And they did the math with SLIDE RULES.

Someone on Reddit questions the technological amazingness of landing humans on the Moon. Someone else sets them straight (salty language alert):

Oh no you fucking didn’t. You have no idea.

The moon is 385,000 kilometers away, and spinning around us at roughly 1 kilometer per second. NASA engineers took a hunk of metal and explosions, stuck a few men in there, and managed to hit what is essentially a tiny moving target in the vast expanse of nothing that is space.

They also managed to make all of the technological shit work and stay working outside of the protection of our magnetosphere. You know, that thing the deflects the enormously damaging interstellar radiation and makes life on Earth possible. Those suits that keep astronauts alive out there? Those aren’t just neat diving suits, they have to keep the pressure in, the radiation out, survive enormously abrasive moon dust, and still allow the person inside to move.

The lander had to come down safely on an uninhabited hunk of rock, not a landing strip, not a parachute into the ocean, a fucking slab of iron. Then, it had to shoot half of itself back up to the return capsule. All of this had to be precisely-calculated, otherwise they wouldn’t have enough fuel. Or, if they weren’t exactly correct, the could ram the return craft and kill everybody.

The mathematics and engineering involved are staggering. This isn’t science fiction kid.

Preach it!

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I lived on a cul-de-sac once….

There was a brief running story in the comic strip Pearls Before Swine a couple weeks back that had the strip’s animal characters commiserating with their creator, Stephan Pastis, on his failure to win the highest award for cartoonists. (Pastis routinely draws himself into the strip; it’s one of many reasons I love Pearls.)

This led to this installment:

And of course, reading that, I had to look up this other strip, Cul de Sac. I’d never heard of the strip before (the Buffalo News doesn’t run it — but we get our crappy reruns of For Better or For Worse, so heckuva job, BuffNews!), but having read through a chunk of archives online, I have a new daily must-read. So thanks, Stephan Pastis! You’ve given Richard Thompson at least one new confirmed reader.

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I’ll pay you $1000 to shove the airhorn up Coach’s arse.

If there’s a sports story that’s more simultaneously surprising and no surprise at all than the current “bounty” scandal that’s enveloping the New Orleans Saints, I haven’t seen it. Apparently former defensive coordinator Gregg Williams offered players financial incentives to hit guys hard enough to knock them out of games. The NFL has been investigating this for two years, and Williams has pretty much openly admitted it.

I’ll make no secret that I never liked Williams. He was head coach of the Buffalo Bills from 2001 to 2003, and putting it plainly…he was an ass. He showed up at that first training camp, barking how he was going to change things around here and walking around camp with an air horn that he liked to blast in players’ faces. Change the culture? Now, the Bills had just undergone a salary-cap driven roster purge that was going to send them to a 3-13 record, but this was still a team just two years removed from its most recent playoff spot (which is still, to this day, the team’s most recent playoff spot). Nothing about Gregg Williams’s public persona in Buffalo ever indicated anything other than “douche”, so on that score, I’m not surprised that he’s involved.

Likewise, this does shed a bit of light on just why Williams has never received another shot at a head coaching job. Most guys who fail at their first coaching jobs eventually get another shot, especially if their failed shot is with a team like the Bills, who have come to be seen as a mismanaged organization from the top. And Williams has still been highly touted as a defensive coordinator, winning a Super Bowl with the Saints. And yet, he’s never yet received his second shot at a head job. Why? I’m willing to say that part of it is because he’s done this kind of stuff for years, and that most of the NFL is aware of his dirty laundry and the nasty habit dirty laundry has of eventually coming out.

I’ve heard some disturbing rhetoric about all this, to the point that it’s not that big a deal. This bothers me a great deal. No one disputes that football is a violent game, and if players get together before games and on the ‘down low’ offer each other cash to hit opposing players hard, well, all you can do is make that illegal and deal with it if you catch them doing it. But for coaches to be involved puts an official stamp on it. Something that’s under-the-table becomes organizational policy, whether it’s on the books or not. And that, I think, crosses a line. There’s a very real difference between “I hit other guys because I play hard and that’s my way of playing” and “I hit other guys because there’s money in it for me”.

