New England Satanic Puppy Eaters 56, Bills 10

Lord, now that was a steamrolling. Holy crap. I’m still not sure that Belichick’s Boys of Ultimate Evil are going to go undefeated, but yeesh, they’ve probably got a better shot at it than anybody has in years.

Why am I not convinced that the Foxborough Hitlers are going to go 16-0? Because of the way the standings work out. They’ll clinch the AFC East with just one more win (probably this weekend), and assuming Indianapolis doesn’t lose again, they’ll clinch the top seed with four more wins, which would leave two meaningless games at the end of their schedule. Now, their last two games are one at home against Miami (no problem), but then on the road at the Giants, who may need that game for either playoff position or possibly even a division crown. And they could end up playing meaningless games sooner than that, if Indy loses again. So, you never know.

Anyhow….

Woo-hoo!

:: Kevin Everett is out of the hospital.

:: The game ended.

Meh.

:: Al Michaels and John Madden, who acted like Buffalo’s City Hall is the single largest City Hall they’ve ever seen in their lives. Come on, guys. It would have been nice to hear them say, “That’s Buffalo’s City Hall, and let me tell you, that is one beautiful building, and this city is full of ’em.”

:: Again, JP Losman. It’s official, folks: I have given up on him. Not that I expected him to beat New England — that would have required, oh, some kind of event involving two snipers on the roof of Ralph Wilson Stadium, the ritual sacrifice of six goats, and a DVD of a Jerry Lewis movie — but can’t he at least complete short passes to open receivers? Apparently not, sadly enough.

Losman strikes me as a terrific guy, which makes this kind of sad for me. I didn’t just want him to succeed here because he was here, but because he’s genuinely likable. But sometime you just wanna win, you know?

D'oh!

:: Smuggy McBrady left the game with his knee intact. What somebody needs to do is send all eleven guys after him, on the game’s first play from scrimmage. Come on, remaining 2007 opponents of the New England Genghis Khans! Take him out! Do it for the children!

Next up: the Bills go to Jacksonville. Apparently JP Losman is still the starter, and Marshawn Lynch may still be out. Whoopee.

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Sunday Burst of Weirdness

Two items this week, snagged from MeFi:

:: First, an apparent call to customer service (warning: salty language) of Jimmy Dean Sausage regarding their apparent execution of the old “reduce the package size but keep the price the same” retail maneuver. I say “apparent” because some folks on MeFi seem to think this may be a viral marketing kind of thing. Assuming it’s a real guy voicing a real complaint, I kind of see his point, but geez, breakfasts in his family consist of fried eggs, T-bone steaks, and sausage? With what else?

:: Second, remember the kindly Grandpa Joe character from Willy Wonka? Well, according to these folks, he’s less than kindly. Hmmmmm.

:: And from TNH, we have action figures of Jesus, in the act of performing in…I’m not making this up…extreme sports.

This reminds me of a lame joke I once heard:

Jesus, Moses, and an old man are playing golf. Moses tees off and plops his ball right in the water, so he walks over, parts the water to where his ball is and putts out of it. Then Jesus tees off and also lands in the water, but he merely walks across the surface of the water until he gets to where his ball is, where, finding it quite shallow, he putts it out and onto the green. Now the old man tees off and hits his ball toward the same water. But the ball bounces off the shell of a swimming turtle, and then arcs wildly toward the woods, where it caroms off the back of a bird in flight back onto the green, where it rolls the rest of the way to the hole. Moses grunts, turns to Jesus, and says, “You know, I really hate playing golf with your father.”

I know, I know. But tip your waitress anyway, folks.

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Time to start embiggening my words

There’s a widget going around Blogistan that tests your blog’s readability level. So I plugged my own URL in to see, and here’s what happened:

cash advance

Ummmm…what?

Not that there’s anything wrong with this, mind you — Lloyd Alexander wrote at an elementary school level a lot of time, and it served him rather well — but I wouldn’t mind having some notion of methodology here.

Anyhow, moving on….

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Unidentified Earth 24

It’s the twenty-fourth installment! Woo-hoo! Or something. Anyway, Unidentified Earth 23 was identified fairly quickly. It’s the Piazza dei Miracoli in Pisa, Italy. That smaller, lopsided-looking building at the lower right of the image I used? That’s the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

OK, here we go again. Let’s see how we do with this one!

