Have you ever….

Seen at Sheila O’Malley‘s place, a simple “bold the things you’ve done” quiz.

Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain (for a less than intuitive definition of “mountain”, that is)
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelos David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business (It never went anywhere.)
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous (Football players count, I hope)
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby (It seems this quiz is aimed at the wimmenfolk….)
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

I figured I’d look for a few other versions of this kind of thing, so here we go again! I randomly searched on Google’s Blog Search for “Things I’ve Done”, and found this (editing out the ones duplicated)

1.Bought everyone in the bar a drink
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
6. Held a tarantula
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game (How huge? A regular-season NFL game? Or a “huge” game as in a game with big ramifications, like a Game Seven in some sport?)
18. Touched an iceberg
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
34. Ridden a roller coaster
36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
59. Lounged around in bed all day Not all day… but until 12 or 1pm.
60. Played touch football Yep. It sucked.
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
80. Gotten a tattoo Lol…
81. Rafted the Snake River (No, but I’ve kayaked the Youghiogheny.)
82. Been on a television news program as an “expert”
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas (When I was a kid.)
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children It’s not something you can really put in the past tense though, is it?
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold (Not one of my finer moments)
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over HELLO, Sunshine Coast!
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication My appearances in the Buffalo News count, yes?
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart (Wow, I hope not)
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
114. Gone on a photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol (Never. I’m uncomfortable around guns.)
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse (Those animals are HUGE!)
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi (Just the other day, as a matter of fact.)
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes (They’re tasty!)
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions (So far, so good.)
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ (I had a classical music radio show in college. It was kind of fun…except the day when this girl kept calling me at the station with her request for me to play “The Sun Will Come Out” from Annie, a show which makes me want to draw my own blood in large quantities.)
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

I can’t tell if I’m very adventurous or not. It takes a while for new versions of the “Have You Ever” quiz to go around, so I’ll keep an eye out….

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Oooooh! A quiz!

Belladonna has a quiz, one of those ones that started in e-mail but can be ported to blogging easily. It has two parts. First a “Things you’ve done” list, then some questions. Here it is, with the things I’ve done in bold:

Gone on a blind date. (Never. I am staggeringly awful at situations where I am forced to meet new people. To me, the worst form of torture is those horrible business “meetings” where people from various locations are gathered in one place and then shuffled around so you’re spending the day with people you’ve never met. I hate that stuff and I tend to clam up, so I have to think I’d be one of the world’s worst blind dates. But hey, at least I’d be unlikely to make a pass at the woman…but then, it’s not like this is ever going to happen anyway, so why am I going on about it? Moving on.)

Skipped school. (Never an actual entire day of school, but I did skip classes more than once.

Watched someone die (If a cat counts as “someone”, which I think it does.)

Been to Canada (Fun place; we need to go back. It’s been two years since our last foray, although I still carry psychological scars from the ordeal of trying to get back into the US.)

Been to Mexico (I have no memory of it, but my mother says I’ve been there.)

Been to Florida (Last time was Disney World in 1998. Loved it.)

Been to Africa

Been on a plane (I don’t much like flying, but I’ll do it if I have to. I’d rather take a train, if we had better trains in this country.)

Been lost (I’ve also been in Nebraska. Same thing. [rimshot])

Gone to Washington, DC (Wow, I’ve never been there! What’s wrong with that picture?)

Swam in the ocean (The Pacific and the Atlantic.)

Broken a bone

Been in a traffic accident.

Cried yourself to sleep

Been on TV

Stold traffic signs (Yeah, that’s how they spelled it, folks. “Stold”. I’ll be charitable and assume that they hit the ‘d’ when they were aiming for the ‘e’. It happens. You should see the typos I generate in rough drafts.)

Played cops and robbers (Maybe not “Cops and Robbers” specifically, but as kids we did have our own versions of “Good guys, Bad guys” games.)

Recently colored with crayons

Sang Karaoke

Paid for a meal with coins only (It was a fast food joint, so it was something like sixteen quarters, which they actually didn’t mind all that much. Receiving large bills is actually a much bigger pain in the ass than receiving all coins, since large bills — especially very early in the day — make it harder to make change for people afterwards. I once had a teenage jerkoff come into Pizza Hut with his equally stupid girlfriend, and this guy was trying to act all impressive by flicking his $100 bill onto the counter at me when he came up to pay. Problem was, he was the first paying customer of the day, so I didn’t have enough tens or twenties to make good change for him, so I very nicely opened the safe and counted out his change to him. I sent that jerkweed on his way with a pocket full of $88 in singles. He tried making a stink about it, but I just looked at him and said, “Sorry, this is a restaurant, not a bank. That’s all I’ve got to make your change with.” He didn’t have a choice, so he took his money and left, grumbling all the while.)

Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t (That could be the title of my autobiography, actually: Things I Did Even Though I Told Myself I Wouldn’t.)

Made prank phone calls (Not very often, just two or three times in college after a bit of drinking. No dirty talk, just calling people at 3:00 am and saying, “Are you sleeping?” And then they said “Not anymore”, saying, “OK, goodnight!”)

Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose & elsewhere. (Yeah, I was “that kid” in grade school. The one the other kids would try to make laugh at lunch time for this very reason.)

Caught a snowflake on your tongue (Lucy’s full of crap, by the way. November snowflakes taste wonderful, and December snowflakes are heavenly.)

Danced in the rain (I don’t dance. I should.)

Written a letter to Santa Claus

Been kissed under the mistletoe (Another I should do.)

Watched the sunrise with someone (With employees at work, actually. I like sunrises.)

Blown bubbles (Bubbles are fun.)

Gone ice-skating (I naturally figured it would be almost exactly like rollerblading. It’s not.)

Been skinny dipping outdoors (I’ve never had the opportunity, and I’m not sure I’d do it if I did. Paranoia, you know.)

Gone to the movies (Strange quiz, isn’t this? Hasn’t everybody done this?)

Have a nickname (I need to get one. “Jaquandor” isn’t a nickname, I don’t think.)

Body piercings (Nope.)

Other Questions:

1. Favorite drink?

Alcoholic? I love the Spiced Rum (“spum”, ’round these parts), the Vanilla Rum, and the Coconut Rum. I also like the Southern Comfort; all of these, mixed with cola. I also love red wine of all types. And beer. And draft cider.

Non-alcoholic? There’s good old water. I’ve cut back on the coffee and switched to green tea several days a week; I love tea with honey, except for good mint teas which don’t need any sweetener. Chocolate milk is a great post-workout beverage. And so on.

2. How much do you love your job?

Great! I just got a new toolbag for my tools, replacing the toolbox I was using. Sweet! (Although work’s about to get crazy busy since we’re in the crazy busy time of year anyway, and we’re a few weeks out from our annual visit from the people whose name is actually on the front of the building.)

3. Birthplace?

Pittsburgh, PA.

4. Favorite vacation spot?

I just like going away and wish I could do it more…but vacations of the “stick around home and just not go to work for several days” are nice too.

5. Ever eaten just cookies for dinner?

No. PB&J, yes. Cookies, no.

6. Favorite pie?

Apple with ice cream. Pumpkin. Cherry. And I also love coconut cream and French silk pies, which are nice for their variety of uses! (But definitely not pecan! That’s only good for eating, only. Attempting otherwise can only result in blunt force trauma.)

7. Favorite holiday? Different reasons, but I love Christmas, Thanksgiving, and New Year’s Day.

8. Favorite food? Just one? Come on! If really pressed, my default, safe answer is pizza. But even that is a floating variable.

9 Favorite smell? Cooking meat. Burning leaves. Incense. Freshly cut wood. Napalm in the morning. (OK, not that last one.)

10. How do you relax? By reading, writing, listening to music, watching movies, going for walks, working out, plotting how I will destroy my foes.

11. How do you see yourself in 10 years? Probably like I am now, only maybe a bit more financially successful. I’ll be grayer, that’s for sure, but I’m fine with that.

No tags. Just a quiz.

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Fall Quizzes!!!

I didn’t see as many quizzes floating around Blogistan while I was hiatusing (shut up, that’s totally a verb), but here’s one I saw about a month ago at Electronic Cerebrectomy and Tosy and Cosh. It pertains to fall, which is by far my favorite season; where some people want to live in a place where it always feels like July, my wish is for October forever. Fall seems to have this connotation of dying and waning and the light fading before the dark of winter, but I always find fall a time of renewal, a time when I’m more energetic and the world seems more full of things that are possible. Weird? Maybe. But that’s me.

So it’s November, which means that the beauty of the season is pretty much past by this time, but we’re heading into the first cold days of winter, which are the most beautiful of winter’s days anyhow. So, on to the quiz:

Have you ever been apple picking?

Not in a long time. It was probably a field trip in school. But there are few pleasures like a fall apple.

Is there a dish you make/eat only during this time of the year?

The obvious, pumpkin-flavored stuff that you can’t get any other time of year. At Pumpkinville we always get two dozen pumpkin donuts and eat one dozen on the spot (they’re small donuts, so this isn’t as gluttonous as it sounds). Pumpkin ice cream is wonderful stuff, as is pumpkin beer. Apple cider, too, although that stuff is now available year-round. I prefer my cider cold; I’ve never been a big fan of hot cider.

Like many, the colder weather alters my moods, food-wise, in the direction of heartier fare, so while I’ll make a pot of chili at least once a month from October to April, that first pot in October is somehow always the best.

Will you attend a tail gate party this season?

Doubtful. A shame, that, since I’m told that we Bills fans do tailgating better than any other place on the planet, college or pro. Yeah, I’m throwing down the gauntlet.

When do you turn on the heat?

Sometime in October, usually, when the nights get so cold that The Wife orders me to run the heat or endure less-than-optimal sleeping conditions. We have an annoying annual habit – a tradition, I suppose you could call it – of having to call the apartment complex maintenance people to relight our pilot light every single year. Yes, we’re making that call this week.

How many sweaters do you own?

Seven or eight. I like sweaters, actually, although I tend to prefer solid colored ones to ones with funky patterns. But I do like sweater weather. I need to get some new sweaters, actually; my favorite ones are all getting old (although not ratty), and they’re all too big for my emlittling frame. (Yes, that’s word. “Emlittle” is the opposite of “Embiggen”, which all Simpsons fans have firmly ensconced in their personal lexicons.)

Are you fond of Nouveau Beaujolais wine?

Never had it, to my knowledge. But there is a wine available from the Johnson Estates, a Western New York winery, that puts me strongly in mind of fall and winter: Red Ipocras, which is a spiced red wine. I love the stuff. (Note to self: buy some Red Ipocras.)

Do you get excited about Halloween?

Yeah, kind of. It’s more fun to watch The Daughter get excited about her costume, and I always enjoy escorting her for trick-or-treating. We live around the corner from a fairly affluent neighborhood, so we always walk over there and shake them down for lots and lots of candy. (I do not like the fact that Daylight Savings Time now covers Halloween, so it’s absurdly light out when we set out for trick-or-treating. There’s a pleasure to walking around with a flashlight on that night, surrounded by hundreds of other kids with flashlights, that’s gone now. Daylight Savings Time is shite.)

How about Thanksgiving?

I adore Thanksgiving. It’s not just the food, although that’s nice. I love that there’s a holiday for sitting around with family and/or friends, for enjoying their company, for companionship and no pressure for gift-giving or any other ritual other than to be able to look around a bit and think, once or twice, that maybe I don’t have it so bad after all.

Is there an activity you do only in the autumn?

Well, yeah; all the pumpkin and Halloween related stuff. I was fortunate to grow up with parents who didn’t seem to think that raking leaves was worth the effort; I’ve never understood the point of this activity (aside from making the big pile to jump in). Let the leaves fall and stay where they are.

Have you ever burned leaves?

No raking, so no burning. I’ve burned lots of other stuff, though!

Do you own any ‘scarecrow’ decorations?

No. Maybe someday if we have a house.

Do you plant bulbs?

I refer the right honorable reader to the reply I gave some moments ago. (The previous question, actually.)

Your fondest autumn memory?

For a few years in the 90s, we went to Cedar Point each October. It was the perfect time to go: lines were shorter, the place was done up nicely for Halloween, and it was generally a blast. Snuggling close with one’s significant other on a giant Ferris Wheel on a chilly fall evening is a pleasure I wish everyone could have.

When does fall begin for you?

Emotionally, I’m ready for fall as soon as the Erie County Fair wraps up! It used to be held in late August, so it was pretty much the end of the Fair, one more week of summer vacation, and then school started again. This year the Fair was moved to the beginning of August, which screwed everything up.

I always hate that one little stretch of mid-80 degree weather we get in September. It’s fine in July (one nice consequence of weight loss has been that hot weather, while still not my cup of tea, isn’t nearly as unpleasant as it used to be), but in September, I want low 70s and 50s at night.

Really? Fall begins for me when I can wear overalls the entire day and not feel warm at any point.

