Ye Olde Quizze Masterre

Two quizzes from SamuraiFrog, here and here. The first looks familiar, but I’ve been doing these for so long, I’ve probably already done it at some point. Maybe I’ll seek that out and, if I did do it, compare answers. Or not.

1.Name: Real name, Kelly; Internet handle, “Jaquandor”

2. Nicknames: None, really.

3. Feet size: 11, although that can vacillate a bit depending on the brand of shoe in question.

4. Do you have a crush: Sela Ward, as always; and I have the feeling that my long-dormant crush on Gillian Anderson’s about to come back in a BIG way.

5. Girlfriend/Boyfriend: Wife.

6. Age you act: Twelve, probably. That’s the true Golden Age of Science Fiction.

7. Where Do You Live: Orchard Park, NY, which is a suburb of Buffalo.

8. Where you want to live: Anyplace in Southern Erie County. I love this whole region so damn much.

9. Birthplace: Pittsburgh, PA

10. Favorite Salad Dressing: Extra-virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

11. Ever gone skinny dipping? Heavens, no. Swimming clothed, yes, but in the buff? Believe me, nobody wants that.

12. What are you watching? PBS, because I’m that friggin’ cultured. (OK, fine, I’m not watching PBS. I’m sitting at my desk writing this; The Wife is watching Deal or No Deal.)

13. Last person you talked to: Either The Wife or The Daughter, within the last fifteen minutes or so. Or maybe one of the cats. I don’t remember the last thing I said.

14. Favorite movie: Star Wars, duh!

15. Favorite Book: The Lord of the Rings or The Lions of Al-Rassan.

16. Favorite Type of music: Classical, film music, and Celtic.

17. Favorite types of cars: The ones we haven’t invented yet that don’t run on gasoline because even though we’ve known for decades that we’d eventually reach this point we decided to be lazy about it all.

18. Favorite Saying: I say “We can only hope” a lot. My best friend likes to poke fun at me for saying that.

19. Favorite Fast Food: A jumbo all-beef from Ted’s Hot Dogs or a Super Mighty from Mighty Taco. (I don’t consider pizza a fast food.)

20. Favorite Ice Cream: Coffee Haagen-Dasz, although I haven’t had it in many moons.

21. Favorite Alcoholic Drink: Just one? I can’t pick. Big fan of rum, Southern Comfort, red wine, and various beers.

22. When Do You Go To Sleep: Generally between 11 and midnight.

23. Most Embarrassing Moment: It’s so hard to pick just one, sadly. There was this time I…no, never mind.

24. Stupidest Person you know: “Myself,” he answered, displaying his famous diplomatic aplomb.

25. Funniest Person you know: The Daughter is always good for a laugh or two.

27. Favorite Food: Pizza, I suppose.

28. Favorite Song: I couldn’t possibly name a single favorite, but it would probably be a Lerner-and-Loewe song if I could. So picking one at random, oh, “Wouldn’t It Be Loverly” from My Fair Lady.

29. Favorite Television Show: The Office, Grey’s Anatomy, Hell’s Kitchen.

30. Favorite Radio Station: WNED, Buffalo’s classical station.

31. Favorite junk food: Savory: burgers. Sweet: chocolate chip cookies.

32. Favorite sappy love song: For some reason, I really like “Inside Your Heaven”, sung by Carrie Underwood. It was her first single after winning American Idol.

33. Favorite Drink: Water.

34. Favorite article of clothing: You’re kidding, right?

35. Favorite Animal: The orca.

36. School: Went to a few.

37. How Many Kids You Want: The one I have, and the ones I lost.

38. What Kind Of Job: Maintenance.

39. Wedding song: “Unchained Melody”. I would have preferred “Reflections of Passion” by Yanni, but there’s nothing wrong with the Righteous Brothers. (Yes, I said Yanni. Shut up.)

40. Pets: Two dumb cats and one cat that’s marginally smarter.

41. 5 years from now? Published?

42. 10 years from now? Published, happy, healthy.

Have You Ever…?

1. Done Drugs: Only by prescription. Illegal stuff, no.

2. Run Away From Home: No. I had no idea where I’d go.

3. Hit A Girl: No. I don’t see anything more inherently wrong with hitting a woman than hitting a man; I just think that hitting people is generally a bad thing.

4. Lied: Sure. Not proud of any of them, but sometimes you have to and sometimes you don’t.

5. Stolen Anything: In my idiotic youth, yes. Since then, just the occasional marker or pack of post-its from the office supply room.

6. Broken A Bone: I broke my collar bone in seventh grade when a local bully pushed me off my bike. Should I ever meet him again, I plan to break both of his collar bones, among some other less essential parts of him.

