It shouldn’t be as easy as it is to really damage the bejeezus out of one’s side-view mirror.
Moving on….
2024: The area between the dumpster fire and the tire fire
It’s the end of 2024 (or even the beginning of 2025, depending on when I get this finished; I’m starting to write it on the 29th, but this thing often takes me a few days to cobble together. To sum up my 2024 briefly: it was a strange year, not really great but not all that bad either, at least personally. But it was a year where I spent an awful lot of time feeling like I was somehow in between places I needed to be. Strange feelings, this year. Almost like an identity crisis, or maybe it’s a mid-life thing going on–which seems a bit odd, since I’m 53 now and I should be beyond the mid-life thing, shouldn’t I?
Anyway, more on the year that was below. First, my usual roster of pieces I wrote here that I enjoyed. I was wondering how to best indicate which posts in this list are more photo-centric than others, since 2024 saw me dig even deeper into photography as an artistic and creative outlet, and I have decided that I will indicate those posts with italics.
Scenes from downtown Buffalo and Canalside
If God had meant for us to shovel snow, we’d have shovels instead of hands
Remembering when I saw The Amazing Kreskin (who died just a short while ago)
Two Musicals: Eurovision and La La Land (I loved both)
On Character: Schindler’s List
Let the River Run (photos of water)
About Town
The trains don’t run anymore
Astro
The worst shopping center ever built
The Eclipse of 2024
At the Gardens
Thoughts on Nixon, 30 years gone
On the romance of old maps
Phil! (Rosenthal, that is)
Sometimes, ya never know
Aurora
Serendipity, part one
Serendipity, part two
Anti-serendipity
At the Pierce-Arrow Museum
People Looking At Art
In which I am made to feel older than dirt
Dispatches from the Faire
I scream, you scream…a quiz about ice cream
An abstraction from nature
Round and round and round: on roundabouts
Little Quinn, twenty years later
Lights and dogs and blurred motion!
Am I still a writer?
Scenes from the Snowy 716
So much depends on a red cableknit sweater
What is “value”? Thoughts on MVP awards
Go Bills, except….
I’m slightly embarrassed by this: I started two posts in January, one for capsule reviews of each book I read in 2024, and the other with the same idea but for movies. And I did fine for half the year! Here’s the post for books though July 1, and here’s the movies post. Then…I dropped the ball on this badly for the second half, to the point that I’m not even going to attempt recreating them at this point. I’m going to try again this coming year. We’ll see. I’m honestly annoyed at myself for this, because I read and watched some really good stuff in the back half of this year, quite a bit of which should have had notice in this space.
I am going to make a separate post containing favorite photos of mine from the year gone by, but that’s going to be separate. Otherwise you’d be here scrolling and scrolling and scrolling.
So now, on with the annual quiz:
Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My resolutions never change much: “Read a lot, write a lot, eat healthier, walk more, listen to more music.” To this I have added: “Take lots of photos!” Which is something I’ve always done, but I need to reflect my new focus on photography.
So, how did I do? Not bad, in terms of reading and photography. Writing, though…this was tough. 2024 was a struggle for me as a writer, to the point that I struggled with my actual identity as a writer. It wasn’t Writers Block, it was…do I still even want to do this? I delved more into those thoughts and feelings in a post linked above.
Where am I now? Well, I think now it’s a matter of finding some balance in all this stuff as not just a writer, not just a photographer, but as a content creator. I think that’s where I’m heading, and I’m going to lean hard into this in 2025. I’m not getting any younger, after all. I did start making video content in 2024 (check out my YouTube channel!), though I didn’t get as much done there as I wanted to; one thing I’m doing now is putting together a strategy for that sort of thing in 2025.
As far as eating healthier, enh…maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. There’s always room to improve there, I suppose.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
Did anyone close to you die?
No.
But…with Mom dying in November of 2023, it still feels like someone close to me died in 2024. It was a hard year, with that hanging over me the entire time.
And…well. Dad is…not gone yet.
What countries did you visit?
Just America. Here’s hoping we still can leave the country in the future.
What would you like to have in 2025 that you lacked in 2024?
A better sense of who I am right now. I think I’m starting to figure it out. Seems awfully late in life for a midlife crisis, but here we are.
Also, another year gone by without getting hit in the face with a pie. What am I doing!!!
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Developing my photography skills. This was the real goal I had for this year, and I most certainly got that done. In fact, that’s going to have a post of its own, sometime in the first week of 2025. In a year when a lot felt…off, somehow, including my literary work, photography is the one thing that felt absolutely right.
