Something for Thursday

I had a piece chosen already, but yesterday’s passing of pianist Van Cliburn gave me cause to push that one back a week. This particular work is so associated with Cliburn that it’s almost cliche to use it, but there’s a reason cliches become so in the first place.

Back when I was in school and taking piano lessons, my teacher — a wonderful lady named Margaret Hooker — used to rave about Van Cliburn. She thought the world of him, and I never think of him without thinking of her almost at the same time. I was never that good at the piano, choosing instead to focus my energies on my beloved trumpet, which I imagine had to frustrate Mrs. Hooker somewhat, as I could have done better had I worked harder at it. I’d say ‘Story of my life’, but then, that’s the story of everyone‘s life, isn’t it?

Anyway, I hope that Mrs. Hooker is finally getting to meet Mr. Cliburn in whatever musical realm they now inhabit. There’s no question in my mind that if there is such a realm, she’s already tracked him down.

Here’s Van Cliburn playing the Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto #1.

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Fixing the Prequels: Revenge of the Sith (part five)

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Again, it’s been a while since we did this, and I’ve been lax for mainly the same reasons: work on other projects, and the continued calcification of the view that the Prequel Trilogy is utter garbage. It seems that the only way to get commentary about the PT noticed online is to simply find some way to repackage the same, tired, old “The PT sucks and Lucas is a hack!” narrative. But for the sake of completeness, I suppose I should tilt at this windmill until I’m done…which is what I’m going to do. (I’ve already written several of the next posts in this series.) Perhaps a re-energizing of Star Wars fandom in the wake of the franchise’s transition in ownership from George Lucas to the hands of the Disney folks will lead to a re-evaluation of the Prequels…which might lead to a discovery of this blog series. A guy can dream, can’t he? So on we go!

When last we left off, we had completed the rescue of Chancellor Palpatine and were heading into the political part of the story. In my version, Anakin has already told Padme that when their child is born, he will leave the Jedi order; but Palpatine has already started his plotting, beginning with invoking some ancient law to appoint Anakin directly to the Jedi Council (which Anakin interprets to mean that he will, at long last, be made a Jedi Master). Meanwhile, Padme has been approached by several Senators who have strong concerns about the direction Palpatine is leading the Republic.

So: at this point in the film, Anakin stands before the Council after his appointment. It doesn’t go as well as he hopes. (Red text indicates material not in the film; blue text indicates stuff I’m adding on my own.)


INT. CORUSCANT-JEDI TEMPLE-HALLWAY OUTSIDE COUNCIL CHAMBERS-DAY

ANAKIN stands pensively (I’d have him pacing, actually.) in front of the Jedi Council Chambers. The door opens.

83 INT. CORUSCANT-JEDI TEMPLE-COUNCIL CHAMBERS-DAY

ANAKIN enters and stands in the middle of the room. He is surrounded by the Jedi Council MACE WINDU, EETH KOTH OBI-WAN, YODA, the HOLOGRAMS of PLO KOON and KI-ADI-MUNDI.

MACE: Anakin Skywalker, we have approved your appointment to the Council as the Chancellor’s personal representative.

ANAKIN: I will do my best to uphold the principles of the Jedi Order.

YODA: Allow this appointment lightly, the Council does not. Disturbing is this move by Chancellor Palpatine.

ANAKIN: I understand.

MACE: You are on this Council, but we do not grant you the rank of Master.

Anakin reacts with anger.

ANAKIN: What? ! How can you do this?? This is outrageous, it’s unfair . . . I’m more powerful than any of you. How can you be on the Council and not be a Master?

[I’m glad that Lucas excised that one sentence, there. It really makes Anakin sound whiny and entitled. The focus instead should be on the idea that just being on the Council should make him a Master, not on his power.]

MACE: You are powerful, and you have accomplished a great deal. No one here questions this. But it is the Council’s decision who becomes a Master, not the Chancellor’s, and there is no dusty ancient law in any book that he can use to make it so. Take a seat, young Skywalker.

ANAKIN: Forgive me, Master.

ANAKIN goes and sits in one of the empty chairs. Everyone is embarrassed. KI-ADI-MUNDI WHO APPEARS AS A HOLOGRAM, speaks.

