember when Bill Clinton made the GOP look like a bunch of tools at the State of the Union by citing one of his invited guests, a guy who had aided the victims of the Oklahoma City bombing and saved lives on that day, and then after the guy’s unanimous standing ovation, dropped the fact that the guy was now broke because he worked for the government and the GOP had just shut down the Federal government? Yeah, good times. I’ll never forget the look on Trent Lott’s face when he did that. Maybe Obama will figure this out eventually.)

:: There are only two outcomes here. Either we get very good at spotting and stopping these attempts at a brownshirt takeover the minute they crop up; or they’re going to get very good at public intimidation, and keep ratcheting it up further toward outright violence and goon rule. That’s how it’s going to be for the rest of this administration. The sooner we resign ourselves to the zero-sum nature of this fight, the sooner we can get on with getting good at it.

:: There’s a bizarre love triangle among the Republican party, the media, and the lunatic right-wing fringe, and it’s not going to end well for anyone involved. The Republican party is dooming itself to long-term irrelevance by alienating the young and non-white; they may even be setting themselves up for primary challenges from nutjobs. The media is losing what credibility it has by parroting teh crazy. And the lunatic right-wing fringe is headed for an inevitable series of “Sister Souljah” moments when Republicans wise up and realize they have to denounce the teabaggers.

:: Nixon, after becoming Ike’s vice president, said Republicans “found in the files a blueprint for socializing America” in the White House. Civil rights leaders were accused of being a Soviet plot. The Civil Rights Act was believed to be intended to “enslave” whites. A prominent right-wing radio host insisted that JFK was building a political prison in Alaska to detain critics of the administration. When FDR proposed Social Security, the conservatives of the era not only screamed about “socialism,” but told the public Roosevelt would force Americans to wear dog tags.

These were all fringe, radical arguments at the time, and were ignored as insane by responsible journalists. No one in America would turn on the evening news or pick up the morning paper and read about pathetic right-wing conspiracy theories. If Fox News existed at the time, Sean Hannity would be doing special reports on each of these unhinged ideas, and Americans would be told that they were worthy of discussion.

:: “Let me get this straight: they show up at public events, try to derail real discussion of the issues by being loud, belligerent assholes, and get on the news? Unbelievable. They stole my bit.” – Westboro Baptist Church minister and flamboyant gay activist Fred Phelps

“Jesus Christ, Mom. I’m like a year old and have downs syndrome and even I know that’s bullshit.” – Trig Palin

“Iz in ur Oh-Arr, yoothanizin ur gramma.” – Universal Health Kitteh

“They’re actually having a debate about this? What the fuck is wrong with them?“ – Pretty much every non-US citizen in the entire world

:: This was not a museum: it is a haunted house. It is a carnival ride. It shows throughout in the layout — the rubes are supposed to be shuttled through efficiently, get their little thrills, and exit so the next group can make the trip. If they’d had a few million more, I imagine they would have invested in tracks and little cars and turned it into the Creation Ride. The creators of this place wouldn’t recognize a museum if they woke up in the middle of the Smithsonian on a bed of museum maps with a giant sign saying “MUSEUM” in front of their faces and an army of docents shouting directions at them. They seem to have gotten all their information about how a museum works by visiting Disneyland. (There’s probably some kind of correlation between the state of the health care debate and the fact that the Creation “Museum” is doing bang-up business.)

:: Science fiction is eternal; it is the demigod cousin of literature itself, a cat with an infinite amount of extra lives. Long live science fiction. (Huzzah!)

All for this week.

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Sunday Burst of Weirdness

Oddities abound…but I didn’t see many of them, as I spent less time online this past week owing to a minor cold that inconvenienced me a bit. Oh well.

:: But here’s a site that aggregates Star Wars-related photographic oddity. This cracked me up:

As did this:

And how about “Silent Era Star Wars“:

And then there’s this:

ROWR!

:: On a non-Star Wars vein, here’s a ridiculously bad-ass looking hand tool. No, I won’t get one. The price tag is really steep and I’d really not have a use for it, but still — that’s hard core toolage!