I also did start doing video work, though my efforts were halting…but they were there. I did some of the work. I got a bit more comfortable doing my thing in front of the camera, which is huge. I have high hopes for more consistency in that realm in 2025.
Oh, and I started using Lightroom for photo editing.
What was your biggest failure?
I don’t think it was a failure, really, but I had to do a lot of grappling and introspection around my identity as a writer. There was a lot to work through. I only think of this as a “failure” inasmuch as an awful lot of time got spent not writing that could have been spent actually writing. But sometimes you have to spend the time the way the time needs to be spent.
What was the best thing you bought?
If you really want to get technical, it’s not a thing I bought in 2024; it was a Christmas present for The Wife and myself in 2023. But 2024 is when we started using it: a Contributing membership in the Buffalo AKG Art Museum. Not only is the museum itself an amazing place and we love going there, but this level of membership gives us free admission to other museums all over the country and even other countries. We’ve taken advantage of that benefit just a little, but just you wait, folks. Just you wait.
Whose behavior merited celebration?
Sigh. A year ago I wrote this in answer to this very question: American voters do seem to be less-than-sold on the creeping fascist behavior of the Republican Party, though.
Let me just say that this year has not left me in a celebratory mood. I have said a number of times that I’m bullish on humanity, but I am much less so on America, and nothing I saw in 2024 gives me pause to reconsider that stance.
So let me cite one thing that has brought unvarnished joy to Buffalo, at least: Josh Allen. It boggles my mind to think that there are people walking the earth who dislike this man.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I’ve been saying “Republicans” for years now, but this year? It’s the American people. Everything that is about to happen will do so because we collectively decided that it should.
Where did most of your money go?
Food, booze, and honestly? That’s about it! Paying down bills, too. This was not a big year for consumption. I bought very few books in 2024, because my focus was on reading some of my huge library for once (and supporting my local huge library). I did buy some overalls this year, because hey, I’m still a collector.
What did you get really excited about?
Photography. I had some amazing days spent doing photography this year, and the art has started to really shift and impact how I look at the world.
Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
I don’t know. I’m definitely calmer, though. That’s something.
Thinner or fatter?
I’m pretty sure I gained a bit of weight. Not a lot, but just enough that I know it’s time to get some focus going in the other direction.
Richer or poorer?
Richer, but not by a lot. I have hopes and goals, though.
What do you wish you’d done more of?
Even more photography! And I went through a lengthy reading slump in late summer and early fall. That wasn’t fun.
And zero pies in my face. I have got to get some of that scheduled for 2025.
What do you wish you’d done less of?
Eating junk food. There were times when it was way too easy.
How did you spend Christmas?
Just the three of us: myself, The Wife, and The Daughter.
It was actually our second Christmas since Mom died, but she died in November of 2023. The feelings were still fresh and raw, and the activities were still going on, and everything was still a whirlwind last year. This year is the first one where the reality has had a chance to settle in: the traditions are just memories now, the voices and the laughter are only in my mind. I thought about that a lot this year.
Did you fall in love in 2024?
I wonder what the official count is on times I looked over at The Wife this year and thought, “Wow….”
How many one-night stands?
I always think I should just delete this question, and yet, here it is, every year.
What was your favorite TV program?
The Repair Shop marches on. We also attended upon the newest season of Bridgerton, and we found ourselves caught up in the flannel-clad soap opera of Virgin River, which is a lot of fun if you want a flannel-clad soap opera. (Nobody in it wears overalls, though! This I do not get.)
Food shows continue to make us happy: chief among those are Somebody Feed Phil and Gordon Ramsay: Uncharted, which are both food-based travel shows (or are they travel-based food shows?). Both approach the world with wonder and love, and the Ramsay show is especially terrific because he ventures to places that aren’t the “usual suspects” of the food world. He did an amazing episode in the most recent season in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, and now I actually want to go there.
It just occurred to me that I should mention YouTubers that I like in this space, but I think I’ll save that for another post, or maybe the Substack.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
If you’re a Republican who supported the incoming President, and I learned your name this year, guess what.
What was the best book you read?
I’m on Goodreads, by the way, if you want to see my actual reading rosters for this (or any other) year! I know that mostly we’re down on Goodreads, and many are moving to something else, but I’m lazy and Goodreads works for me. All I want is something where I can look up if I’ve read a book (if I don’t remember it) and see a little of what I thought of it. My “reviews” there aren’t really even reviews, honestly; other readers looking at my blurbs to see if they might like a book might not find me terribly useful as a resource.