What is your favorite aspect of fall?

Doesn’t the air seem more clear in October? Doesn’t the world just look a bit sharper? Aren’t the clouds fluffier, the sunsets wider in their spectrum? Isn’t it nice to see women who have tied their hair up all summer finally letting it down? And I’ll take the scent of autumn over that of spring any time.

What do you like to drink in the fall?

Pumpkin coffee, pumpkin beer, apple cider.

What is fall weather like where you live?

Fall is the best time to live in Western New York, period. The promise of fall makes our abysmal springs bearable.

What color is fall?

I think of it as orange. I’ve come to like orange a lot more in recent years.

Do you have a favorite fall chore?

Not especially.

What is your least favorite thing about fall?

We’ll usually have to endure a stretch of gloomy, rainy weather before the beautiful fall days break out; that stinks. And in Buffalo, it gets hard listening to the constant reminders: “It’s gonna snow soon!” Yeah, so? This is Buffalo! Why can’t we just embrace our snow and be happy with it?

What is your favorite fall holiday?

Thanksgiving, because there’s no risk of Milk Duds.

What’s your favorite kind of pie?

Apple, probably. But I also like pumpkin and cherry, for fruit pies. My cream pie tastes are pretty much limited to coconut and chocolate; I don’t like banana cream. I do love pie, though!

Do you have a favorite fall book?

Not specifically, no. But I have noted that in fall and winter my reading tastes, as far as fiction goes, tends to shift toward fantasy and horror; my SF and space opera moods tend to align pretty well with spring and summer. I wonder if that’s a left over association from the Star Wars movies being summer movies, reinforced by the Lord of the Rings films being winter films.

Fall: I like it.

Here’s another quiz I found, this one about Halloween in particular, which comes from Jason Bennion also by way of SamuraiFrog:

What were you last year for Halloween?

I never dress up for Halloween anymore. As I get older, this seems to me a pity. The notion of being someone else for a day is more and more appealing.

What are you going to be this year?

See the previous question: I’m myself.

Favorite costume you have ever worn?

The only costume I remember wearing, frankly, is the Captain Marvel costume my mother made for me when I was in kindergarten. The Big Red Cheese was my favorite superhero in my youth; I loved the guy and I couldn’t understand that other fellow who had the same powers, the guy from some planet that started with a ‘K’, but who didn’t get to go to the Rock of Eternity or channel the strength of six gods or something like that.

How do you spend your Halloween?

We usually have an earlier-than-usual dinner of takeout or quick eats someplace (this year it was Mighty Taco, yum!), and then we take The Daughter trick-or-treating into the rich neighborhood of palatial McMansions that’s right around the corner.

Are you or are you not going trick or treating this year?

We did, yes. Disappointingly, few houses were giving out Almond Joys or Mounds this year, which I always get to eat because The Daughter doesn’t like coconut and neither does The Wife. I, on the other hand, adore coconut.

Did or do you pull Halloween pranks?

No, I’m not much of a prankster, although I do enjoy the occasional harmless joke that I always wait around to see how it goes and immediately claim responsibility for. Anonymously egging somebody’s house and stuff like that? That’s for idiots.

Do you believe in ghosts?

No, but that doesn’t stop me from wishing that I lived in a world with ghosts.

Are you superstitious?

No, but I do have the tendency to think superstitiously on occasion, before my rational side speaks up and says “Nyet, dummy!”

Do you like caramel popcorn?

I do, and courtesy of an amazing recipe that my mother was able to pry from the reluctant fingers of a lovely woman she used to work with before she passed away (the woman, not my mother), I make caramel corn that just rocks. However, caramel corn snacks that come prepacked in plastic bags tend to be pretty uniformly disappointing, except for the “gourmet” kinds that show up at Christmastime in large plastic tubs and usually include nuts and cranberry raisins and that sort of thing in the tub.

Those popcorn balls that are always out there? Bleech.

Have you ever gone in the country to look for pumpkins?

As noted elsewhere, we go to an attraction called Pumpkinville every year. Of course, that’s a commercial pumpkin ranch, which is necessary because it’s very hard to hunt pumpkins in the wild anymore. Throughout the twentieth century we constantly encroached on the lands on which the wild pumpkins once roamed, and now, they can only be grown in captivity. Chalk up another natural tragedy to the conquering of the World by Man.

Have you ever been on a hayride?

Yes. I love a good hayride, and the one at Pumpkinville is never long enough for me.

Do you decorate your home for Halloween?

No, but every year I want to and don’t get around to it. I don’t do nearly enough seasonal decorating, in my opinion.

Have you ever been to a haunted house?

No, either real or feigned-for-the-purpose-of-entertainment.

Have you ever been to a graveyard on Halloween?

No. Maybe I should.

Have you ever attended a Halloween party?

Only one, when I was in college. (At least I think it was a Halloween party – it might have just been a normal costume party.) It was for people in the music department, so everyone had to come in a music-related costume. I went as our college’s oboe teacher, whom I was told I bore a passing resemblance.

(Huh, how ’bout that Internet! Here’s the guy in question. I don’t see the resemblance, myself, but then, I wasn’t always long-haired and bearded, either.

Do you watch scary movies on Halloween?

No, not really. I tend to enjoy reading horror more than watching it, for some reason. I’ve seen relatively few horror films.

Have you ever had your candy stolen from you?

No.

Did you ever steal any ones candy?

You know, if there is a Hell, and if there really are levels in Hell which are assigned accordingly to dastardly people on a heirarchical basis owing to what their evil deeds in life were, then it wouldn’t surprise me if the level devoted to people who steal stuff from children, including candy, is below the level where former dictators of Middle Eastern countries are ensconced.

Has anyone ever gotten hurt due to your prank?

I don’t do Halloween pranks, as noted above, and any jokes I do are the non-hurtful ones. So no.

Have you ever dressed as a witch/warlock?

No.

Are your parents into Halloween?

Not especially, so far as I know.

Interestingly, I never went trick-or-treating again as a kid after first grade. We moved to a town in second grade that, as I recall, didn’t do trick-or-treating at all (my memory could be faulty on this point, though), and after that, I decided it was more fun to just sit at the door and hand out candy to trick-or-treaters (because I would basically sit and eat candy right out of our own bowl). And when we moved to WNY, we lived in a house that was not in much of a “neighborhood” for trick-or-treating purposes.

The most hellish Halloween I’ve ever experienced, though, was Halloween of 1997, which fell on a Friday night. That was my last Halloween working for Pizza Hut, and because we got flooded with calls for delivery, I had to go out on the road despite the fact that I was a shift manager. On that night we told every customer who called that we were running longer than usual delivery times because of both the unusual level of volume and the fact that we ordered all of our drivers to exercise very high levels of caution what with all the kids out and about. Somehow, on that night, I managed to have to deliver to every customer who was a complete jerk about this (one guy actually said to me, “I don’t give a shit about those kids if my pizza’s cold), and I had to deliver to every customer who ordered that night who wasn’t participating in Halloween, which meant that I had to approach nothing but houses that had all their lights shut off in order to ward off the kids. (This, of course, made it incredibly hard to figure out which house I was going to at all, since when the lights are off, you can’t see the street numbers on the houses at all.) And tips that night, for me, were a complete disaster. The other drivers that night were making a killing, so how I managed to get to deliver to every jerkweed hick moron in Olean, NY, I’ll never know. By the time I got off work that night I wanted to punch something.

So, how were all of your Halloween experiences?

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The years of my life (in music and movies)

So there’s this meme-thing percolating about in which you go through and pick your favorite album from each year you’ve been alive up to the present; I’ve been kicking that around for a while, long enough that now you’re supposed to do the same thing with movies. So, I guess I’ll combine them into one single post, although I won’t be picking exactly favorites, but things I’m very fond of from each year. (A few may be favorites, though.)

A key resource here is Wikipedia’s Years in music and Years in Film articles. In each case I’ll list an album first, followed by a movie. For albums, though, these aren’t necessarily albums I own, since the lists are heavily skewed to pop and rock. Rather they’re albums with which I am at least fairly familiar. And for the movies, just to make things a bit more interesting, I will not do the extremely obvious and pick the Star Wars movies released in 1977, 1980, 1983, 1999, 2002, or 2005. OK? OK!

1971

Tapestry, Carole King
The French Connection (I almost named Harold and Maude, which I saw for the first time just last week…I’ll be commenting on that film soon.)

1972

Hot August Night, Neil Diamond
The Poseidon Adventure

1973

The Dark Side of the Moon, Pink Floyd
American Graffiti

1974

Rush, Rush
The Three Musketeers (Tough choice here!)

1975

Born to Run, Bruce Springsteen (chosen after a coin flip; the loser was ABBA by, well, ABBA.)
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (GAHHH! This year was tough!)

1976

Boston, Boston
Rocky (I haven’t seen much from that year, apparently)

1977

Bat Out of Hell, Meat Loaf
Saturday Night Fever (If you haven’t seen this, and you think it’s just camp disco fluff, see it. It’s one of the most cynical and bleak films I know.)

1978

Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack (It’s got “How Deep Is Your Love” on it….)
Superman (still the best superhero movie ever made…but that could change very soon now, with what I’m hearing about The Dark Knight….)

1979

The Wall, Pink Floyd
Time After Time (Just a terrific movie! I almost picked Moonraker, just because that was the first Bond movie I ever saw.)

1980

Flash Gordon, Queen
The Blues Brothers (Cheating, I guess, since I’ve only seen it in bits and pieces but lots of times, so I’ve probably seen well over eighty percent of it but I can only vaguely stitch it all together in my head into a whole movie.)

1981

Face Value, Phil Collins
Raiders of the Lost Ark (Had to go with this. No contest.)

1982

Nebraska, Bruce Springsteen
TRON

1983

Sports, Huey Lewis and the News (yeah, I liked these guys.)
Brainstorm

1984

MCMLXXXIV, Van Halen (DLR’s swan song with the band)
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension

1985

No Jacket Required, Phil Collins
Back to the Future

1986

Invisible Touch, Genesis (One of my favorite albums ever. Almost went with 5150 by Van Halen; I refuse to choose between DLR and Sammy. Both were terrific for different reasons.)
Laputa: Castle in the Sky (I had no idea the movie was that old)

1987

The Joshua Tree, U2 (Not a huge U2 fan, but I really like this album)
Broadcast News (“I’ll meet you at the place by the thing where we met that time” is one of my favorite movie lines ever. That, and “A lot of alliteration from anxious anchormen placed in powerful posts.”)

1988

Irish Heartbeat, Van Morrison and the Chieftains
Die Hard (even though I didn’t see it until it came out on video)

1989

Indigo Girls, Indigo Girls (I had a hard time with this year, and picked this because I remember liking them some years ago, but I haven’t given the Indigo Girls a second thought in a long time.)
The Abyss

1990

Reflections of Passion, Yanni (Shut up.)
Dances With Wolves

1991

The Silence of the Lambs, score by Howard Shore (I couldn’t pick anything from the album list)
Grand Canyon (Wow, that was a good year for movies…lots of titles on there I like a lot, so I picked this one randomly from the ones I like.)

1992

Unplugged, Eric Clapton
Unforgiven

1993

Tuesday Night Music Club, Sheryl Crow
The Fugitive (But this was a good year for movies! I nearly picked Jurassic Park or In the Line of Fire.)

1994

Live at the Acropolis, Yanni (I’m serious, folks. To this day I love this album.)
Legends of the Fall (I really think this movie is underrated.)

1995

The Tyranny of Beauty, Tangerine Dream (I used to really love TD, but I haven’t listened to them in a long time. They’re about due for a re-exploration, I think.)
Apollo 13 (Wow, there were a ton of good movies that year. I could as easily have picked Braveheart, Rob Roy, and a bunch of others.)

1996

Falling Into You, Celine Dion (Because, hey, as if my credibility wasn’t already circling the drain….)
That Thing You Do! (Did anybody besides me really like this flick? I remember mentioning it at work when it was out, and everybody in earshot went Ewwwww! What gives?!)

1997

Princess Mononoke, film score (Nothing on the pop list stood out for me…but I can’t believe it’s been that long since Pat Boone’s heavy metal experiment. I thought that was just a few years ago!)
Titanic (Yeah, yeah….)

1998

Shakespeare in Love (movie and score)

1999

Tears of Stone, the Chieftains
The Iron Giant

2000

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (score)
Almost Famous

2001

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (movie and score)

2002

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (movie and score)

2003

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (movie and score)

(OK, I know, that probably seems to be cheating, especially when up above I swore I would eschew the Star Wars movies on this meme-thing. Oh well. My blog, my rules!)

