A Halloween Safety Message

As a former Pizza Hut employee who spent four consecutive Halloweens becoming a nervous wreck driving pizza deliveries around town, please allow me to appeal to your humanity on this matter:


Seriously. Just don’t.

Halloween is a terrible night for pizza drivers. It’s a nerve-wracking night to be driving, with many children and families walking around in low-visibility situations. If you want pizza for an easy dinner, please order takeout early and grab it on your way home.

If you just have to order delivery, please take the drivers’ safety concerns into account and lower your expectations as far as delivery times go. Don’t give them shit about how it took 45 minutes, and tip them well. (You should tip them well anyway, but tip them even more tonight.)

And if you’re ordering delivery but you’re not giving out candy so you’ve got your light turned off so that the driver has to try to figure out which house is yours while they’re trying to not hit small children…well, that’s just being a straight-up jerk. Don’t be this person.

Look, folks, Halloween is why God invented frozen pizza, and we’re doing amazing things in the frozen pizza department these days. (Seriously! Try one of these. Or one of these! You’ll be happy you did!) Just get one of those and leave the overworked delivery folks out of it.

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