But here are a few books I liked a great deal:
Three Rocks: The Story of Ernie Bushmiller, the Man Who Created NANCY, Bill Griffith
The Innocent Wayfaring, Margaret Chute
Lost Spells, Robert MacFarlane
Kind of a Big Deal: How Anchorman Stayed Classy and Became the Most Iconic Comedy of the Twenty-First Century, Saul Austerlitz
The Sun Over The Mountains: A Story of Hope, Healing and Restoration, Suzie Fletcher
I also started reading through the Ian Fleming James Bond novels (part of a possible future project) and a Guy Gavriel Kay re-read, of which I have thus far only re-read The Fionavar Tapestry.
What was your greatest musical discovery?
I’ve known about The Killers for years, but this year I really started listening to them. (And I did so before “Mr. Brightside” became an improbable stadium anthem for the Buffalo Bills.)
What did you want and get?
Time shooting photos.
What did you want and not get?
A nation where fascism is not a tolerable option for the majority of voters.
What were your favorite films of this year?
I loved Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga, La La Land, and Woman of the Hour.
What did you do on your birthday?
We made our annual trip to Ithaca, and a great time was had by all.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2024?
It’s just all-overalls, all-the-time now. I also added a ballcap to my hat collection, which now numbers…two. Go figure!
What kept you sane?
Long walks with the camera. Petting dogs. Good food and drink. Museums and the Botanical gardens. Reading. Music. I suggest “burying myself in art” is going to be more and more of a thing now.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I already mentioned Josh Allen, so I’ll mention Josh Allen.
What political issue stirred you the most?
Abortion, climate change, and America’s ongoing flirtation with shitcanning democracy.
Who did you miss?
My mother.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2024:
I always recycle this, plus some things I added last year:
Read a lot, write a lot. Listen to music. Go for walks and look at sunsets. Take all the pictures you want. Learn new things and try new stuff. If you have a dog, take him for walks. Buy books for your daughter, even when she complains that she likes to pick her own books (let her do that, too). Nothing fits your hand so well as your lover’s hand. Eating out is fine, but learn to cook things, too. Have a place to go where they know you and what you order. Don’t be afraid to revisit your childhood passions now and again; you weren’t always wrong back then. Overalls are awesome, it’s OK to wear double denim, and a pie in the face is a wonderful thing!
To this I’d add: The United States of America desperately needs to re-embrace rational and collective thinking, and ditch its mythologies about rugged individualism and the eternal wisdom of “the Founders”.
And, via Letterkenny: “More hands makes less work!”, and “Pitter-patter, let’s get at ‘er!”
For 2024, I would add: Take pictures. Lots of pictures. And if all you have is the camera on your phone, who cares? Take the pictures!
If you take selfies, post your six favorite ones:
I’m going to defer this one to my Photography Wrap-up post, which should be along sometime soon.
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
I mentioned The Killers above as my big “musical discovery” of the year. I tried to–and did!–listen to a lot more new and unfamiliar music this year, but one album I kept returning to was the live album recorded from a Killers concert at the Royal Albert Hall in London. It just sounds like it was a fantastic show, and I love the band’s sound: optimistic technopop, is how I’d describe it. Or, to quote Mr. Clark, “It’s got a great beat and you can dance to it.”
Anyway, I waffled on which Killers song to mention here. Their biggest hit, I think, is “Mr. Brightside”, which has more recently become an unofficial stadium anthem for the Buffalo Bills. They play the song at the stadium and put the lyrics on the SuperJumboTron and the whole stadium sings it. We were out walking the dogs one night (I think it was the Chiefs game), and the weather and the winds were such that it was one of those nights when we can hear the stadium like we’re there, and let me tell you, 70,000 happy Bills fans singing “Mr. Brightside” is a hell of a thing.
But no, I’m going to go with the song that’s something of an anthem for me, personally. It’s the song that leads off that album: “Human”.
