In another world, not too far from this one, we’re celebrating our son’s 18th birthday.
In this world, we can only remember and wonder.


The official site of Kelly Sedinger: Reader, writer, photographer, and dreamer
Here’s a sad song about a relationship coming to an end. Gordon Lightfoot wrote “If You Could Read My Mind” about his own divorce, and the lyrics are shot through with the bitterness of a man who realizes that the woman he married is now almost a complete stranger:
I never thought I could act this wayAnd I’ve got to say that I just don’t get itI don’t know where we went wrongBut the feeling’s gone and I just can’t get it back
Confessional songs always have a tough path to walk: they have to convey the emotions and the heartache, but they always run the risk of going too far, either into “too much information” territory, or they somehow don’t go far enough, relying on clichés and too much easy language to make the point. Lightfoot’s lyrics for this song are interestingly complex: “If you could read my mind” itself, the way the song begins, conveys his desire for his wife to understand him, even though he later acknowledges that he can’t find his way back to how he used to feel.
What I love most about this song is the way the melody interplays with the lyrics. Lightfoot’s words make clear that there’s no way, the love is gone, it’s gone forever–but there’s something in the melody, the way it occasionally yearns upward, that feels like maybe Lightfoot doesn’t quite believe that the love is gone yet, even though he’s heartbroken that “he just can’t get it back”. The melody here deepens the lyrics and exposes them. That’s what a good song can do.
Here is Gordon Lightfoot with “If You Could Read My Mind”.
As my personal fashion style continues to develop, I continue to find appreciate not just for new styles of garments, but new fabrics as well. Denim, obviously…and more recently, flannel. But I’ve also been finding linen to my liking.
I thrifted these two shirts a few years ago. Both are made of linen, and I like both enormously:


More recently, I’ve purchased a couple new linen shirts from Etsy dealers. One is still in transit (there were some shipping snafus and errors, of which I am being forgiving since the seller is from Ukraine!), but I got the other a few weeks back. It’s the shirt I wore to the County Fair week before last, and I loved it. (I honestly thought I’d see more people in overalls that day, but alas! Just one or two. Though I did overhear a woman behind me saying to her date, “I used to have a train engineer hat just like that guy’s overalls!” I’m perfectly happy to provoke your nostalgia, y’all.)
Anyway, back to the linen shirt, which I (obviously) paired with a pair of vintage Lee hickory-striped overalls, which I chose because besides looking cool, hickory-striped denim tends to be lighter in weight than regular blue denim.

This material is super comfortable. I just loved this shirt! I stayed cool the entire day–the material is light and of an open-enough weave to allow good airflow through it. I found wearing this shirt on a nice summer day (albeit a cool and low-humidity one) very comfortable. I suspect I was more comfortable in my loose, air-flow encouraging outfit of long-sleeved linen shirt under a pair of overalls than a lot of other guys were in belted shorts and t-shirts. I know that we want to avoid cultural appropriation and all of that, but surely we could listen to what other cultures have to tell us–such as the idea that hot weather doesn’t mean tight cotton clothes and bare skin. (Here’s more on linen as a summer fabric.)
Anyway….