More next week.

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Seeking the Middle?

UPDATE: A correction is posted below.

An interesting discussion is going on at Tor.com over an old issue: should one make decisions on novels to read on the basis of the authors’ political views? Specific examples cited over there are Paul di Filippo, who recently edited an anthology book of “Mindblowing Science Fiction” stories whose main qualification for story selection was that the tales be “Mindblowing” — and yet the book included not a single story by a female SF author, and author John C. Wright, whose views on homosexuality are just slightly more tolerant than saying they should be stoned at dawn in the town square.

[Wright has since deleted a LiveJournal post of his that started some kind of free-for-all, but just that one; for a good notion of what kinds of things Wright believes, check out an older post of his in which he offers predictions for the next fifty years. Specifically, prediction #2 is entertaining: “The sexual revolution will be recognized as a complete failure. Monogamy and chastity will return as norms of behavior. Homosexuality will be reclassified as a mental disease.” (Emphasis mine.) And in comments, when someone notes that Wright’s predictions all seem pretty downbeat, he objects that Prediction #2 is a positive one. So he looks forward to the day when gays are once again seen as lunatics.]

The conversation ensuing in comments is interesting to follow. For one thing, it’s pretty civil. This is something I’ve thought a lot about over the years. After all, I love Richard Wagner’s music a great deal, and there’s no getting around the fact that Wagner was a shit. And while it’s tempting to say that the politics and the art don’t have to exist at the same time, many times they do; in Wagner, for instance, one can’t escape the man’s deification of All Things Teutonic. (Now, whether or not his personal antiSemitism is on display in his music has been debated for years, and I’m not equipped to weigh in on one side or the other in that debate.) But there’s something about Wagner that makes it a bit easier to get past all that, and that something is simply that Wagner lived in the 19th century, when views such as his, as odious as we see them now, were much more mainstream. It always seems a bit unwise to hold people of the past to higher moral standards on all issues. No one condemns the Founding Fathers for not realizing, right at the outset in 1787, that slavery should have been ended and blacks made citizens with all the rights and privileges thereof.

But it’s harder with those of our own time, isn’t it? Now, I’ve only tried to read one of John C. Wright’s books, and I bounced off it, five or six years ago. Many times when I bounce off a book I’ll make a note to return to it sometime later. Maybe I do get back to it, maybe I don’t — but in all honesty, my acquaintance with Wright’s views as I’ve seen his LiveJournal here and there over the last couple of years makes it highly unlikely that I’ll ever bother. But it’s simply not the case that Wright’s a conservative and I only read liberal authors; I love the work of Michael Flynn, who is certainly conservative. I felt no problem buying books published by Baen Books despite Jim Baen’s politics. Mark Helprin writes wonderful novels, and he’s a guy with whom I agree on approximately nothing. However, again likewise, I have no problem deciding that I loathe a writer’s views to the point where I simply won’t read them. That’s why I have not read a single word of Orson Scott Card since his How to Write Science Fiction, which I read fifteen years or so ago. I used to own a copy of Ender’s Game that I intended to read sometime, but I started bumping that down the priority list as I heard more and more about his loathing of gays as well. (It’s not all about writers who are homophobic, though. What finally made me put Ender’s Game on eBay without reading it was a global warming denialist screed Card wrote in which he referred to former Vice President Gore as “pond scum”.)

So what’s the difference here? Why will I read Flynn and Helprin but not Wright or Card? For one thing, there are degrees of belief. I doubt Flynn or Helprin are anywhere near as far to the right as Wright or Card are. More than that, there’s the way writers go about things. I once in a while find myself looking at a Card essay online, and I see the rantings of an arrogant prick. Same thing with Wright: his LiveJournal posts fill me with the sense of being in the presence of someone who is so self-impressed as to leave me looking for the nearest available exit. In a lot of ways, it goes to behavior more than the actual views, and this can actually happen on both sides of the specturm. It can, and it does. There is a film music record producer whose CDs I steadfastedly refuse to buy, because even though I agree with him across the board politically, I find his persona as I’ve encountered it online to be insufferably boorish.