Where are we?

Rot-13 your guesses!

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Tag’d

Ah, I see that Erin has tagged me with the vicious Seven Things Meme, wherein bloggers are supposed to provide seven facts about themselves. For a long-lived blogger like myself, this meme gets harder every time it comes around, since I run through a roster of facts in my head and rule them all out on the basis that I’m really, really sure that I’ve already posted them before in a previous iteration of Seven Things. So, here we go:

1. My idea of an ideal vacation these days consists not of journeying to some far-flung and exotic locale, but simply packing some clothes, getting in the car, and driving somewhere, with only these rules: No driving on Interstates or expressways of any kind, and No eating at chain establishments (except for local chains that you’ll only find in a single city, like Ted’s in Buffalo). The Wife and I recently took such a journey, and it was as magical a weekend as I can remember. The best way to find good food? Drive into a town and eat at the place whose parking lot is full. Especially if the windows all have neon beer signs and the place’s name includes the word “Inn”.

2. I’m not sure what my objection is, but I can’t stand Dancing with the Stars. I literally hate that show. I was on the fence about it for a while, but then I decided that I really can’t abide the show in any form. I suspect that this is because the show tried to convince me that Mario Lopez is sexy.

3. Despite living in the Buffalo area for seven years now (minus winter of 2002-2003, when we lived in Syracuse), I’ve never eaten at Louie’s, and I hadn’t eaten at Mighty Taco until just two years ago. Why? I dunno.

4. The Wife’s first gift to me, back when she was The Girlfriend, was, if memory serves, a teddy bear with a lavender ribbon around his neck. I think she doused him with perfume. He’s still around the apartment somewhere, although the ribbon may be gone; The Daughter probably has him in her stash of animals. I named him Bertrand, after Bertrand Russell. (I was a Philosophy major; what do you expect?) We ended up with a number of stuffed animals together, and we named a lot of them, although I only remember two: Bertrand the bear, and Barry the stuffed bison that we bought at the gift shop near Old Faithful at Yellowstone National Park. (Barry for Barry Bonds; this was 1992, when he was leading the Pirates to their third straight NL East title and well before any hint of steroid use.)

5. My first gift to The Wife was a little Laughing Buddha figurine that I bought at the gift shop at the mall in Olean, NY. That gift shop isn’t there anymore. (In Olean, most things aren’t there anymore.)

It wasn’t quite what she expected for a first gift from a still-new boyfriend. I bought it for her while at home for spring break; we’d been dating for little more than a month, and I got a bit of a freakout when I tried to call her at the house where she was staying (in our Iowa college town; I was at home in WNY), and was informed by her landlord that there had been a death in her family. I worried a bit before I remembered that she had told me that her grandfather had been quite ill, and that’s who it ended up being. The upshot was that I returned to college from spring break and immediately met my future in-laws. That was just slightly less nerve-wracking than some of the musical auditions I’d done in my life to that point.

6. In high school, I went on exactly one date. It was an OK date, I suppose; some girl (wow, I don’t remember her name!) I met while playing in the All-County Band and I went to see some movie with Nick Nolte in it and then we went for ice cream at Friendly’s. Not a disaster, but I clearly didn’t make much of an impression, since the next couple of times I tried calling her for a follow-up date she said she was busy each time. How naïve was I? It took me that long to recognize that for a brush-off. Whoops!

7. And there was the girl that I didn’t ask out. She was a very sweet person, quite short with lovely red hair and a terrific smile. I had a monster crush on her, and yet I never asked her out, although I did give her a rose at Valentine’s Day. Yes, you read that right. I gave her a rose. On Valentine’s Day. Didn’t ask her out. Yeah, I’ve kicked myself ever since for that one – not out of any dissatisfaction with how things eventually turned out for me, love-wise, mind you! Just out of a “Wow, you were a putz back then!” older-me-wanting-to-kick-younger-me’s-ass kind of thing.