To sum up: Wear more linen, folks! You’ll be happy you did. Here endeth the lesson!
A very modern work today.
Karel Husa (1921-2016) was Czech by birth, being born in Prague. When he was just 33 he emigrated to the United States, where in addition to being a celebrated composer he taught for decades at Cornell University. Husa won the Pulitzer Prize for Composition for his third string quartet, and his piece Music for Prague 1968 is one of the most notable compositions for wind band of the latter 20th Century. Music for Prague 1968, in which the composer pays tribute to his own people in the face of Soviet aggression, was later transcribed for orchestra, whereupon it enjoyed greater success. Husa was a forward-thinking composer who employed wild dissonances and difficult melodic material, in addition to quotes from ancient works. He was also a great experimentalist with different sounds, as you’ll hear in this piece.
Today’s work is Apotheosis of this Earth, a 1971 piece that started for wind band and chorus, but was also later transcribed for orchestra. The work springs from Husa’s deep environmentalism. Here is the text of Husa’s own writing on the piece (credit):
The composition of Apotheosis of this Earth was motivated by the present desperate stage of mankind and its immense problems with everyday killings, war, hunger, extermination of fauna, huge forest fires, and critical contamination of the whole environment.
Man’s brutal possession and misuse of nature’s beauty—if continued at today’s reckless speed—can only lead to catastrophe. The composer hopes that the destruction of this beautiful earth can be stopped, so that the tragedy of destruction—musically portrayed in the second movement—and the desolation of the aftermath (the “postscript” of the third movement) can exist only as fantasy, never to become reality.
In the first movement, Apotheosis, the earth first appears as a point of light in the universe. Our memory and imagination approach it in perhaps the same way as it appeared to the astronauts returning from the moon. The earth grows larger and larger, and we can even remember some of its tragic moments (as struck by the xylophone near the end of the movement).
The second movement, Tragedy of Destruction, deals with the actual brutalities of man against nature, leading to the destruction of our planet, perhaps by radioactive explosion. The earth dies as a savagely, mortally wounded creature.
The last movement is a Postscript, full of the realization that so little is left to be said: the earth has been pulverized into the universe, the voices scattered into space. Toward the end, these voices — at first computer-like and mechanical — unite into the words “this beautiful earth,” simply said, warm and filled with regret…and one of so many questions comes to our minds: ‘Why have we let this happen?’”
Listening to this work several times over the last few days, I am reminded of Stanley Kubrick’s use of modern music (primarily Ligeti) in 2001: A Space Odyssey. The piece speaks of the industrialized destruction of our own habitat, along with the habitats of many others, and of the regret as our light slowly dies. It’s not an optimistic work, to be sure. But optimism is not always well-taken.
Here is Apotheosis of this Earth, by Karel Husa.
Our summers often pivot on two fairs: the Sterling Renaissance Festival, and the Erie County Fair, which we attended on Friday the 12th. (I would have posted about it sooner, but then that dumbassed virus showed up and put its feet on the furniture and drank from coasterless glasses and got crumbs over everything and was basically just a big asshole.) While The Wife was unable to attend Sterling because of her recent foot surgery, she was able to attend the County Fair, by virtue of a day-long scooter rental.
This year we were graced with probably the most perfect weather for the Fair we’ve ever had: it was clear with low humidity, there was a light breeze all day, and the high temperature was 72 or so. It was simply a perfect day for going to the Fair.
We had a mostly great day, though The Wife petered out quickly by the end (it was her first major long outing since before her foot surgery in June). There are some notable things from years past that aren’t there anymore, which does happen every year but seems more sadly common moving forward. The biggest thing I missed this year was the giant model railroad exhibit that used to always be set up in the Grange Building; hopefully that manages to return next year. Also, the lovely old building that used to house the woodcarving exhibits is entirely gone, having been demolished for safety reasons, which is a shame. The Fair is still a huge amount of fun and can easily kill and entire day, but it did feel–this year and last–a bit more wide-open, which is to say, a bit more empty. I’m hoping for rebounds in the future, but…who knows.
After reading lots of online complaining about prices, I have to report that while prices were up, they did not seem wildly up to me. I spent roughly what I usually spend in terms of food, plus a little. But I never got the sticker shock that I had at the Sterling Renfest when I saw that the turkey legs that were once $9 are now $16. They also rolled parking and admission into a single price, which eliminates the need for money handlers at the parking entrances and makes getting into the park that much quicker, but folks are complaining about that online too, for reasons I can’t fathom.
Here are some photos from our day at The Fair. I have more available in a Flickr album, if you like this sort of thing.