I did my best to noticeWhen the call came down the lineUp to the platform of surrenderI was brought, but I was kindAnd sometimes I get nervousWhen I see an open doorClose your eyesClear your heartCut the cordAre we humanOr are we dancer?My sign is vitalMy hands are coldAnd I’m on my kneesLooking for the answerAre we humanOr are we dancer?Pay my respects to grace and virtueSend my condolences to goodGive my regards to soul and romanceThey always did the best they couldAnd so long to devotionYou taught me everything I knowWave goodbyeWish me wellYou’ve gotta let me goAre we humanOr are we dancer?My sign is vitalMy hands are coldAnd I’m on my kneesLooking for the answerAre we humanOr are we dancer?Will your system be alrightWhen you dream of home tonight?There is no message we’re receivingLet me know, is your heart still beating?Are we humanOr are we dancer?My sign is vitalMy hands are coldAnd I’m on my kneesLooking for the answer
Are we humanOr are we dancer.
So, that’s 2024. I don’t have great feelings about 2025, if I’m being totally honest. But there’s going to be plenty of time for that, isn’t there?
“The cannons of his adversary were thundering in the tattered morning when the Majesty of England drew himself up to meet the future with a peaceful heart.”
–T.H. White, The Once and Future King
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Scenes from the Snowy 716
It took a while: we recorded one of our latest initial snowfalls, if not the latest initial snowfall, ever. It didn’t actually snow until November 30, and then last weekend we had our first trademark lake-effect storm of the year. This one didn’t clobber us too badly where we live, which is kind of a change from recent years; we got maybe two feet plus some change. That sounds like a lot, but it fell over two days and really, given some of our recent experiences, two feet is pretty much toward the “inconvenience” end of the scale. (Areas to the south, called “Ski Country”, got the brunt of it this time, and honestly? Good.) And as I write this, we’re in the upper 30s and nicely melting, and we’re going to be in the 40s the next few days. That’s the cycle we like to see: we get popped with snow and then melt a lot of it off. Lather, rinse, repeat–until March or April.
Photos:
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Thanksgiving 2024
I used to write and post a long list of things I was thankful for each year, but I haven’t done that for a few years as it got to be an exercise in copying-and-pasting. I’m still thankful for an awful lot, but this holiday hits different anyway. Last year, Thanksgiving came less than two weeks after Mom died, and since then Dad has gone to an assisted living facility, so this is the first Thanksgiving that truly feels like it’s being spent without my parents in the world. Worse than that is the state of my country; it’s hard to summon up warm and fuzzy Thanksgiving feelings in a nation that has apparently chosen authoritarianism.
Still, it’s Thanksgiving. I hope it’s happy.
“Thanksgiving”, by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
We walk on starry fields of white
And do not see the daisies;
For blessings common in our sight
We rarely offer praises.
We sigh for some supreme delight
To crown our lives with splendor,
And quite ignore our daily store
Of pleasures sweet and tender.Our cares are bold and push their way
Upon our thought and feeling.
They hand about us all the day,
Our time from pleasure stealing.
So unobtrusive many a joy
We pass by and forget it,
But worry strives to own our lives,
And conquers if we let it.There’s not a day in all the year
But holds some hidden pleasure,
And looking back, joys oft appear
To brim the past’s wide measure.
But blessings are like friends, I hold,
Who love and labor near us.
We ought to raise our notes of praise
While living hearts can hear us.Full many a blessing wears the guise
Of worry or of trouble;
Far-seeing is the soul, and wise,
Who knows the mask is double.
But he who has the faith and strength
To thank his God for sorrow
Has found a joy without alloy
To gladden every morrow.We ought to make the moments notes
Of happy, glad Thanksgiving;
The hours and days a silent phrase
Of music we are living.
And so the theme should swell and grow
As weeks and months pass o’er us,
And rise sublime at this good time,
A grand Thanksgiving chorus.
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Morning skies
Sorry about the radio silence of late, folks, but I’ll be honest: Current Events are consuming more of my brain cycles than I want to admit, and while I could fill this space with my thoughts as to how the Election For All Time is going…I just don’t want to write about that. But I also can’t find a lot of mental energy right now to write about anything else.
So, you get pictures. I took these of the morning sky. The first is of Orion the Hunter, partly shrouded by clouds; this was taken on a morning when I was up at 6am to walk Hobbes. The other two I took when I got to work! That’s the view from behind The Store, just before sunrise and only a few minutes before my shift started. That sliver of moon captivated me. I love the sky, and the morning sky is just as wondrous, many times, as the night one.
Expect light posting, if any posting happens at all, for the next day, two, or three…basically until we know if Americans have risen up against fascism once again.
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Wifi? Iffy!
