Not my favorite piece in the world — I always find it a bit repetitive on the way to its unquestionably thrilling climax — but I’ve had it on the brain a bit since linking part of it in my Erich Kunzel memorial post, so here’s Seiji Ozama conducting the Berlin Philharmonic in Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture. (It’s in two parts.)
Colin Cowherd is a giant doodie-head.
I was listening to WGR, the local sports-radio talk station, on my way to work this morning, because WNED was playing some baroque thing that I didn’t want to listen to. (Probably Vivaldi.) Sometimes WGR likes to promote their programming by airing small snippets, a minute or less, from something said on one of their shows the day or two before. This morning, they played a clip of Colin Cowherd, the guy who is on from 10:00 to noon, the slot vacated some years ago on the ESPN Radio network by Tony Cornhiser.
I’ll be honest: I can’t stand Colin Cowherd. I hate his voice, he has a bizarre man-crush on Tom Brady, and he generally fills his airtime with one stupid utterance after another. The clip WGR played this morning was a case in point. He was apparently referring to a suggestion (made by whom, I don’t know) that the NFL set aside its local teevee blackout rules this season, as several teams are apparently in serious trouble with regard to selling out their stadiums. The franchises he named at Jacksonville and San Diego. Cowherd indicated that he’s not inclined to support such a rules change, since smaller towns, like Buffalo, manage to support their teams by selling out all the time.
Setting aside the issue of whether it makes sense for the Bills, seemingly hopelessly mired in mediocrity for a decade, are selling as many season tickets right now as they did when they were the AFC’s best team and going to the Super Bowl every year, it might have been nice to hear Cowherd saying something positive about Buffalo — but then he proceeded to crap all over it, noting that football is all there is to do in Buffalo since our weather is awful (it isn’t, but good luck telling him that) and…
…wait for it…
…that Buffalo is…
…(I couldn’t believe my ears)
…geographically isolated.
Yes. Colin Cowherd said that Buffalo is “geographically isolated”, whereas San Diego is not because it’s close to LA and Las Vegas.
Well.
According to this site, it is 130 miles from San Diego to LA and 340 miles to Las Vegas. So, for Buffalo to be “geographically isolated”, all other destinations of note would have to be quite a lot farther away from Buffalo than LA and/or Vegas are from San Diego. Right? Well, to me, if you can drive someplace in less than eight hours, you can consider yourself un-isolated from that particular destination. Assuming 70 miles an hour, here are some places within eight hours of Buffalo by car:
So, Buffalo to Chicago: 540 miles.
Buffalo to Indianapolis: 510 miles.
Buffalo to Boston: 470 miles.
Buffalo to Washington, DC: 410 miles.
Buffalo to New York City: 370 miles.
Buffalo to Detroit: 360 miles.
Buffalo to Philadelphia: 360 miles.
Buffalo to Pittsburgh: 220 miles.
Buffalo to Cleveland: 190 miles.
And, of course, Buffalo to Toronto is about a hundred miles.
Yeah, Colin. Buffalo is totally isolated. Look at a map next time, doofus.
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A Random Wednesday Conversation Starter
Erich
Maestro Erich Kunzel has died, after a battle with cancer.
Kunzel has been active for many years, but his most noted accomplishment may be his founding of the Cincinnati Pops Orchestra (comprised of musicians from the Cincinnati Symphony), and the lengthy body of recording work he did with that ensemble. Kunzel’s recording frequently featured film music, and nearly any lover of film music will own at least a few of Kunzel’s recordings. He conducted film music with sparkle and verve, and he will be greatly missed.
Here are a few samples from his baton.
The Magnificent Seven:
The Love Theme from Spartacus:
Gone With the Wind:
“Across the Universe”, by the Beatles (performed by the King’s Singers):
The last few minutes of the 1812 Overture, performed at “A Capitol Fourth”:
Farewell, Maestro Kunzel, and thanks for the music.
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At the risk of offending….
Moist. Moist. Moist! Moist moist moist moist moistity moist!