Kl-ADI-MUNDI: We have surveyed all systems in the Republic, and have found no sign of General Grievous.

YODA: Hiding in the Outer Rim, Grievous is. The outlying systems, you must sweep.

OBI-WAN: It may take some time . . . we do not have many ships to spare.

MACE: We cannot take ships from the front line.

OBI-WAN: And yet, it would be fatal for us to allow the droid armies to regroup.

YODA: Master Kenobi, our spies contact, you must, and then wait.

Kl-ADI-MUNDI: What about the droid attack on the Wookiees?

MACE: It is critical we send an attack group there, immediately!

OBI-WAN: He’s right, that is a system we cannot afford to lose. It’s the main navigation route for the southwestern quadrant.

ANAKIN: I know that system well. It would take us little time to drive the droids off that planet.

MACE: Skywalker, your assignment is here with the Chancellor, and Kenobi must find General Grievous.

YODA: Go, I will. Good relations with the Wookiees, I have.

MACE: It is settled then. Yoda will take a battalion of clones to reinforce the Wookiees on Kashyyyk. May the Force be with us all.

ANAKIN is disappointed.

So Anakin had thought that Palpatine’s action would instantly elevate him to the highest levels of the Jedi order…but that’s not at all how things worked out. I really like this development and always have – with this one move, Palpatine has managed to drive the already-existing wedge between himself and the Council a little bit deeper, and he has managed to position Anakin right in the middle. He knows that Anakin will find the Council’s actions insulting, and what’s more, he clearly already knew that the Council would refuse to elevate Anakin to Master. Palpatine is planting seeds with the deftness of…a Sith Lord!

What happens next:

INT. CORUSCANT-JEDI TEMPLE-MASSIVE MAIN HALLWAY AND ALCOVE-LATE AFTERNOON

ANAKIN and OBI-WAN walk through one of the massive Jedi Temple hallways. ANAKIN is furious.

ANAKIN: What kind of nonsense is this, put me on the Council and not make me a Master!?? That’s never been done in the history of the Jedi. It’s insulting!

OBI-WAN: Calm down, Anakin. You have been given a great honor. To be on the Council at your age . . . It’s never happened before. Listen to me, Anakin. The fact of the matter is you’re too close to the Chancellor. The Council doesn’t like it when he interferes in Jedi affairs.

ANAKIN: I swear to you, I didn’t ask to be put on the Council . . .

OBI-WAN: But it’s what you wanted! Your friendship with Chancellor Palpatine seems to have paid off.

ANAKIN: That has nothing to do with this.

OBI-WAN: Anakin, regardless of how it happened, you find yourself in a delicate situation.

ANAKIN: You mean divided loyalties.

OBI-WAN: I warned you there was tension between the Council and the Chancellor. I was very clear. Why didn’t you listen? You walked right into it.

ANAKIN: The Council is upset I’m the youngest to ever serve.

OBI-WAN: No, it is not. Anakin, I worry when you speak of jealousy and pride. Those are not Jedi thoughts. They’re dangerous, dark thoughts.

ANAKIN: Master, you of all people should have confidence in my abilities. I know where my loyalties lie.

OBI-WAN: I hope so . . .

ANAKIN: I sense there’s more to this talk than you’re saying.

OBI-WAN: Anakin, the only reason the Council has approved your appointment is because the Chancellor trusts you.

ANAKIN: And?

OBI-WAN: Anakin, look, I am on your side. I didn’t want to see you put in this situation.

ANAKIN: What situation?

OBI-WAN: (takes a deep breath) The Council wants you to report on all of the Chancellor’s dealings. They want to know what he’s up to.

ANAKIN: They want me to spy on the Chancellor? That’s treason!

OBI-WAN: We are at war, Anakin. The Jedi Council is sworn to uphold the principles of the Republic, even if the Chancellor does not.

ANAKIN: Why didn’t the Council give me this assignment when we were in session?

OBI-WAN: This assignment is not to be on record. The Council asked me to approach you on this personally.

ANAKIN: The Chancellor is not a bad man, Obi-Wan. He befriended me. He’s watched out for me ever since I arrived here.

OBI-WAN: That is why you must help us, Anakin. Our allegiance is to the Senate, not to its leader who has managed to stay in office long after his term has expired.