I’m already looking forward to the 2023 Fair!
I’m going to stop counting the COVID days after today, because I think it’s pretty much done. I’m back to work Monday, so…yay. I have a bad feeling about what my Inbox is going to look like when I get back, but that’s Monday’s problem. It’s still the weekend.
Because COVID struck me before I could get our week’s groceries (over time I’ve evolved into less of a “Buy it all in one trip” person and more a “a few things here, a few things there” person), we’ve been cobbling things together here and there. My mother was gracious enough to pick up a few items for us on her trips, and then on Thursday I decided that I would try The Store’s curbside-grocery pickup thing. Since we also needed a dinner plan, I also figured I’d use The Store’s curbside “meals to go” thing and order some sushi for The Wife and a pizza for The Daughter and I. Easy!
Except…I’d never done the Curbside Grocery Ordering thing before, and it turns out that you have to do it way in advance. Like, probably the day before. This makes sense, now that I think about it: someone actually has to run around the store and literally “shop” the order, which takes time, and there are only so many employees available to do that. So you place your order and pick a time slot at which time you’ll expect to go pick up your stuff. I went to make my order at 4pm last night, and found that we couldn’t pick up until today. Oops. Again, that’s on me for just not knowing how it all works.
We did get the pizza and sushi, though! Another funny item: when ordering the pizza on the app, when it got to the toppings, I wanted pepperoni and sausage on the whole thing, and banana peppers on half. The app asked me what side I wanted the peppers on: the left or the right! That struck me as a really weird question. Does anybody care what physical side that only-half topping is on? I thought back to all the really weird customer interactions I had at Pizza Hut, and I couldn’t remember anyone ever lodging a complaint about their toppings being on the wrong side. I’d have pithily said, “Well, flip it around and it’ll be right!”
Of course, a minute or two later I recognized what the app was trying to do: that’s the phraseology they came up with to allow for pizzas like “pepperoni and sausage on half, mushroom and onions on the other half”. So you would input the pepperoni and the sausage on the left, and the mushrooms and the onions on the right. Makes perfect sense, but sometimes you encounter things that are perfectly logical but phrased in ways you don’t expect and it takes a bit of thinking to catch up.
(For the record, I had them put the peppers on the right. Which they did!)
Anyway, now it’s Saturday: Farmer’s Market, a quick trip to our favorite local bakery, and we have to pick up our groceries. We also have to do laundry and I’m way overdue in vacuuming the upstairs. Oh, and writing! Gotta write. I’m on a streak, and you have to respect the streak.
And now, time to finish this coffee and attack the day. I close with a cat.

As of this morning, I am pretty much completely symtom-free. Huzzah! Unfortunately, as of this morning, according to the test I took when I got up, I am not yet COVID-free. Boo! I assume this just means that my immune system still has some work to do in escorting the hangers-on and the squatters off-premises. It’s a work-in-progress, and all that.
So the timeline was basically this:
Last Friday: Attended the Erie County Fair. Toward the end of the day, noticed a throat tickle and a bit of stuffiness. Attributed this to occasional seasonal allergies and being outside and not having drunk nearly as much water as I usually do.
Saturday: Started thinking, “Huh, this is starting to feel suspiciously like some kind of crud. Might wanna keep an eye on this.”
Sunday: Got up after a night of sneezing, coughing, and a mild sore throat. Thought, “Huh. This is definitely some crud. Better test. Oh look, COVID. Well, shit.”
Monday: This was when I felt the worst. Slept downstairs, and then when The Wife (who has tested negative this whole time, Huzzah!) headed into her home office for work, I went to our bed and crashed for several hours. The worst of the sneezing and coughing was this day. Even so, it never got worse than any other normal cold I’ve ever had. By dinner time on Monday, I felt noticeably better. (Oddly, the way my colds usually progress, when I’m starting to feel better is when I sound the worst to other people!)
Tuesday: Definitely on the mend, feeling significantly better. Much less sneezing and coughing. Also, by this point the usual cold-related brain fog is starting to dissipate, so I’m starting to really think about writing again. In fact, on Tuesday afternoon I opened Scrivener and actually did get some writing done:

Not the easiest 500 words I’ve ever done, but I got them down.
Wednesday: Back to, I dunno, we’ll call it 80 percent. And I got more writing done!

