Twenty-two shades of Crap

I have zero intention of reading Fifty Shades of Grey, because…well, life’s just too short, and I already read Twilight. But Kerry read it and reports. A sampler of her opinions on this book:

2) Her catch phrase, the thing she utters in all and any circumstance, is “Holy crap.” For example, when she’s at the climax, if you will, of an erotic moment with her dominating hero, she will scream “Holy crap.” “Holy crap” is never a sexy thing to say.

3) The male character, in turn — god-like, well-educated, nuanced sex fiend that he is — often says things like, “You look mighty fine, Ms. Steele. Mighty fine.” WHO SAYS THAT? It makes him sound like a cross between Pa Ingalls and the lumberjack on Brawny paper towels. Not sexy. Not one bit, even if you lived in the Pacific NW in the 1800s.

Of course, the whole point of reading these books seems to be to read about Teh Sex, and my recent experiences with George RR Martin convince me that my tolerance level for badly written sex is very, very low. So I don’t think I’ll be reading this book, or sequels, or whatever.

(Huh…maybe it’s the title. Shades of Gray is the title to one of the most loathed episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, a crappy clip show that has them drilling holes in Riker’s head.)


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4 Responses to Twenty-two shades of Crap

  1. M. D. Jackson says:

    I've only just learned about this phenomenon (from my daughter. She was telling me that some of the guys in her graduating class are reading it — in secret, of course.) I've had the title mentioned to me but the reference went over my head until now. Apparently it started out life as Twilight fan fiction but the sex drew protests from ardent Twilight fans and the author was forced to withdraw it, whereupon she re-wrote it and self published. Naturally, internet stardom soon followed.

    The book has been so popular with housewives that it has been dubbed "mommy porn". And that's about as far ahead of the curve as I intend to get.

  2. Roger Owen Green says:

    Something else I can pass on. Yay!

  3. Kerry says:

    I got my own dedicated post! Yayaayyy!

    It's about something as abhorent as that stupid %@$#&* book. Boooo!

  4. Matthew MacNish says:

    Number one, number two, make it so!

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