Sunday Burst of Weird and Awesome!

Oddities and Awesome abound!

:: It always amazes me to learn of cultural things that are apparently really big, and yet, somehow I don’t learn about them until quite a ways into their fifteen minutes of fame. Case in point: Dorito tacos. How on Earth did I not know about these? Is this what happens when you turn away, in large part, from watching teevee shows actually on teevee, during their broadcast timeslots, with commercials?

:: Bill Moyers and Joseph Campbell’s The Power of Myth, available for free audio download. Wow. I shall have these before the day is out, oh yes!

:: This fellow canoed the Mississippi River. I haven’t dug through his posts yet, but I certainly mean to. I love stories like this. Years ago my parents had a subscription to Canoe Magazine, and one month there was a big feature article about an epic canoe journey that took two guys all the way around North America, or something like that. I read the hell out of that article, over and over again. Good travel writing thrills me!

More next week!

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This situation is out of control. It is out of control and we will be lucky to live through it.

I can’t imagine who thought chicken-and-waffles was a viable flavor for a potato chip.

They’re…well, they’re OK. I would never buy them again, but I don’t recoil in horror from them, either.

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Something for Thursday

I’ve been posting a lot of classical music lately and will likely keep doing so, but why not change the pace once in a while? Here is one of the most beautiful country songs ever written, performed by the ever-amazing Willie Nelson and the always-missed Ray Charles: “Seven Spanish Angels”.


They just don’t write country songs like that anymore.

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A Random Wednesday Conversation Starter

I’ve been making my own trail mix of late, with various combinations of nuts and dried fruit. My current mix consists of salted almonds and unsalted walnuts mixed with dried dates, cranberries, and pineapple. Now, I’m not a big fan of pineapple in general, but the dried stuff is miraculous. I can’t get enough of it, and it tests my self-control.

However, I also throw into the mix when I eat some — I don’t mix it right in, but just add a bit when I dish up some of the trail mix — prunes. This is new to me, and for the life of me, after eating a few prunes each day for about a week, I cannot decide if I like the things or not.

Do you folks like prunes?

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From the Books: Make the Bread, Buy the Butter

I don’t own this book yet. But I’ve had it checked out of the library a majority of the weeks it’s been in the collection, which means that it’s well past time for me to get off my ass and buy a copy, innit? Anyway, Jennifer Reese‘s Make the Bread, Buy the Butter (subtitled What You Should and Shouldn’t Cook From Scratch) is a terrific cookbook. Not just a collection of recipes, it’s a chronicle of one woman’s quest to take more of a do-it-yourself (DIY) approach to her family’s food preparation, and the discoveries she made along the way that there are some things that you certainly should make for yourself (either because it’s easier, or cheaper, or just plain better, or all three), and that there are other things that you’re just fine buying for yourself at the store.

I haven’t done a whole lot of cooking out of the book yet (one new wrinkle is The Wife’s adoption of a gluten-free diet, which has us going in other food directions currently), but there are a lot of good insights here on food and making it yourself and the fact that sometimes it’s just fine to not do things from scratch. The book is full of frank observations, like this:

If bay leaf didn’t exist, would anyone miss it? I’ve never tasted anything and thought, This stew is just crying out for bay leaf. But I keep buying and using it nonetheless.

And Reese’s explorations are hard-core. This isn’t just about making your own breads or spice mixes or your own peanut butter. She writes about keeping — and killing — her own chickens, and keeping goats. She writes about making her own hot dogs (her conclusion? Just buy ’em.). And she writes thusly about a dish that’s wonderful when made at home, but may or may not be worth all the effort: fried chicken.

One rainy Sunday a few years ago, Isabel, Owen, and I decided to pass the afternoon by watching a DVD of The Fellowship of the Ring, that movie about hobbits and elves and Orcs that we’d been hearing about. One hundred and seventy-eight minutes later, during which we neither moved nor spoke, we looked at each other, eyes glazed. We walked straight to the car, drove to the video store, and rented The Two Towers and The Return of the King. It was getting on dusk when I pulled into the Kentucky Fried Chicken down the hill and bought dinner.

My kids were shocked. Happy, but shocked. What was going on with Mom? KFC? I wondered that myself. But we were hungry and the chicken was hot and we had five more hours of Viggo Mortensen to watch. Fifteen minutes after I pulled into the KFC, we were back on the sofa with the bucket on the coffee table, eating mediocre chicken and mashed potatoes and biscuits and watching The Two Towers. It was one of the happiest nights of my adult life and my children still get dreamy and nostalgic talking about it.

Not long ago, I cooked a grand fried chicken dinner out of Ad Hoc At Home by Thomas Keller. I bought the book based on rave reviews of Keller’s chicken, which is brined and air-dried before it is dipped in multiple coatings and fried. The effort paid off; the recipe did not disappoint. TO go with that incredible chicken — because you can’t serve fried chicken without fixins — I mashed potatoes and baked biscuits. There was a salad in there somewhere, too. Frying chicken is messy and nerve-racking because oil spatters and spits and stings your forearms and you have to do it at the last minute, which is also when you’re mashing potatoes and pulling biscuits out of the oven and pouring glasses of water and calling to everyone that dinner is ready. Leave it in the pan too long, and the chicken is ruined; take it out too soon and it’s a health hazard. You really have to be up for the logistical challenge.

And fried chicken comes with baggage: You expect fried chicken to be so good that people lick their fingers. Literally. You expect people to linger at the table and loosen their belts, lean back in their chairs, tell stories, pull out a bottle of corn likker. You expect people to somehow recognize that this isn’t a meal like all other meals.

Sometimes all of that will happen.

Sometimes it will not.