A story about that girl (whose name I do remember, although I’m not going to post it here): I once got her in trouble in Trig class, and I felt a bit bad about it afterward, although she thought it funny and laughed it off. She sat in the seat ahead of mine, and we’d gab a bit in the off-moments in class and discuss our mutual disdain for the Trig teacher (whom I loathed, because while this particular teacher was wildly popular amongst the kids, she got that way by choosing one or two kids per class who’d be the brunt of her every joke, and guess who got to be one of her designated class clowns that year). But anyway, on the day in question, I actually fell asleep in Trig class. (Nothing against the teacher on that score, really; I can count on one hand the number of times I fell asleep in a class in high school. Now, in college, I slept through a lot of classes, but not in high school.)

So anyway, I slept through about fifteen minutes of class, and then I came to, just in time to be called on by the teacher. I, of course, had absolutely no clue what the hell the question was, to say nothing of the actual answer. I glanced from the teacher to my friend, the lovely red-head, who was grinning ear to ear as she beheld my expression of total horror. I just kind of gaped like an idiot, not saying anything, until the teacher moved on to asking someone else the question, at which point I tried to hide behind my book as my friend the lovely red-head began giggling. And she continued to giggle, and giggle, and giggle, until finally the teacher took note of her giggling and chewed her out.

That may be the angriest I’ve ever been toward one of my teachers.

Anyway, that particular class session couldn’t end fast enough, and I was pretty well mortified and planned to get upbraided pretty harshly by the lovely red-head for getting her in trouble; but to my pleasant surprise, as soon as she came into the hall she dissolved into the laughter that she had to get out of her system. She wasn’t mad at me at all.

I’ve always wondered whatever became of her. And I’ve always wondered if she ever thought along the lines of, “Geez, why doesn’t that doof ask me out? He gave me a rose, for Pete’s sake!”

So there we are, and now I must tag people. Yeesh. I choose…my, I don’t know. I’ll tag Steph and Nettl — but each has to post seven things about the other! Heh! (Other than that, go ahead and tag yourselves, folks.)

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Beers! Blogs!

UPDATED below and UPDATED again:

Yup, it’s coming up, folks: the official Holiday season social gathering of navel-gazing keyboard pounders known as a Christmas Bloggercon! The date is December 8, the place (since no one’s strenuously argued for another) is Buffalo Sports Garden, and the time? I’m guessing around 7:00, unless anyone thinks it should be later, around the 8:00 range. Bloggers, commenters, lurkers, and families thereof are welcome to attend. Given that this is a basic sports bar joint, I’m guessing that it’s simply a “show up and see what’s going on” type of thing. The Sabres do play that night, at San Jose, so it’s a late game; we won’t be battling a crowd on that basis.

For those who have never come to any kind of blogging get-together, well, I’ve only been to two of ’em myself, but my experience is that we don’t actually blog while we’re there. Because that would be, you know, lame. And we’re not lame in Buffalo, are we?

UPDATE: Well, it seems that Jennifer can’t make the 8th, so if everyone involved wants to move the meetup to the 9th, I’m fine with that. (I’m also perfectly fine with a change in venue; it’s not like I had my heart set on that sports bar or anything, having just tossed that out there and not heard any suggestions otherwise!)

UPDATE II: OK, all this damned waffling on my part isn’t helping the cause at all, is it? So I’ll be at the afore-mentioned location at the time also afore-mentioned, on the 8th, as originally planned. Sorry for all the cock-ups on this thing, and if anyone wants to show up just to tell me how bad I am at event planning, well, I’ll plead guilty as charged! And I hope to catch everyone else at another blogger event in the future.

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Autumn's Last Moments


October 07 011, originally uploaded by Jaquandor.

Winter can’t be far away now. This is Cazenovia Creek, at one of my favorite “secret spots” in the region. It’s a “blink and you miss it” kind of view.

I never blink.

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Sentential Links #118

‘Tis time for the one hundred eighteenth installment. Wow. That’s a lot of these. It’s weird how blog-time works, isn’t it? I still feel like I’ve been doing Sentential Links for a relatively short time — and yet, when I started this series way back when, Star Wars Episode III hadn’t come out yet and my son was still alive. Wow.

Anyway, here we go with this week’s linkage:

:: Remember these props. The coffee and the Pepsi. They’re Chekhov’s gun, the one he said that if you bring it on stage in Act One has to go off in Act Three. (Why can’t I write stuff like this?)