2004

Beyond the Sunset: The Romantic Collection, Blackmore’s Night (my first Blackmore’s Night album. This group rocks my world.)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

2005

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (score by John Williams. I didn’t say I couldn’t pick the score albums for the music portions of this quiz!)
Kingdom of Heaven

2006

The Village Lanterne, Blackmore’s Night (See?)
Casino Royale

2007

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (movie and score)

For the most recent years, I should point out that I tend to be quite behind-the-times as far as the latest stuff to come out. I rarely explore stuff as it happens, preferring to follow a few things I like a lot but in most cases allow a consensus to form as to what’s really worth my time. (And even then, I’ll often ignore that consensus anyway.)

So there you are: my life in music and movies, or something like that.

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Ewwwwww! (teevee edition)

I was going to do a lot of comment on the various EW lists that they’ve got circulating, but I think I’ll do this one last post and call it a day on that subject. (Unless anyone’s really dying to hear what I think of, say, the “New Classic Death Scenes” or something similar.) I’m just doing the teevee list now; I won’t be doing the music list because I own exactly five of the albums on that list. (For fun and kicks, try and guess which ones!)

Anyhow, here are my thoughts on the teevee list. (For comparison, check out SamuraiFrog. His teevee tastes diverge sharply from mine on a number of instances, but on others we’re in total sync. Which is what you’d expect, I guess.) I won’t be bolding anything; just the list plus comment.

1. The Simpsons

Yeah, it’s a great show. That’s granted. No, I’m not going to state what everybody already knows – that its greatest years are now far in the past (imagine, this show is going to reach a point next year where two full Presidencies will have elapsed since its strongest episodes aired), but it’s still pretty funny and of generally high enough quality to warrant continued watching.

2 The Sopranos

I never saw a single episode. I’ve long noted that my interest in mob stories is practically non-existent. Whenever I say this to people, the invariable response is “But it’s so good!” Well, I’m sure it is. I’m still not interested.

3 Seinfeld

I’m a huge fan of Seinfeld. I even liked the much-maligned ninth season, and I didn’t think the finale sucked that badly (although it wasn’t nearly as funny as it should have been, with that premise). One great moment after another, and lines that I still quote and have recognized when I do so.

4 The X-Files

I loved this show too. Did it go on too long? Certainly, but I don’t think its fall from grace happened nearly as early as everybody else seems to think. I loved the show’s production values, the character chemistry between Mulder and Scully, and all the little touches therein. I loved the impenetrable mytharc too, and the Monsters-of-the-week.

5 Sex and the City

(Never saw a single episode, not once. Although for obvious reasons there’s one episode I might have liked, had I seen it.

6 Survivor

I hate this show. I’ve only watched two seasons of it all the way through, because a couple of years back The Daughter decided that she liked watching the games on the beach, so we ended up watching it. (That was when Rupert was on, and then a season or two later when a guy named Terry went on this big streak of winning every challenge for weeks on end, only to fall short of the million bucks in the finale, losing to some dopey little jerkoff named Aras. I haven’t watched the show since.) I didn’t like how the show basically rewards people who are complete jerks for being able to be the biggest, sneakiest of jerks. The skill set that makes people contenders to win Survivor also makes them complete asses in real life; why root for an ass to win a million bucks?

7 The Cosby Show

I watched a handful of episodes, found it amusing enough, but was never a big fan. Although, I do recall one hilarious bit that had Cosby describing the most horrifyingly inept Little League game in history, “a game which was broken open on a grand-slam bunt”.

8 Lost

Meh. Lots of people wandering around a mysterious island, acting all mysterious and stuff. I’m not a big fan of JJ Abrams.

9 Friends

One of my favorite shows of all time, and I’m not apologizing for that, either. It should have ended a year or two earlier, but I think it’s actually become underrated. At its best it was as funny as anything I can remember on teevee.

10 Buffy the Vampire Slayer

This is continually high on my “get the DVDs and watch it one of these days” list. I saw a few episodes here and there and I was always impressed, but by the time the show came on my radar screen it had already been around for a few years and I just didn’t want to invest the time to get up to speed on a show that had a dense mythology behind it. But I really do want to watch the thing.

11 The Wire Never seen it; not a lot of interest, really.

12 South Park

I was a big fan for a while but then I just fell away from it. I didn’t stop liking it, I just gravitated away. I’m a little surprised it’s still around, though.

13 Freaks and Geeks

I really need to see this.

14 The Daily Show

I love it when I see it, which isn’t often.

15 The Oprah Winfrey Show

Meh. I’ve never understood how Oprah’s become the 800-lb gorilla of, well, everything.

16 Arrested Development

I always missed it during its brief stay on the networks because its time slot always coincided with either something else or The Daughter’s bed time. I’d like to see what the fuss was about.

17 The Office (U.K. Version)

I’ve seen a few episodes and liked it.

18 American Idol

OK, I’m still a fan. And I liked Taylor Hicks. And that clicking sound you hear is my readers now clicking the “Back” button on their browsers. (This season of AI was pretty disappointing, though.)

19 ER

When it was good, it was great. It had seven or so really terrific seasons, then a few years where it fell on hard times, and then it just started to downright stink. Two major events on the show made me start to lean away from it: the death of Dr. Romano (as horrifyingly bad a moment as I’ve ever seen on a scripted teevee show, from a writing standpoint), and the resolution of the Reese Benton custody battle. But I hung in there a few more seasons anyway before I finally admitted that the show was a shell of its former self, with old interesting characters replaced by boring new ones; increasing reliance on the stunt-casting of older notable actors as “terminally ill geezers of the month” (always in time to provide epiphanies to whichever cast regular was in most need of an epiphany at that moment); lazy shit like the “Let’s send some other character for a life-changing stint in Africa!”; and so on. Ensemble shows are hard to keep going over the course of many years, even if, as in the case of ER, they’re designed to allow for the rotation in of new ensemble members to replace old ones. New characters have proven interesting (Dr. Pratt, for example), but at times the cast has become so bloated that newer characters simply blended together, and in any case, no ER cast has ever had the same mix of chemistry that the original group did. ER is apparently ending this coming season, but it should have ended five or six years ago.

20 Beverly Hills, 90210

Never watched it.

21 Roseanne

I hated this show. I never once found it funny, and to this day, when I catch it in reruns, I still fail to laugh.

22 The Real World

I watched three seasons: LA (season two), San Francisco (season three, the one with Pedro and Puck), and London. Then I pretty much stopped. I liked the show well enough, but I finally got irritated with that little doofus from the London cast, the playwright kid, who spent all of his five months in London sleeping. Dude, you’re in London. WTF?! (The other American guy, the one who was befuddled because he couldn’t find Ranch dressing in London, was pretty amusing for a while.)

23 The West Wing

It was my favorite show for a while. The first two seasons and a chunk of the third were brilliant, but then Aaron Sorkin started to peter out. Season Five had a couple of strong episodes and a lot of “Meh” episodes, but the last two years seemed to figure things out again.

24 Star Trek: The Next Generation

Ahhh, I loved me some TNG! We always watched it in college, with the new episodes on Sunday nights and re-runs the rest of the time. Quite a bit of it doesn’t hold up quite as well nowadays, but quite a lot of it holds up damn well indeed.

25 Miami Vice

I watched an episode or two. I didn’t get it.

26 Chappelle’s Show

Huh? Don’t know it.

27 Law & Order

Not a big fan. I tend to see an episode a year, and I’m good.

28 The Larry Sanders Show

Heard good things, but never saw it.

29 The Shield

Ditto.

30 Late Show With David Letterman

I love Letterman, although I don’t watch him often anymore at all because it’s hard for me to stay up that late. I’ve always liked his off-kilter sense of humor. True, he was probably funnier ten years ago than he is now, but so’s anybody.

31 The Civil War

I never watched this, mainly because I’ve never been terribly interested in the Civil War. I know that it’s a period of history that commands immense fascination for many people in America, but it leaves me cold. (Civil War enthusiasm also seems to run hand-in-hand with Confederacy fetishism, which is always something that confuses me since the Confederacy was, by definition, treasonous.)

32 Gilmore Girls

I never watched it, but I’ve been told repeatedly that it’s very well written, so I want to check it out one of these years.

33 My So-Called Life

I adored this show, even as ambivalent as I was about my own high school experience. MSCL was brilliant work, but even though it’s better remembered now for its single, nineteen-episode season, I tend to view it as a dry-run for the deeply brilliant Once and Again that would come along six years later.

34 24

I saw seasons Two and Three, and I haven’t much bothered since then. I admire the show’s production values, but from what I hear the last couple of years the writing has suffered. I also find the Jack Bauer fetishization that you see in the commentary of the political Right in this country astonishingly creepy. “Jack Bauer has to torture people!” goes the refrain. But I’d like to see a show that details what everyday life in Jack Bauer’s America would be like after the country has witnessed nuclear terrorism, a President declining to run for a second term after a scandal, his successor dying aboard Air Force One, his successor being removed from office after criminal activity, the assassination of that first President after he’s left office, and the rise to power of that first President’s own brother. I think the country would be really messed up if that stuff all happened.

35 CSI

I used to be a big fan, but kind of fell by the wayside the last couple of years. The original show’s the best, but the one I watch faithfully now is CSI: Miami, mainly because I like looking at Emily Procter and Eva LaRue, and because I derive enormous entertainment pleasure from David Caruso’s overacting and posing. It also featured my single favorite “Oh, bulls***!” moment in CSI crime investigations: in one episode, the killer had taken a photo with his finger partially covering the lens; they were able to resolve that smudge into a readable fingerprint. Yeah, right. This last season ended beautifully, though: since the iconic image of the show is Horatio Caine putting on his sunglasses, they did a cliffhanger where Horatio is shot on an airport runway, and as he’s lying on the ground bleeding profusely, the camera pulls back away from him…and through the broken lens of his sunglasses!

36 thirtysomething

Never saw it, but want to, seeing as how it’s by the same creative team as My So-Called Life and Once and Again.

38 Beavis and Butt-head

I loved it and found it terribly funny. Thing is, there really are kids like this in our schools. Kids who aren’t really dangerous, who don’t pose much of a threat to anyone, but who also just aren’t ever going to amount to anything much at all and who don’t really care about that either. Their antics can be hilarious, as this show demonstrated. My favorite episode had the boys participating in their school’s fundraising candy sale; they have to sell candy bars for two bucks each, but they don’t want to do the legwork to sell these things, so their elegant solution is to sell candy bars back and forth to one another for the same two dollars. That cracks me up just to think about it.

39 Six Feet Under
40 Mr. Show

I don’t know either of these.

41 Frasier

I loved this show for a long time, too. I think it went on too long, but I don’t think it slid into badness the way so many shows that outlive themselves do; it just kind of settled into a bit of routine for its last two or three seasons where it was dependably amusing but never as good as in its earlier years. Still, it provided many, many wonderful moments in the time it had, and I do think it went out on a very strong note, with Frasier’s romance with Laura Linney and one of the best series finales I’ve ever seen.

42 L.A. Law

It was a really good show for a few years, and then it started to bog down, much in the same way that ER did: cast bloat, interesting characters swapped for not-interesting ones, increasingly bizarre storylines, and one of the most staggeringly awful moments in teevee history (the death of Rosalind Shays, of course). I hung with it until the end, but man, was that last season bad.

43 Late Night With Conan O’Brien

I see it so rarely that it doesn’t even make sense to discuss it. I have a DVD of highlights from it around somewhere; I should watch that one of these days.

44 Jeopardy!

Yeah. Ken Jennings? I coulda taken him. I know this because on at least twenty of the seventy-eight nights (or however many there were), from the non-studio lit and no-audience and no-cameras friendly confines of my living room, I whipped his ass!

45 Curb Your Enthusiasm

Never saw it.

46 Homicide: Life on the Street

I watched a couple of episodes and was uniformly underwhelmed. It felt like BaltimorePDBlue to me.

47 30 Rock

I’m not sure if it’s been around enough to be a “new classic”, but it’s one of my favorites of shows on now. Not only do I think Tina Fey is one of the cutest women on the planet, but I think it speaks greatly of her that this, her big moment on teevee as a creative force, cheerfully makes her the butt of many, if not most, of the jokes. (Contrast with the same season’s Studio 60, in which Aaron Sorkin created a monument to Aaron Sorkin.) I actually wrote a bit of rant here first, having misread the title as 3rd Rock from the Sun, which I didn’t like very much.

48 Ally McBeal

Bleeccchhhh! I hated this show, as I tend to seriously dislike anything David E. Kelley does. I don’t like his writing.

49 Twin Peaks
50 Baywatch
51. Melrose Place

Didn’t watch any of these.

52. Felicity

More “Meh” from the pen of JJ Abrams.

53. Will & Grace

Funny for a season or two. After that, just shrill and repetitive.

54. Moonlighting

I never understood the fuss over this show.

55. Pee-wee’s Playhouse

Or this one.

56. Desperate Housewives

I actually liked the first season. Everything since was dull, and I stopped watching entirely last year.