ANAKIN: Master, the Senate demanded that he stay longer.

OBI-WAN: Yes, but use your feelings, Anakin. Something is out of place.

ANAKIN: You’re asking me to do something against the Jedi Code. Against the Republic. Against a mentor . . . and a friend. That’s what’s out of place here. Why are you asking this of me?

OBI-WAN: The Council is asking you.

Hoo-boy. When I really think about it, the clarity of Palpatine’s plan really crystallizes nicely here. The Jedi don’t trust Palpatine, but he gives them a golden opportunity to have someone watching him very closely. Palpatine is banking on the fact that Anakin perceives the Council as not trusting him, when in fact, they apparently do – or enough of them to think it’s advisable to ask this of him. Palpatine knows that Anakin does not trust them, even if Anakin hasn’t yet figured this out. He’s playing on the fact that Anakin must be well aware of the Council’s long-standing suspicion of him and his abilities, going all the way back to when Qui Gon Jinn presented him to the Council as a young boy.

And thus Palpatine lays the trap for the Jedi, which they walk into, fully aware even as they do it. Is Palpatine worried about Anakin reporting his doings to the Jedi? Perhaps…but he suspects that, when it finally comes time to make the choice, Anakin will choose him instead. It’s almost as if, after years and years and years of careful plotting and reacting to events, Palpatine is finally ready to go “all in”. I’ve always thought this all very well-constructed on Lucas’s part.

Next comes a scene that demonstrates, for me, the thin line that the Jedi are walking (and they are not walking it particularly well):

INT. CORUSCANT-JEDI GUNSHIP-DAY

YODA, MACE, and OBI-WAN ride in the GUNSHIP as it heads for the Clone landing platform. Mace and Obi-Wan are sitting.

OBI-WAN : Anakin did not take to his assignment with much enthusiasm.

YODA: Too much under the sway of the Chancellor, he is. Much anger there is in him. Too much pride in his powers.

MACE: It’s very dangerous, putting them together. I don’t think the boy can handle it. I don’t trust him.

OBI-WAN: He’ll be all right. I trust him with my life.

MACE:I wish I did.

OBI-WAN: With all due respect, Master, is he not the Chosen One? Is he not to destroy the Sith and bring balance to the Force?

MACE: So the prophecy says.

YODA: A prophecy . . . that misread could have been.

OBI-WAN: He will not let me down. He never has.

YODA: I hope right you are. And now destroy the Droid armies on Kashyyyk, I will. May the Force be with you.

The GUNSHIP lands and the ramp lowers. YODA exits the GUNSHIP. MACE and OBI-WAN stand and give him a brief bow then take off in the GUNSHIP.

Again: hoo-boy. It’s like the Jedi see that something very bad is looming out there if they keep doing things this way, and then they just keep on doing things that way. This facet of the Jedi’s eventual fall – the way they brought a great deal of it on themselves, just by being clueless about things at really bad times – is an element I’ve always wished that George Lucas would have brought forward much more strongly. The Jedi fall is, to me, lines up almost perfectly, by way of metaphor, with that of the Knights Templar. If you’ve never read up on the history of the Templars, check it out…and for a good time, mentally substitute the word ‘Jedi’ for ‘Templar’ as you get close to the end.

But meanwhile: Mace, Mace, Mace, you ignorant slut. The key question here is pretty obvious: if you don’t trust Anakin – and it’s clear that Windu is not alone in his lack of enthusiasm for him – then why on Earth are you entrusting him with such a task? If you all feel that Anakin’s friendship with Palpatine is something to be concerned about, why do you not only tacitly endorse it but openly encourage it by giving him such an assignment? Even Obi Wan, who knows Anakin best and trusts him the most, thinks that Anakin is too close to Palpatine. None of the Jedi actions here really make sense, and to me they illustrate what’s most interesting about the Prequel Trilogy: that the Jedi by this time aren’t even close to being the Jedi Order in its prime. They are disastrously close to something bad happening, and while they know it’s there, they have no real idea where the threat is coming from. Right now they don’t trust Palpatine, but that he actually is the threat has not yet entered their minds.

In terms of this scene, though, I’d add something:

OBI-WAN : Anakin did not take to his assignment with much enthusiasm.