Football is a game where players get hit, and where players get hurt. So are a lot of games. But the object should never be to hurt the other guy, and that’s what bounties do. That’s why they’re bad. Put it this way: if you think that this is no big deal, and that it’s normal in football and that the Saints just got caught (one commenter on Facebook the other day referred to it as a ‘manufactured controversy’, an odd sentiment given that it hasn’t been fueled by the media but is rather the result of a two year NFL investigation), then you can’t think that this guy is a dirty bastard:

ADDENDUM: I’m seeing a lot of comparison of this business to SpyGate. There’s no question in my mind that this is far, far worse than SpyGate. But if there’s one meme about SpyGate that I’d like to see put to bed, it’s the notion that Roger Goodell came down super-hard on the Patriots for that. There was a big fine, but still an amount that for an NFL organization is the equivalent of a parking ticket. And yes, he stripped them of a 1st round draft pick — in a year when the Patriots already had two. So even after going 18-1 and being found guilty of breaking NFL rules, the Pats still got to pick in the top ten of the Draft. No, they did not get hit hard in that punishment. Goodell handed down a punishment that was designed to look tough, but really wasn’t. I suspect he’ll have to come down harder on the Saints, but he can’t strip them of a 1st rounder this year, because the Saints traded it away last year to move up. And here’s a conspiracy thought: this has been a two year investigation, which means that it was ongoing a year ago, so the Saints knew that the chickens were going to come home to roost sooner or later. Maybe that played a role in their wishing to trade this year’s pick away last year; they knew that if they wanted to use it, that might be the only way. Hmmmmm.

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Thank you, Ralph McQuarrie

Ralph McQuarrie, conceptual artist for many films, died the other day. Every article and blog post out there cites his art that heavily influenced the eventual look of, among other films, Star Wars, and the frank truth is that without McQuarrie’s concept paintings, Lucas might well have never convinced any studio to bankroll the film in the first place.

Here’s a sampling of his work, via AICN:

Enjoy the stars, Mr. McQuarrie!

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Yes, yes. To Mr. Jones you listen!

Mr. Jones on The Phantom Menace, after he saw the 3D version:

My wife kept suggesting a trip to see the Star Wars: The Phantom Menace during its 3D run over the past few weeks. At first, I thought she was just suggesting it because she knows my love of Star Wars, but it has begun to dawn on me that she is a genuine fan. (This may seem unusual to not know about your spouse, but my opinions and dedication to the universe are pronounced. When combined with our tendency to do things for the other out of desire to make that person happy, it is sometimes difficult to know what is a genuine preference or just a willing deferral for the sake of the spouse’s happiness. It’s wonderfully complicated.) So, we finally made it to a showing Sunday afternoon on a blissfully relaxing three-day weekend.

What I found was a film that surprised me. I found it to be well-paced, moving, interesting, visually stunning, and above all, fun. I don’t mean this in an analytical Lucas-apologist sense — I think I actually surprised myself with how much I appreciated and enjoyed the film when it was just me and my wife and no one around to have to defend it against.

I’d love to see the movie on the big screen again, but I’ve never liked the way 3D makes my entire frontal lobe physically feel like it’s about to explode out my eye sockets. But still: TPM is great! Really! Truly!

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Sentential Links

Time for linkage…but first, a song by Pink Floyd!

:: So again, because I can’t say this strongly enough: asteroid 2012 DA14 is not an impact threat for February 2013. (Now I can stop worrying and write that symphony!)

:: A lot of board games come out every year. Some of them are really great. Many of them are okay rehashes of what has come before. Some are crappy. And some are just sort of there. This post is dedicated to the last category. (Man, I really need to do more table-top gaming.)

:: This is what passes for a punchline, presumably because it’s a line of dialogue actually makes you want to punch a fictional character.

:: It is good to be reminded that I have the ability to be grounded and full, that the world is not slipping away quite as fast as I think. (I am so doing this one of these days. Although we have an electric stove, so I’ll have to allow that one.)

:: My vote for the scummiest people on the planet are the lowlifes who own and operate towing companies. Not the good folks from service stations or AAA providing roadside service; I’m talking about the dirt bags who tow your car from parking spaces, hold your car hostage, and then essentially rob you to get it back.

:: The people wanted those services that were provided by the government, and they were willing to pay more than the actual $200 that the tax increase would have cost them in order to get them. The thing is, they would rather pay more than pay the government for those same services. (But…gummint is always bad! Taxes bad! Market good!)

:: Just because everyone has been telling you for years that The Empire Strikes Back was the best of the original trilogy doesn’t mean you have to keep quiet and knuckle under to the mob. That’s what Goebbels counted on, right? So say it proudly: Return of the Jedi is the best of the six Star Wars movies! Come out of the closet! (When asked to name a Best Star Wars movie, I almost always name A New Hope, just because it came first and nothing else would have come after had it not been, well, frakking awesome. But in all honesty, I adore each and every one of these damn movies. Kevin Drum writes a nicely argued post in defense of RotJ, and I’ll go one better to say that I like the Ewoks just fine!)