By the way, another milestone fell on Wednesday:

Yup. When I started writing Forgotten Stars V, I hoped to be somewhere near the book’s end around the 180K mark. That is not going to happen. As I’m writing now, I’m finishing up the Second Interlude before I write all of Act III. Ouch. More on that below….
Thursday: Feeling 90 percent normal! And the floodgates opened up:

Yup, yesterday was a really good day for writing. The goal now is to have more and more days like yesterday.
Also, I had planned our dinner on Sunday to be grilled chicken wings, but obviously the COVID arrival screwed that up. Last night, though, our desire for wings would not be denied. Because, in the immortal words of John C. Reilly in the comedy classic Stepbrothers, “But what if I want wings?”


The sauce, by the way, is The Store’s brand of Korean barbecue sauce. I love this stuff. Just love it. It’s got that sweet-and-salty Asian soy thing going on, and it’s gluten-free, so The Wife gets to enjoy it. And yes, All You Grillers, I do apply the sauce at the end of the cook and let it caramelize and char a bit. There’s a whole school of thought out there in which this is heresy and you never put sauce on (“if you use sauce at all, and why would you, that’s what rubs and pre-seasonings are for, you heathen!” as another sub-school of grillers would say) until the meat is at the table, but I disagree, and it’s my grill and my kitchen.
(Oh, I would never put sauce on a steak on the grill. Steak gets S&P and that’s it. After all, “S&P, the choice for me!”)
So now it’s Friday, which means my forced vacation is coming to an end. Now, I’m thinking a bit about how I use my vacation time. Because I only get a few weeks of it (though I’m a couple years out from earning more), I tend to stretch it out through the year on vacations that are mainly long weekends. The exceptions to this are if we happen to have an unusually lengthy trip planned, such as our Hawaii trek last December, but as a rule, I rarely take an entire week off. But having done so now, I’m kind of thinking…I might start doing so. Especially once I hit the four-week plateau.
And now, I’ve got Friday’s writing to do, and since I’ve got some momentum going, I’m also going to get some plans in place for next week once I’m back to work. Also, look for an announcement on Monday! Hmmmmm!!!
I close with this funny thing I stole from Facebook this morning. Peace out, y’all!

