A Quiz of Questionable Politeness

I saw this quiz at SamuraiFrog‘s place. It’s a bit more explicit than the kind of thing I usually do, but…well, it’s a new year and all, so here goes.

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Rush Limbaugh. Preferably when he’s standing next to Sarah Palin and Joe Lieberman.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

Wow, this isn’t nice. Ye Gods! I wouldn’t want to wipe anyone from existence, but there’s a guy who does parody songs for WGR, the local sports-talk station, whom everybody but me thinks is funny. I’d like to make him stop.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Joe Lieberman.

4. What is your favorite cheese?

We just went from punching people and blowing people up to…cheese. Strange quiz, this.

And really, doesn’t the answer depend on what we’re doing with it? There are times when cheddar is called for, and others when anything other than mozzarella is an affront to God.

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?

Right now? Is this the last sandwich I’ll ever eat? OK, then: Cappicola on a toasted roll, with mayo, romaine lettuce, onions, tomatoes, and banana peppers.

If it’s just a sandwich right now, PB&J will be fine, please. With a big glass of milk.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?

OK: exploding people to food and now to sex? And why should I assume that of any random tryst with a celebrity of my choice, the celebrity is the one who’s lucky? I mean, my skills aren’t exactly…oh jeez, there’s just no way to finish this sentence well, is there? Zoe Saldana, then. (She’s on the brain because I watched Star Trek last week with the kid.)

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?

Natalie MacMaster, I guess. Wow, this is getting to be a creepy quiz.

8. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?

These days, I probably go the boring route and use it to load up on some groceries in the freezer, or maybe I pick up a power tool of some sort that I don’t already have.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?


10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?

Rent a car and drive around to see stuff. Eat some of that wonderful English food.

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is…?

Captain Morgan.

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?

Dallas, November 22, 1963. Because I would just have to know.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

The Constitution of the United States.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what’s the premise?

It’s called Stupid People Getting Kicked in the Ass by Nathan Fillion. The premise is inherent in the title.

15.What is your favorite curse word?


16.One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

I start screaming like a little girl. (As if you wouldn’t.)

17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the item?

My laptop bag, which will naturally contain the laptop, my external hard drive, and my Flash drives.

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?

Kick Death in the junk because he’s been entirely too much of a pain in my ass the last five years.

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be?


20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Is anything different about the time? Do I get to change anything? Or just observe? I’d like to watch my own wedding again.

21.You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Telling The Daughter that her brother had died.

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin’! What country are you going to live in now?


23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?

Hmmmm. I don’t get to bars much, and the ones I do go to have restaurants. I guess I’d want to be able to go to Danny’s for the soup.

24. Hopefully you didn’t mention this in the super-powers question…. If you did, then we’ll just expand on that. Check it out… Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like “Dude, check it out…I can FLOAT!”?

What’s the difference between “flight” and “floating”? Am I just bobbin’ away in the air? That sounds stupid.

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?

Carl Sagan.

26. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

This is so obvious, I won’t even say it.

27. What’s your theme song?

“We Have All the Time in the World”, Louis Armstrong.

Not sure about this quiz, to be honest. The questions seemed too weird for my tastes.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.