It seems that some people don’t like the word “moist”. From the linked article:
But on this side of the Atlantic, one curious word seems to be under attack.
Not that’s it’s offensive. But because it makes people — especially women — feel icky.
Entire websites now revolve around a hatred of “moist.”
There are a dozen Facebook groups calling for an end of the word, with ‘I HATE the word MOIST!” boasting 822 decidedly dry members.
Even television has acknowledged the moist backlash, with a character on the sitcom How I Met Your Mother venting the word rubs her the wrong way.
University of Pennsylvania linguist Mark Liberman has traced the evolving resentment over the adjective. He’s found humans carry around a propensity for “word aversion.” Among those that give us the creeps, are “hardscrabble,” “pugilist,” “squall” and “giggle.”
Liberman tells Sun Media the aversion often seems purely phonetic, though other words, like “baffle,” evoke an unpleasant sensation.
Many even harbour nasty feelings toward “creamy,” “navel” and even “panties,” which may contain sexual aspects, he notes.
However, none compare to the flood of disgust for “moist.”
“(It) seems to be the word with the largest number of haters, apparently because it hits so many phonetic and semantic buttons at once,” he explains.
This strikes me as a bit odd. Not the notion of hating particular words, mind you — I still shudder when I recall the Great “Copacetic” Craze of the late 90s, when everybody was using the word “copacetic”, a word for “excellent” which to my ears sounds more like a word for “carrying a strange viral rash that is contagious and purple” — but really, what on Earth is wrong with moist? Is the entire word to be crushed under the unpleasant connotations that arise from, well, certain people feeling moist in areas they wouldn’t want to feel moist? But that’s just context, isn’t it? I mean, what about a chocolate cake? Are we to avoid referring to a moist cake? I think a moist cake is pretty desirable, myself.
For that matter, what’s wrong with creamy? Sure, there are some icky things that can be described as creamy, but some of my favorite substances in the world are creamy. Cool-whip, for one.
In fact, when it comes to pie, I like things creamy. And moist.
I find myself baffled that some people’s panties get twisted over their distaste for descriptors like moist and creamy. But who knows; this very blog post could just be an example of me overexamining my own navel.
(Original link via Lynn.)
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Thanks to the Earl (of Sandwich)
I’m not sure where I got the idea from — I’m pretty sure that it’s not my own — but a thought for a potentially yummy sandwich popped into my head the other evening. I tried it out today for lunch, and sure enough, I loved it. This one’s going in the rotation. What is it?
— 2 slices of thick, whole grain bread (I’m using Dark German wheat right now, the kind where the crust is studded with seeds)
— 2 tbs cream cheese (I’m using light cream cheese, as I can’t really tell the difference between it and regular)
— 7 or 8 nice-sized strawberries, sliced.
Spread the cream cheese on both slices of bread, as you would mayo or butter or whatever. Fill the sandwich with the strawberries. Consume.
I love sandwiches, of nearly all types. I’ve been on a PB&J kick of late, but instead of the grape jelly that The Wife and The Daughter insist are proper for PB&J, I’ve been using strawberry, or raspberry, or the blueberry-rhubarb freezer jam that The Wife made some time back. I’ve also been doing good old tuna salad a bit. And of course there are the usual cold cuts, although I don’t use those as much lately.
But yeah, the cream cheese-and-strawberry sandwich is terrific.
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Bone
UPDATE: Welcome, readers of Boneville, and thanks to Jeff Smith for the link.
I’ve read a few graphic novels lately that I’ve procrastinated posting about, so here goes.
I’ve seen Jeff Smith‘s name mentioned a lot in comics circles as being a highly-admired artist and writer, but I hadn’t read him much at all except for his recent Shazam! miniseries (which I reviewed for GMR back when). Smith’s most famous work to date is his gigantic opus Bone, which I’d held off reading for a while. The first time I heard of Bone was in the comics essay in one of the Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror volumes about ten years ago now; the writer made the first of many comparisons I’ve seen over the years of Smith’s work to Tolkien’s. Well, that is certainly high praise.