More next week!

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I have heard the people sing

I suspect that a great many of us nurse various dreams, some big and some little, that go unfulfilled for many years. Those dreams are always there, percolating in the background of our minds, sometimes surging to the fore but most times just staying in the background, only surfacing as part of a general reverie of things we wish might be. One of my such dreams has for years been to see Les Miserables onstage.

It’s no longer a dream of mine. Two nights ago, it became something I’ve done. What an odd feeling. Dreams don’t have to be big to feel strange upon their fulfillment.

Les Miserables first hit me back in August of 1987 or 1988, one of those two years – probably the latter – when I attended Bristol Hills Music Camp for two weeks. This was exactly what the name implies: a summer camp for young musicians. There were vocalists and string players there as well, but as a trumpet player I was in the wind ensemble. One guy led the wind ensemble the first week, another guy the second. The first guy, Mr. Sprague, was more into ‘showy’ pieces, while the second, Mr. Rudgers, had a more ‘cerebral’ approach (in coming years Mr. Rudgers would use us as guinea pigs in his own compositions, which I always enjoyed – he wrote some good stuff). It was really a wonderful contrast; both men were fantastic at what they did, and I’m a big fan of variety. Anyway, it was during the first week of one of those two years when Mr. Sprague put on our program an arrangement of tunes from Les Miz.

I don’t recall much of that arrangement at all, except that it was a pretty good arrangement. There was a cool solo for most of the instrument groups, and it ended with – what else – “Do You Hear the People Sing”. I had zero idea what Les Miz was about, none whatsoever, but man, those tunes just sank into my heart and never left. And I suppose I wasn’t the only one: I was friends (platonically, I swear!) with a really nice girl named Aimee, who spent much of camp that year trying to fend off the advances of a sax player who was nursing an enormous crush upon her. One day I walked by and he had kinda-sorta cornered her and was flirting with her by playing “On My Own” on his sax to her. Ahhh, the days of hanging out with people who were more comfortable communicating through a tune than any other way! There are times when, if I could turn back time, I’d go back there, and stay.

Like a lot of musical kids, I was in the habit of buying recordings of pieces we played, as a way of keeping an auditory scrapbook. When you play a work and fall for it, you want to be able to hear it forevermore, even if it’s an arrangement for high-school level band and the best you can do is get an abridged version of the Original Broadway Cast recording. This is not abnormal…one of the most popular such arrangements back then was the one from The Phantom of the Opera, which is why nearly every fellow music student of mine owned that recording, too. For various reasons, though, Phantom wasn’t the show that captured me for life. We never played its band arrangement at camp, and we never played any such arrangements in high school. (I suspect that Mr. Roosa would have chewed his own arm off rather than stoop to the level of playing an arrangement of tunes from what he would have seen as Broadway’s current Flavor-of-the-Month, which was odd considering that when I played under him in the Pit Band for our school’s production of The Music Man, he showed quite an understanding and flare for show music.) So Phantom slid right past me, but Les Miz charged right in.

I listened to that disc a lot – I still own it, actually, although I haven’t played it once in a very long time, since it was supplanted by the astonishing live recording made at the Tenth Anniversary concert productions from the Albert Hall in London. That’s the recording that is billed as the “dream cast”, and so far as I can tell, it is. I’ve listened to that recording tons of times over the years. With Les Miz, I tend to go through phases where I listen to nothing but Les Miz for two weeks or so. And yet, in all that time, I never saw the show live, onstage. The touring production would come to Buffalo every two or three years, but somehow its arrival always coincided with an inability on my part to acquire tickets (lack of money) or something else (presence of a baby, which also took care of the money-for-tickets issue). It’s only been in the last few years that I’ve been in a position to actually be able to afford tickets – and that was right on time for the touring production to wind up shop and for the original show to close on Broadway. I pretty much figured that Les Miz had passed me by.

But then, a year or so ago, we were in Shea’s Buffalo to see Wicked, and I saw then that there was a new, 25th Anniversary Production of Les Miz set to come to Buffalo in 2012. I resolved, then and there, to get tickets, no matter what. The tickets ended up going on sale at a pretty inconvenient time – a couple weeks before Christmas, which kind of screwed up my Christmas budget – but I chose my seats and placed the order. This show was not passing me by again.