7. Cheated On A Test: Yeah, once or twice. Not terribly proud of that, either.

8. Cheated On A girlfriend/boyfriend: Never, not once.

9. Gotten Drunk: Yup. Not in a long time. I used to enjoy the occasional drunkenness, but last time I got good and plowed, I decided that I just didn’t like the feeling anymore.

10. Been With Two guys/girls At Once: Huh?! What?! I’ve gotta be honest here: I find the whole menage a trois notion pretty repellent.

11. Been In The Hospital: For myself? No, except a couple of trips to the emergency room as a kid to have a broken bone set and another time when I needed tetanus shots after an unfortunate encounter involving my kayak and a barbed wire fence. (No, I’m not making that up.)

12. Let a friend cry on your shoulder: This is what shoulders are for.

13. Fell asleep in the shower/bath: No, but I’ve nodded off in the hot tub before. (My parents’ hot tub, actually. As if we own a hot tub.)

14. Gone to Church: Yes, on most Sundays.

15. Never slept during a night: Does this mean, pulling an all-nighter? Aside from a couple of cross-country drives during the college years, only once, and that had nothing to do with studying.

16. Ever been on a motorcycle or motorbike: No. They look fun, but I think I’d be terrified in one.

17. Been to a camp: Yup, the Bristol Hills Music Camp. Two years as a camper, two as a counselor. What a great time.

18. Sat in a restaurant w/o ordering: No.

19. Seen someone die: Nope, I missed that fine honor by about an hour.

20. Gone a week w/out shaving: Well, I’ve had a beard since a month or two after I started working at The Store, so yeah.

21. Didn’t wash your hair for a week: Ewwww!

22. Broken something valuable: I don’t offhand recall ever breaking anything valuable, but I’ve broken things that were of enormous sentimental value to me.

23. Thought you were in love: As opposed to actually being in love? That’s kind of a weird distinction, isn’t it? Anyway, I’m always in love.

24. Streaked the streets: No. And there’s a reason for that.

25. Screamed at someone for no reason: Doesn’t everybody?

26. Said I love you and meant it: Otherwise it’s just words, isn’t it?

27. Been hurt by a guy/girl you loved: Those are the hurts that hurt the most.

28. Stayed up till 4 am on the phone: No, since I generally don’t like talking on the phone. But I’m open to the possibility.

29. Pulled a prank: Yes, but I’m pretty much of a low-grade pranker, and when I prank someone, I usually stand there grinning like an idiot until they discover the prank, and then I take full credit for it. I’m not the type for obscure or mean pranks left unidentified.

Which Is Better…?

1. Coke Or Pepsi: I have no real preference between the two, to be honest. By default we get Pepsi more than Coke because The Wife strongly prefers Pepsi, but I don’t much care.

2. Cats Or Dogs: Cats. Duh. But a nice, big dog would be nice someday. Like Murray in Mad About You; he was a fun dog. No stupid little dogs for me, though: if the sound your dog makes can be honestly represented by the word “yip”, then it’s not a dog. You’ve got yourself a rodent. (Actually, I’d probably get a dog and then be horribly disappointed when he turns out to not actually be Satchel from Get Fuzzy.)

3. DVDs or VHS: Is this an option anymore? I love the DVDs, and I’m annoyed that now Blu-Ray is getting pushed down our throat.

4. Deaf Or Blind: If I had to pick one? I guess I’d rather be blind than deaf, because I never want to lose the ability to hear music. But to never again see the faces of certain people? That would also crush my heart like a walnut.

5. Pools Or Hot Tubs: I enjoy swimming. I also enjoy soaking in hot tubs.

6. Television Or Radio: Two different things for two different places, really. I like both.

7. CDs Or mp3: MP3s have lots of advantages for convenience, and I have to admit that it’s the way of the future. But I’m still not entirely happy with the idea of divorcing content from the physical storage medium. Hard drives aren’t as rigorous as CDs, and that’s that.

8. Apples or oranges: Honestly, I love both. I eat an orange nearly every day at work with lunch, and I tend to eat several apples a week. My apple consumption goes up toward the fall when the fresh harvest starts rolling in. (BTW, who out there actually likes the Red Delicious apple? I’ve never yet met a person who claims that as their preferred apple.)

9. Strawberries or Blueberries: I adore strawberries, but I couldn’t live without blueberries.

10. Gold or silver: Gold.

11. Vanilla or chocolate: Chocolate. Rich, dark chocolate. With nuts, or without nuts. With mint filling, without. Or with peanut butter. Or with no filling at all, that 72% cacao stuff that is so dark and chocolatey it’s as if the gods of chocolate have bestowed their favor upon you for one brief second. (But you know what? For all my deep dear love of chocolate, I also think that vanilla is a very underrated flavor of its own. There are few pleasures in the hottest summertime better than a bowl of good vanilla bean ice cream with some fresh blueberries on top.)