Contrails
This morning it fell to me to get up and take Hobbes out for his morning relief walk, which this time of year happens before sunrise. On the way back, I saw a jet contrail in the sky, and this one was neat because it wasn’t just a normal grayish-white contrail, but rather it was lit up goldren-red by the sun that was still beneath the horizon. I always like seeing the shiny contrails of early-morning flights, and sometimes the planes themselves are also catching the morning sun as they jet across the sky, carrying their passengers to adventures galore, some happy and some sad and some probably boring.
Ten minutes later, as Hobbes and I were getting home, I looked up again. That first contrail was much longer and was starting to spread out as they always do…but then I noticed not one but two other contrails, left by planes that were flying almost the exact same path. I had never seen that before. I briefly thought to run inside and check a flight-tracker site to see if I could figure out which planes these were and where they were going on their route that took all three right over our house, but I got wrapped up in dishing up Hobbes’s breakfast and making the coffee and whatnot, so by the time I remembered I had no chance of figuring it out. Oh well. Sometimes mysteries are better left unsolved!
Bon voyage, folks!
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Memories of Twenty Years Ago
Twenty years ago, a drive to the hospital in the morning.
Twenty years ago, calling off work because it was time, the baby was on his way.
Twenty years ago, bright sunny skies over Buffalo.
Twenty years ago, a very long day of pain and struggle.
Twenty years ago, thinking, “At the end of this day, one set of dreams comes true and another starts.”
Twenty years ago…seeing them wheeling her into surgery prep, and being given ill-fitting scrubs to change into.
Twenty years ago, sitting again by her side while they did the Caesarian.
Twenty years ago, thinking, “This isn’t the way we wanted this to go, but we’ve been here before and we can do it again.”
Twenty years ago, sensing a change in the mood of the doctors as they extracted him from the womb.
Twenty years ago, wondering why he wasn’t crying yet.
Twenty years ago, hearing one of the doctors–the main one, maybe?–saying, “This isn’t good.”
Twenty years ago, looking at that other table and seeing them taking out the intubation tool and thinking, “I’ve watched enough ER that I know what that is. Why are they using that? What’s going on?”
Twenty years ago, waiting at her side while they did whatever it was they did to him and for him, someplace else in that giant building that was always too cold no matter where you were.
Twenty years ago, being taken upstairs finally to see him instead of him being brought to us.
Twenty years ago, meeting the NICU nurses for the first time.
Twenty years ago, wondering how they could hook all that stuff up to a human being that tiny.
Twenty years ago, wanting to know why he couldn’t cry.
Twenty years ago, seeing that new set of dreams stop before they could even start.
Twenty years ago, learning that life was somehow going to be more now about fighting than living.
Twenty years ago, starting the remainder of my life to wonder what could have been, who he might have been, what he might have become.
Twenty years ago, beginning an unbroken streak of asking “Why?” each and every day.
Twenty years ago, the first day of a life that lasted for 458 more.
Twenty years ago, our son.
Happy birthday, Quinn.
Where are you?
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On Mom’s birthday…
Dispatches from the Faire
Last weekend, The Wife and I attended the Sterling Renaissance Festival. We went by ourselves and The Daughter stayed home, because we didn’t want to board the dogs overnight; but never fear, The Daughter was able to use the third ticket today. In fact, she’s there as I write this.
I took a ton of photos that day, so let’s just get to them. More are available on this Flickr album, including some images that I didn’t revise in Lightroom.
The Renaissance Faire continues to be a pleasant mix of the old and comforting with the new and exciting. I didn’t see as much of the Festival’s cast interacting with the attendees in impromptu displays of Elizabethan-inspired improv this year, but there was still quite a bit of that. Also, we seem to eat less at the Festival than we usually do. Lunch was a turkey leg (and I managed to eat mine without getting barbecue sauce on my white shirt!), later we had wine slushies and She had a pickle while I enjoyed a pretzel. We stopped for fried chicken on the way home. I do admit that I had plans on a slice of cake, but they were sold out when I got back just before the evening joust, and honestly, I’m not sorry about that. Much.
The weather for us this year was nearly perfect: low humidity, temperatures in the mid to high 70s, and decent breezes through the wooded Festival grounds. I continue to be amazed at my adaptation to heat as I get older. Years ago wearing overalls to the Faire would have been unthinkable, and yet, here I was!
And now, another year is over. Next up for us, Festival-wise, is the Erie County Fair, and then about six weeks after that, we’re off to Ithaca. This is a wonderful time of year.