Sentential Links #190

Linkage….

:: We’re all born trying to pick up the thread..

:: This list means nothing, except to me. It’s a list of 50 movies that gave me pleasure over the past decade. I can say without reservation that I would watch any of these again. Would I say that all of them are great films, however great films are supposed to be defined? Probably not. But that’s nothing you need to worry about. Because it’s my list.

:: This list means nothing, except to me. It’s a list of 50 movies that gave me pleasure over the past decade. I can say without reservation that I would watch any of these again. Would I say that all of them are great films, however great films are supposed to be defined? Probably not. But that’s nothing you need to worry about. Because it’s my list. (Yes, two different posts use the same quote. Sheila takes the same idea from the one linked above. And yes, I’ll be doing the same thing.)

Actually, that’s about it. I wasn’t online very much, after all.

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Ahhh, screw the Gipper. What did he ever do for us, anyway?

Adam Schein of FOX Sports spends part of a regular column opining on the Buffalo Bills — specifically, just who is to blame for the fact that the team is a giant mess right now. Here’s the entirety of his take:

1. The Bills’ mess is Dick Jauron’s fault.

This is a bust.

Don’t get me wrong. The record proves that Jauron, a strong football mind, did a bad job. There were major issues with in-game strategy through the years, from the disasters against Cleveland, Dallas and New England on national television to this past Sunday in Tennessee. And Jauron didn’t surround himself with great offensive and defensive coordinators. Firing Turk Schonert right before the season was ill-timed and ill-advised. Promoting Alex Van Pelt, who had never called plays before, was even worse. Schonert should’ve been let go in the offseason and then the Bills should’ve had a new coordinator in place for the offseason workouts.

But there are other factors. The club needs to reshape the football department.

Ralph Wilson has a reputation of being impatient and, relatively speaking, cheap. That means any unemployed coach with Super Bowl rings will not even consider lovely Western New York. I saw our friend Adam Schefter reported the Bills have contacted Mike Shanahan. That would be great. But does Shanahan really want the Bills?

And Terrell Owens once again takes a major hit. I wrote on FOXSports.com that this was a ‘boom or bust’ move for the Bills, and they’d win either 6 or 10 games. It’s been a total bust. T.O., according to defensive coaches around the league, doesn’t bust it off the line of scrimmage every play. Those with and around the Bills scratch their heads as T.O. would get a day off from practice every week, often times on the crucial Friday before a game.

Sometimes, the coaching staff would actually be surprised when T.O. didn’t practice. T.O. is a club killer. And Owens’ play has fallen off. I don’t see a team taking a chance on him next year. He’s helped bring down the Bills. T.O. was jawing at assistants during the Tennessee game. Who would want him?

I find this whole bit rather odd. Schein has been a consistent defender of Jauron’s pretty much all along up until Jauron’s firing last week, insisting at various intervals that Jauron can, in fact, be a winning coach in the NFL. This point is rather dubious now, considering that Jauron’s had head-coaching stints in two different franchises in this decade that last longer than three seasons in each place and yet he managed to turn in exactly one winning season for all that. (I don’t count Jauron’s service as an interim coach with the Lions against him, because that was the Lions during the Matt Millen era. No coach in history could have won there.)

Schein’s partially correct here: the Bills’ problems go a lot farther than Dick Jauron. However, Jauron’s role in the craptacularity of the on-field product also can’t be undersold, either. Schein indicates some of Jauron’s errors, from questionable coaching staff hiring (and firing) to his on-field goofs. But Schein then says what everybody in Buffalo already knows: that the front office is just as big a problem here. The team’s talent level just isn’t good enough, and everybody knows it: draft picks that were outright busts, or picks that ignored more critical needs, or free agent signees that turned out poorly, and so on. But Jauron had his parts there, too: witness the release of Langston Walker right before this season started. That was a dumb move to make given the team’s intention of starting the least experienced offensive line in team history (and possibly in league history). The Bills’ habit in recent years of drafting handfuls of defensive backs every year, even in the face of critical holes on the roster everywhere else, is pure Jauron. But even with Jauron now gone, every Bills fan I’ve either talked to or heard on the radio call-in shows has said the same thing: if all that is changed is the head coach, then the Bills will almost certainly not improve much.