57. The Amazing Race

My current favorite reality show! My only wish is that they’d put in a new rule that when you get to a locale, you are forbidden to get locals to either drive you to your destination, ride with you to show you the way, or drive ahead of you so you can follow them. Had this been the case, there’s no way the loathsome Dustin-Kandace duo would have ever been near-winners twice on the show.

58. The Tonight Show With Jay Leno

I like Letterman better. I also found it appalling that The Tonight Show was Arnold Schwarzenegger’s forum of choice for announcing his gubernatorial run.

59. Battlestar Galactica

I’ve got to see this. I was highly impressed with the pilot TV movie.

60. Xena: Warrior Princess

Snore.

61. The Office

Also not sure if it’s a classic already, but I sure like it. But how much of that is Jenna Fischer’s presence? Hmmmm.

62. House

Like it. New classic? Dunno, but I like it.

63. Mystery Science Theater 3000

Loved it, once I figured out what the concept was. Like everybody, I spent a year channel-surfing past MST3K and wondering why these crappy movies were always on with these shadows in front.

64. The Osbournes

Never watched it.

65. Family Guy

I hate this show. The only times it’s made me laugh were in moments involving the evil-plotting baby; everything else is stupid Simpsons retread crap.

66. Grey’s Anatomy

Now here we have the opposite problem with ensemble shows: the ensemble isn’t big enough, which led this past season to some real dramatic constipation on the show. They added two new characters of consequence, but that wasn’t enough since they only replaced another character who’d already left for spin-off heaven. I still think that Grey’s beats the pants off ER right now, but I can see it seriously falling from grace if it doesn’t add some spice next year. They’ve been playing the same storylines for too long now.

67. Planet Earth
68. Jackass
69. The Colbert Report

I’ve never seen these. Colbert’s on too late.

70. Everybody Loves Raymond

Now, it was often a very funny show. It really was. Its characters were quirky and played off each other in fun ways, and the cast had real chemistry which helped. But the show was just a well-done sitcom. Maybe it stands out because it was just about the only traditional sitcom that was being done well (aside from Friends) in the time it was around. When it went off the air (it too had a well-done finale episode), someone on a message board I wrote described it was “the show that changed the sitcom forever”. That could only be uttered by someone who’d never seen any other sitcoms before.

71. Friday Night Lights

Never watched it.

72. NewsRadio

Obviously it wasn’t as good after Phil Hartman’s death. But then, my favorite character was always Stephen Root as the owner of the station. Maura Tierney was also a standout.

73. Oz
74. Wiseguy
75. Project Runway
76. In Living Color

Never watched these.

77. The Golden Girls

Ick. Never liked it.

78. I’ll Fly Away

Saw it occasionally in college. Nice, but forgettable. The cute blonde girl would later do a couple of seasons of ER, which ended when a crazy patient stabbed her to death.

79. The Comeback

Never even heard of this.

80. King of the Hill

I think this show is underrated, or was in its prime. I haven’t seen a new episode in several years.

81. Murphy Brown

Funny for a while, then became boring.

82. The Hills
83. Absolutely Fabulous

Never saw them.

84. Northern Exposure

It took me a while to figure this show out. The Girlfriend (later The Wife) loved it, so I watched it by proxy, but it really took me a season or two to get into it. Then I loved it.

85. The Kids in the Hall
86. Prime Suspect
87. Deadwood

More in the “never watched” category.

88. Malcolm in the Middle

Now this was a funny, funny show in its first few seasons. I fell away from it after a while, but it was a favorite for a while. It had this habit of being mildly amusing for most of an episode, with one truly inspired moment that would make the entire show.

89. SpongeBob SquarePants

Weirdly amusing, in my opinion. I can totally understand why some people hate it.

90. Dawson’s Creek

Crap. Total crap. Kevin Williamson’s writing annoys the hell out of me.

91. Mad Men
92. The Ben Stiller Show
93. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

Yet more that I never watched.

94. Married…With Children

Meh. Amusing, but not great.

95. Designing Women

Didn’t like it.

96. The Arsenio Hall Show

This was very popular in college; it was always on at that timeslot in the dorm lounges. I don’t remember why.

97. Party of Five

Aside from letting me look at Neve Campbell, I don’t remember much about this show.

98. MacGyver

This was silly, silly fun. Years ago The Girlfriend (later The Wife) and I visited The Future In-Laws at their home, and I discovered that The Future Sister-In-Law was so big a fan of MacGyver that she could, using the satellite dish, watch the show for four consecutive hours on weekday afternoons, on teevee stations from all over the country, and she often did. (BTW: xkcd from the other day. Heh!)

99. The Bachelor

Stupid, stupid, stupid crap, this is. Remember when everybody was in vapors over FOX’s one-off Who Wants to Marry a Multi-millionaire? Well, now The Bachelor is in its eighth year or something like that. WTF?

100. Saved by the Bell

Oh, come on. Just because we all watched it because TBS had it on for two hours solid each day during the mid-1990s, when we were all being slackers because it was cool to be slackers and all, and thus because of that we all know who Zack Morris and Kelly Kapowsky are, doesn’t make it a great show. Watch it now, and try telling me it’s not complete crap. I dare you. I double dare you!

So Saved By the Bell is on the list. But not Once and Again or Firefly? NYPD Blue? Scrubs? Millennium? What about cooking shows? Like him or hate him, Emeril Lagasse’s shows put Food Network on the map in large part, and Alton Brown’s show is really good. This list stinks.

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Ewwwwww!

So Entertainment Weekly has made two lists: one is a list of its Top 100 movies of the last twenty-five years, and the other does the same thing with books. You know the drill: the ones I’ve seen or read are in bold, with occasional comment. (However, a couple of provisos: yes, I’d include the Star Wars prequels, so sod off, haters. And as T & C point out, the list excludes The Shawshank Redemption, which is well-nigh inexplicable.)

1.Pulp Fiction (1994) (Wouldn’t be my best, but I’m not going to quibble.)

2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-03)
3. Titanic (1997)
4. Blue Velvet (1986)
5. Toy Story (1995) (Come now. It isn’t even the best Pixar movie; this is absurdly high to put this movie.)

6. Saving Private Ryan (1998) (Again: come on, now. It’s just not that good a movie once the Normandy stuff is past. And with all due respect to T & C, the film’s construction seems to strongly imply that we’re dipping into Ryan’s memories. The whole bit at the beginning with him walking through the graveyard isn’t even necessary; nor is the coda.)

7. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
8. The Silence of the Lambs (1991) (I consider it a great film; a lot of its atmospherics set the stage for horror filmmaking in the 90s and beyond.)

9. Die Hard (1988) (One of the iconic action movies, obviously. I haven’t seen it in a long time.)

10. Moulin Rouge (2001)
11. This Is Spinal Tap (1984) (I can’t believe this is almost twenty-five years old.)

12. The Matrix (1999) (Meh. It was really cool the first time I saw it, but I liked it less each time I watched it after that. I tried once to watch The Matrix Reloaded and I fell asleep.)

13. GoodFellas (1990) (I really do think this is overrated, and that it wasn’t robbed at the Oscars.)

14. Crumb (1995) (This looks fascinating; I’d love to see it.)

15. Edward Scissorhands (1990) (A sentimental choice for me, since this movie was what The Girl I Thought Was Cute saw on our first date. She would later become The Girlfriend, then The Fiancee, and then The Wife.)

16. Boogie Nights (1997)
17. Jerry Maguire (1996) (I heart Cameron Crowe, as I’ve long established. I may have mentioned this before, but I saw this movie in a theater in Buffalo, and since it came out just a handful of years after the Cowboys beat the Bills in two straight Super Bowls, the shot during the big game at the end of the Cowboys coach glowering actually got a cheer from the audience.)

18. Do the Right Thing (1989)
19. Casino Royale (2006) (This seems a bit quick to anoint as a classic, but it’s such a good movie that I’m not going to complain.)

20. The Lion King (1994) (I know, I just said this the other day, but I’m starting to suspect this movie of being wildly overrated.)

21. Schindler’s List (1993) (Superior to Saving Private Ryan in every way.)

22. Rushmore (1998)
23. Memento (2001)
24. A Room With a View (1986) (I think this is the only Merchant-and-Ivory movie I’ve seen. I watched it during the last week of summer vacation before my junior year of high school, after a guy I’d met at music camp two weeks before had told me that this movie “made him want to fall in love”. And yeah, it did. Haven’t seen it in years, though.)

25. Shrek (2001)
26. Hoop Dreams (1994)
27. Aliens (1986) (Meh. Again, The Abyss is a much better movie.)

28. Wings of Desire (1988)
29. The Bourne Supremacy (2004)
30. When Harry Met Sally… (1989) (A favorite of mine.)

31. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
32. Fight Club (1999) (I don’t like this movie, but I can’t find anything wrong with it. It’s simply not my cup of tea.)

33. The Breakfast Club (1985) (This was a staple in college.)

34. Fargo (1996)
35. The Incredibles (2004) (I don’t grok this as much as some others, but it’s a fine, fine film.)

36. Spider-Man 2 (2004)
37. Pretty Woman (1990) (Really? Last time I watched it, I came away a bit disappointed.)

38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) (Ah, yes. I need to watch it again.)

39. The Sixth Sense (1999) (I figured out the “twist” halfway through, but mainly I suspect because of an unplanned intermission when the film broke and I had five minutes to think it through.)

40. Speed (1994) (Or The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down….)

41. Dazed and Confused (1993) (I need to see this.)

42. Clueless (1995)
43. Gladiator (2000) (I want to see this, kinda-sorta. I loved Kingdom of Heaven.)

44. The Player (1992)
45. Rain Man (1988)
46. Children of Men (2006)
47. Men in Black (1997) (Really? It was a clever enough comedy, but was it that good?)

48. Scarface (1983) (I see this on a lot of “great movie” lists, and everyone I’ve met who has watched it tells me it stinks. Odd.)

49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) (Wow, I need to watch this all the way through one of these days.)

50. The Piano (1993)
51. There Will Be Blood (2007)
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988)
53. The Truman Show (1998)
54. Fatal Attraction (1987)
55. Risky Business (1983)
56. The Lives of Others (2006)
57. There’s Something About Mary (1998)
58. Ghostbusters (1984)
59. L.A. Confidential (1997)
60. Scream (1996) (One of the more disappointing movies I’ve seen. It can’t be taken seriously as horror, and it’s not funny enough to rise to the level of clever spoof.)

61. Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
62. sex, lies and videotape (1989) (Wow, did this movie ever flummox the small-town Lutherans I watched it with in college!)

63. Big (1988) (OK, when did this become a classic? I bet nobody remembers this movie if not for the “Chopsticks” scene.)

64. No Country For Old Men (2007)
65. Dirty Dancing (1987) (I’ve seen parts. Meh.)
66. Natural Born Killers (1994) (I saw this and admired it, but I’m not sure it’s a classic or anything. It’s not even the best Oliver Stone movie from this period, and none of those appear on this list.)

67. Donnie Brasco (1997)
68. Witness (1985) (Should be higher. I hope Harrison Ford finds this level of inspiration again one day.)

69. All About My Mother (1999)
70. Broadcast News (1987) (I haven’t seen this in far too long! I really loved it.)

71. Unforgiven (1992)
72. Thelma & Louise (1991)
73. Office Space (1999) (They said I could play my radio at a reasonable volume.)

74. Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
75. Out of Africa (1985)
76. The Departed (2006)
77. Sid and Nancy (1986)
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
79. Waiting for Guffman (1996)
80. Michael Clayton (2007)
81. Moonstruck (1987)
82. Lost in Translation (2003)
83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
84. Sideways (2004)
85. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005) (The Bollywood ending had me on the floor.)

86. Y Tu Mamá También (2002)
87. Swingers (1996)
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) (A friend at work and I like to express our mutual frustration by quoting this movie. “Come on, people! Throw me a frickin’ bone here!”)

89. Breaking the Waves (1996)
90. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
91. Back to the Future (1985)
92. Menace II Society (1993)
93. Ed Wood (1994)
94. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
95. In the Mood for Love (2001)
96. Far From Heaven (2002) (I just checked this out of the library, and will report back.)

97. Glory (1989)
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
99. The Blair Witch Project (1999)
100. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)

So, there are the movies. Omissions? I’m not sure what I’d knock off, but I’d include Apollo 13, Braveheart, The Shawshank Redemption, The Karate Kid, The Abyss, The Iron Giant, Stand By Me, Misery, Platoon, JFK, Nixon, and the in-my-opinion-criminally-underrated Dolores Claiborne.

As for the books:

1. The Road , Cormac McCarthy (2006)
2. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, J.K. Rowling (2000) (Sorry, but Prisoner of Azkaban is the better book.)

3. Beloved, Toni Morrison (1987)
4. The Liars’ Club, Mary Karr (1995)
5. American Pastoral, Philip Roth (1997)
6. Mystic River, Dennis Lehane (2001)
7. Maus, Art Spiegelman (1986/1991) (Sheer genius.)