Some people will point out that I may be missing out on some great books by so banishing authors from my bookshelves, and they’re right. The thing is, though, that I’m a human being, which means that I am mortal and thus will, by definition, miss out on the vast majority of great books that exist. I see no reason to not apply some standards once in a while as to the great books I intend to allow to pass by. Ditto the afore-mentioned music producer. Sure, his CDs are highly regarded. I’ll survive without them. I’ve more than enough music to keep me occupied. On a similar vein, in that comment thread author Nick Mamatas makes the point that not buying an author’s books on the basis of their views will in no way hurt their royalty statement. Sure, that’s true, but so what? Whether I’m in agreement with them or not, I am under no obligation one way or the other to give them my money. It’s not unlike my general refusal to shop at Wal-Mart. I’ve no illusion whatsoever that Wal-Mart is hurting one bit because I am not contributing to their revenue.

However, sometimes I might find myself feeling a tad hypocritical about these kinds of issues. I find Mel Gibson’s views on just about everything to be nauseating, perhaps even as nauseating as I find John C. Wright’s, but I still watch his movies. (At least, in theory I do. I haven’t seen Apocalypto because it just doesn’t look like something that interests me, but I did watch The Passion of the Christ, with which I was less than impressed.) What’s the difference here? Maybe it’s that movies constitute a smaller investment of time than a book does. And there’s probably also the fact that I was a fan of Gibson’s twenty years before I learned just how far to the right he actually is. That can be a factor: familiarity with a person before learning what their warts are tends to make the warts less troublesome. One of the most memorable family friends from my years as a youth was a man who was warm, loving of his friends, wickedly funny…and a bigot who could get really bad sometimes if he drank too much. It happens.

Avoiding movies or teevee shows that feature actors with whom I disagree has always struck me as being a faulty premise. There are just too many people to keep track of, then; that way really does strike me as being limiting in my choices. I don’t stop watching Tom Cruise movies because he’s a Scientologist any more than I avoid Gary Sinise because he’s conservative. There are just too many actors to keep track of, and ultimately, who cares?

UPDATE and CORRECTION: Serves me right for not totally fact-checking myself. A reader points out, in comments, that Paul Di Filippo did not edit the “Mindblowing SF Tales” book; rather, he appears in it as a writer and posted a defense of it online which then triggered lots of spirited discussion. Thanks to “Phy” for setting me straight, and I of course regret my error. Oops and apologias!

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Ye Gods

The more I think about it, the more glad I am that the Democrats didn’t nominate John Edwards last year. Boy Howdy, what a piece of work that guy has turned out to be.

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How long until George Lucas reboots Star Wars?

UPDATE: Broken link fixed.

Apparently Bryan Singer is on the cusp of directing a Battlestar Galactica movie. That doesn’t seem terribly noteworthy, since the show just ended — except that the movie, by all reports, won’t have anything to do with the recently completed show! Instead it will draw upon the original material for the 1978 Glen A. Larson show.

So a show that was on thirty years ago, and was already rebooted into a very successful show that ran for several years, will now be rebooted again into a movie franchise. Huh?!

Look, I like Bryan Singer, actually. I didn’t care for The Usual Suspects, but everything I’ve seen since then by Singer has been pretty good. (And yes, I include Superman Returns.) And I’m all for explodey-spaceshippy space opera goodness on the big screen. But this “rebooting” craze has to hit a wall at some point, doesn’t it? Isn’t there any impetus anymore to come up with something new?

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Vix

Michael Vick returns to the NFL, as a member of the Philadelphia Eagles.

I’m glad he’s not with the Bills, but he’s still with a team I kind of like, so that makes it hard. I’d been hoping he would end up with some team I don’t really care about. Jacksonville, maybe. Or the Bucs.

I’m generally of mixed mind on Vick. He did an awful thing (running a dogfighting ring), and it was well and truly an awful thing. On a moral scale, I think that Vick’s transgression is quite a bit worse than, say, the steroid-poppers of Major League Baseball. In my book, cheating to hit home runs isn’t nearly as horrible as taking pleasure and finding entertainment in the violent and torturous deaths of animals. Not even close. I find what Vick did loathsome, and had the Bills signed him, I would probably have declared the end to my Bills fandom and switched my allegiances fully to the Steelers (who have always been my #2 team).