:: I’m trying to reformat how I use food so it becomes something that NOURISHES me, not a means of self indulgence. (The health practitioner I’ve been seeing of late has a poster on his wall that reads: “Americans are overfed and undernourished.” I’m trying to focus more on nourishment these days, and not just with food, either.)

:: Americans really need to ask themselves some questions about how comfortable they are with things being done in their name.

:: So I finally saw Spider-Man 3. I expected to be entertained but disappointed – all the stuff I read about the film had me expecting to find the film overstuffed, with a weak plot, not enough depth, and generally just glossier and less textured than the second film. So of course it’s my favorite of the three Spider-Man films. (Crikey! Now, I didn’t dislike the movie, but there’s no way it’s better than Spiderman 2.)

:: Libertarians — glah. What can you say? I’d like to live utterly independent of everyone else, too, with every transaction that occurs between myself and others being an entirely volitional one in which I have full bargaining power. But the real world has never worked like that and never will, and libertarianism will always remain an adolescent fantasy due to this.

:: Listen, I get it. You love free markets. So do I. I just know that they weren’t designed by Jesus. They’re not perfect, and sometimes you need a union not out of any high moral stance, but just to maintain fair business practices.

To paraphrase a previous post — I live with the tiger, I love it, but I respect its teeth and instincts. Stop asking why I don’t just pet the kitty.

:: After all the maniacs, torturers and zombies of our times, who is the scariest person of them all? The cornered little man with no scruples.

And that’ll do it for this week.

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Bill 13, Dolphins 10

I didn’t see all of this game; in fact, I pretty much missed the entire first quarter and the first few minutes of the second. Turns out I didn’t miss much, as the Bills waited until the fourth quarter to pretty much do anything at all in beating the worst team in the NFL. Seriously, Miami is a total mess of a franchise.

Woo-hoo!

:: After that disastrous 0-3 start to the season, the Bills are actually above .500, and at 5-4, they’ve matched my predicted win total for them this season. (Remember, I’d picked them to go 5-11.)

:: Ryan Lindell made a game winning field goal at the end, with the score tied at the time. Everyone who insists that despite his accuracy he’s still not a “clutch kicker” is now lacking a bit of ammunition for their argument (such as it was).

:: Clutch defense. They gave up a 100-yard rusher today, but still made some big plays when it counted.

Meh.

:: JP Losman. Look, I’m rooting for the guy, but he couldn’t do much of anything at all against the league’s worst defense? This was the kind of game we’d hoped for out of him last season, but this isn’t last season. Losman is now a veteran, and he should be able to go into the house of the worst D in the NFL and do better than 12 of 23 for 157 yards, no TDs, and a pick. Yeesh. Losman’s been in the league for as long as Ben Roeythlissburgerr (pretty sure I spelled that wrong), but Losman’s still “developing” while Big Ben’s won a Super Bowl, been to two AFC championship games, and currently has his team at 7-2? Oy.

I accept that Losman’s time here is nearing its end, and that we’re awaiting the official beginning of the Trent Edwards era. At least Losman could go out swinging, and enhance his trade value. Games like today aren’t going to help much.

:: The offensive line. We were told in the preseason, “Wait for the rebuilt line to gel, and then you’ll see good things.” Instead, we’re still seeing Marshawn Lynch run 19 times for only 61 yards. God, I hope Marv Levy uses next year’s draft to bring in some young O-line talent.

D'oh!

:: One first down in the first half? A third quarter score of 3-2? Huh?

There wasn’t a whole lot to love about this game. It was a game. Dull. Boring to watch. A game to have on when you’re in a cafe with free WiFi, so you can blog while halfway paying attention.

Next week? Smuggy McBrady and the rest of his nest of coiled vipers come to town. I can’t wait. (Well, yes I can, because let’s be realistic: this game is highly unlikely to go well for the Bills. I do hope that if the Forces of Evil start running up the score, throwing long passes and going for fourth-down conversions while up more than three TDs in the second half, the Bills have more moxie than the Redskins did and actually take some shots at Smuggy McBrady.)

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The official site of Kelly Sedinger: Reader, writer, photographer, and dreamer

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