YODA: Too much under the sway of the Chancellor, he is. Much anger there is in him. Too much pride in his powers.

MACE: It’s very dangerous, putting them together. I don’t think the boy can handle it. I don’t trust him.

OBI-WAN: He’ll be all right. I trust him with my life.

MACE:I wish I did. There’s something at odds about young Skywalker. He is powerful and he has done many great things, but his thoughts and feelings are not focused on his Jedi duties.

OBI-WAN: What do you think he’s focusing on instead?

MACE: I do not know.

This will play into something a little later on, pertaining to Anakin’s eventual fall from grace.

Meanwhile, Anakin goes home to Padme, and it’s clear that the pressures on Anakin are starting to take a toll on him there, too.

EXT. CORUSCANT-PADME’S APARTMENT-VERANDA-SUNSET

Padme’s Speeder pulls up to the landing platform. CAPTAIN TYPHO escorts PADME onto the veranda, where TWO HANDMAIDENS (ELLE and MOTEE) are waiting. PADME turns to CAPTAIN TYPHO.

PADME: Thank you, Captain.

CAPTAIN TYPHO: Rest well. My Lady.

CAPTAIN TYPHO gets back into the Speeder, and it disappears into the cityscape. The HANDMAIDENS, Motee and Elle, approach PADME as the SHADOW OF A FIGURE moves in the background. C-3PO is standing nearby.

PADME: I’ll be up in a while.

MOTEE: Yes, my lady.

C-3PO stands, confused, as the HANDMAIDENS turn and exit.

C-3PO: Is there anything I might do for you, my lady?

PADME: Yes, make sure all the security droids are working. Thank you, Threepio.

The golden droid turns and exits.

PADME stands and watches the sunset. The SHADOWY FIGURE moves toward her. She senses something.

ANAKIN: Beautiful, isn’t it?

PADME jumps and turns around.

PADME: You startled me.

He sits next to her on the bench.

ANAKIN: How are you feeling?

PADME: He keeps kicking.

ANAKIN: He?! Why do you think it’s a boy?

PADME: (laughs) My motherly intuition.

She puts his hand on her belly.

ANAKIN: Whoa! With a kick that strong, it’s got to be a girl.

They laugh.

PADME: I heard about your appointment. Anakin. I’m so proud of you.

ANAKIN: I may be on the Council, but . . . they refused to accept me as a Jedi Master.

PADME: Patience. In time, they will recognize your skills.

ANAKIN: They still treat me as if I were a Padawan learner. . . they fear my power, that’s the problem.

PADME: Anakin . . .

ANAKIN: Sometimes, I wonder what’s happening to the Jedi Order . . . I think this war is destroying the principles of the Republic.

PADME: Have you ever considered that we may be on the wrong side?

ANAKIN: (suspicious) What do you mean?

PADME: What if the democracy we thought we were serving no longer exists, and the Republic has become the very evil we have been fighting to destroy?

ANAKIN: I don’t believe that. And you’re sounding like a Separatist!

PADME: Anakin, this war represents a failure to listen . . . Now, you’re closer to the Chancellor than anyone. Please, please ask him to stop the fighting and let diplomacy resume.

ANAKIN: (growing angry) Don’t ask me to do that, Padme. Make a motion in the Senate, where that kind of a request belongs. I’m not your errand boy. I’m not anyone’s errand boy!

PADME: What is it?

ANAKIN: Nothing.

PADME: Don’t do this . . . don’t shut me out. Let me help you.

ANAKIN: You can’t help me . . . I’m trying to help you.

They look in each other’s eyes.

ANAKIN: (continuing) I sense . . . there are things you are not telling me.

PADME is startled at this.

PADME: I sense there are things you are not telling me.

PADME smiles. ANAKIN is a little embarrassed.

PADME: (continuing) Hold me . . . like you did by the lake on Naboo, so long ago . . . when there was nothing but our love … No politics, no plotting … no war.

Here we have another example of a scene that works better as written than as eventually shown in the finished film, which means that it’s another case of overzealous editing. Basically we cut to the middle of a discussion of politics, with no preamble or set-up, which just doesn’t work very well at all. During this whole part of the movie, I remember thinking, “Wow, does anybody ever just sit and talk in these? Is it all politics, all the time?” And I can see that Lucas wanted to get the running time under control, but really – you’ve got to let a story breathe at times.