8. Selected Stories, Alice Munro (1996)
9. Cold Mountain, Charles Frazier (1997)
10. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, Haruki Murakami (1997)
11. Into Thin Air, Jon Krakauer (1997)
12. Blindness, José Saramago (1998)
13. Watchmen, Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons (1986-87) (What else is there to say?)

14. Black Water, Joyce Carol Oates (1992)
15. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Dave Eggers (2000) (Liked it but didn’t quite get the fuss.)

16. The Handmaid’s Tale, Margaret Atwood (1986)
17. Love in the Time of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez (1988)
18. Rabbit at Rest, John Updike (1990)
19. On Beauty, Zadie Smith (2005)
20. Bridget Jones’s Diary, Helen Fielding (1998)
21. On Writing, Stephen King (2000) (God, yes. What a book. I’ve worn mine out and need to get a new one.)

22. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Junot Díaz (2007)
23. The Ghost Road, Pat Barker (1996)
24. Lonesome Dove, Larry McMurtry (1985)
25. The Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan (1989)
26. Neuromancer, William Gibson (1984)
27. Possession, A.S. Byatt (1990)
28. Naked, David Sedaris (1997)
29. Bel Canto, Anne Patchett (2001)
30. Case Histories, Kate Atkinson (2004)
31. The Things They Carried, Tim O’Brien (1990)
32. Parting the Waters, Taylor Branch (1988)
33. The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion (2005)
34. The Lovely Bones, Alice Sebold (2002)
35. The Line of Beauty, Alan Hollinghurst (2004)
36. Angela’s Ashes, Frank McCourt (1996)
37. Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi (2003) (Another wonderful work; I like that EW is open to graphic novels.)

38. Birds of America, Lorrie Moore (1998)
39. Interpreter of Maladies, Jhumpa Lahiri (2000)
40. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman (1995-2000) (Only the first book; I’m not sure I’ll ever make it a sufficient priority to read the second and third. Nothing against Pullman’s message, but that first book just didn’t excite me to the point that I want to read the rest of the trilogy.)

41. The House on Mango Street, Sandra Cisneros (1984)
42. LaBrava, Elmore Leonard (1983)
43. Borrowed Time, Paul Monette (1988)
44. Praying for Sheetrock, Melissa Fay Greene (1991)
45. Eva Luna, Isabel Allende (1988)
46. Sandman, Neil Gaiman (1988-1996) (I haven’t read the entire thing yet.)

47. World’s Fair, E.L. Doctorow (1985)
48. The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver (1998)
49. Clockers, Richard Price (1992)
50. The Corrections, Jonathan Franzen (2001)
51. The Journalist and the Murderer, Janet Malcom (1990)
52. Waiting to Exhale, Terry McMillan (1992)
53. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Michael Chabon (2000) (I thought this was wondrous from start to finish.)

54. Jimmy Corrigan, Chris Ware (2000) (Gotta read this – I’ve owned it for six years now.)

55. The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls (2006)
56. The Night Manager, John le Carré (1993)
57. The Bonfire of the Vanities, Tom Wolfe (1987)
58. Drop City, TC Boyle (2003)
59. Krik? Krak! Edwidge Danticat (1995)
60. Nickel & Dimed, Barbara Ehrenreich (2001) (It told me what I already knew, but too many people don’t know and worse, don’t care.)

61. Money, Martin Amis (1985)
62. Last Train To Memphis, Peter Guralnick (1994)
63. Pastoralia, George Saunders (2000)
64. Underworld, Don DeLillo (1997)
65. The Giver, Lois Lowry (1993)
66. A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again, David Foster Wallace (1997)
67. The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini (2003)
68. Fun Home, Alison Bechdel (2006)
69. Secret History, Donna Tartt (1992)
70. Cloud Atlas, David Mitchell (2004)
71. The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, Ann Fadiman (1997)
72. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, Mark Haddon (2003)
73. A Prayer for Owen Meany, John Irving (1989)
74. Friday Night Lights, H.G. Bissinger (1990)
75. Cathedral, Raymond Carver (1983)
76. A Sight for Sore Eyes, Ruth Rendell (1998)
77. The Remains of the Day, Kazuo Ishiguro (1989)
78. Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert (2006)
79. The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell (2000)
80. Bright Lights, Big City, Jay McInerney (1984)
81. Backlash, Susan Faludi (1991)
82. Atonement, Ian McEwan (2002)
83. The Stone Diaries, Carol Shields (1994)
84. Holes, Louis Sachar (1998)
85. Gilead, Marilynne Robinson (2004)
86. And the Band Played On, Randy Shilts (1987)
87. The Ruins, Scott Smith (2006)
88. High Fidelity, Nick Hornby (1995) (I just read this last week!)

89. Close Range, Annie Proulx (1999) (I’ve read one of the stories within this collection, and I’ll write about that story sometime soon.)

90. Comfort Me With Apples, Ruth Reichl (2001)
91. Random Family, Adrian Nicole LeBlanc (2003)
92. Presumed Innocent, Scott Turow (1987)
93. A Thousand Acres, Jane Smiley (1991)
94. Fast Food Nation, Eric Schlosser (2001) (I have a feeling this would also tell me what I already know.)

95. Kaaterskill Falls, Allegra Goodman (1998)
96. The Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown (2003)
97. Jesus’ Son, Denis Johnson (1992)
98. The Predators’ Ball, Connie Bruck (1988)
99. Practical Magic, Alice Hoffman (1995)
100. America (the Book), Jon Stewart/Daily Show (2004)

Not much to say there, I suppose. I need to read more, obviously. But from what I’ve heard, The Da Vinci Code isn’t actually a good book, so why is it here? Just because it was the mega-bestseller of the year back when? I obviously haven’t read enough of these to offer serious criticisms of this list, but one book I’d have in my list is Neal Stephenson’s Cryptonomicon. Come to that, no great SF or fantasy has been written in the last twenty-five years? I think not.

And with that, I think I’m caught up on lists for now. Bring on the quiz-things!

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Movies of Lists, Lists of Movies….

SamuraiFrog, Tosy and Cosh, and Tom the Dog have both commented on this, and I must, of course, follow suit. Last week was the annual American Film Institute teevee show, when they present a list of Top X Movie Whatever’s. This year they picked several genres and named the top ten movies in each genre. As always, the point of the show isn’t to present some kind of iron-clad canon of film, but just to drum up interest in the movies. If people watching these shows say, “Hmmm, I should watch that again/for the first time”, then the show has done its job. For that reason I never really get mad at the AFI’s selections; the only one that’s ever really bugged me is when the “100 Years, 100 Romances” list omitted Say Anything.

So, here are their lists. I’ve bolded the ones I’ve seen and sprinkled my own comment throughout.

Animation

Well, right off the bat we’ve got a bit of a problem. “Animation” isn’t a genre, really; it’s a film medium. Within the confines of animation you can do SF, romance, fantasy, anything. But we can still talk about the best animated movies, right?

1. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)

I won’t quibble with the placement, although I personally wouldn’t call it the best animated movie ever. But it’s just as iconic as this placement suggests, and it’s interesting to watch it now and try to imagine Disney today doing something quite as dark as Snow White. (Yes, it’s a dark film. There’s some very disturbing stuff in there, amongst the funny stuff with dwarves and the Handsome Princes and whatnot.)

2. Pinocchio (1940)

Again, a movie with lots of darkness. (Hardwick’s metamorphosis into a donkey is as horrific a scene as you’ll find in a movie.) I’ve always loved Pinocchio.

3. Bambi (1942)

OK. I love this movie too.

4. The Lion King (1994)

Unlike SamuraiFrog, I like this movie a little bit less each time I see it. Oh, it’s definitely very good, but there are things about it that don’t hold up well for me. I don’t care for Matthew Broderick’s voice work, I find a lot of the climax contrived, and some of the exposition stuff at the beginning is pretty dull. There isn’t a subtle moment in this film, and there are moments that could have benefited from a less heavy hand.

5. Fantasia (1940)

Yes, it’s a mixed bag, but I really do love it. The main weak part is the Beethoven Pastoral Symphony.

6. Toy Story (1995)

Yes, it’s a really good movie. And it launched Pixar as a force to be reckoned with. But still, I don’t think it’s the best Pixar film, so putting it here, ahead of them all?

7. Beauty and the Beast (1991)

This is the best film of Disney’s Silver Age, in my opinion. It’s far better than The Lion King.

8. Shrek (2001)

Hmmmmm. See, I really like this movie. I also really like its first sequel, and I didn’t hate its second sequel (although that one was, admittedly, a pretty tired film). I guess I’m OK with it being here, with its riffs on fairy tales and legends.

9. Cinderella (1950)

I love this movie; I just love it. The animation is some of the best to ever come out of Disney (the bit where singing Cinderella is mirrored in the soap bubbles is visual invention of the highest order, and to animate those mini-Cinderellas so they’re identical is great). But you know what? I love Peter Pan more.

10. Finding Nemo (2003)

Pixar’s best film, for me. I’m not sure I can name anything wrong with it. (Well, OK, Disney couldn’t pony up to license the Bobby Darin version of “Beyond the Sea”, choosing instead a cover version that’s the same anyway? There, I found fault with Finding Nemo.)

What’s missing, then? Well, the most glaring omission is clearly The Iron Giant. I’ll second SamuraiFrog’s nomination of The Secret of NIMH, and I’ll throw in The Last Unicorn, to boot. And really, I’m not one to completely slag a lot of Disney’s non-Pixar output after The Lion King. Some of it isn’t terribly good, but I still think that The Emperor’s New Groove is an absolute classic.

Fantasy

1. The Wizard of Oz (1939)

I loved this movie as a kid. And then, as a more jaded teenaged dork, I hated it. And then as a college dork getting in touch with my inner kid again, I loved it again. And there I’ve stayed ever since. It really is a terrific film, terribly wise in its outlook and full of humor and imagination. (I quoted one of the Wizard’s lines in my written eulogy for Little Quinn.)

2. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Now, I have to ask something here. The AFI’s lists salute American films, but by what standard is LOTR an American effort? Because New Line’s an American company? That’s pretty weak tea, if you ask me. If we can consider LOTR, then the entire animation category has to thrown open to Hayao Miyazaki and the rest of the anime geniuses. But fine.

Anyway, why not do the right thing here and consider the trilogy as a whole? (Although, if I have to pick a stand-alone, I’d go with The Two Towers. But I wouldn’t pick a stand-alone.)

3. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

Meh. I’m not a fan of this movie.

4. King Kong (1933)

Yeah, it’s quite good. ‘Nuff said.

5. Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

I’m cheating a bit by including this: the one time I saw it I was in second grade and I don’t remember much about it at all.

6. Field of Dreams (1989)

Oh, hell yes. No explanations for the strange events in Ray Kinsella’s corn field, just total complete faith in it all. It’s a great movie. (By the way, it wasn’t made into a movie, but in a similar vein is W.P. Kinsella’s novel The Iowa Baseball Confederacy, which posits an exhibition game in 1908 between the Chicago Cubs and a semi-pro Iowa team that lasted something like a hundred innings and was the longest baseball game ever played – except that nobody remembers it ever happening.)

7. Harvey (1950)

8. Groundhog Day (1993)

Yes, it’s fantasy. And yes, it’s a terrific movie.

9. The Thief of Bagdad (1924)

I’ve never seen the silent one. The one from the 1940s with Sabu is wonderful, though.

10. Big (1988)

Gahhhh. Didn’t like this movie. I suspect that if you take out the bit with the piano keyboard on the floor, the movie isn’t remembered nearly as well.

So what would I consider for the Fantasy list? Well, since we’re including movies of questionable country of origin (not that the countries are questionable, just the notion of what makes an “American” film or not), I’d include Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The Princess Bride is pure fantasy. And some superhero movies may fall into this category, no? Superman or Spiderman 2 are fantasies, in my book. Excalibur (not American, but then, we’re stretching the definition of an “American” movie already).

Science fiction

Of course, with these two categories, we end up in the classic old debate about what the dividing line is between SF and fantasy. Enough ink, both real and cyber, has been dropped on this topic over the years that I’m not about to add anything earthshaking about it, except to reiterate my view that the best definition of SF is probably “SF is whatever I point at when I say, SF”.

1. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

I’d have it on the list. Best ever? For me, that would be…

2. Star Wars (1977)

Oh yeah! Without this movie I wouldn’t be me. (Which might not be the worst thing in the world, but still.) I admit that I’m rather horrified by the notion gradually mustering around this movie — that it stinks too, and that only TESB is any good at all.

3. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

Lots of people these days gripe on Spielberg for “Daddy issues”. I personally don’t care. This is a great movie.

4. A Clockwork Orange (1971)

Meh. It’s not my cup of tea.

5. The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)

Great stuff, really. I like this movie a lot. I haven’t seen it in a long time – I should rectify that soon.