I heard this song…someplace online, a week or two ago. I honestly don’t recall where. I think someone used it as a background on their video about something else. But I love this singer’s voice–husky and soulful in her lower register, but she can also rise up and do some belting–and the song itself is quite beautiful. Here is Katrina Stone with “I Hope So”.
Yeah, I’m pretty much back to normal this morning. I’m not planning on testing myself again until tomorrow, but it’s really looking like I’ve weathered my own personal COVID storm pretty well. I’m one of the lucky ones for whom it was “just a cold”. Since the worst of my cold passed on Monday, I’ve basically been enjoying what is turning out to be a lovely August week–albeit, a week when I can’t interact with anyone except my immediate family. It’s like house arrest, but without the ankle monitor. Oh well! Writing is also starting to go passingly well again, but more on that in another post.
Meanwhile, the open tabs are starting to pile up, so let’s clear out some stuff. That’s right, folks, it’s a GRAB-BAG POST! Yay!!!!
Pitter patter, let’s get at ‘er:
:: The value of owning more books than you can ever read.
I love articles like this, because they justify this book-buying lifestyle of mine. I make no apologies. None! Give me all the books! (I do need to do some weeding soon, though. That’s a project for my annual Autumn Vacation.) This article justifies large numbers of unread books in a way that I’d not thought of before in quite this way, however:
These selves of unexplored ideas propel us to continue reading, continue learning, and never be comfortable that we know enough. Jessica Stillman calls this realization intellectual humility.
People who lack this intellectual humility — those without a yearning to acquire new books or visit their local library — may enjoy a sense of pride at having conquered their personal collection, but such a library provides all the use of a wall-mounted trophy. It becomes an “ego-booting appendage” for decoration alone. Not a living, growing resource we can learn from until we are 80 — and, if we are lucky, a few years beyond.
A large personal library as an expression of acknowledgment of our own ignorance? I like that.
:: On lesbians and overalls. (“Dungarees” in the article; I believe the author is British and that’s the word they use over there.) I don’t have much of anything to add, but I did note during the 2000s and the 2010s–when overalls almost completely disappeared after a solid three decades of their being somewhat common, and downright ubiquitous in the 90s–that the only people really keeping them alive were the gays. I thank them for that! I couldn’t do all the heavy lifting myself, after all.
:: Loose lips sink ships. A typically superb essay by Jim Wright, a former Naval intelligence officer who now writes about politics and current events on his own.
What did Trump take?
I don’t know. But the very fact that he could walk out of the White House with classified material shows you that we as a nation need much better oversight and control of this process.
Trump’s own supporters often talk about “our way of life.”
And that’s ironic, because the very foundation of our way of life is that the president is not a king and he can’t just wave his hand and make it so.
This material does not belong to him, it belongs to us.
The president is not above the law.
Shortly after the 2016 election–and by “shortly”, I mean, minutes later–I started believing that that single election might well turn out to be the biggest self-inflicted wound in American history. The ripples from 2016 will be echoing through history long after I’ve joined the Choir Invisible, and I see to this day a reluctance on the part of Americans to admit that in a democracy, the blame always should go to us.
:: The real home run record is 73, not 61.
I’ve been paying more attention to baseball the last few years than I had basically from 2000 to, oh, 2015 or thereabouts. In the 90s I loved baseball and I almost always had a game on the teevee if there wasn’t something else we were watching (and it was baseball season, of course). While I’m not much for televised sport anymore, I’ve found it appealing to follow sport the way people probably back in the days before television: they read about it! You can do this, after all. I find that I can know just as much about what happens without spending three hours watching various sporting events by reading the work of all the fine people out there who write about sport. And then there are the box scores! I’ll let Fox Mulder explain:
It’s like the Pythagorean Theorem for jocks. It distills all the chaos and action of any game in the history of all baseball games into one tiny, perfect, rectangular sequence of numbers. I can look at this box and I can recreate exactly what happened on some sunny summer day back in 1947.
Of course, no box score is perfect; sometimes you just have to see the weirdness that the box score can’t capture. Like this moment, which I just saw this morning: a minor league batter takes a swing at the ball, makes contact, and the ball goes…nowhere.
Well.
Back to the link above, this year there’s a player named Aaron Judge who plays right field for the Yankees. He’s already been known as a good power hitter, having hit 52 home runs in his rookie season in 2017. But this year he’s on an even more torrid (“torrider”?) pace. As of this writing he has 46 home runs already, which roughly translates to 64 home runs if he maintains that pace for the balance of the season. The famous single-season home run record for many years was Roger Maris’s 60 home runs in 1960, a record which stood until the late 1990s, when it was first broken by Mark McGwire and then also superseded by Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds, who set the current record at 73.
But.
Those players were all implicated in the steroid scandals that swamped baseball in the early 2000s, and therefore, a whole lot of people view their accomplishments and records as being tainted. None of those players has been elected to the Hall of Fame, despite near-universal acceptance that Bonds was one of the very greatest players in the entire history of Major League Baseball. This has led many to simply set aside the numbers Bonds and the others put up, and re-establish Maris’s mark as the real record to beat.
The linked writer, Will Leitch, disagrees. Strenuously.
You could make a plausible argument that Judge is having the best home-run-hitting season of all time. McGwire, Sosa, and Bonds all accomplished their feats during an age of unprecedented home-run and scoring rates. And in 2022, nearly every pitcher in the game is throwing 95 mph cutters with late movement, and ultra-specialized relievers mean your final at-bat of the night is usually against some 23-year-old kid who throws 102. Pitching right now is as good as it has ever been. The leaguewide batting average this year is .243, the lowest since 1968, a.k.a. the “Year of the Pitcher” — making Judge’s mammoth blasts all the more impressive. If Bonds and company had to face the caliber of pitchers standard in today’s game, would they have broken Maris’s record? I doubt it.
The thing is, though: They did. The record is not 61: It is 73. Unlike in Maris’s case, there is no asterisk. There is no footnote in the record book reading, “Sure, Barry Bonds is technically the man to beat, but a lot of people didn’t like him and he probably took cow tranquilizers and had a huge head, so not really.” If Judge doesn’t get to 73, he doesn’t get the record. It’s pretty cut-and-dried.
I tend to agree with Leitch. I always found MLB’s tippy-tap dance around PEDs rather disingenuous–“There’s a thing we’d like you to not do, but we’re not going to actually make it a rule that you not do it, nor are we going to undergo any procedures to verify that you’re not doing it, and if you happen to enjoy spectacular success that brings good teevee ratings to us in a time when wow, we could really use some good teevee ratings, well, what’s the harm!”–and I find the resulting annual moralizing bullshit by Hall of Fame voters really cloying and ultimately nauseating. Every year we’re subjected to thinkpieces about “Why I’m not voting for the steroid guys again“, and every year–even moreso, really, with the passage of time–this crap reads more and more like the protest nonsense of self-appointed gatekeepers and guardians whose mission in life is to make sure that baseball’s history is always and forever whitewashed with just the right shade of sepia.
(I also have some suspicions as to the degree to which the public’s distaste for honoring Barry Bonds’s accomplishments stems from his being a black man who, let’s be honest, never put much effort at all into being what white people consider “pleasant”.)
(Oh, by the way, the X-Files episode I reference above, “The Un-natural”, is one of my favorite episodes of any teevee show, ever. If you can track down just that episode, watch it. It’s a stand-alone that requires zero knowledge of that show’s weighty mythology.)
:: OK, I gotta talk about this a little.