So I’d pick up the scene earlier and make a couple of tiny additions:

EXT. CORUSCANT-PADME’S APARTMENT-VERANDA-SUNSET

Padme’s Speeder pulls up to the landing platform. CAPTAIN TYPHO escorts PADME onto the veranda, where TWO HANDMAIDENS (ELLE and MOTEE) are waiting. PADME turns to CAPTAIN TYPHO.

PADME: Thank you, Captain. I’m sorry I’m so late. There were some informal meetings after the official business ended.

CAPTAIN TYPHO: You don’t need to explain to me, My Lady. Rest well.

CAPTAIN TYPHO gets back into the Speeder, and it disappears into the cityscape. The HANDMAIDENS, Motee and Elle, approach PADME as the SHADOW OF A FIGURE moves in the background. C-3PO is standing nearby.

PADME: I’ll be up in a while.

MOTEE: Yes, my lady.

C-3PO stands, confused, as the HANDMAIDENS turn and exit.

C-3PO: Is there anything I might do for you, my lady?

PADME: Yes, make sure all the security droids are working. Thank you, Threepio.

The golden droid turns and exits.

PADME stands and watches the sunset. The SHADOWY FIGURE moves toward her. She senses something.

ANAKIN: Beautiful, isn’t it?

PADME jumps and turns around.

PADME: You startled me.

He sits next to her on the bench.

ANAKIN: How are you feeling?

PADME: He keeps kicking.

ANAKIN: He?! Why do you think it’s a boy?

PADME: (laughs) My motherly intuition.

She puts his hand on her belly.

ANAKIN: Whoa! With a kick that strong, it’s got to be a girl.

They laugh.

PADME: I heard about your appointment. Anakin. I’m so proud of you…What is it?

ANAKIN: I may be on the Council, but . . . they refused to accept me as a Jedi Master.

PADME: Patience. In time, they will recognize your skills.

ANAKIN: They still treat me as if I were a Padawan learner. . . they fear my power, that’s the problem. And they’re angry that the Chancellor used that law in the first place. So I’m in the middle, while everything falls apart.

PADME: Anakin . . .

ANAKIN: Sometimes, I wonder what’s happening to the Jedi Order . . . I think this war is destroying the principles of the Republic.

PADME: Have you ever considered that we may be on the wrong side?

ANAKIN: (suspicious) What do you mean?

PADME: What if the democracy we thought we were serving no longer exists, and the Republic has become the very evil we have been fighting to destroy?

ANAKIN: I don’t believe that. And you’re sounding like a Separatist!

PADME: Anakin, this war represents a failure to listen . . . Now, you’re closer to the Chancellor than anyone. Please, please ask him to stop the fighting and let diplomacy resume.

ANAKIN: (growing angry) Don’t ask me to do that, Padme. Make a motion in the Senate, where that kind of a request belongs. I’m not your errand boy. I’m not anyone’s errand boy!

PADME: What is it?

ANAKIN: Nothing.

PADME: Don’t do this . . . don’t shut me out. Let me help you.

ANAKIN: You can’t help me . . . I’m trying to help you.

They look in each other’s eyes.

ANAKIN: (continuing) I sense . . . there are things you are not telling me.

PADME is startled at this.

PADME: I sense there are things you are not telling me.

PADME smiles. ANAKIN is a little embarrassed.

PADME: (continuing) We can’t let this war come between us. Not when we’ve both lost so much!

She steps into his embrace.

PADME: Hold me . . . like you did by the lake on Naboo, so long ago . . . when there was nothing but our love … No politics, no plotting … no war.

ANAKIN returns the embrace, and for a second, his expression is at peace…but then, C-3PO enters.

C-3PO: Oh! I am sorry, Master Anakin, but you have a message. The Chancellor is requesting your presence.

ANAKIN sighs.

ANAKIN: I don’t want to go.

PADME: You have to. You still have your duties.

ANAKIN: But who am I serving?

She kisses him, and they hold each other for just a moment longer.

EXT: CORUSCANT – SKY OUTSIDE PADME’S APARTMENT

Unbeknownst to them, a probe droid is hovering nearby, its camera focused on them as they complete their embrace and part, with ANAKIN walking away.