6. Blade Runner (1982)

As with SamuraiFrog, I say Meh. I wrote about Blade Runner some time ago, if you really want to know my thoughts on the film.

7. Alien (1979)

Sorry, but I hate the Alien franchise. SamuraiFrog makes the interesting point that he sees it more as a horror film than an SF film, but it’s really both. SF’s kind of like “animation”: it’s such a widely defined thing that you can do anything in it at all, really. But as for this movie, I hated it. And its first two sequels. I never bothered with anything Alien related after that.

8. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

I love both Terminator movies, really. (No, there was no third. That’s a ridiculous notion.)

9. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

10. Back to the Future (1985)

I love this movie too, although I’m not sure I’d put it in the Top Ten SF movies. For one thing, I’m not sure it’s SF. Sure, it’s got a mad scientist and lots of made-up technobabble about how the time travel works, but that’s complete BS, isn’t it? The main working definition here seems to be: “It’s fantasy when you wave your hand to make something impossible to happen, and SF if you push a button to make something impossible happen.” (Which still doesn’t help in the case of Star Wars, where both happen.

So what didn’t make the cut here? Close Encounters of the Third Kind is a glaring omission. Twelve Monkeys is great SF. I’d include The Abyss, which always gets unfairly overshadowed by the overrated Aliens. Forbidden Planet and Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea. Total Recall, and, yes, Robocop. (Hell, make it a Peter Weller two-fer and throw in The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension.)

(SamuraiFrog suggests The Right Stuff, but that’s not SF at all. It’s a historical film about the early days of the American space program.)

Sports

1. Raging Bull (1980)

2. Rocky (1976)

Yes, it’s a great movie. The second one’s OK. It all goes downhill after that. (I never saw the sixth one, though.)

3. The Pride of the Yankees (1942)

4. Hoosiers (1986)

Yes, it’s good. I’m not sure it’s that good, but it’s really good. (Its score is wildly overrated, though — the Goldsmith freaks out there tend to worship this one, but to me, it’s just pleasant Americana.)

5. Bull Durham (1988)

One of my favorite movies ever. I love the dialogue, the humor, the little baseball touches. (And to me, the only acceptable response to hearing someone talk about what they’re going to get someone for a wedding gift is: “Well, candlesticks always make a nice gift. Or we could find out where they’re registered and get ’em a place setting or two. Alright, let’s get two!”)

6. The Hustler (1961)

Didn’t see it, although I did see the sequel (The Color of Money), which I liked. I was never offended that the sequel ends before the big confrontation match; I didn’t think it mattered.

7. Caddyshack (1980)

Well, duh! Great comedy (if only tangentially a sports movie). I got to make a reference to this movie once at The Store: we found a large beehive in the ground underneath one of our shrubs, and a manager suggested that we blow it up with a stick of M-80. I countered, “I am not re-enacting Caddyshack with a bunch of bees!” Luckily, he got the reference.

8. Breaking Away (1979)

I’ve seen it, but not in many years – more than twenty – and I don’t remember much about it at all.

9. National Velvet (1944)

10. Jerry Maguire (1996)

Yes, the movie holds up very well – in fact, with the money and personality cults in sports getting more and more prevalent, it’s even more relevant now.

What else is there? Well, I personally loved Tin Cup, although all the golfers I know are unanimous in their hatred of it. There’s White Men Can’t Jump, which finally clarified for me why I don’t like watching basketball: the game looks better in slow motion. I’ve always found Major League really funny, and I loved how Will Ferrel’s Blades of Glory skewered figure skating. And while it might be stretching the concept of “sport” a bit, Searching for Bobby Fischer is a magnificent film.

Western

1. The Searchers (1956)

Yes, it’s a great movie. But I don’t want to see it again.

2. High Noon (1952)

3. Shane (1953)

4. Unforgiven (1992)

This was when I realized that Clint Eastwood is a genius. It really is a great film.

5. Red River (1948)

6. The Wild Bunch (1969)

7. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)

One of the great first hours in movie history. Unfortunately, it’s followed by a second hour that’s pretty much “Meh” until the very last scene.

8. McCabe and Mrs. Miller (1971)

9. Stagecoach (1939)

My parents dragged me to see this in a revival when I was in high school. I owe them for that, as I would probably never have seen it otherwise. It’s great.

10. Cat Ballou (1965)

Crikey, I need to see more Westerns. I’m still unapologetic in my love for Dances With Wolves (more here). Silverado‘s good. Legends of the Fall is a Western, isn’t it? I think it is, although that might stretch the definition a bit. And I’m not sure it’s a good movie, but The Quick and the Dead is fun to watch.

Gangster

Well, here’s a genre of films that doesn’t typically excite me. I just don’t care for Mob stories in general.

1. The Godfather (1972)

One of these years I need to watch this all the way through so I can see what the fuss is about. But I keep not making it a big priority. (I like SamuraiFrog’s assertion that the only reason the AFI did a Gangster category was so that they could talk about The Godfather again. It does get mentioned every year, doesn’t it? Maybe next year’s show should be “100 Years, 100 Whackings” and be done with it.)

2. Goodfellas (1990)

One of filmdom’s great Shibboleths of recent years is that this movie got robbed at the Oscars (it lost to Dances With Wolves). Personally, I don’t see it. Yes, it’s a very good movie, but I don’t share the enthusiasm about it that everybody else feels. I watched it once, I liked it a lot, and…we’re done.

3. The Godfather, Part II (1974)

4. White Heat (1949)

5. Bonnie and Clyde (1967)

6. Scarface: The Shame of a Nation (1932)

7. Pulp Fiction (1994)

One of my favorite movies ever. Unlike SamuraiFrog, I do think it’s a gangster movie; the gangsters are different types, that’s all, and the point-of-view is restricted to those who have to carry out the gangster’s bidding.

8. The Public Enemy (1931)

9. Little Caesar (1931)

10. Scarface (1983)

I haven’t even heard of Numbers 8 or 9 above. Is Michael Mann’s Heat a “gangster” movie? Maybe they should call this the “crime” genre? In that case we could include Dirty Harry. I dunno; I’m just not that into this whole genre.

Mystery

1. Vertigo (1958)

It annoys me that I haven’t seen this. The score is amazing, though.

2. Chinatown (1974)

Sure. Terrific movie.

3. Rear Window (1954)

Another one my parents dragged me to in a revival in the 1980s. Another one I owe them. What a movie this is! I watched it on teevee with The Wife last Thanksgiving, if I recall correctly. It’s still awesome.

4. Laura (1944)

5. The Third Man (1949)

On first glance I thought this said The Thin Man, the first in that series of wonderful mystery-comedies featuring Nick and Nora. And then I read the title correctly, and realized, no, I haven’t actually seen this.

6. The Maltese Falcon (1941)

Nothing I can say. Great stuff.

7. North by Northwest (1959)

Almost my favorite Hitchcock movie.

8. Blue Velvet (1986)

9. Dial M for Murder (1954)

This actually is my favorite Hitchcock movie. I think it’s absolutely terrific.

10. The Usual Suspects (1995)

Yuck. I hate this movie. It could have told a fascinating story about interesting criminal characters brought together for a heist and played off those characters in neat ways, but instead, we got the colossally stupid “Who is Keyser Soze?” bullshit. Since I figured out who Soze was within two minutes of first hearing the name mentioned, I spent the rest of the movie glowering at the screen.

Again, what’s a “mystery” and what isn’t? Is The Silence of the Lambs a mystery? Maybe, maybe not. The Fugitive is a mystery, at least in part.

Romantic comedies

1. City Lights (1931)

2. Annie Hall (1977)

3. It Happened One Night (1934)

4. Roman Holiday (1953)

5. The Philadelphia Story (1940)

There’s something wrong with this movie. I just have no idea at all what it is. Maybe it’s too good? Yeah, that’s it! (Loved it.)

6. When Harry Met Sally… (1989)

One of my favorite movies ever. Crackling dialogue, and it gets its job done in ninety minutes without any filler. (And if you want to see how essential good editing can be, watch the deleted scenes, which are awful.)

7. Adam’s Rib (1949)

8. Moonstruck (1987)

9. Harold and Maude (1971)

10. Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

OK, yeah, I love this movie. I don’t think it belongs on this top ten, though; a really great movie would have figured out a way to have the Bill Pullman character not get, you know, screwed on Valentine’s Day. But still, I don’t think Meg Ryan has ever been more beautiful than she is here. So there.

Odd that I consider romantic comedies to be one of my favorite genres, and yet, I’ve seen so few of the films the AFI listed here. I have my work cut out for me, obviously, but by way of other suggestions, I really love Cousins. Roxanne is wonderful, and they’re probably not eligible because they’re British, but I really adore Four Weddings and a Funeral and Love, Actually.

Courtroom Drama

1. To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)

Absolutely. (Note to self: re-read the book.)

2. 12 Angry Men (1957)

Also fine.

3. Kramer vs. Kramer (1979)

4. The Verdict (1982)

5. A Few Good Men (1992)

I love this movie, although I do concede the point that Roger Ebert made that the film shouldn’t have told us right before the big courtroom scene what Tom Cruise’s strategy was for questioning Jack Nicholson.

6. Witness for the Prosecution (1957)

7. Anatomy of a Murder (1959)

8. In Cold Blood (1967)

9. A Cry in the Dark (1988)

10. Judgment at Nuremberg (1961)

SamuraiFrog mentions Inherit the Wind, and I concur. I’d also add in The People vs. Larry Flint and JFK for consideration.

Epic

I’m not sure what an “epic” is; apparently they’re long and have lots of spectacle. That said:

1. Lawrence of Arabia (1962)

I really need to get off my arse and watch the entire thing. I’ve seen half of it. Ugh. I suck.

2. Ben-Hur (1959)

Ahhhh! What a great movie. I love this movie. Love love love it.

3. Schindler’s List (1993)

Both SamuraiFrog and Tom the Dog seem to question its epic status, but why not? It tells a pretty big story, involving lots of people, with a good deal of sweep and large set pieces. It’s an epic, in my opinion. (It’s also one of the very greatest films ever made.)

4. Gone with the Wind (1939)

I don’t like it. Sorry, but it’s dull and ponderous; all of the performances are overwrought; I watch the film in utter failure to understand why so many people are hanging on Scarlett’s every word; and I don’t fetishize the South as this movie does.

5. Spartacus (1960)

Another one I need to watch. (By the way, this is probably the single greatest unreleased film score in existence.)

6. Titanic (1997)

If Schindler’s List isn’t an epic, how is this? Its story takes place in less time and in a single location. But yes, it’s an epic. It’s also a great movie. Sod off, Titanic haters.

7. All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)

8. Saving Private Ryan (1998)

An amazing sequence (Normandy) that’s followed by two-plus hours of pedestrian crap. Sorry, but I really think the only reason this movie is so beloved is because it happened to come out right when “Greatest Generation” nostalgia was hitting its stride. (William Goldman’s critique is pretty much an exact statement of how I feel about this movie, except that I don’t even think the journey to Private Ryan is great stuff.)

9. Reds (1981)

10. The Ten Commandments (1956)

I’ve never much liked this movie. It’s overlong, overstuffed, overwritten, overwrought, and just plain over.

What “epics” did they miss? Braveheart is an obvious one, I think. And it probably doesn’t merit “Top Ten” status, but I really dig The Vikings.

And, as always, there we have it. Thanks, AFI!

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Page 123!

I’ve done this before, but now I’ve been tagged again, so here are the directions:

“To participate, you grab any book, go to page 123, find the fifth sentence, and blog it. Then tag five people.”

Hmmmm. OK, picking a book. Hmmm….OK, got one: Popular Alienation: A Steamshovel Press Reader. So, page 123…fifth sentence…got it.

Inslaw signed a contract with the Justice Department in 1982 to supply the software exclusively to all US Attorney’s offices.

This book comes from the mini-library of conspiracy theory books I assembled ten years or so ago, back when I was interested in such stuff. (I still am, really, but I’m not terribly active about it now.) What’s being discussed here? Why, the ever-fascinating Inslaw case, in which the Federal government may or may not have basically stolen software called PROMIS from a company called Inslaw, and this may or may not have been part of some kind of shadow government conspiracy that may or may not have had reporter Danny Casolaro murdered when he may or may not have come too close to the truth. Which is, of course, out there.

Spooooooky….

OK, now I’m to tag some folks. I don’t recall who I tagged last time (and I’m too lazy to look it up), so if I re-tag someone who has likewise already done this, oh well. Deal with it! So, I tag Drew, Blue Girl, The Indestructible Mr. Jones, Steph Waller, and Tom the Dog.