Schein’s third paragraph echoes a pretty odd sentiment that I find generally uncompelling: “Ralph Wilson is notoriously cheap, so no big-name coach would come to Buffalo.” Now, this is possible, but from the standpoint that Wilson may decline to spend the money necessary to bring a big-name coach here. But then, there is still the fact that Wilson is breaking his pattern with the Jauron firing, to some degree: he’s not trying to recoup the money he’s losing by paying Jauron to not coach here, and he’s already pledged that at season’s end there will be a large “re-evaluation” of the organization. Besides that, there’s the fact that Wilson’s recent history doesn’t so much bear out cheapness as his motivation rather than a tendency to try to do the opposite thing when the last thing doesn’t work out. That’s how you go from a fairly sedate coach like Wade Philips to a more fiery guy like Gregg Williams; and then from a defensive guy like Williams to an offensive guy like Mike Mularkey; and then from an inexperienced guy like Mularkey to an experienced and steady hand like Dick Jauron (who was selected by Marv Levy, anyway). Wilson has also in the past proven willing to spend money on players, so I don’t see that he’d be resolutely unwilling to ante up for a good coach. He has also, in the past, decided to hire what he saw as a “strong football guy” to take over just about all of the team operations, which is how Tom Donahoe arrived.

Wilson’s chief fault, in my view, is not so much cheapness as that he’s often unwilling to pull the trigger when the trigger needs to be pulled and that he’s frankly not that great a judge of whom he should hire. Now, maybe the latter doesn’t bode well for the next great rejiggering of the Bills franchise, but he’s already started pulling the trigger, so we’ll see what happens.

Color me unconvinced, also, by the various arguments I’ve seen thrown around this past week that a “big name” coach or GM wouldn’t want to come here, just by definition, because the Bills have been a mess for years. A big-name coach or GM is going to want two things: a dollar figure, and the authority to do things the way he wants. If Ralph Wilson agrees to those, then someone’s going to sign the dotted line. The Kansas City Chiefs were, after last year, a bigger mess than the Bills are now, but that didn’t stop Scott Pioli from going there. Somehow there’s always somebody willing to take on the coaching duties in Detroit, Oakland, Washington, and Cleveland.

Finally, the last two paragraphs of Schein’s entry are laughable. Look, folks, as someone who’s been paying attention, let me tell you that Terrell Owens is the last person to blame for the fact that the Bills are terrible in 2009. Now, he’s not exactly taking it on himself to make things a lot better, but he is in no way a cause of anything bad here. No, he doesn’t put a great deal of effort into things, but any locker room discord right now on the Bills is more a function of things like losing than T.O.’s complaining. If anyone thinks that the couple of passes a game that T.O. has dropped, or the routes he’s run half-heartedly when the ball had zero chance of coming his way anyway because the offensive line can’t block and the two quarterbacks can’t complete a pass to anyone other than a running back are primary reasons the Bills have been losing this year, then that person can speak up, and I’ll call them an idiot for their troubles.

Dick Jauron was an enormous factor in the Bills’ era of woe, and for Schein to pretend otherwise is just goofy — as is his bizarre T.O. rant.

UPDATE: As I write this, the Bills are playing the Jaguars. I’m not watching, but I just looked at the game stats as they are right now, with the 3rd quarter almost over, and T.O.’s line is 8 catches for 182 yards and a touchdown. Yeah, that guy’s certainly been the turd in the Bills’ punchbowl this year.