It may seem strange, forming so strong an association with a show that I have never seen, but it’s all about the music to me, and there is nary a melody in Les Miz that doesn’t hit me right in the emotional sweet spot. The emotions in this show are so open, so raw, and so perfectly captured by the melodies that express them. This is surely by design, as the tunes come and go and come again, with new lyrics each time, but some expressing similar things each time we hear them. But one of the show’s signature tunes – that of Fantine’s heartbreaking “I Dreamed a Dream” – is heard, and then is never heard again. This is the kind of thing that fascinates me. Of course it has to be this way, because Fantine’s life is doomed, and she will never really have any close connection with anyone in the show other than Jean Valjean; even her daughter, Cosette, grows up knowing virtually nothing at all about her mother.

Les Miz blurs the line throughout between hero and villain, policeman and criminal, lover and hater. Jean Valjean is twice a thief and a parole-breaker and a rebel. Inspector Javert is single-minded nearly to the point of insanity, and his inability to process the fact that he owes his life to both Jean Valjean and his obsession with bringing Valjean to justice leads him to what might be the show’s most dramatic moment, when he flings himself from the bridge into the waters of the Seine (in a pretty astonishing effect in the stage production, I might add).

A lot of time goes by in Les Miz — seventeen years of it, and the story makes clear that we’re only joining in the middle; Valjean’s story began nineteen years earlier than that, with his theft of a loaf of bread, a single, simple act of larceny that will resonate through his life and those of others for so many years to come. We see Cosette grow to a woman, and we see Valjean age to infirmity. Along the way we encounter student rebels and see the tragedy that ensues when they give their revolution and no one comes; we meet the people who profit by picking over the corpses; we see redeeming love and hopeless love and hatred for hatred’s sake. That’s quite an evening.

I noticed for the first time, also, a theme of faith running throughout the show. Valjean is a bitter ex-con at the beginning, going so far as to steal from a priest, but when the priest intercedes on his behalf, Valjean is moved to live a life of faithfulness, going so far as to become a new person (even though it means breaking parole). And all throughout the rest of the show, Valjean’s faith is well-nigh unshakeable, even on the eve of the final battle at the barricade, when he sings the amazing “Bring Him Home”, a prayer for God to allow Marius to survive what is sure to be a failed rebellion. Contrasting Valjean is Fantine, who, in “I Dreamed a Dream”, seems to have given up on faith entirely (“I dreamed that God would be forgiving”), now that she’s been left by a man she loved and cast out of her job. But just as Valjean’s faith was rekindled when someone interceded, so is Fantine’s when Valjean intercedes, even on her deathbed. Thus it is that when it comes time for Valjean to die, it is Fantine who first comes to his side to show him the way to the next world.

It’s also telling that, when Valjean joins the dead at show’s end, the most overtly religious individual in the show – Inspector Javert – isn’t there. Does this mean that he is in Hell? Have the words of his Act One song “Stars” come true?

And if I fall as Lucifer fell,
the flame, the sword!

But Javert does fall as Lucifer fell – at least, I’m sure he would see it that way – so has he been cast to the flame? I suppose that’s so…but I can’t help thinking how poetic it would be if it was Javert who came to Valjean at the end, thus fulfilling his long pursuit simply by bringing Valjean into death.

Having merely listened to the music all these years, I was a bit fuzzy in some of the particulars of the story (especially why exactly Valjean suddenly feels the need to flee Paris at the end of Act One); now, at last, it all makes sense to me. Emotionally, I was pulled in from the very first few bars, and I remained pulled in until most of the way through the first act. Some of the steam did come out of the show a bit, I thought, as various conflicts for the second act were set up and pieces were moved into place. But by the time that first act ended with “One Day More”, I was back in; and through just about all of Act II, I was a complete wreck, all the way to that shattering last scene, when Valjean says his final farewells and is led into the afterlife by Fantine and Eponine. Though I was somewhat anxious before the show that it couldn’t live up to my expectations, I felt almost no disappointment whatsoever by the time the final curtain came down.

Stage productions really have to rely on big gestures and great music to pull me in. There are no cinematic tricks available; you can’t have lingering closeups of characters exchanging subtle glances, and you can’t have super-convincing fight sequences using stunt performers. Scene changes have to be concealed somehow, and light has to be used to distract the audience. Misdirection is employed all over the place; two characters go to stage right and interact for a minute, hopefully keeping the audience looking over there while the scenery is changed on stage left. In the case of Les Miz, it was all very convincingly and nicely done; the sets were designed to convey the idea of what they represented and were left somewhat hazy out at the edges, so that our imaginations might fill in the details. I’ve read that the original production featured a giant turntable on stage that would rotate one entire set out of view; this one is more traditional, with props being brought in and out. Interesting use of the backdrops – which are based on paintings by Victor Hugo himself – are able, at times, to convey illusions of motion, and the costuming is what you expect: bodices and lacey collars and tricorn hats and the like.

