:: Thanks for helping me rehearse for my next grand jury appearance.
:: I am a middle aged, doughy white man. At 80 years old Ernie is thinner, far more fit and much more energetic than I will ever be. He also has more hair on his head.
:: One of the things most people don’t realize about cows is that they are extremely crafty What I mean is, they are much smarter than one might think. Case in point: Fences.
:: Jennifer Tilly is one of my best friends. No, we’ve never met, but I know it. Deep down I am sure she and I would be buddies. She’s funny and quirky, sexy as hell, and has a cartoon voice. What else do you need?
:: I love the rain, it hides all these tears.
:: I’m sure you all remember the excitement that led up to January 1, 2000! Today’s story, written 43 years before, predicts all sorts of amazing things, including a future in which pedantic trolls don’t go around saying, “Um, actually the new century doesn’t start until 2001.”
:: I am the kind of guy that loves new food products. If I see a commercial for some new cheez-it flavor or something, I have to try it. I am a sucker when I go into the grocery store and see ‘NEW’ on any product in big bold letters just teasing me. This is especially true for the cookie, cracker, chip or candy aisle. My ultimate weakness is a new flavor of Doritos, I have to have them.
More next week!