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Apologia

Well, folks…sorry about the lack of posting the last few days, but the sails have been pretty slack and wind-free. Part of it — quite a large part of it, actually — was the shockingly rapid health decline of a dear personal friend of our family’s, a lovely older woman who took it upon herself to babysit Little Quinn back in the day, before our in-home nursing care arrangements could kick in. We became quite close to her and her husband and remained so the last five years, even through her cancer diagnosis six weeks or so ago. Unfortunately hers was one of those “so late it’s everywhere” diagnoses, and the last week has been a march of steadily worse news until finally, night before last, the news reached its final, awful coda. She’ll be missed.

So, again, sorry for the radio silence. I even missed out on “International Overalls Day”, but…well, I haven’t even been wearing them much this season yet, so who knows.

Anyhow, I can only assume my blogging mojo will return at some point soon.

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Strange quizzes!

Roger has a quiz, and since I haven’t done a quiz in a while, here goes!

1. What is the color of your toothbrush?

White with magenta trim. I started using those battery-powered vibrating toothbrushes a while back. I like the tickling.

2. Name one person who made you smile today.

A guy I work with who called me just to speculate on who the Bills’ new coach will end up being.

3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?

Either scraping off old caulk on a fixture at The Store or installing a stainless steel splash guard on a hand-wash sink.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Reading blogs.

5. What is your favorite candy bar?

I couldn’t name a favorite if I wanted to. Almond Joy (it would be perfect if they made it with dark chocolate); Skor and Heath; Clark; Reese’s Cups; Boyer Peanut Butter Smoothies (oh so heavenly); Baby Ruth; 100 Grand; Oh Henry; and many others.

Bonus Question I Just Made Up: What no-longer-available candy would you bring back?

Marathon Man. Wow, those were something: strands of caramel were literally braided together and covered in chocolate. The thing was 12 inches long, and the wrapper actually indicated this by having a ruler printed on the back. These were around when I was a kid.

6. Have you ever been to a strip club?

Never once, and I have absolutely no desire to attend one, either.

7. What is the last thing you said aloud?

“Get your dessert.”

8. What is your favorite ice cream? How to choose?

Ummm…yeah. Like the candy question, all I could do is list a bunch of flavors. I can only recall one ice cream flavor that I didn’t like: Turkey Hill (a brand in these parts) makes a “Buttered Popcorn” ice cream. I thought it sounded intriguing. It wasn’t.

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Water.

10. Do you like your wallet?

I guess so. It gets the job done. My wallet isn’t thin, but it’s not “George Costanza” thick, either. I refuse to carry it in my back pocket, though. I hate that.

11. What was the last thing you ate?

I had cheese and crackers for dinner tonight.

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?

No. I desperately need new socks, though. I’ll pick some up the day after Thanksgiving.

13. The last sporting event you watched?

In entirety? Browns 6, Bills 3 — a month ago. We’re watching movies instead of the Bills. (This week, I’m thinking Close Encounters sounds good.)

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

I like my popcorn marinated in butter, and then dipped in butter prior to and immediately after popping, and if possible, I like each individual kernel to be injected with butter. Oh, and then, pour butter over the whole thing, and wash each mouthful down with a sip of butter. (It’s OK. I don’t eat popcorn all that often, although all the movie watching lately has my popcorn consumption going up a bit. But still not more than once a week.)

That said, I adore the kettle corn made at the County Fair. Microwave kettle corn is OK, but not the same.

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

The wife. I rarely text.

16. Ever go camping?

Not in many years. It’s perennially high on the “things we need to do” list.

17. Do you take vitamins daily?

Yes. I have morning and evening vitamins. Some of them could get caught in the gullet of a small horse.

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?

Most of the time, yes. I truly enjoy it and love the people, but I’m still unsold on the ideological aspects. My general view continues to be that every religion has something wise and insightful to say about humanity and its place in the Universe, and that every religion has something deeply bogus to say about humanity and its place in the Universe.

19. Do you have a tan?

It’s November in Buffalo. Take a wild guess. (Even though our weather this year has been stunningly mild.)

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?

