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NORM: I’ve been known to perspire a bit.

CARLA: We could grow rice!

OK, as I write this, it’s about 11:30 at night and I’ve only just now turned on the Monday Night Football game. It’s early in the fourth quarter, with Tampa Bay leading 10-0. These two teams played each other in last year’s NFC Championship Game, and both are widely expected to go deep into the playoffs again this year. It’s a close game between two teams who are developing a nice rivalry. So what are the ABC commentators, including John Madden, talking about right now?

The fact that the new Tampa Bay center, a guy named Wade, sweats a lot.

I mean, this guy sweats a lot. He sweats so much that Brad Johnson, the Bucs’ quarterback, apparently has compared going under center with this guy to entering a rain forest. So sweaty, that the ABC camera crew is indulging us in multiple-angled closeups of Mr. Wade’s sweaty posterior. I think I just heard a chorus of guys from the sports bar a half-mile down the road from my house going, EWWWWW!!!

But hey, at least John Madden hasn’t used his tele-strator thingie to draw white circles around the man’s sweaty nether-regions. Yet.

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