Thank you, O governmental protectors of my morality!

The ABC television network is facing a fine of $1.4 million dollars because they aired a show that included several glimpses of a woman’s buttocks. When did this happen, you ask? When did ABC so brazenly endanger the morality of our nation’s children and general people with sticks in their butts? Why, back in 2003! Thank God George Bush’s FCC is on the case, because I’ve barely been able to function for the last five years, so scandalized was I when I saw those buttocks. Thanks, FCC! You guys have your fingers on the pulse!

But I’m gonna need a bit of clarification here, because there were a lot of buttocks shown on NYPDBlue (the show in question, which went off the air in 2005 after a twelve-year run). That show had lots of buttocks. I’d even hazard a guess that the percentage of NYPDBlue episodes that showed buttocks exceeds fifty percent, although I can’t be sure. How did this one episode draw the FCC’s ire? The article indicates that “a boy surprises a woman in the shower”, so maybe it’s that the kid saw the buttocks. Oh noes!

But I can’t get beyond the fact that the episode being fined aired five years ago. What the heck happened here? Was some FCC guy watching some DVDs of NYPDBlue and suddenly noticed buttocks for the first time? Anyway, I’m glad that the FCC is in the business of retroactive moral policing. Maybe they can finally start punishing CBS for all the shenanigans that used to take place on that filth-fest Smothers Brothers show.

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