INT: CORUSCANT – JEDI TEMPLE – COUNCIL CHAMBERS – NIGHT

MACE WINDU sits alone in the Council chamber, watching a holographic feed of what the probe droid is viewing: ANAKIN and PADME embracing. MACE leans back in his chair and turns to stare at the Coruscant skyline, deep in thought.

It’s probably pretty obvious where I’m going with that last bit. George Lucas made quite clear that the real wedge, the final break, between Anakin and the Jedi would center upon Mace Windu. Here I’m drawing that out even more. He has suspicions about Anakin, and now he’s actively pursuing them.

That’s where I’ll stop here. Next time, we come in as Palpatine starts to make his move to lure Anakin away from the Jedi. Tune in!

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Answers, the fourth!

OK, I need to pick up the pace a little bit here….

Continuing with Roger’s queries:

How many copies of the Orson Scott Card’s Superman comic will you be buying. I KNOW you’re his biggest fan. 😉

Heh. Clearly Roger already knows the answer to this: Zero, nada, zip, zilch. No way, not in a million years, never. In that order.

Not one penny will ever find its way from my pocket to Orson Scott Card’s, so long as it’s within my power to prevent it. Heh!

If you are selected pope: will you serve, and if so, what will your philosophy be?

Another one that I can answer briefly: I would sell off all of the Vatican’s art treasures to museums around the world, and give the proceeds to the victims of the church’s pedophile priests. I would also order the release of any and all documents involving that scandal to the world’s law enforcement agencies. And if, after doing those things, I hadn’t been poisoned or shot, I would immediately resign.

Fracking: economic boon, or ecological disaster in the making?

Both, which is what’s so damned scary about it. We know what happens to the Earth when we massively produce energy using fossil fuels. Why we’re not throwing as much effort as humanly possible into developing as many clean-energy production technologies we can, is utterly beyond me. I do not think that history is going to speak well of the era in which we are living. We have our collective heads in the sand, and I find it extraordinarily disturbing.

OK, those were depressing. Where’s a flying pie when you need one?!

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Chickie du Chef

So, in my ongoing efforts to become more culinarily self-reliant, I’ve taken to cooking whole chickens in the crockpot. This, it turns out, is cheaper than buying chicken parts when I need just regular chicken meat for a soup or salad or something. And it’s incredibly easy. I just rinse the chicken, pat it dry, and toss him in the pot. Then I cover him with salt, pepper, and whatever spices I feel like grabbing.

Crockpot Chicken

Crockpot Chicken, done!


The best thing about this procedure, though, isn’t the large amount of cooked chicken I end up with. It’s the next part of the process, because now I’ve begun making my own chicken stock, too.

After we eat whatever of the freshly-cooked chicken we plan on, I bone the rest of the bird and then throw all the remaining parts of the carcass back into the pot (retaining all those wonderful juices that the bird itself exuded whilst crocking away for eight to ten hours). I’m talking skin, bone, fat, gristle, all of it. I cut up a couple of carrots, some celery, an onion, and a head of garlic; into the pot they go. Same with a quartered lemon. Then I cover the entire works with water, put the lid on, and crock the works on low for another twelve hours. The result?

Chicken Stock I

In the words of Emeril Lagasse, ‘Oh yeah, babe.’

I use my Chinese strainer to remove all the big chunks of veggies, bone, fat, and assorted whatnot (if we lived someplace with a yard, I suppose this stuff could go in a compost pile, but we don’t, so into the trash with it).

Chicken Stock II

Then I ladle the broth through a fine sieve to remove the tiny particles of stuff…

Chicken Stock III

…and after that, I have a whole bunch of tasty, unsalted chicken stock. We’ve been portioning it into 8oz servings and freezing it. Having homemade stock on hand is a great feeling, and I’m already thinking of getting beef bones so I can make my own beef stock, too. I can certainly say that my days of using store-bought stocks or bouillon powder are over. Had I known it was this easy–!

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Happy birthday to the love of my life!

Today is The Wife’s birthday.

Our marriage hasn’t been easy. We’ve had to work at it, harder at times than others. We’ve been tested by an awful lot of shit…and a curse of being a creative type is that, with my vivid imagination, I can imagine life without her.

It would well and truly suck.