However, I can’t deny that while what Vick did is about as loathsome as it gets on my moral scale before moving into “crime against humans” territory, I also can’t deny that he paid the price dictated by society. He served time in jail, and his personal finances, once princely, are now a train wreck. His “sky’s the limit” football career is now reduced to “Work hard and hope the guy in front of you gets hurt someday and maybe you’ll get a shot”. Vick has fallen far and hard, and I can’t deny that he deserves the proverbial second chance.

I just don’t want that second chance to be here. Maybe Vick’s sincere in his contrition since his release from prison, and maybe he’s really turned himself into a new person. At his press conference today he was extremely contrite, with all the right answers and all the right statements. Someone on a sportstalk radio show asked, “Which is it? Is it that Vick was well-rehearsed and well-prepared in advance of this press conference, or is it that he spent eighteen months in prison and had a lot of time to think about his actions and what they meant?” I’m not sure it can’t be both, to be honest.

As I said, maybe Michael Vick is a model citizen from here on out, never getting so much as a speeding ticket and never stepping out of line and finding ways to become a role model again. If that happens, good for him. That, after all, is what’s supposed to happen. But it’ll be a long time before it’s evident that that’s the case, and in the interim, I don’t want him on Buffalo’s roster.

(On a side note, I think it’s been generally embarrassing to see the rumors flying around the sports news world the last week or so about Vick. There have been “Vick sightings” everywhere, including Buffalo and New England, that were eventually debunked for one reason or another, but each new rumor that would pop up on Twitter or someplace similar would be reported by the news, and checked out, and followed up on, because woe to the news station that misses the story of Vick’s arrival in their town. I’ve found this embarrassing, not just because the news outlets have been led by the nose this whole time, but also because of the likelihood that at least some of those “Vick sightings” were probably sincere. Someone probably saw a big, strong black guy on a plane somewhere, maybe wearing athletic gear, and thought, “Hey, this town’s an NFL town! Is that Michael Vick?” And then we’re off to the races. Jeez.)

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Something for Thursday

Sometimes one wants a bit of musical perfection; when I’m in such a mood, I generally turn to one of two sources: Mozart or Bach. Here is Hilary Hahn playing the Gavotte from Bach’s Partita No. 3 in E for solo violin:

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Oops….

I just now realized, at nearly 9:00 at night, that I forgot to come up with a Random Wednesday Conversation Starter post for this morning. I’m chalking it up to the minor cold I’ve been nursing the last two days. I’ll get back to it next week. Really. I’m going to write the post right now and schedule it so it automatically appears.

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Gee, thanks for coming down from Elysium to talk to us….

Someone from the New Yorker decided to read some fantasy:

I’ve read a few best-selling fantasy series—Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings, His Dark Materials, Twilight, Narnia, A Wrinkle in Time, The Dark Is Rising—but I would never describe myself as an aficionado. First because all these books are on about a fourth-grade reading level–

At this point, were this a sitcom like Scrubs, this is where you would hear the sound of the record needle being dragged across the grooves. “Fourth-grade reading level”? Lord of the Rings? Really?

I don’t have much to say about the recommendations offered. It’s a decent-enough list of recent fantasy writing, but it all tends to the “epic fantasy” arena. The fantasy genre is incredibly rich, offering so much beyond the whole swords-in-epic-lands kind of thing — Tim Powers, Christopher Moore, Lian Hearn, many others — so I’m surprised the writer of this article stuck with mainstream, epic fantasy. I haven’t read Goodkind or Hobb, but I have read Tad Williams, and Memory, Sorrow and Thorn is a good series, although I found it overlong and overstuffed. Erikson is good, although I wasn’t as wowed by Gardens of the Moon as most others (which leads me to believe that I may have missed something there). And it’s all a matter of taste, but it’s been years since Terry Brooks impressed me.

Anyhoo….

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