I’m not going to get into all the many ways this “I am TOO a man of the people!” Dr. Oz moment is a campaign gaffe for the ages (but seriously, it reminds me of the 2000 Senate NY senate race when that nitwit Rick Lazio thought that storming across the debate stage to force a pen into Hillary Clinton’s hand to sign his bullshit compaign-tone pledge was a great idea). You can read about his failure to even know what store he’s in (resulting in his mashing together the names of two real stores into one name of a store that doesn’t exist), and his absurd notions of what constitutes a veggie tray, and his goofy ideas about prices and how to shop, in lots of other places. You can also dig elsewhere into the current Republican trend of ignoring that inflation is a global trend because they want to blame whatever they can on Joe Biden.
I just want to focus on…Oz’s shirt.
Who the hell wears a Henley shirt with all the collar buttons done up?!
The whole point of a Henley is that the collar opens! It’s why you wear one! There is literally zero point to wearing a Henley shirt if you’re going to button up the collar. At that point you’re better served wearing a long-sleeve tee or a sweater. Just go with a friggin’ button-up shirt, you weirdo–or, if you must, a polo or a golf shirt. (My own personal suspicion of men increases directly with the number of golf shirts in their wardrobes, but that’s just me.) It’s just one more detail in a campaign video in which every detail screams out, “OK, guys, I gotta go where and do what, now? OK, how do I dress for that? Fine, is that my size? Does this look OK? It does? OK, let’s go!”
After this, Oz said something about his bungling of the store’s name along the lines of “Getting the names right doesn’t say anything about my ability to lead the Commonwealth.” This shows that he doesn’t even understand what he’s running for. Senators don’t lead their states, Doc. They represent them.
Seriously, at some point Oprah Winfrey has to account for giving this clown the public life he’s enjoying now.
:: Finally, here are two cats being jerks.

That’s Carla’s bed.