12. Video or Movie: Depends, but usually it’s a DVD at home.

13. Park or Beach: Parks these days, but I’d love to go to a beach again and feel the sand between my toes. We used to go to the beach frequently as a kid, during the years when we lived near Portland, OR. There are beaches on Lake Erie, but for some reason we never much get to them. I’m not sure why. I do love the seashore, though; there’s something elemental when I’m standing on the edge of the ocean, something that calls to me. (I think it’s the kraken.)

14. Hot or Cold weather: Given a choice between heat and cold, I take cold. I don’t like heat. But who knows? Maybe as I get smaller, that will change.

15. Sunset or Sunrise: Sunset.

When is the Last Time You…?

1. Took a shower: About three hours ago.

2. Cried: It’s been a few days, oddly enough. I’m probably due.

3. Watched a Disney movie: Hmmm. Been a few days on that, too.

4. Given/gotten a hug: When The Wife got home from work.

5. Been to the movies: Now that has been a while – Enchanted, maybe? We don’t get to the movies much at the theater, because it’s just too expensive to do regularly anymore. That seems to me a pity, since I love sitting in a theater and watching a movie.

6. Danced: I only dance when I’m alone, because I’m very, very bad at it. I think. I’d love to learn Irish step dancing, though, as a project for some unspecified time in the future when my chest more resembles Michael Flatly’s than Tom Arnold’s.

7. Did a survey like this: Sometimes I think that surveys like this are the only reason this blog exists!

What Is…?

1. Your Fondest Memory Of This Year: Tom Brady’s slumped shoulders after the Super Bowl.

2. Your Most Prized Possession: I suppose the laptop.

3. The Thing That Makes You The Happiest: When I try to make someone smile, and it works.

4. Your Favorite Food For Breakfast: On a normal day, frosted shredded wheat with blueberries on top, with OJ. On a spectacular day, pancakes or waffles.

5. Your Favorite Food For Dinner: If they could invent a pill to counteract all its ill effects, I could probably eat pizza every night. But I also love Chinese. And burgers. And salads topped with chicken or tuna. Or black bean stew. Or chili. Or macaroni and cheese, the way I make it homemade with shell pasta and pork sausage.

6. Your Favorite Slow Song: Sam Cooke, “Wonderful World”. The Platters, “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes”. Blackmore’s Night, “The Village Lanterne”. Van Halen, “Love Walks In”. Ben E. King, “Stand By Me”. I could go on.

7. Your Ideal BF/GF: One who’s smart, caring, strong, fun to talk to, one who encourages my good insanities and discourages my bad ones, one who thinks I’m not ugly. I lucked out.

What Do You Feel About…?

1. Bill Clinton: I miss his Presidency, but the current campaign isn’t doing his image any favors.

2. Love at First Sight: Yes. And no. A sight can point to a possibility, I think, but not actually the real thing. For that, you need interaction.

3. Abortion: The ugly truth is that unless medical technology gets to the point where we can literally gestate fetuses in artificial wombs all the way from conception, and unless that technology is freely available to all women, we’re always going to have abortion. Thus, I think it should be legal and safe.

4. Smoking: One of the nastier things we’ve invented for ourselves, and I really don’t have much sympathy for the smokers who complain about cigarette taxes and that they can’t smoke in bars anymore. If you don’t like the expense, then quit.

5. Death: Not a big fan.

6. Rap: I don’t think it’s artless noise, but it’s not my cup of tea, either. I’m a bit dismayed by the violent nature of the rap “culture”, though.

7. Marilyn Manson: I don’t know anything about him, but my general impression is that he’s pretty lame.

8. Premarital Sex: See, this is one of those things that depends on the situation. I’ve never understood the “casual hookup” kind of thing that happens between two people who literally met three hours before at some bar. But otherwise…I don’t really care what consenting adults do.

9. Suicide: I’m reminded of Hannibal Lecter’s line about a patient of his who met a grisly demise: “Best thing for him, really. His therapy was going nowhere.” Suicide can sometimes seem like a cowardly thing to do, for those of us on the outside of the suicidal person’s head, and that’s the problem, isn’t it: courage, bravery, and cowardice are internal qualities. None of us knows what’s in another’s head and heart, so it’s awfully hard to pass judgment on those whose lives have taken them to a place where the only option they can find for themselves is to embrace death. Suicide, to me, represents the ultimate in mental illnesses, when the very part of us that craves life has been overridden.

And yes, I do believe there are times when death can, and should, be among one’s options.

Wow, that got pretty heavy there at the end, didn’t it? So, in the interests of lightening the mood, here’s that old bunny with the pancake on its head!

Hee hee, bunny with the pancake on its head. That’s comedy gold!

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