Yes. And no. I love both, but I have pizza more often because a large cheese-and-pep is cheaper than Chinese for the family. But if money’s not an object, it’s whichever one we haven’t had in the longer while.

(Wait a minute: how about General Tso’s Chicken on a pizza? Holy shit, I’m on to something BIG here!)

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?

Only if it’s in a paper cup from a fast food joint. If it’s served in a plastic cup or a glass at a restaurant, I don’t use the straw.

22. What did your last text message say?

“Unhelpful wife is unhelpful.”

OK, the boring tale: we were at the Central Branch of the Buffalo and Erie County Public Library this past Saturday. That’s the main branch, which is in downtown Buffalo. It’s a two-story building that takes up an entire city block. A big library. So I went off to look at what I wanted to look at, The Wife went off her way, The Daughter was in the Children’s Room, et cetera. After an hour or so I wondered if it was time to start thinking about leaving, so I texted The Wife to asked her, “Where are you?” To which she replied, “Right here.” Hence my reply above.

23. What are you doing tomorrow?

Going to work. Oh, specifically at work? I have to blow out the condensers on our self-contained refrigerated cases.

24. Favorite color?

Purple.

25. Look to your left; what do you see?

Books; several stacks of CDs; plush toys of Grumpy from Snow White, Mickey Mouse in his “Sorceror’s Apprentice” garb, and Sully from Monsters Inc.

Roger says there might be a part II of this someday….

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Get thee to an ER.

One of the most nauseating of all talk points from the Right in this country on the subject of health care is the whole “Hey, the uninsured can just go to the emergency room for health care!” canard. Any time I hear someone say this I instantly file that person away in my head as someone without anything of worth to say on the subject.

And now it turns out that guess what? Uninsured ER patients are twice as likely to die from traumatic injuries as insured ER patients are.

The fact is that our awful health care system kills people who shouldn’t have to die. Anyone defending this system, then, needs to answer the question of why they think that more death is preferable to less death.

(Comments closed.)

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You got to know when to hold ’em….

The football world is abuzz — abuzz! — with talk about a big gamble Patriots coach (and all around Incarnation of All Things Evil) Bill Belichick made in the game yesterday against the Indianapolis Colts. With the Pats leading 34-28 with a bit more than two minutes left, the Pats faced 4th-and-2 from their own 28 yard line. Just about everybody on the planet would almost certainly punt in that situation, the idea being that you at least want the other team to have a lot more field to cover if they have to drive for a touchdown to have any chance. But Belichick decided to go for the 4th-down conversion, which came up short. The Colts took over at the Pats’ 28 yard line with just over two minutes to go and with all three of their timeouts remaining, in a game in which they had just stormed back from being down 31-14 early in the 4th quarter to being down just 34-28. Peyton Manning drove them in for the touchdown that gave the Colts a 35-34 lead with less than ten seconds to go, and the game ended with that as the final score.

Now, I agree with the general criticisms being leveled at Belichick on this. There is a growing consensus in the NFL that you shouldn’t always punt on 4th down; going for it on 4th down is a lot more frequent now. But there are situations where it still seems prudent to kick the ball away, and this definitely seems like one of them. So what was Belichick thinking?

My suspicion is that he was, first of all, utterly confident that his offense would convert the 4th down. That seems obvious. Also, I suspect that he was less than confident of his defense, which, as noted above, had just been shredded in the 4th quarter and hasn’t looked like a particularly stout defense a whole lot this year. Most of all, though, I’ll bet Belichick was thinking about the game clock. I’d guess that his reasoning was something like this:

“Well, my defense is getting killed, so if we punt, we’ll almost certainly give up the touchdown. If we go for it and convert, we can run down the clock a bit and force the Colts to use their timeouts on defense. But if we go for it and fail, the Colts will still score. So, assuming that the Colts score their touchdown if they get the ball back in this situation, which situation is worse for us? If they score after going sixty or seventy yards, they’ll probably only leave a few seconds on the clock for us, so we won’t be able to get a winning field goal. But, if they get the ball back right here on the 28, then they probably score really quickly, right? And then we get more time to get the field goal we’ll need to win.”

