“Obviously, we’d prefer for the stadium to not be consumed in a giant fireball….”

Buffalo Bills fans have been frustrated this preseason by the display put on by the starting offense. That’s putting it mildly, actually. The Bills have had four preseason games thus far, with one more to come — they had five this year instead of the usual four because they played the additional Hall of Fame Game — and in those games, the starting offense has not scored a single touchdown. Ouch.

Now, there’s all the usual remindering of how the preseason doesn’t matter and how the games don’t count and it’s about shaking off the rust and breaking in the youngsters and evaluating talent and yada yada yada. And I don’t think anyone would care if the Bills still lost all their preseason games — the 1990 Bills went 0-4 in the preseason, before going 13-3 in the regular season for the first of their four Super Bowl seasons — but fans would still like to see some evidence of improvement, of basic competence. Fans would like to see some evidence, any little scrap of it, that the team hasn’t actually managed to regress. That evidence has not been forthcoming.

I remember back during the 2001 through 2003 seasons, when Gregg Williams was the Bills’ head coach, and the offense was as inept then as it is now. (Except for ’02, when the offense was actually good for a single year but the defense was awful.) The Bills would lose a game 17-7, 13-6, 20-3, or something like that, and Williams would take the microphone at the postgame conference and, when asked for positives from the game, say things like “We punted the ball well today.” It was mindboggling to me then, and now — the one guy on your team whom you do not want to have a career day is your punter. But there was Williams, praising the guy whose job it is to kick the ball to the other team when you’ve failed to advance it. Oy.

Which brings me to last night’s preseason game against the Steelers. Now, we’re talking about the Steelers here — defending Super Bowl champions, two Super Bowl titles in four years, one of the NFL’s top three teams, and the NFL’s best defense — so it wasn’t totally shocking that the Bills couldn’t put any points on the board. But still, you’d like to see some movement, some evidence of competence, however slight. Instead, the Bills totaled 135 yards overall. Their quarterbacks combined for 96 passing yards. They converted zero out of eight third-downs. They were, simply, bad.

And now, this morning, I see that head coach Dick Jauron was looking for positives from the game, and he proceeded to opine:

“I guess I could say I thought we punted it well.”

Where oh where is Marty Schottenheimer?

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He has concluded that we are NOT orcs.


Walking Tree Man, II, originally uploaded by Jaquandor.

Last Friday, The Family and I made our annual pilgrimage to the Erie County Fair. We used to actually go to the Fair twice during its run, but that got to be too expensive, so now we pack everything into a single day. We arrived at 10:30 in the morning and left after 11:00 at night, after everything had closed down except the Midway and the beer tents. It was a long and tiring and happy day. County Fairs are wonderful things.

And this year, the weather was perfect on our day. The last two years, we got rained out. Two years ago the day was rainy the whole time and we finally gave up around 5:00; last year, there were sporadic showers throughout the day that we were able to work our way around, but then around 7:00 there was a good downpour that soaked everything before moving on. It cleared up right afterward, but it was also late enough that we knew that nothing would dry out because the sun was about to set.

What do we do at the Fair? Fair stuff, obviously. We look at all of the animals (this is of limited interest to me, but The Wife grew up on a farm, so she loves it, and so does The Daughter). We ride some rides. We go into the exhibit halls and see artworks by local artists (although we didn’t make it into the woodcarving building this year). We wander through the various buildings that feature shopping and sales pitches; there’s something totally infectious about the sheer hucksterism on display at the County Fair each year. And yeah, we eat. Our traditional Fair lunch is a corn dog, which are always fresh out of the fryer. We get Po’Boy sandwiches, and a giant bag of Kettle Corn; we get maple cotton candy and ribbon fries (usually — we missed the ribbon fries this year) and pizza and ice cream and we wash it all down with lots of birch beer (in addition to the water we carry in ourselves). And usually, the next day I gnaw on a head of lettuce all day to make up for the salt-and-fat laden day before.