But when I looked into a volume of Bone back in 2003 in the library, I remember being confused. I open to the first page and see, instead of epic fantasy goings-on, a trio of characters wandering through a wasteland. The characters are…well, they’re hard to describe. Pasty-white, doughy folk. Short. It looked like, well, the Pilsbury Dough Boy and two of his friends wandered off for an adventure. Tolkien? Bone? Not so much. Maybe it was a great book, but…I wasn’t going to find out right then.
Well, years go by, and I see more and more reference to Bone in reverent tones, with more comparisons of the book to Tolkien. Now I was finally intrigued, although I still didn’t read the book; but when I read Smith’s afore-mentioned Shazam!, I was highly impressed with Smith and decided that it was finally time to look into Bone. A little while after that I’m in a local bookstore and spot individual volumes of Bone priced cheaply ($9.99, I think), and picked one up. Then I forgot I owned it, as I do with many books I buy. I only read that first volume of Bone, Out From Boneville, a few months back, and I enjoyed it so much – it won me over in the first ten pages – that I soon tracked down the rest of the series in the enormous, single-volume edition.
When I say “enormous”, I mean just that. Bone runs for more than 1300 pages. (That single volume edition retails at around forty bucks, but that’s when I tend to use those 40%-off-any-item coupons that Borders sends me once in a while. It’s the best way I know to make comics affordable. As I’ve noted before, I tend to think that price point of individual volumes is one of the major factors that keeps comics readership lower than we all know it should be.) And yes, it turns out that this is a comic of truly epic scope, even if it doesn’t feel epic in its first few chapters. Bone‘s epic quality sneaks up on you, and there’s the big way in which Smith’s opus mirrors Tolkien’s: the story starts out quite small indeed, and gradually becomes bigger and bigger and bigger over time until we realize that our heroes have stumbled into the middle of an ancient struggle that is about to climax.
The story opens with three “Bones” wandering in the desert: Phoncible P. Bone (otherwise known as “Phoney Bone”), Smiley Bone, and the one who will turn out to be our main hero, Fone Bone. They’re known as “Bones” because they hail from “Boneville”, a locale we never see. They have been kicked out of Boneville because one of Phoney Bone’s get-rich-quick schemes has gone awry. Never fear, though: Phoney Bone is always ready with a new get-rich-quick scheme, much to the chagrin of the sweet-natured Fone Bone and much to the amusement of Smiley Bone, who finds mirth in nearly everything. Soon the Bones are separated, however, and Fone Bone finds himself stranded and alone in a dark and mysterious forest populated by talking insects, giant furry beasts called “Rat Creatures” who are menacing but not-terribly-bright, a dragon whom apparently only Fone Bone can see, and a girl named Thorn and her protective grandmother. Fone Bone follows Thorn to the little farmstead where she lives, and little by little finds himself drawn into various intrigues in this forest, where all is watched by a menacing figure who seems to be directing the Rat Creatures for some nefarious purpose.
Along the way, Fone Bone develops a crush on Thorn and bores everyone around him by obsessively discussing his favorite book (Moby Dick); he runs afoul of too many of Phoney Bone’s schemes to remember; he runs afoul of a giant cat whose allegiances are unknown; he runs afoul of hidden perils called “Ghost Circles”; he travels into ancient shrines and ancient cities and finds himself in the middle of ancient wars.
Bone is really something special. It is long and epic, but also poignant and intimate and familiar. The characters’ motivations are never unexplained or inexplicable, and much of the conflict is character-driven. There are sad moments and laugh-out-loud funny moments, and Jeff Smith ties it all together with wonderful art. Originally the series was done in black-and-white only (and that’s how my single-volume edition is), but the smaller re-issues have been colored beautifully under Smith’s direction. I prefer the B&W because it is (a) original and (b) cheaper. Bone is seriously wonderful stuff.