As far as the cast for this particular production, everyone was excellent to outstanding. J. Mark McVey’s Valjean was wonderful, and the show clearly doesn’t work without a good Valjean. (No, he’s no Colm Wilkinson, but that’s like a Pirates fan judging every right fielder who comes along by the standard of Roberto Clemente.) While McVey earned the night’s biggest applause with “Bring Him Home”, the best vocals of the night overall came, in my opinion, from Andrew Varela as Javert, although Richard Vida’s Thenardier and Betsy Morgan’s Fantine were both memorable. I’m hard pressed to name a weak link in the cast I saw…and even if I could, I don’t think I’d want to.

No, the stage production lived up to my ‘expectations’, such as they were. What I’m more nervous about is the filmed version that’s to come this December. I remember reading in some comments thread someplace – maybe on AICN – back when The Phantom Menace came out, one person was trying to process disappointment by pointing out, “I’ve made Episode One in my head a thousand times since 1983.” Well, I’ve made the movie of Les Miz in my head a thousand times too, over the years, right down to a recurring visual motif of a bridge over the Seine where a number of key events would all take place. The movie will have none of the limitations of a stage show, so how will it look? Will it exchange dark and evocative peripheries of the image for brightness and boldness and lots of swooping CGI effects? How will “One Day More”, the Act I finale (and a showstopper that I find nearly overwhelming), be put together, given that it features a bunch of characters singing at the same time but who are not all in the same places? I suppose we’ll see. I don’t think it’s too hard to get this kind of thing right…but then, I thought the movie version of The Phantom of the Opera was the bee’s knees, and it’s not too highly regarded.

And so I go on, having at last seen Les Miz. This may have been my final personal “Holy Grail” of live or filmed entertainment. I’ve held it, and I’ve found…illumination. The question now is, if the show comes to Buffalo again, do I see it a second time?

Actually, come to that…it’s not really a question at all, is it?

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Sunday Burst of Weird and Awesome!

Oddities and Awesome abound!

:: Ramen Rater is a blog that reviews ramen noodles. This is awesome. Trust me. (If all you know of ramen is the super-ultra cheap stuff that sustained you in college because those fifty cents you found in the cushions of your couch represented five ramen meals, believe me, you don’t know your ramen!)

:: Least Helpful is a blog that gathers examples of Amazon and other online reviewing gone seriously awry. How awry? Well, on reviewer actually thought “Go the F**k to Sleep” was a real children’s book.

:: This is really cool: it’s a timelapse movie of a period of time on the waterfront of Vancouver, BC.

Woodwards 3303, 10th Sep 2011 from abonstu on Vimeo.

I love the ferry boats that come and go, always following the same route; one zips away, and another zips in. Great stuff!

More next week!

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Whooooosh!

Wow, is it ever windy today! In fact, this whole friggin’ winter has been really windy. We’ve had spectacularly little snow so far this year, and now that it’s March, except for the odd late-season storm that we’re known to get, we’re very likely pretty much done with snowfall for this year. According to last week’s Buffalo News, we’ve had slightly more than 34 inches so far this year. Usually we’ve received more than twice that. A lot of people are happy about this, but I’m not…I like snow, and I like going sledding and walking in the snow at Chestnut Ridge park and other such places.

What I do not like is wind. I find wind incredibly irritating, because wind can pretty much render any set of weather circumstances unpleasant. High wind in winter is awful, because it makes the cold colder and more painful…but high wind in summer is just as unpleasant, because it makes it hard to do anything fun outside then, too. I’ve been to picnics when I’ve spent more time holding stuff down than eating; riding a bike in wind is just not fun at all; walking is drudgery, and I’m sure that jogging (which I’m planning on taking up when it warms up a little) isn’t fun in the wind, either. Back when I used to go kayaking, paddling a boat into wind was a lot of shite. And just sitting in the grass and reading is tough to enjoy when the wind is having its way.

This winter has been very windy…it’s felt like excessive levels of wind at least twice a week for three months, and I think we’ve had more Wind Advisories than Winter Weather Advisories. We’ve had a lot of days where we’ve sustained wind gusts of over 50 mph. And today we’re having another one. I would gladly take twice the snow we’ve had this winter in exchange for half the wind.

Although, I must admit that overalls can be fun to wear outside when it’s really windy. If you angle yourself correctly, the bib will fill with wind, like a little sail, and it’s like you’re being tugged around by the overalls. But aside from that…wind sucks.

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ForgottenStars.net

The official site of Kelly Sedinger: Reader, writer, photographer, and dreamer

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