I can imagine that life, and I would hate it. It would consist of me moving through a world that’s less bright, that’s less musical, that’s less full of light and love. She makes me happier than I deserve. She makes things possible, and desirable, and everything else that’s good. The great portion of my happiest memories all involve her in some way, and the great portion of my saddest memories are salved by knowing that they’re her memories too and that we got through them together.

Could I live life without her? Yes. But I don’t know why I would.

So, as long as it’s within my power, I’m not gonna. She’s stuck with me.

I hope she’s OK with that.

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Sunday Burst of Weird and Awesome

Oddities and Awesome abound!

:: What happened when a guy forgot to send his girlfriend a Valentine’s Day gift. Oh my Goodness Gracious!

:: Being in maintenance for a living, I get to hear a lot of jokes about duct tape, which has a reputation of being useful for everything. I find that amusing, because it turns out that I almost never use duct tape for anything! But anyway, here’s an artist for whom duct tape is a medium, as well as other mundane objects. Wow.

:: Here’s the type of thing I wish I would think of first: The Record Books, or, if classic albums had been books instead. Here’s how he sums up a Celine Dion album-turned-book:

Pleasantly perky pop-psychology paperback positing prolonged pillow-time produces positive paranormal powers. Poppycock.

Further reading from the same author: Let’s Talk About Love, A New Day Has Come, One Heart, Miracle, Taking Chances, and Water and a Flame, dealing with the oral orgasm (oralgasm), ‘real-birth’, soul-mate divination through exsanguination, post-menopause childbirth, mid-life crisis continuity management and, finally, recipes for ‘mental-healthy’ eating.


Heh!

More next week!

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Green

Thanks to the wonder of eBay, I now own a pair of moss green Carhartt overalls. Thus I shall conquer the world. BOW, MERE MORTALS!!!

Green Carhartts!

At the library II

Green Carhartts! II


Oh…in that last photo, I have zero idea what’s going on with my eyes, or why I look like the dude who is just itching to tell you where he’s buried all of his victims. Ye Gods.

And in other news of All Things Green, The Wife crocheted me a new scarf.

The Wife crocheted me a new scarf. Because she's awesome.

I am so prepared for this year’s St. Paddy’s Day! Maybe I’ll even go to the parade this time….

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A meta-note

As part of my effort to lower the amount of snark in the world by lowering it here…I’ve rewritten my comments policy to sound a tad less harsh. So consider this a reboot of the commenting environment here. Behave, but comment away!

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Writing update

So, how’s the writing been going of late? Well, it’s not been terribly productive.

I continue sending queries out for Princesses In SPACE!!! (not the actual title). I have already received one rejection, so we’ll see how things go from here. I’ll query everybody and their brother, before I’ll give up…and heck, by that time, maybe enough time will have elapsed that I’ll just start querying them all again, with a different letter. Who knows. If worse comes to worse, I will self-publish, because one way or another, this book is getting out there. But I’d rather it be in the ‘usual’ way, you know?

As for newer work — I let my NaNoWriMo project go for over a month after November, as I returned to final work on Princesses and then to its query materials. I let it go too long, as a matter of fact, and thus have found myself struggling to get back into that one. So there’s a lesson learned: I’ll lower the quota if I have to, but I will not stop work on a project entirely, unless I feel that it’s just not working and needs more time to ferment in my brain. That’s what I did with The Adventures of Lighthouse Boy (not the actual title), which started out really nicely but then felt like it was bogging down into a cycle of ‘walk somewhere, introduce new character, walk someplace else, introduce another new character, lather rinse repeat’. I really want to get a draft of Deliverance, eh? (not the actual title) done, because Princesses II is starting to take shape in my head at a startling speed. I need to get back to that world, if I’m to get all nine books written before I’m either ninety or dead. (Yes, nine books. That’s how long I envision that series. Unless I get sick of it after six and just say, “That’s all I ever planned on writing.” Like George Lucas totally did not do!)

So that’s where things are right now: Princesses is still a book-in-waiting. Deliverance, eh? is the draft-at-hand. Lighthouse Boy is percolating on the back burner, and Princesses II: Princess Harder (not the actual title) is in the prep stage.

For a guy who isn’t getting paid for any of this shit yet, I sure am busy!

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