A teevee quiz!

From SamuraiFrog I get a quiz. Huzzah! Hooray, quizzes!

1. What is your favorite “Classic” TV show?

Star Trek.

2. What character from a “Classic” TV show would you like to be?

Dr. McCoy.

3. On which “Classic” TV Show would you have loved to have a walk-on role?

If I can’t be Dr McCoy, I’d like to be something else on Star Trek. Maybe a red shirt guy, and I could ham up a horrible death!

4. Can you remember a line you liked from a “Classic” TV show?

Of course I can! From the Star Trek episode “The Devil in the Dark”: “I’m a doctor, not a bricklayer!” And I’m always excited to tell people that “Quadrotriticale is a high-yield grain.”

5. Which TV doctor would you choose to remove your appendix?

Dr. McCoy wouldn’t have to remove my appendix. He’d give me a pill and it would go away.

6. Which TV doctor would you not let touch you with a 10- foot pole?

Morris on ER. Part of that show’s fall from grace came when they started morphing that guy from idiot screw-up to actual doctor. (More on why I stopped liking ER here.)

7. Which TV doctor/hospital would you choose for the best medical care?

Whatever hospital Dr. House works in, although I’d ask if he’s currently clean or if he’s hopped up on Vicodin again before I let them wheel me in the doors.

8. Everyone knows nurses run the hospital. Who was/is your favorite TV nurse?

Carol Hathaway on ER.

9. Do you consider yourself a “fan” of reality TV?

No. I like specific shows. I’m not drawn to genres in particular.

10. What’s your “can’t miss” reality TV show (or shows)?

The Amazing Race, Hell’s Kitchen. I also enjoy Undercover Boss somewhat, and Gordon Ramsay’s other shows, although most of those are of the “a little goes a long way” variety. I’ve become a Survivor fan, although I’m boycotting this season as long as Boston Rob and Russell are on. (One is gone, I’m told. I hate seeing these guys turn up like bad pennies every other season on these shows.)

11. What reality TV show do you suppose the devil plays on the TV in Hell as punishment?

I remember ten years or so ago when FOX was roundly pilloried for producing Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?. Now, The Bachelor is on, what, it’s ninth or tenth season? And I just can’t stand Dancing with the Stars.

12. If you were given a free ticket to be on any reality show, which one would you choose?

I don’t want to be on the show as a contestant (maybe), but if The Amazing Race ever had its pit stop in Buffalo, I’d love to be the person standing next to Phil on the mat saying “Welcome to Buffalo!” as teams arrive.

13. What shows would make up a perfect night of TV viewing for you?

8:00: The Big Bang Theory
8:30: How I Met Your Mother
9:00: Mike & Molly
9:30: 30Rock (although I’ve missed all of this season thus far)
10:00: Castle

14. What show(s) would you cancel without a moment’s hesitation?

Two and a Half Men.

15. Is there a show (previously canceled or just no longer airing) that you’d bring back, original cast and all?

Firefly, Once and Again

16. You get to create one show to put on the schedule, with any stars you choose. Who and what would it be?

Hmmmm. I don’t know, but it would involve Sela Ward as the captain of a spaceship.

17. Is there a game show (past or present) you think you would do really well on, as a contestant?

No. I’d get “OMG, the camera’s on!” syndrome. Or I’d be like those unlucky folks on Jeopardy! who can’t get the buzzer to work right. (But then, those game shows that Nickelodeon used to air – the ones hosted by that Mark Summers guy, the ones that invariably featured lots of pie-throwing – would have been up my alley, too.)

18. Is there a game show you think is the stupidest thing you’ve ever seen?

I find Million Dollar Drop really stupid. And I hated Weakest Link when it was on. The lady on that show was really creepy. (Yeah, she was just a character, but so what?)

19. Is there a game show you watch, but don’t like to admit to watching? (A guilty pleasure!)

Nope. I don’t believe in guilty pleasures, anyway. I only watch Jeopardy! sporadically now.

20. Who is your favorite game show host? Who is your least favorite?

Bob Barker was awesome! I actually remember quite a few “old school” game show hosts: Bert Convy, Bill Cullen, Jack Barry. Those guys were good. Oh, and Wink Martindale! Least favorite? I dunno…I guess the creepy lady from the afore-mentioned Weakest Link.

21. Who is your favorite (past or present) TV cop?

Wow, game shows to cops. Right now, Detective Kate Beckett on Castle. All time? There have been a lot of great cops! I guess I’ll go with NYPDBlue‘s Andy Sipowicz.

22. Which TV cop do you think was the most crooked, or the most inept?

Sheriff Roscoe P. Colltrane, I guess.

23. Which TV show had the best ensemble cast of police officers?

NYPDBlue was masterfully done, especially since it turned over its whole cast (except for Dennis Franz, the glue holding it all together) more than once.

24. You need to hire a bodyguard for yourself. Which TV cop do you choose?

Secret Service agent Ron Butterfield from The West Wing.

25. Who is your favorite stand-up comedian of all time?

George Carlin.

26. Which one could you do without? (Not your type of humor, or just plain stupid!)

Andrew Dice Clay. Ugly, idiotic humor that I hated. I wasn’t a Sam Kinison fan, either.

27. Which comedian do you think has gone on to have a great career aside from doing stand-up?

Either Steve Martin or Jerry Seinfeld, I suppose.

28. If you went to a comedy club on amateur night, and they gave you some jokes and a microphone, would you go onstage?

No.

29. Who is/was your favorite TV mom?

Carol Brady (The Brady Bunch), or Lily Manning (later Sammler) on Once and Again.

30. Was she a realistic mother, or more of a TV fantasy type?

The former, fantasy; the latter, realistic.

31. Which TV mom did you find the most unrealistic? Or if you’d rather: creepy – sappy – mean – you choose the adjective, and you name the mom.

Howard’s mom on The Big Bang Theory. But then, she’s pure comedic effect.

32. No disrespect to your dear old mum, but which TV mom did you think it might be neat to have as your own?

I never thought of teevee moms in this way. Seems weird.

33. What show would you like to see brought back for an hour or two episode, to see how the characters are doing now? (This should be a show that it might be possible to do a reunion on.)

Once and Again. Firefly. The West Wing. Friends. And I’d love to know what happened with Frasier Crane’s following of the Laura Linney character on Frasier.

34. Pick a show that could not realistically be brought back for a reunion, because some or all of the cast members are gone. What if they could have done a reunion before it was too late? Name the show you’d most like to see.

I’m not sure, honestly.

35. Which reunion show have you watched and thought “Wow, they should have left that one alone!”

I can’t recall any reunion shows.

36. Which do you prefer- a “reunion” episode of the series, or a “cast reunion” where the actors sit around and talk about the making of the show?

Depends on the show, I suppose. If it’s been so many years that the characters are geriatric, then the latter, I suppose. Like the Happy Days reunion of a few years ago.

37. What is your favorite TV theme song?

Actual song with lyrics: The Big Bang Theory. Theme music without lyrics: Star Trek Voyager. (Wonderful theme for an ordinary show.)

38. Which song drives you crazy enough to hit mute on the remote?

That salsa-thing for Dancing with the Stars. Ugh.

39. Which song are you proud to say you remember (most of) the lyrics to???

It’s not a matter of pride, really, but I do know all the words to the theme from The Brady Bunch. As you might expect.

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