By the time we sat down, I was bleak with exhaustion, everyone was ravenous, and we put away that chicken in about ten minutes flat. The coating formed a crispy sheath around meat that, thanks to brining, was juicy and flavorful through to the bone. The potatoes were a celestial cloud of starch and butter; the biscuits, perfection. But I don’t remember a thing anyone said; I don’t remember anyone lingering at the table or thanking me or recognizing that the meal was special or iconic or hanging around afterward to drink corn likker. One of these days I will forget the evening ever happened. I suspect Mark and the children already have. But that night we ate KFC on the sofa and watched The Two Towers? That, we will never forget.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that the symbols of wholesome domestic happiness — hot biscuits, a platter of home-fried free-range chicken, a family sitting around a table — are not domestic happiness. The family sitting in front of the TV with the bucket may be experiencing more joy and grace and love. Or, of course, they may not be.

Should you make your own fried chicken or buy KFC? Reese says there’s no easy answer to that, and I tend to agree. I’ve made my own fried chicken, and had a good time doing it. And you can probably tell by my self-photos that I’ve had my share of KFC.

I need to buy this book…and even after I do, I’ll probably keep checking it out periodically, just to keep its circulation numbers up.

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Answers the Seventh!

And we keep on plugging away!

First of all, I need to revise and extend my remarks from the other day, regarding what fictional planet I would like to live upon. I don’t think I gave the question enough thought at the time, so here are some additions:

The Mars of Kim Stanley Robinson’s Mars trilogy (note to self: you’re way overdue for a re-read) strikes me as an amazing place that I would love to see, especially if I, like the long-lived characters of his books, get to see Mars all the way from dead red planet to verdant, ocean-covered blue world. I’d love to see that. I saw these photos om Tumblr the other day, comprising what Mars might look like were it completely terraformed:

Wow.

I’m not sure about any one specific planet, but the Commonwealth of Peter F. Hamilton’s Commonwealth novels (one duology and a later trilogy) is an amazing place. Hamilton takes the idea of wormholes between star systems and does something amazing with them: he puts them right on the planet surfaces, so that one can travel from one world to another by train.

I also very much would love to live in Iain M. Banks’s Culture setting. I can’t remember any specific planets (I’ve only read two of the books thus far), but I find the idea of a post-scarcity world deeply interesting.

Ultimately, though, I think I’d be that strange soul who doesn’t really live on any one world. As long as it had room for my books, I think I’d want to live on…a ship. Yup, a ship. A good ship. With a good crew. You can’t take the sky from me!

OK, and now, back to new questions that I haven’t answered yet. These few will be short answers, just because I don’t have long answers to offer on them.

Roger continues his queries as follows:

You get to vote for the Baseball Hall of Fame. How do you deal with the steroid era players?

You get to vote in the Football Hall of Fame. Do you pick a punter? If so, who?

For any Hall of Fame, who has been woefully ignored?

I’ll package those all together.

First, the steroid players. I let them in, if their achievements seem to really merit inclusion. McGwire? Bonds? Yes. Sosa? Palmeiro? Ehhhh…maybe not. Maybe those guys wait.

The problem is that Major League Baseball had no real policy for how to deal with steroids in that era. In the absence of a specific policy dealing with banned substances, I just don’t see a compelling reason that a bunch of sportswriters should get to appoint themselves Keepers Of Baseball Morality. (And besides, I’ve grown quite tired of sportswriters in general. I love good sports writing, as much as I love all good writing, but sportswriters in this country have, in general, become an entire class of sanctimonious asses who get offended if you question their brilliant insights. The idea of some of these jerks standing up as moral bulwarks against the horror of a guy who took drugs to increase his home run production? Who cares?

To me, if we’re going to decide that those players are all ineligible for the Hall, then we also have to basically vacate the results and standings of every season played during the steroid era. Otherwise, it’s just selective morality.

Punters in the Football Hall of Fame? Absolutely. And special teams players, too. Those guys are football players, they contribute to their teams’ successes and failures, and they should he in the Hall, if they’re good enough.

That said, who has been ignored? The Bills’ Andre Reed and Steve Tasker leap to mind. Every year they’re eligible and don’t get in, and inevitably I hear a very deeply silly argument about “How can a team that lost the Super Bowl have that many players in the Hall?” It’s the Hall of Fame, not the Hall of Super Bowl Winners, or the Hall of Stats. Tons of guys should be in who never even got to the Super Bowl.

And for my money, if there’s any debate as to whether Kurt Warner is a Hall of Famer, it should end the second he’s eligible. That guy goes in, or the Hall is a joke.

Finally Roger asks:

Did you watch the Super Bowl? If so, did the refs blow the (non-)holding call at the end of the game?

I watched all of the first half and a good chunk of the second half, after the blackout ended. We attended a Super Bowl party at The Wife’s boss’s house, and he lives…out there. Way out there. You go to the Boonies, take a left, drive past East Bumf***, and then another eight miles and you’re there. We left a little after the blackout began, and got home for most of the fourth quarter. Had the blackout not happened, we would have missed almost all the second half. (Interestingly, on the way home, I got to drive through my first ever sobriety checkpoint! Luckily, I hadn’t been drinking at all that night.)

As for the play in question, I was only partly paying attention at that point. I’ve heard arguments both ways on that non-call, and I honestly am not sure. The refs blew quite a few calls in that game, but then, Jim Harbaugh’s play-calling in that situation was awful. I don’t know what possessed him to get first-and-goal that late in the game, when his running game had been clicking all night and when the Ravens’ defense was tired, and then throw four times. And frankly, Harbaugh’s post-game demeanor was pretty douchey. So even if it was an egregiously missed call, I personally am not terribly offended. Karma, and all that.

We’re getting closer to being finished! Great questions this time around…the gauntlet is thrown down for August!

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