This, and the posts that follow, are all photos I took from our day at the Fair. More are available at my Flickr photostream. This particular photo is of a new thing this year: the “Walking Tree Man”, who looks like an Ent, clearly enough. I wasn’t terribly sure what the point of this was, but it looked cool enough. I restrained myself from making a bunch of Treebeard jokes, though.

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The Carousel, after dark


Carousel, III, originally uploaded by Jaquandor.

The Carousel at the Fair is one of The Daughter’s favorite rides. She’s loved carousels pretty much since the first time she ever rode one (when she was two, I think). The Fair’s carousel is a double-decker ride with lots of different things to ride: horses that go up and down, horses that remain stationary, a couple of spinning “tea cup” type seats, a couple of benches that rock back and forth, and a couple of benches that don’t move at all. Something for everyone on this thing.

I was taking random shots of the carousel at night, of which this is one. I didn’t even realize that I’d taken this young woman’s photo until I put the photos on the computer a few days later. I have no idea who she is; she just happened to be in the frame when I clicked the shutter release. But I like the way she’s sitting on the horse; I wonder who she was showing off for.

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Charlotte's Revenge


Charlotte’s Revenge, originally uploaded by Jaquandor.

This diorama, also in the Fine Arts building (see below), cracked me up. It looks nice and all, and ‘A for effort’ and all that, but I just couldn’t get beyond the relative size of Charlotte compared to Orville and the rest of the gang. It’s like Charlotte has become the radioactive mutant spider that gave Peter Parker his powers. I’ll bet this Charlotte isn’t nice and sweet:

“I’m back, boys, and I’m not so happy this time! Now tell me, where’s that gluttonous bastard Templeton? He and I have business….”

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A bee


A bee, originally uploaded by Jaquandor.

The Fair has a parade that winds its way through the fairgrounds every day at 5:00, so at that time we took a seat on a bench beside some bushes and waited. I glanced to my left, right at the bush, and saw this bumble bee, happily and busily going about its daily business. I took a few photos of him; this is the only one that really looked decent. It was fascinating to watch him work. He took no notice of us at all.

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The Whirling of the Swings


The Swings, II, originally uploaded by Jaquandor.

While The Daughter was riding the bumper cars six or seven times consecutively, I spent some time studying this ride, just next door. It’s the usual “spinning swing” ride, but I loved the pseudo-Victorian decor of the ride — the paintings and the coloring and the ornate scrollwork and all that. Very cool. I love it when carnival rides don’t just look like a bunch of steel rods, gears, and pulleys.

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Ach, if not for the non-life-sized ship….

One of my favorite places at the County Fair is the Fine Arts building, where all entrants pertaining to the Fine Arts are displayed. Paintings, photographs, quilting, topiaries, costumery, cultivation of African violets and other flowers, et cetera, all in one building. We usually spend quite a bit of time in this building.

There’s always a section of the building given over to dioramas like this. I suppose a couple of themes are assigned and then entrants craft their entries around one of them; this year, one of the themes was “Treasure Island”, so there were three different dioramas devoted to all things piratical. Every diorama further sports a card on which the judges’ comments are noted. This one cracked me up, because if you click through to the large size, you can read it:

“Ship not life size.”

So, apparently this diorama would have been perfect if the artist had erected the Black Pearl behind it. Hmmmm.

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The Midway at Night, I


The Midway at Night, I, originally uploaded by Jaquandor.

I don’t know if my little Kodak digital point-and-shoot is equipped to take good night photos and I just haven’t figured it out, or not, but I’m usually slightly disappointed that I can’t get the Midway at night to look as bright in photos as it is in person. Nevertheless I like the way this turned out. I took this from about one-quarter of the way up while we rode the Giant Wheel.

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Yorick!


Yorick!, originally uploaded by Jaquandor.

From one of the more famous scenes in one of Shakespeare’s greatest plays, to the indignity of being used thusly at the Erie County Fair! For shame, for shame.

This was a booth selling all kinds of knick-knacks in this vein: place settings and decor for the goth set, I suppose.

(More County Fair photo posts will follow.)

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The official site of Kelly Sedinger: Reader, writer, photographer, and dreamer

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