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100 Things I Love

OK, so a couple of weeks ago I did a list of 100 things that bug me. It’s time to take up the opposite end of that particular spectrum, which brings me to this: 100 things that make me all warm and fuzzy inside, like a little kitten. On Prozac. This list is in no particular order, by the way, and it’s most certainly not exhaustive. These aren’t the only 100 things I love! (We’ll also stipulate my loves of Berlioz, Rachmaninov, George Lucas, Star Wars, Tolkien, Guy Gavriel Kay, and Once and Again for the purposes of this list. Which means that none of those things will be cited here, because they’re more than “loves” for me: they’re things that shape who I am.)

1. The laptop on which I am writing this post. It’s a Dell Inspiron 1520, and I just adore the thing. It’s made my life so much cooler and niftier; I love being able to write at my actual writing desk with all of my books (well, quite a few of them, anyway) in easy reach, and I love being able to watch movies on a screen with really nice resolution, with my headphones on so I’m not exposing The Daughter to stuff like Pulp Fiction. I love being able to pack up my machine and go other places to write.

2. USB Flash drives. Wow, are these things ever cool. I want to get one of the 4GB ones, though; the three I already own are only 1GB.

3. Berries: strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, and my beloved blueberries.

4. It doesn’t happen nearly as often as it should, but there are few feelings in life more delicious in that horrible way than seeing the guy who aggressively passed you a mile back pulled over by a cop.

5. Reason #756 why I don’t understand why Buffalo’s been struggling for so many years: Unlike just about every other city east of the Mississippi, we watch the sun set over water.

6. Does it strike anyone else as odd that the Nobel Prize was never awarded to the person who thought to put chocolate chips into a cookie?

7. I used to dip a lot into the spiritual texts and scriptures of the world; I don’t do enough of that these days. The Bhagavad Gita; the Tao te Ching, the Tibetan Book of the Dead. In the Bible, the books of Ecclesiastes, the Psalms, the Song of Songs. The Gospels of John and Luke. I even have a Koran, although I’ve never read into it much at all.

8. I always enjoy the Monday morning after the Super Bowl, when I’m always able to truthfully say that I didn’t see the commercials. (And I never watch them, at least not intentionally. I use the commercials for the purpose God made them: to go to the bathroom and refill my drink and grab more chips.)

9. If I was forbidden to choose a specific ethnic food to eat at every meal for the remainder of my life, I’d almost certainly choose Chinese. If I was forbidden to eat Chinese food, I’d probably just stop eating entirely. Same effect, just faster.

10. The Daughter loves to make fun of this habit of mine, but I always smell my books. I really love the smell of paper and ink, in nearly all varieties.

11. But for all my love of Chinese food, where would the world be without pizza? Pizza, wonderful pizza, in all its forms. I feel such pity for those who rigidly adhere to the failed notion of One True Pizza.

12. I love the smell of The Wife’s hairspray.

13. Sleeping in a very cold room in a soft bed with lots of blankets makes me happy.

14. For sheer tactile pleasure, few things beat sliding into an icy cold bed and feeling one’s own body heat gradually taking hold under the blankets.

15. Of course, I’m a guy, which means I get a kick out of browsing Home Depot and other hardware emporia. Although I do wish they’d stock self-tapping finish head screws.

16. Audrey Hepburn? Yeah, I love her.

17. If I could, I would rely on candles for all my home lighting needs. Candlelight is beautiful, warm, and inviting. Candles are the stuff of romance.

18. Soft denim on bare skin.

19. The flavor of mint: in chocolate, in ice cream, in tea, on meat, in salads. I love mint.

20. It wreaks havoc on my hair, but I enjoy the fact that I have hair that blows out behind me in a strong breeze. I can get all Bravehearty about it. “FREEDOMMMMM!”

21. Cats are annoying, irritating freeloaders who demand food, get hair all over everything, poop at inopportune moments, and refuse to differentiate between the opening of a can of tuna and the opening of a can of, say, creamed corn. But I still love cats more than dogs. Go figure.

22. I love me some Get Fuzzy, although I do wish Satchel would get the upper hand more often.

23. I love spaceships in my science fiction. Dystopia? Fine. Utopia? Great. But I want spaceships.

24. If I had to go to Ollivander’s shop on Diagon Alley and pick out my wand before entering Hogwarts, I’m sure that my wand would take the form of a Klein Tools ten-in-one screwdriver. That thing makes so many jobs easier. (What are the ten? Two Philips tips, two flathead tips, two star tips, two squarehead tips, and two sizes of nut driver.)

25. I think recumbent bikes look incredibly cool. I want one someday. (I also need to start riding my bike to and from work one of these years, after I get off my arse and get a pair of saddlebags.)

26. Pie, in all its forms, is wonderful stuff. Nothing’s more satisfying in that “down home” way than a chicken or a beef pot pie. A good, large slice of apple pie, still warm, topped with high quality vanilla ice cream is as close as a dessert gets to heaven as is possible, I think. (Although I don’t get the “cheddar cheese on apple pie” thing.) I only eat one or two slices of pumpkin pie each year, but I always love that stuff, too. And, of course, cream pies, which can either be consumed as is or humorously applied to someone’s face. My favorite flavor? Coconut cream.

27. Firing up the grill on that first day in spring when it’s still pretty cold out, or firing it up on that day in mid-to-late autumn when it’s getting pretty cold out, and huddling over the charcoal fire as you turn the hot dogs or the sausages or the steaks. The colder the outside air, the better the grilled meat tastes.

28. Hayao Miyazaki, the great Japanese director of anime. His work is so chock full of wide-eyed wonder! I don’t know how he does it. When I look at the total output of his, I can’t help but think that he may well be the greatest living film director, period. (Although, admittedly, I have not yet seen Howl’s Moving Castle, which actually received mixed reviews, if memory serves.)

29. Cheese. Cold cheese, broken off in a jagged chunk and eaten as is; tiny pieces of parmeggiano regiano, sprinkled with balsamic vinegar; spreadable cheese on a grain cracker; brie at room temperature placed on a piece of small rye bread; cream cheese on a toasted bagel; melted cheese on a pizza or a pasta dish. Cheese is a miracle.

30. Globes. It doesn’t matter to me if a globe’s map is accurate or out of date; a globe is still a beautiful thing, and an out-of-date globe still serves as a testament to the way we once viewed our world. And it doesn’t even have to be a globe of our world, either: globes with star maps, or globes of Mars. In fact, I wonder why there aren’t globes of imaginary worlds out there? (Probably because there aren’t enough geeks like me out there who would find a globe of Coruscant something to seriously consider buying.)

31. Red wine, served with a slight chill. I like fruity and acidic wines, like Valpolicella. I like Zinfandel, the real Zin, wonderful red Zin. And, of course, Port. Port is terrific stuff.

32. I love walking on beaches as the waves roll in. I know, everybody loves walking on beaches as the waves roll in. But for me, it doesn’t have to be the ocean. I get that same elemental feeling walking along the shores of Lake Erie.

33. But as much as I love walking on beaches as the waves roll in, I think I love walking beside rushing streams or rivers even more. It’s the sense of journey that I like: the sea is such a big thing, something vast. But a river is just a road that’s been made for the water, and it can take you places. The sound of running water as the river’s current brings it across the rocks is one of nature’s holiest sounds.

34. As a former brass player, I would have been loathe to admit this at the time, but I’ve always adored the sound of a string instrument, well-played. Any string instrument, really, although if pressed to name a favorite, of the classical strings I’d choose the cello. The violin and viola are both capable of singing their hearts out, too.

35. Annie Lennox. I could listen to her voice until the end of my days. Having her sing at the end of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King was just the capstone of a staggering musical experience.

36. And as long as I’m on the subject, I’m not sure I could live without Howard Shore’s music for The Lord of the Rings. I had absolutely no idea that Shore had something like this in him when I learned he was the composer for the trilogy. But then, I had no idea that anybody had something like that in them.

37. Wall sconces that hold candles. I only own one of them, unfortunately.

38. Older women with long hair. Too often, when women head into whatever it is we consider “elder years” these days – for purposes of this post, to pick an arbitrary figure, over fifty – women tend to cut their hair short or make liberal use of curlers or something like that. There’s always something striking, though, about an older woman with a full head of long, silver hair. Or red. Or blonde.

39. Picking songs and pieces of music for mix CDs. I like to think I’m pretty good at this; my best effort, in my opinion, was a disc I made for my best friend last year when she was going through a very rough time at the same time that her birthday rolled around.

40. Poetry collections. I can’t imagine why people don’t read more poetry these days; poetry shows us what language can do. I wish I could write better poetry than I do. (Maybe I can, and it’s a matter of practice. I’ve written some free-form poems that I actually think work pretty well. It’s when I try to use a specific form that I want to rip my hair out by the root.)

41. Beautiful stationery and note cards. Giving hand-written cards is a pleasure that we don’t much indulge these days, sadly enough. I like to print my own cards sometimes, choosing my own art and doing the printing myself. But I also like finding beautiful fine arts cards in various places, both in real life and online.

42. The starship Enterprise, the movie version (NCC-1701 and NCC-1701A). Those are my favorite incarnations of the Big E. The Enterprise-D looked really awesome from some angles, but incredibly goofy from other angles; the Enterprise-E was a cool ship, but it always looked too “warship” for my tastes. The Enterprise and Enterprise-A got it right by making the ship graceful, like a seagoing vessel.

43. The Millennium Falcon. Duh. That ship’s unlikely to ever be dethroned as my favorite fictional spaceship of all time. What always makes me realize what great pilots Han and Lando are aren’t just the way they fly through hazardous situations like pursuit by Star Destroyers, asteroid fields, or the superstructure of the Death Star. What’s really amazing about that is that while nearly every other ship in Star Wars has a cockpit or bridge that’s in line with the center of the ship, the Falcon doesn’t. So when Han or Lando are flying that “bucket of bolts” in and out of trouble, they have to physically and mentally account for the fact that the entire bulk of the ship resides to their left.

44. Mucinex, with lots of sweet, sweet pseudoephedrine. That stuff has saved my life more than a few times. (Phenylephrine? Fuhgeddaboudit!)

45. Burgundy. Not the wine, the color. I like burgundy.

46. And hunter green.

47. And red.

48. And blue.

49. And yellow.

50. And pink.

51. And purple.

52. Black’s nice, too.

53. The first two seasons of The West Wing. Maybe Aaron Sorkin will one day return to the heights he scaled back then, even if some of the plots hinge on improbabilities: would Sam really not know that Leo’s daughter is a grown-up woman? Would a high-priced Washington call-girl really not know what POTUS means? Would a high-ranking member of the White House senior staff really disappear from her job so completely that nobody would ever mention her again? Would the entire White House senior staff really have encyclopedic knowledge of Gilbert&Sullivan?

54. Oh yeah, and on that subject, Gilbert&Sullivan. The Mikado, The HMS Pinafore, and The Pirates of Penzance are the only ones I know, really, but wow, are they fun to listen to.

55. The Simpsons and Futurama. I’m listing them together because they come from the brain of Matt Groening, who’s just a genius. Sure, The Simpsons isn’t as funny as it used to be, but it’s still funnier than just about anything else (including The Family Guy, which in my opinion is only interesting for the evil baby and the dog).

56. Creed. Not the band, but the background character on The Office, who is apparently living a life of crime or something. He only gets about thirty seconds of dialog per episode, but it’s always something funny.

57. Fireworks. Watching fireworks is a fine, fine thing. I just wish someone could make in real life the fireworks that Gandalf makes.

58. Footbridges and boardwalks. There are a number of parks in this area whose trails involve boardwalks and footbridges over water. I always find something pleasing about such things. It always feels to me like I’m walking through and over nature as opposed to trodding upon it.

59. OK, fine, you win, Twenty-first Century! I give in! I cry uncle! I love my cell phone. There, I said it. However, I don’t talk much on it because nobody much calls me.

60. Cookies! Chocolate chip cookies. Peanut butter cookies. Sugar cookies. Butter cookies. Oreos. White chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies. Toffee chip cookies. Russian tea cakes. Coconut macaroons. Oatmeal raisin cookies. Fudge stripe cookies. Maple sandwich cookies. Mint-flavored Newman-O’s. Gingersnaps. I adore cookies.

61. Sausages. I’m sure I’ll eventually find a kind of sausage that I don’t like, but so far, I haven’t: I’ve loved every one I’ve ever tried. (Although haggis may test me a bit. That is technically a sausage, isn’t it? Meat and spices inside a casing, in this case a sheep’s stomach?)

62. Saving Get Fuzzy for the very last thing I read in the Sunday paper each week, and reading Get Fuzzy first thing each morning when I’m getting ready for work. (Which I then immediately negate by reading For Better or For Worse; but then I negate that by reading xkcd.)

63. Matryoshka dolls are incredibly cool. I wouldn’t mind owning one of those giant ones someday, the ones that have twenty or more dolls nesting inside.

64. Jenna Fischer. She’s the first actress I’ve ever seen who actually manages to get me to use the worn-out phrase “the girl next door”.