Smith’s most recent comics work is an ongoing series called RASL. This is an ongoing series which Smith is apparently self-publishing. It’s a science-fiction story that is aimed at mature audiences (which is a strong consideration after Smith’s earlier appropriate-for-all-ages Bone and Shazam! work). I’ve only read the first volume of the graphic novels that are collecting it, so I don’t have a strong impression of RASL yet. But it’s a surprisingly dark and violent tale featuring an art thief who travels between dimensions using this gigantic gizmo he wears on his back. The book is hard to describe, and while I found it intriguing, I also found it hard to evaluate based on the little that is printed in the graphic novel edition. I’ll probably wait however long it takes Smith to do RASL in its entirety before I really dig into it.
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You can call me Mr. Filion.
A while back, I opined on Facebook that currently, the world’s reigning God Emperor of Coolness is William Shatner. It is my belief that while Fonzie can snap his fingers to make the jukebox start up, a snap of William Shatner’s fingers will cause all four original Beatles to materialize out of thin air, instruments in hand, to play a set.
I will now add a corollary: Shatner is God Emperor of Coolness, but the Crown Prince is Nathan Fillion.
Here’s an older appearance by Fillion on Jimmy Kimmel’s show:
All hail the future God Emperor of Coolness!
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Sentential Links #182
Linkage, politics first….
But once it became clear, he didn’t just turn his seat into a sinecure or retreat into cynicism, he carried on valiantly, becoming one of the few master legislators in American history, insisting on making progress by hook or crook even during the long era of conservative rule in which he served. And he took the slings and arrows from his enemies along the way with humor, dignity and class.
And now the non-politics.
:: WANKER! (Note to self: don’t “friend” my boss on Facebook. Got it.)
:: Since I am aging and becoming Totally Old, I would like a throbbing forehead vein like Clint Eastwood and various telekinetic manga characters. A throbbing forehead vein – is that too much to ask? (That’s actually the entire post, but it also has a video clip. I just thought the quip was funny.)
:: In August 1979, I took my last drink. It was about four o’clock on a Saturday afternoon, the hot sun streaming through the windows of my little carriage house on Dickens. I put a glass of scotch and soda down on the living room table, went to bed, and pulled the blankets over my head. I couldn’t take it any more. (Roger Ebert is really turning into a remarkable blogger.)
All for this week.
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Sunday Burst of Weirdness
Oddities abound!
:: OK, I’ll admit that I tend to treat this series occasionally as less a repository for weird linkage and more a repository for “quick hits” linkage, i.e., stuff I want to link but not talk much about. It’s a fair cop, but that’s how I roll.
In that spirit, here’s an interesting feature on the concept album in music. I like how the author points out that rock artists claim to have started the concept album idea when Frank Sinatra was doing it in the Fifties, but surely the proto-concept album was the song cycle, which occupied the minds of composers all through the 19th century. Heh!
(And Pink Floyd’s The Wall is a great album.)
:: It strikes me as odd that a tool exists for the aiming of your car’s washer fluid jets. You need a tool for this? When a safety pin, a thin probe, or — if you work that kind of job — the pin of a nametag can do the job?
:: Have I linked There, I fixed it yet? Probably…but this one had me wondering if we’ve just caught a glimpse into Steven Den Beste’s car.
(Actually, I’m not sure SDB even has a car — he seems to talk about walking everywhere as opposed to driving, but he doesn’t use air conditioning and claims that on very hot days, blowing a fan across some blocks of ice actually does lower his apartment’s temperature a bit, to bearable levels. The principle is certainly sound enough; it would provide some cooling, albeit not as much as an actual pressurized coolant inside a compressor-driven cooling system. But the ice will absorb heat energy from the warm air passed over it, and it’ll reduce humidity as well as moist air condenses on the ice. SDB’s method probably works longer, though, given the lower surface area of his giant blocks of ice; all those little cubes in the bag in the car will melt faster. And I know that SDB doesn’t like unsolicited advice, but it’s always seemed to me that he might save some money if he was to keep a few gallon milk jugs around and, when hot weather is in the forecast, fill them and freeze ’em for such use. It would probably be cheaper than buying large quantities of ice blocks — but this also assumes large amounts of freezer space, which he may well not have. Probably just answered my own question.)
More next week.