I think Belichick was trying to play the clock a bit, choosing the scenario that gave him the most control he would have over the time he would have left: either keep the ball, or at least give the Colts a chance to score in a lot less time than it would have taken them otherwise. Of course, the problem with that kind of thing is when the guy on the other side of the field knows all this too, and Peyton Manning may be the single most football knowledgeable quarterback in history, which is why he was able to both score his go-ahead touchdown and leave New England a paltry nine seconds in which they could do exactly nothing.

(In other news, the Bills still suck. We watched Up instead. A post on that movie is forthcoming sometime.)

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Sentential Links #189

Linkage of the week….

:: What happened to the right wing swagger? When did they turn into such a bunch of scared wimps? When did they go from standing there in the rubble with George Bush and his megaphone to hiding under Dick Cheney’s desk cowering in fear?

:: The funny thing about all of this is that no matter how bad all their ideas are, no matter how disastrous their governance has been, no matter how many horrible things they have done to the economy and this country, what really is killing the Republican party is that deep down, they are just complete assholes. You see it in the way they treat women, you see it in the way they treat minorities, you see it in the way they treat homosexuals, you see it in the way they treat anyone who is not a white Christian, and you see it in the way they treat anyone who disagrees with them slightly about anything. They just have no respect for anyone, and it shows. People don’t like to be treated like crap, and grown-ups don’t want to be associated with people who yell “You lie” or scream “socialism” or “Hitler” or accuse you of being a terrorist whenever they don’t get their way. (Two from the same blog, but I couldn’t choose.)

:: I’m in a bit of a hungover haze at the moment, but as I understand it the two big new attacks on the President are that he (a) bows at formal meetings with Japanese people and (b) wants to see terrorists tried for their crimes. Is that right? Really? Strange times.

:: Now we know that Joe Lieberman isn’t a loyal Democrat or an actual Independent. He probably wouldn’t be a good Republican if and when he switches parties. He’s a die-hard Libermantonian, a staunch Joe-ist, and nothing else, and it’s hard to believe that people in the position to know this about him, like Gore himself, missed this about him.

:: What wakes liberal writers up at night — I mean that eye-snap of soul-gnawing, nauseating dread — is not social injustice, is not the fear of creeping fascism, is not rage against corporate greed …

:: I’ve got no problem with the White House making some real moves to cut the deficit. But the devil is in the details. It would be insane, for instance, to sharply cut spending in the midst of a recession. But it makes sense to build out policies to increase revenues in 2012 or after.

:: Moby Dick remains an unclassifiable novel for me – would I call it “my favorite”? I would not. But I will say this: It is, hands down, the most exciting read I have ever had. Not exciting because of all that exciting action, because as we all know, the majority of the book is one long marine biology lesson – and those were the sections that seemed to be the stumbling blocks for early reviewers and readers – like: why the hell do I care about blubber? Get back to Ahab!

:: Whenever I find myself in a difficult situation or experience, I try to ask myself, “What is it about love that I’m not learning?”. Sometimes the answer is a bit convoluted and I have to dig around a bit to find it, and sometimes it’s looking me in the face.

:: “My Cousin Vinny” is a lawyer movie that believes in lawyers and the legal system. A just result– the correct result– is reached, and it ends that way because the defendants’ lawyer, Vinny, did his job. That’s a good reason to put it on anybody’s list of great lawyer movies, and congratulations to the ABA for getting it. (That movie is so often viewed as “fluff”, and I’ve always thought it very unfair — in fact, an urban legend holds that Marisa Tomei was awarded the Oscar by accident when the presenter read the wrong name. It’s really a very good movie in itself, and I never even realized the competence of the film’s treatment of the legal proceedings.)

More next week.

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