65. The way I feel after working out. I love that feeling, both tired and energized at the same time.

66. OK, I suppose I’m at least partly a “typical guy” in the sense that I do occasionally compare my progress at the gym to that of some other guys I see there, and I love that I can lift more weight for more reps than several guys who are there all the time and who are always loudly conversing about their workout regimens and the proteins they eat and all that jazz. (And there are lots of other guys who make me look like a 98-pound weakling, of course. But I’ll catch them, too. Oh yes.)

67. Ivy. We have an ivy plant that was part of the flower arrangement my parents gave to us when The Daughter was born, almost nine years ago. The flowering part of that plant perished long ago, but the ivy remains, in two pots.

68. Eating outside in spring and summer.

69. The art of the pre-Raphaelite school in Great Britain, particularly the work of Arthur Hughes.

70. Emeril Lagasse. I know that it’s fun to hate on him and make fun of him for how much of a brand he’s become and his overuse of “BAM!”, but to be honest, I learned a lot about kitchen techniques from watching his show and I’ve never made a single recipe from one of his cookbooks that didn’t turn out wonderfully.

71. The Montana Rockies. It’s been years since I was there, but I always found the northern Rockies preferable to the ones in Colorado, even if the Colorado Rockies are higher.

72. Persian kittens. All kittens rock, obviously, but the Persians are just so adorable!

73. Popcorn. My favorite of all snacks! I tend to prefer it with butter, but we also love fresh kettlecorn with that salty sweetness it has, and I have a terrific recipe for caramel corn that I haven’t made in far too long.

74. Warm slippers on a cold morning.

75. Ms. Pac Man is still my favorite video game, however many years it’s been since I first played it. (Although there was a close second that I played a lot when I was in college, but I can’t remember the name of it for the life of me, so I can’t even search out an emulator program and a ROM to download so I could play it again. The premise was that you control a little guy whose job is to pop bubbles, using several implements like a gun that shoots strings of barbed wire straight up, which then anchor themselves into the ceiling of the game board or whatever. When you pop a large bubble, though, it pops into two smaller bubbles, which then each have to be popped into two smaller bubbles, and one more level thereof before they’re popped out of existence. And coming into contact with a bubble results in loss of life. Sounds easy, but on some of the upper levels, when there are more obstacles for the bubbles to bounce off randomly, it gets really difficult when you get sixteen little bubbles caroming all over the place. If that rings a bell with anyone, let me know! I got so good at this game in college that I was eventually able to defeat it on a single quarter.)

76. Few things bring out the “Gee whiz!” little kid in me in the way an elaborate model railroad layout does.

77. The astronomical paintings of artists like Jon Lomberg and Adolf Shaller, many of which formed the visual backdrop for Carl Sagan’s Cosmos. Artists like these do so much to convey the awesome majesty of our immense universe.

78. Long drives without predetermined destination. I have a feeling these will become more and more of a luxury in the future, but oh well. Maybe increased transportation costs will lead to increases in local manufacturing, too. (Hey, I can dream.)

79. Shrimp. If there’s a way to prepare shrimp such that I don’t like them, I have yet to find it. Remember Bubba’s list of the ways to prepare shrimp in Forrest Gump? That little monologue always makes me hungry.

80. I love opening old books at the library and finding things tucked into the pages. Most times it’s an old printout from the library with due dates and such, but sometimes I find someone’s grocery list or research notes. And other times, I can get a glimpse into a life that’s long over.

81. I love William Shatner, and his spiritual heir, David Caruso.

82. I love answering machines, coupled with my epiphany several years back that there’s no real reason why I should ever answer a ringing phone. Off went the ringer, and thus peace returned.

83. Sharp knives, clean pans and a full fridge. (Note to self: get the knives sharpened.)

84. Fountain pens are wonderful old-school instruments that yield all manner of pleasure in their use. I don’t get to use mine enough these days…but I’m finally getting used to writing on a computer screen, after however-many-years of vacillating between typing and writing longhand.

85. Of course, living in Buffalo, I cannot help but love chicken wings. My favorites are the traditional Buffalo wings, usually ordered “Medium” (or a notch below, if I’m having wings at Duff’s); but I do enjoy “non-traditional” wing preparations. I like to cook them on the charcoal grill and baste them in barbecue sauce so the sugars in the sauce burn and get all crunchy. I like the garlic wings at the Quaker Steak and Lube (a Pennsylvania chain that has a location in Erie, and they’ve just opened in Syracuse, so maybe we’ll get one here too one of these days).

86. I like to burn incense, especially the ones that smell of burning wood. I have a box of pine-scented incense cones that make Casa Jaquandor smell like a campfire.

87. I love to bury myself in warm blankets on a cold morning. All the better if someone else is with me.

88. The common scents and aromas of my life: coffee beans that have just been freshly ground; tea that’s just finished steeping; just about anything baking in the oven; the sawdust of freshly cut wood; the ink on the printed page; the spray from the orange as I cut through its peel.

89. Movie heroes: Inigo Montoya, Chihiro, Ashitaka, San, Kiki, Rick Blaine, Ilsa Laszlo, Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Hector Barbossa, Captain Geoffrey Thorpe, James Bond, Indiana Jones, Philo Beddoe. (And many more.)

90. Movie villains: Ernst Stavro Blofeld, Belloq, Major Strasser, Captain Hector Barbossa, Davy Jones, The Sheriff of Nottingham, Nurse Ratched, Hannibal Lecter. (And many more.)

91. TV and movie lovers: Rick and Ilsa, Rick and Lily, Melvin and Carol, Jack and Rose, Ashitaka and San, Sam and Annie, Harry and Sally, Archie and Wanda, Josh and Donna, Mulder and Scully.

92. On long drive at night, especially in the midwest, you will sometimes find yourself driving for miles next to a train that’s running on a set of tracks parallel to the road you’re on. I always find something mildly romantic about this.

93. Sometimes I’ll start doing some writing in mid-to-late afternoon, and I’ll get fairly wrapped up in what I’m doing, so much so that I won’t realize until it’s been dark for quite a while that it’s gotten dark at all.

94. I dig the word “gotten”, even though I’m not sure it’s a word at all.

95. The characters from the books I grew up with: Taran and Princess Eilonwy and Lord Gwydion, Johnny Van Dixon and Professor Childermass, Lewis Barnavelt and Rose Rita Pottinger, Tom Dennis and John Dennis Fitzgerald, the Ingalls family.

96. I have a tendency to display an certain outward cynicism about life in general, but I think I inherited from my grandmother a certain unquenchable optimism. She was the kind of person who could look on a completely overcast sky, pick out a patch of clouds a little bit lighter gray than the surrounding ones, and on that basis announce with conviction that it was starting to clear up. And of course, rightly or wrongly in each particular case, it did eventually clear up, didn’t it? Reaching a better time turns out to be an exercise in patience and waiting, nothing more.

97. I love that there are two spacecraft right now, Voyagers I and II, that carry with them for all time a tiny snippet of the best that humanity has to offer, and that this spacecraft will likely outlast every single war or hatred that exists now on this planet.

98. Blogging and my six-plus-year outpost in Blogistan. I don’t blog as much as I used to, but this forum and the bloggers and readers with whom I exchange thoughts and ideas continue to enrich my life in ways that surprise me each day. I love to read missives from people all over: the substitute teacher in Illinois who struggles to reach the kids he’s thrown in with; the woman in Oregon who tries to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up (which seems to me a very healthy attitude to take when one is 50 years old); the freelance writer in Ohio who has since I started blogging become one of SF’s brightest new authors; the guy in Utah who geeks out with abandon; a computer programmer in Butler, PA who makes me wish I was more of a computer gamer; a woman in Oklahoma who always seems to be looking for something interesting instead of settling into dull routine; another woman from someplace else who approaches everything in life as an opportunity to learn something; a woman in New York City who blogs with her heart on such display that I always come away awed. There are so many more, as well, more than I can read in a day or even a week. And that’s saying nothing at all about the wonderful bloggers here in Buffalo, people whom I’ve actually met and come away liking all the more having done so, and it’s also saying nothing of the lurkers who come here once in a while and whose presence I only know by looking at my SiteMeter. I’ll never have big traffic here, I know, but I’m proud of the traffic that I do have, and I thank each and everyone of you for it.

99. Everybody.

100. You. You know who you are.

And there we have it: 100 things I love. Tune in next time for 100 things on which I have no opinion whatsoever!

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Quizzes

Wow, is this blog getting boring…I’m resorting to more quizzes. Hmmmm.

From SamuraiFrog comes a quiz with some odd spelling in progress. Sorry about the all-caps too, but that’s how it came to me. Anyway:

1) WHAT BOOK ARE U READING?

I’m progressing slowly through Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, which is a book to savor in small doses. I think it’s the literary equivalent of a box of very fine chocolates, so I’m reading it one chapter at a time. I’ll also have some other novel going on, although I haven’t picked one yet; it’ll probably be a space opera of some sort or another. I’m also reading Patricia Neal’s autobiography As I Am, on the recommendation of Sheila. I also need to return to my Moby Dick one-chapter-a-day plan one of these days. Maybe after I finish Strange and Norrell.

2) FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?

Hmmm. I enjoy Sorry! a good deal, although I haven’t played it in a while. I remember liking The Game of Life when I was a kid, but right now we don’t own that one. Maybe I’ll pick it up. I love chess, although I’m not any kind of master or anything.

3) FAVOURITE SMELLS?

Burning wood or incense. Candles. Pizza in the process of baking. A freshly poured glass of beer. Coffee. Vanilla.

4) WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?

The realization of just how powerless you really are, and the realization that the difference between the life you should be living and the life you are living isn’t very large — but for all that, the difference is also insurmountable.

5) WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN U WAKE?

“Oh, f*** this f***ing day, so I can just f***ing sleep some more.” And if waking up interrupts a really good dream, that same sentiment goes through my head with a lot more f***’s.

6) FINISH THIS STATEMENT—’IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I’D…

How much money is “a lot” of money? Enough to retire right now and live at least at the standard of living I’m at now? Or “decent winnings on Deal or No Deal” money? Maybe I’d buy a house on a nice piece of land with lots of trees somewhere in Orchard Park or East Aurora. Travel sounds nice, but we’re gradually making it a complete pain in the ass to go anywhere. Maybe I’d buy a car that gets the best mileage possible. And I’d probably buy some books.

7) DO U DRIVE FAST?

I can, at times, but generally I’m the guy who gets freaked out because I’m going eight or nine miles over the speed limit and still getting passed as though I’m the old lady on my way to pick up coffee cake for tonight’s bridge club.

8) STORMS–COOL OR SCARY?

Cool because of the scary.

9) WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?

A red Volkswagen Rabbit with a diesel engine. I liked that car, until the hood blew open while I was driving.

10) FAVOURITE DRINK?

Alcoholic? Rum, I guess.

11) FINISH THIS STATEMENT-IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD…

I have the time. I just use it badly.

12) DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?

You know what? If God came to me and said, “I will make it so that gas is back down to $1.50 a gallon, impose universal health care in the US, see that Bin Laden is captured, and get you a healthy raise for the exact amount of work you do now, if you just eat this bowl of broccoli”, I’d let the world stay as it is. If Satan were a food, he would be broccoli.

13) FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

Football.

14) ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?

I love it when this question shows up in these blog-quizzes, betraying their origins as e-mail quizzes! Anyway, SamuraiFrog nicely posts photos of women in various stages of undress, which is always nice.

15) WHATS UNDER YOUR BED?

I have no idea, but wow, there’s a lot of crap under there. Maybe it’s time to get rid of a lot of it.

16) MORNING PERSON OR NIGHT OWL?

I genuinely don’t know, so I live as though I’m both, which results in me being a drooling moron by week’s end. (Which explains why I don’t normally blog on Fridays; the results are usually not encouraging.)

17) OVER EASY OR SUNNY SIDE UP?

Scrambled, or in omelet form. I’m not a fan of either of these two preparations.

18) FAVOURITE PLACE TO RELAX?

Depends on the type of relaxation, I guess. I like sitting at my desk, or on the balcony reading, or in the armchair reading, or in bed, reading.

19) FAVOURITE PIE?

Hmmmm. Well, this would depend, I suppose, on the method of consumption, yes? Apple (with ice cream), or coconut cream.

20) FAVOURITE ICE CREAM FLAVOUR?

Coffee. Or mint chocolate chip. Or cookie dough. Or…you get the idea.

Sheila starts a post as follows: “I wish I had a lifetime supply of:”, and then a list of such items as pertains to her. What about me? Hmmm. I wish I had a lifetime supply of:

:: Yeungling Lager.

:: Gigabytes (or terrabytes, once we reach that point).

:: Candles of all sizes.

:: Green tea.

:: Printer paper.

:: Printer ink.

:: Mucinex.

:: Espresso roast coffee.

:: Mozzarella cheese.

:: Bratwurst.

:: Shampoo and hair conditioner.

Quizzes: the reason I still have a blog at all!

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