I tweeted a bunch of NFL predictions this morning, and here they are! Most of them will be wrong. Some will be spectacularly wrong. I apologize for nothing.
1. Bills will go 10-6. Maybe, maybe not for playoffs. Depends on rest of AFC. In division, will go 0-2 NE, 1-1 MIA, 2-0 NYJ.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
2. Tyrod Taylor won't be GREAT, but he'll be good enough to keep Bills fans optimistic about his development.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
3. Gilmore will be awesome except for one play a week. On basis of that single play, fans will call for his head.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
4. Taylor will have three games that are downright bad. Fans will unironically call for signing Tim Tebow.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
5. Peyton Manning will look more and more like a shadow of his former self. Tim Brady, alas, will not.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
6. Terrible D in Pittsburgh will squander a really good offensive season. Steelers will aggressively address D in 2016 offseason.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
7. The Jaguars will, all evidence to the contrary, continue to exist for reasons passing understanding.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
8. Roger Goodell will publicly trip on his own shoelaces.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
9. Fred Jackson will be sobbing on the field when he plays his first playoff game. It will be the season's best moment.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
10. In a Voldemort-meets-Palpatine scenario, the Patriots beat the Cowboys in Super Bowl L. Nobody in Buffalo watches.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
Over-under for "This team sucks and will always suck" columns by Jerry Sullivan: 4.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
Over-under for times Bills fans will miss Kiko Alonso: Zero.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
Over-under on innocent puppies consumed in the cavernous lair beneath Gillette Stadium: 42.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
Flavor of pie Roger Goodell hits himself with in attempt to lighten mood: Mincemeat.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
Opposing player who will horribly bungle a play late in Super Bowl L, guaranteeing Patriots win: Tony Romo.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
Over-under on some drunk's antics at Ralph Wilson Stadium making national news: Eight.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
Times per home game I'll be distracted from my writing by the crowd noise a mile away: 29.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
Over-under on quality years left in Tom Brady's career: 22.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
Pegulas will secretly refuse to push for new stadium until Brady's retirement, figuring, why bother?
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
After this season, Buffalo sports fandom will split into two camps: the Taylorites and the Eichelians. They will not trust each other.
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
This concludes my NFL predictions for the 2015 season. Play ball, gentlemen!
— Kelly Sedinger (@Jaquandor) September 13, 2015
Remember: I will be wrong about almost all of this. Except for Brady playing until he’s 64, because that’s happening. I’ve given up. The man will be here forever.
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Go, Bills!
D'oh, Giants!
Sadly, I think you're right about Brady. We will be stuck with him for a long time. There's something else putting a bit of a damper on looking forward to his retirement though. One of the networks will almost certainly hire him as an "analyst" and then I will have to see him every week during football season.